Chapter 97
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[MEMBERSONLY]
Chapter One Hundred Seventy: Battling to Believe
In the darkness of the stable, where little moonlight penetrated through the tiny window near the ceiling, trembling pale fingers found their strength to straddle a black horseback.
The horse whimpered uneasily, sensing the disquiet of his eerily silent master.
In an attempt to console him, the horse nudged his master's head.
Lord Arnav placed his hand gently on his horse's snout, and the horse looked at his Master, upon whose pale face shone the the moonlight, to reveal his eyes glistening with tears.
"Shadow..." He whispered weakly, "You must take me to the forest."
The horse expressed a guttural neigh.
Suddenly, his master groaned and buckled over, leaning against the horse's foreleg.
"I can't..." Lord Arnav weakly clutched at his pale neck, "...bear this pain..."
The horse neighed sadly and shuffled where he stood, as he tried to push his master to help him to his feet.
Lord Arnav pressed his head against Shadow's leg and his hand reached up and faintly patted his horse's mane in assurance. Slowly, both horse and master supported each other and Lord Arnav was standing on his feet, slightly leaning against his horse's side.
Shadow was distraught. He knew what was happening. His master needed to be secluded. To be kept away from habitation.
After many years, it was coming again.
Under the weight of an unspeakable burden, Lord Arnav rode on Shadow into the forest, making sure no one knew of the escapade. His swift horse was almost like an invisible wind speeding across the dark stretch of land that lay between the hill and the forest.
He raced his horse noiselessly through the dark trees, cantering over roots, flying over bushes and making way into the darker depths of the land.
Cold wind slapped against Lord Arnav's face and the tears on his cheeks stung. He sensed his strength was fast slipping...He felt nauseous...
His hold on the reins weakened and he could not sit still. He leaned forward and lay against his horse's mane, the wind made by the speeding race permitting Shadow's soft black hair to caress his face, as though to console him.
Suddenly something erupted in him and he dug his fingers painfully into his horse's side. Neighing feebly, Shadow came to a sudden standstill and Lord Arnav limply slipped from the side and feel on his back with a loud crashing to the dark forest floor.
Shadow worriedly nudged at his Master's face but Lord Arnav looked away, "Go away, Shadow!" he gasped, "Go away!"
Shaodw was reluctant and he stood unmoving for a moment, and only when Lord Arnav looked at him sternly with angry tears in his eyes did the horse obey. With a slight whimper, the black steed turned and disappeared into the darkness.
Breathing hard, Lord Arnav struggled to his knees, slowly finding the strength to unbutton his shirt. Pain rocketed up his spine and he buckled to the floor in a crouch, not wanting give in. But he knew there was no escape this time. He was certain with the torment of emotions he ws undergoing, it would emerge to take him by force after lying dormant for so long.
Gasping in his attempts to breathe and calm himself, Lord Arnav fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.
Weakened by his mind's torments and now by his physical pain, he felt his vision blurring, by tears or by a spasm he was not certain.
But before anything worrying happened he had managed to strip off the clothes that covered him and he fell to the cold ground, on his knees, shivering as the bitter winds kissed his naked skin.
His mind was swimming and he felt bowed down by a tumult of emotions, ranging from anger to hurt, but the sensation that dominated them all was the one that gave him the strength to not give in to the pain: the sense of betrayal.
Betrayal by the man he had trusted his sister to...betrayal by the girl he had-
Kushi's face crossed his mind and then the words from the letter she had written to General Shyam reverberated from his numbed depths.
Breaking apart inside, he leaned down to the ground, pressing his pounding forhead to the cold forest floor.
Wildness swirled inside of him and he moaned. Fresh tears sprang in his eyes and he inhaled deeply, but it was not succumbing.
He felt dizzy and his sister's face came to his mind, smiling at him, her arms wide open to welcome her Chotey into her motherly arms'...
Mother.....Amma...
Lord Arnav sat up, his arms hugging him in helpless warfare with the bitter winds, and he stared into the darkness of the forest, as new images swept into his mind.
Gun shots rang in his head and his mother's scream blasted his senses.
"No! Amma!!!" he jerked up, his bare heels digging into the ground.
And then he was running. He didn't know where he was headed and where the path led to, but he was running, running further and further away from everything that gave him pain, everything that made him hate life...
The wildness within him threatened to surface, but he kept it at bay with his running, though memories that fueled it were suddenly upon him.
He saw his father raise his hand to slap his mother and anger raged in him.
With every ounce of his remaining energy, he kept running, the cold wind flying by him as his pale naked form sprinted through the darkness of the forest...
Before he knew it, his feet didn't feel cold anymore and the power in his blood roared as he bounded through the forest on all four...
A guttural sound escaped his mouth and he ducked a branch and raced onward.
Smells and sounds reached out to him and the hair on the back of his neck stood in alertness of the nightly expanse.
He could sense the forest creatures running away and staying clear of his path as they became aware of his alien approach from afar, but he was too filled with anger to thirst for flesh or blood.
Perhaps it was because his emotions were in a muddle, but suddenly his human consciousness broke over his animalistic nstincts and the urgency of the moment was upon him making him turn his direction.
His beastial senses located the presence of a forest lake in the distance and without a moment's hesitation, he bounded forth and then, with a sudden pounce, he was flying through the trees and plunging down, the still lake splashing awake as he dived into its cold depths.
As the ripples died and the water became calm again, cold breeze blew through the trees and there was stillness all around.
Then suddenly, something broke forth to the surface of the lake and Lord Arnav, naked and dripping wet, scrambled out of the lake, shivering, and crouched beside it, gasping and spitting out water.
With great effort, he moved his stiff limbs and stood up, shivering in the moonlight, before resuming to walk back the distance he had run.
Water dripped from the ends of the hair on his forehead but he trained his eyes on the ground, noting the tracks made by his anger-ridden side.
Then, he paused.
His mind was engulfed again by the memory of the bitter betrayal and he clenched his fists, not caring that he was hurting his own arms by the pressure.
Wild anger racked inside of him again and this time he let it reason...
That foul man...he knew he was never to be trusted and yet he had made a blind puppet of himself by letting that man partake of the most important person in his life...
And Kushi...his fists clenched until they were bloodless and pale...Kushi...here the betrayal was the heaviest for here...
There was pain like the kind he had never endured before. He had wanted her, trusted her, desired her to share in his future...and yet, all this time...she had betrayed him!
Lord Arnav had stopped shivering, feeling oblivious to the cold, and he clenched his fists as blind anger tried to make reasons that stretched out to suspicion and mistrust...
How long had she known the General? How long had they been writing to each other? Had they known eachother even before his sister had married? How could she have dared to write letters to him, knowing he was a married man?
When she accepted the offer to be handmaid to Lavanya, had she come to stay at the Castle to get closer to that wreck of a General or to keep an eye on Di?
Had she stopped writing letters to him? If she did, was it because that evil man was back home at the Castle...?
The hut in the forest...the General had come there, saying he sensed human presence...but Lord Arnav had seen him lean over the place where Kushi lay asleep...the General had come there for her...
Anger and betrayal exploded within him and he shuffled about where he stood, breathing hard to calm himself for he could not let the beast come and halt his reasoning.
The quadrille at the ballroom dance.
Before Kushi had twirled into his own arms, she had to dance with the General. He was certain he had seen them talking. They wouldn't have talked if they didn't know each other. It was a public gathering and though they wore masks, it was introduced that he was Di's husband and she was the Gupta's youngest daughter...so they must have known each other's identity while dancing!
He felt the world crashing upon him and his eyes blurred with fresh tears...
He had been willing to give himself to her, to accept her as his own...how could you do this, Kushi? How could you play with me so heartlessly...
Every word you said and every encounter we had...was it your way of getting closer to the General through me?
Was this night's marriage also their plan to get closer? No, he'd seen genuine love in Akash's eyes and Payal...was Payal involved? Was the entire family involved?
Master Gupta was found unconscious at the ball, the very day when Akash first proposed to Payal...was it all a ploy to a bigger defeat?
He shivered, not out of cold but out of unquenchable anger.
He was going mad, he was blind with madness and he knew it...the way he was reasoning was too exaggerated for if there was any truth to what he was suspicious of, then his entire existence was just a big lie and would have meant nothing after all these years...
Too weak to reason anymore, he fell to the ground, feeling the cold winds again as they teased mercilessly upon his nakedness and hurting ...
Why is this happening to us, Di....tears rolled down...why is it that you and I are only worthy of pain in this life...we have lost everything once and we are losing everything now.
He lay on the ground, pressing his pale cheek to the cold ground...
Curling up, his arms around his knees that were brought closer to his chest , he lay weeping like a child in a motherless womb...
Amma...he breathed out, I have no strength...I don't think I can keep Di safe anymore...
Chotey! His mother's voice called out in the darkness of his mind.
"Amma?" he sat up, dried tears on his cheek as he looked around the forest doubtfully. There was no sign of anyone but he stood up and frowned into the darkness, trying to make sure that there was no one there.
He knew he was only hallucinating for his mother was long gone, never to come back...
His heart sank and he looked away.
And that was when his eyes fell on the footprint in the mud.
Not the one made by the beast in him but by another of which he was familiar...
It was not a fresh print but he was certain the print was made quite recently.
He was transforming again, Lord Arnav realized, the General was transforming again! That one night in the forest when he'd seen him had only been the beginning...
Determination lit in his eyes and he frowned at the feeble imprint on the ground, I cannot trust him with my Di. No, not anymore. He will do away with Di if he has any desires to get to Kushi...
And Kushi? He would have to deal with Kushi personally.
The only person that stood between them was Di. If he could place himself in such a way as to substitute the focus that was on his Di to him...
There was only one thing he could do. Bind Kushi to him.
Bind her to him in such a way that she would not be free to do as she pleased ever again. Bind her to him so that the General would know he could play no more games...
And there was only one thing that Kushi faithfully believed in and which she would be scared to counter: Rituals.
Lord Arnav stood up and clenched his fists, If he wants to get to Di or Kushi, he will have to get through me first...
Yet, in some comments, how clearly I hear the echo of doubt behind a written assurance of trust. My dear readers, if only you knew how brilliantly this Storm will be steered from its present devastation to the future glory...Till this chapter I was rewriting the IPK plot. From the next chapter begins Aquiline's version of the IPK plot...
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