Chapter 12

*

He was being shaken by the collar. He was being shouted at. He was being slapped. He had just been saved from suicide by the girl he had come to love. By the girl who he had betrayed in the worst possible way. He was profusely apologizing. And he was overwhelmed with feelings.

It was a situation Arnav Singh Raizada would have never been caught dead in a mere year ago.

But then he had met Khushi.

And he could ignore happiness no longer when it was staring at him in the face.

He had tried to.

He had done everything humanely and inhumanely possible to get it out of the way.

But it had been persistent. It had absolutely insisted for him to let it in.

So he had relented.

And so everything had changed.

...

He looked at her moving mouth, memorizing the way her lips drew back against her teeth in a strangled growl. He looked at her face, at the little pimple that was starting to grow right above her left eyebrow. At the way her eyes were brimming with tears. At the way she was still shouting at him. Affection gushed into his heart as his eyes softened fondly at the woman he loved.

"Aap kaise humari naam lesakte hai? Itna sab kuch hojane ki baad?"

"Khushi, meine kaha na. I'm sorry. Lekin mein jantihu ki yeh mamuli shaabdh kuch bhi nahi -"

"Hum ab usske bath nahi karrahehai! Hum abhike baath karrahe hai! Aapki himmat kaise huyi humko chorkar - humari saath aise -"

"Tumhari saath kya, Khushi?"

"Aap - yeh! Yeh sab! Aap kaise yeh - marne ka aapko bohut shok hai, na? Toh mariye!"

She pushed him again, her hair whipping across her face. Yet her hands were clutching fistfuls of his shirt, refusing to let him go.

"So let me. Chordo mujhe."

"Humne chor diya tha. Par aapne itni der laga di ki -"

"Ki kya, Khushi? Tumne mujhe firse roka kyun? Mein jiyu ya maru, tumhe kya fadak parta hai??"

She looked at him angrily, her face flushed. This was hardly the time to play this game - their game. And how could he still not see it?

"Aap pehle bataiye ki aap aise kaise ja sakte-"

"Tum kaise mujhe jaane diya? Kyun chordiya mujhe?"

She gaped at him, furious. How dare he try to turn the tables?

"Toh kya huwa? Aap ko kya fadak padta hai ki mein aapko chordu ya nahin? Aur humne chordiya, toh aap aapne aap ko mardalenge?"

"Not again, Khushi! Meine kahana, mujhe fadak padta hai!"

"Kyun? Kyun aapko fadak padta hai? Agar fadak parta hai toh kyun aapne mujhe ek baar bhi nahi poocha, ki Khushi, kya woh aadmi saach kahrahihe, kya tumne wakei mein -"

"Aur tum? Why didn't you fight back, dammit? Why didn't you say something?"

"Humne koshish kiya tha! Par aapne hume gharse bahar nikal diyatha! Aur hum aapni jijike khushi ki liye kuch bhi karsakti -"

"Aur vahi Jijine -"

He bit back the retort with great effort. How could he tell her that the sister she had done so much for had broken off her wedding? She would be devastated. And she would think it was all her fault. No, he couldn't do that to her. Not now. In time, he supposed, everything would come out.

Khushi waited for him to finish his sentence, her rage briefly subdued as dread crept into her stomach.

"Vahi Jijine kya? Kya huwa? Bataiye na!"

"Nothing. I don't have to answer to you, Khushi Kumari Gupta."

He saw a flash of hurt flicker across her face as she slackened her grip on him, her fiery strength weakening at his words. But he had no choice. He had to distract her.

And you picked this to distract her with?

She shook as she finally let go of him, and he peered at her face as she gazed at the crumpled spot on his shirt she had been holding on to as dearly as though her life depended on it.

"Hum jaante hai," she began shakily. "Aapko mujhe jawab deneki koi zaroorat -"

She was rendered silent as with one long stride, he pulled her into his arms and squashed her into his chest.

*

It felt warm and comfortable, just like before when he had rescued her from Shyam. She fit snugly into him, and she shifted her head towards the crook of his neck, her wet eyelashes fluttering against his bare skin. He felt her taking deep, calming breaths as she nestled in closer, inhaling him.

His arms tightened around her as he buried his face in her hair. She felt his breathing grow ragged and hitched as he trembled, his head on her shoulder. His breath tickled her ear, and she closed her eyes, feeling at peace.

This felt right.

She belonged here.

And he knew he would always be hers to belong.

*

Bleeding love.

That's what his heart was doing.

She felt the unsaid things that were seeping from it.

And then came the moment Khushi would never forget when he broke down in her arms.

"I'm sorry Khushi! Mujhe maaf kardo! Please!"

His violent sobs pierced her heart as they echoed in the night, the wails slightly muffled as he pressed her mouth into her hair. He racked with them as she remained crushed against him, aghast, enveloped within his body. He felt his knees buckling, and leaned onto her, holding her even more tightly. She felt him surface, gasping for breath, shaking his head against her shoulder, his wet face grazing her collarbones. She didn't know what was happening; it was all too unfamiliar, too unknown a territory - and yet it wasn't. She knew this side of him. She had seen it too many times.

His sobs wrecked her, destroyed her - it was worse than a wounded animal's howl - she wanted it to stop, it was hurting him, it was hurting her -

"Arnavji -"

"Khushi mein tumhari bina kuch nahi hu! Kuch nahi!"

She froze.

The words had come and gone, but had she really heard them?

Had he really said -? No, no.

No.

Don't say any more, Arnavji.

Please.

For that will be my undoing.

My heart can't take anymore.

I don't know what to feel.

I'm scared of feeling, Arnavji.

Please don't say anything. Please.

But he couldn't listen to her thoughts. He didn't want to know why she stiffened against him. All he knew was that he had to tell her. He had to tell her why. He would tell her the thing he had gone to tell her that night on the terrace. Nothing mattered anymore.

Aaj mein Khushiko batadungi, ki mujhe fadak kiyu parta hai.

"Jab mein tumhe uske saath dekha toh - toh mujhe laaga - mujhe laage meine tumko kho diya," he said softly, his voice wavering as he attempted in vain to fight his tears.

He had never done this before. It was always Di who had been the sole witness to his tears, to his breakdowns. It was in Di's lap that he would allow himself to be thisvulnerable, this exposed. But he was here, and he was laying down his feelings, bare for her to see. No disguises, no lies, no cover ups. He refused to be afraid, he refused to hide. He was not going to run away from her again. Never again would he let her go. He imagined himself laying his head down on Khushi's lap, staring quietly into her eyes while she caressed his face. He did not cringe at the thought.

He ached for it. He ached for her.

"Mujhe laaga tum usko pyaar karti ho, and I lost control - I lost control, Khushi."

She bit her lip, tears pouring down her face as she restrained herself from throwing her arms around him. His words echoed in her head.

Mujhe laaga tum usko pyaar karti ho.

How? How did - why did - how? Why is he so stupid?? Hai Devi Maiyya!

"Mein daar gaya tha Khushi. I had never felt this way before. Tumhe khoneka daar mujhe pagal - it didn't let me think, dammit! I didn't think. I couldn't." His voice was pleading, begging her to understand him, understand his plight. Begging her again to see how goddamn sorry he was.

Her hands which had been pressed flatly against his chest balled into fists as she clutched fistfuls of his shirt once more, her resolve weakening as she tried desperately to hold it back, to deafen her heart, to defy it. She trembled as he spoke again, his moist breath and wet lips moving against her neck.

"Meine tab sabh kuch kho diya tha. Mujhe laaga tum mujko chorke chali gayi. Door, bohat door. Mujhe laaga tum kabhi wapas nahi aogi."

He raised his head, and she felt the dampness on her shoulder cool on her skin as the air caressed the spot he had been crying on. She looked up at him for the first time since his outburst, almost fearful of what she would find; her gaze was shy, reluctant, and unwilling, but it was searching, it was hoping.

Arnav stared back at her, his face drenched in snot and tears, his eyes a bloody red, his cheeks shining with salty wetness. She couldn't understand his expression. There were too many feelings swirling in it. But whatever she saw, it set her heart thudding off furiously, threatening to burst forth from its cage - it lifted her spirits and the corners of her mouth, it tugged playfully at her hair and made the city lights and the stars above sparkle, and it made her want to fly.

"Khushi," he choked.

"Hmm."

"Say something, dammit."

She frowned, deep in thought. She didn't trust herself to speak. She needed to calm down, pacify the racing mechanism which was pumping blood through her veins and arteries at a dangerously high pace. If she spoke now, she couldn't be held accountable for her words. She wasn't in the right mind. She was too giddy. She felt too faint. She was sure her voice would be no more than a squeak -

"Khushi, please."

She looked back at him, moving from one bloodshot eye to the other, scanning them, trying to see through them, see the lie that would break this illusion once and for all. But she saw none.

Something snapped inside her as she made up her mind, deciding to take the leap.

He had done the unthinkable, but he had repented.

Whether it was by ruining his own silk pyjamas with his tears, or by almost confessing his feelings - whatever it was, Khushi didn't know.

And she didn't care.

Because it was enough.

She knew she would never forgive him for doing what he did. She knew he knew that.

It had been a mistake. A terrible one. An inhumane one.

Yet it made him human.

It made him "perfectly imperfect," as her friend Nameera would have said.

To err is human. Regardless of the err.

But whatever it was, it did not matter anymore.

She wanted to move on, to touch this happiness, this hope that had sprung up inside her, chasing the darkness away. It was the most beautiful thing, and she wanted it. Not for her family, not for anyone else - she wanted it for her. She wanted it with him. And she wanted him to see how beautiful it was.

Slowly, she reached up around his neck, pulling him in until their noses touched. She could see every tear that clung to his eyelashes, every intricate pattern in his overgrown stubble. His eyes were questioning her, burning for her to say something,anything. She felt him shiver beneath her fingers as her hands knotted themselves in his hair.

"Aap kaise soch liya ki hum usko pyar karthihai?" she asked softly, her breath fanning his face.

His gaze was wide and probing as he looked at her, his ears perking as his insides screamed for her to continue.

"Kaise nahi dekha ki - humari dil ke baath - aapne kaise nahi dekha ki hum -"

"Tum-?" he asked huskily, his eyes darkening, his breath quickening.

Khushi looked away, blushing as his grip on her waist tightened.

"Nahi. Aap pehle bataiye."

"Kya batau?"

"Aapko acchise pata hai hum kya sunna chahtihai."

"Nahi pata."

"Toh fir hum jo poochenge woh aap - aap jawab denge," she said lamely, her cheeks burning crimson.

"Theek hai. Poocho."

A flash of yellow and orange; the clinking of bangles.

"Kya aapne humari liye chudiyaan kharidethi?"

"Ha. Tumhare liye chudiyaan meinehi kharidethi."

"Nahi. Hum nahi kar sakte."

"Kyun?"

Because it was just too hard. She finally understood why she had asked that question first that night. It had seemed easier, way easier, than asking why. 'Why' for every little thing he did.

"Kyunki aap humari saval jaantihai."

"Mujhe nahi pata. Tum poochlo."

She glared at him, irritated at the smug expression dancing in his eyes.

He thinks I won't do it! Kya samajti hai aapne aapko?

"Theek hai."

He stared at her, baffled, blinking back in surprise.

"Aapne humari liye chudiyaan kyun kharidi?"

Astonishment clouded his face as he gazed at her in wonder. Memories, memories of that beautiful night flooded his mind as he struggled to not drown in their sweetness.

"Kya woh saab wakei mein chaar din pehle huwata?" he asked dazedly, more to himself than to her.

She nodded, lowering her eyes.

But it seems so long ago. So very long ago. And she had asked me the same question.

The same question.

And his tear-stained face pulled into a goofy grin.

*

She felt her face tilting upwards as he lifted her chin, his fingers gentle and confident. Her lips quivered as she recognized his gaze. Her heart soared as she remembered that gaze. Her insides squirmed and the pain between her legs throbbed with life as she feltthat gaze.

It was unmistakably there.

It was back.

"Kyun ki."

She found herself holding her breath as he took her hand, and still looking deeply into her eyes, placed it on his heart.

DHAK DHAK- DHAK DHAK.. DHAK DHAK. DHAK DHAK-DHAK DHAK DHAKDHAKDHAKDHAK-

He was breathless as he let his forehead rest on hers.

"Khushi."

"Ha," she breathed.

"Mein," he whispered slowly, his breath blowing a few strands of her hair into her eyes.

She clenched her fists, her skin prickling as she fought to keep her drumming heart in control.

"I love you,"

The world stopped. Her eyes sought his, happiness sparkling in them as the tears threatened to spill.

"-nahi bolungi."

He smirked at her expression as she swatted him on the arm, then held her wrist in an iron lock grip as his other hand pressed her palm more tightly against his heart.

"Khushi, look at me."

Laad Governor.

"Khushi."

"Kya."

"Ab tum bolo."

"Nahi -"

The words had hardly left her lips when he swooped in to kiss her on the cheek. This time it was longer, sensual - and it was making her knees give way.

"Arnavji," she moaned.

"Hmm."

"Hum -"

"Hmmm?" he prodded, nuzzling her neck.

"Nahi bol sakte," she sighed, giving in.

"Khushi," he whispered, kissing her ear.

"Hmm?"

"Mere saath bolo. I -"

"I,"

"Love -"

"Lo-Love-"

"You."

"You."

His heart stilled as she whispered the last word, and she watched transfixed as his face broke into the happiest smile she had ever seen.

Her tongue played with Nahi bolsakti, nahi bolsakti, but the words died forever in her mouth as he pulled her into his arms once more, and then their hearts united, and beat as one.

*

They found them clinging to each other on the terrace wall, their arms wrapped tight around each other as if to shoo off the first person who would even think of trying to pry them apart. Anjali's eyes widened as she took in the sight, her heart thudding fearfully; she stepped forward, her intention of getting her brother and Khushiji down from their dangerous disposition on the wall quite apparent in her face.

"Cho -"

"Ssshhh!" said Nani quietly, shaking her head. Her granddaughter looked back at her, torn between her desire to interfere for their own safety, and to let them be. Nani's eyes softened as she held her hand tightly, squeezing it to communicate feelings Anjali already knew.

He would never let anything bad happen to her ever again.

And neither would she.

Grandmother and granddaughter led the way downstairs, the rest of the family following in their wake, looking back again and again, just to catch another glimpse of the fierce love they had just witnessed.

There was so much to sort out. What was true, what was not? What was right? What had happened to Shyam? What about the broken marriage? There were just so many questions. Only Devi Maiyya knew just how much they wanted their answers. But seeing them together had been oddly comforting; it had filled their lost hearts, given them a little hope, a little more patience.

And for now, the rest could wait.

*

To the gods above, submission was an interesting behaviour to observe among dominant mortal males. They watched pleased as the man they had despised for too long repented for his mistakes in the arms of a girl ten years younger than him, the girl he had abused countless times before. They cheered as his heart sought solace with hers, their heartbeats hating each other, yet quite unable to beat without the other. They cheered as they came together in unison. He was the lion in his pride, and he had found the lioness that would match him in temper and passion, in health and sickness, in love and war. He had found her. He had found his love, his Khushi. They had known he would. And now he knew he had.

They finally reclined back into their godly seats, massaging their necks from all the craning they had been doing.

It had been a very long week.

Indeed.

*

22 pages!
if you're reading this, I SALUTE YOU SIR!
oops
i meant madame! hehe
do guys ever come here?
anyway
thank you for sticking with this till the end
i love you, and i've had an amazing time writing this!
and i hope you'll enjoy it and not curse at me for TOTALLY wasting your time :P
i did try to make the ending ... well, suit the situation and the characters AND make it interesting.
having none of the talent that some of my dear fellow writers have, i couldnt make it short and have all that in there.
and yes, i know. no smutness. to those who are wondering.
there were no warning sings, remember? :P
i know. i'm terrible. i made Khushi and Shyam get all intimate and Khushi and Arnav have wordplay :P
PLEASE comment and PM and like as much as you can with feedback, i would love to know your thoughts!
and yes. i know. hindi. i massacred it.
cheers!

cmileyfreaky2012-02-26 00:16:55