Chapter 35

Arnav looked at Khushi.

She was playing with the food on her plate, her eyes lowered.

"Titliyaa, kaa hua? Why are you not eating, Nandkisore?" Buaji asked, her eyes round with worry.

"I am not hungry, Buaji," Khushi smiled. "I need to go to the shop now." She got up from her seat with a smile at everyone except Arnav and went off to wash her hands.

Arnav sighed.

She was avoiding him. She was hurting and was trying to pretend that he did not exist. How would she react when she knew the whole truth... the forced marriage, the terrible six months, the kidnapping, Dadi, the decision to remarry, his no-show at their wedding?

Arnav flipped the pages of the file in his hand. It held all the details of Anurag Mallik and his fortune or the lack of it.

The debts outnumbered his possessions. He was sinking... fast. Arnav drew in a deep breath. It was time to help speed up the process. He looked at the file with determined eyes. It was time to pay back Anurag Mallik for all his excesses against his family and Sunehri. He called Aman to set his plans in action.

Khushi watched Munna make jalebi, the orange-red coils dancing in the hot oil. She had made mountains of jalebi in the past, erected a new Mount Everest each time Arnavji had hurt her. But that was over now. All the jalebi in the world could not sop up the ocean of pain swirling inside her heart. If only I had died along with my Amma & Babuji in the accident!... she thought. Or when I had fallen from the steps. I would have been spared so much heartache...

"Khushi," came his soft call.

Khushi jerked around. Arnavji was standing at the door of Satwik Mishtan Bhandaar.

Her eyes wide in apprehension, Khushi stood where she was, her legs refusing to carry her forward or away. The muscles of her stomach cramped, sending shivers of pain to travel all over her body.

"Arnav Bhaiyya, acha hua aap aa gaye," Munna smiled. "I am going to deliver the jalebis across town and Krishna will return only by evening. Now Khushi didi won't be alone."

"I will be here," Arnav smiled at the boy who lifted a big carton on to his shoulders and left the shed.

Arnav shut the door after him.

"Why did you shut the door?" Khushi's tongue finally worked.

"We need to talk," he said softly.

"We can talk at home," Khushi retorted.

"You run away when I close to you. You look away if I look at you," he accused her.

Khushi did not try to refute him. She turned her head away.

Suddenly she felt something touch her throat and looked up at his grim face in shock. His fingers were tying something at her nape.

Khushi tried to free herself, fight him. She twisted and turned her body in panic, but there was no more need to resist him. His task was done.

She looked at his pallid face, her own ashen. She looked down at her chest. A mangalsutra hung there.

Khushi fell back against him as though it were a snake coiled around her collar. As she gasped for breath, she felt his fingers smear sindoor in the parting on her forehead.

Khushi tried to move away from him, but he held on tight, his arms around her waist, knowing that she may black out.

"Chodiye hamein," Khushi whimpered.

"Khushi... Sshhh..." he tried to calm her as his arms hauled her closer to him.

Khushi struggled for a while till her head spun and her body tired of the fight. She sagged, letting his arms hold her up.

He turned her to stand in his arms, her head against his neck, her fingers clutching the soft fabric of his t-shirt.

They stood immobile for long moments, their hearts thudding against each other. Slowly hot tears leaked from Khushi's eyes and wet his t-shirt.

"Khushi," he whispered, his fingers moving against her scalp to comfort her. His other hand patted her back.

The silent tears soon turned in to gusty sobs. Arnav listened to and felt the outpouring of grief with a heavy heart. In between her attempts to stem her tears and draw breath, she whispered, "I shamed them... after they took me in... I shamed them."

"Khushi," he murmured.

"I should have...refused to marry you. Jiji... poor Jiji... her marriage... broken again... my Buaji, Amma, Babuji... how they cried that night..."

"Khushi," his heart wept with hers.

"Ten years of care and love... and I repaid them... with humiliation and tears," she wept, her body trembling with anguish.

"Khushi, don't cry," he said in a low voice. "You will fall sick."

Khushi lifted her head. The sight of her devastated face and wet cheeks broke his heart.

"Why? Why did you do it?" she asked, her voice laced with tears.

"I... I saw Shyam and you on the terrace... hugging," he said.

She drew in a sharp breath, shocked.

"He said he loved you...

...that he didn't love Di.

And you asked him to leave her," Arnav whispered against the wet, soft skin of her cheek.

"I was challenging him... because I knew he would never leave Di or her money," Khushi said.

"There was a note written in lipstick on the mirror on the landing, asking me to meet you on the terrace.

That is, I thought you had written it. I went up to meet you...and it was he who appeared behind me."

Arnav smoothed her hair away from her wet face.

"He caught me...his arms were so strong, Arnavji. I tried to struggle once the shock wore off, but I couldn't push him away. I couldn't move even an inch," Khushi explained.

"He told me that you loved each other, threatened to tell a pregnant Di that he was going to leave her for you..." Arnav continued.

Khushi exclaimed, "The liar, the dhokebaaz..."

"Yes, he tricked all of us. Di, the Raizadas, the Guptas, you," Arnav said.

"Why didn't you ask me for the truth?" Khushi demanded.

Arnav shook his head, his face carrying lines of pain, "I was... scared... of your answer. What if you had said that you loved him?"

"So you assumed that I loved him and proceeded to make my life hell for six months?" Khushi did not mince words.

"Yes...I suppose," Arnav admitted. "I am sorry, Khushi."

Khushi caught him by the neck of his t-shirt and hauled him closer to her. "Did you really think that I could smile at you, let you touch me and feel dhak dhak and acidity when you came close to me when I was in love with Shyam Manohar Jha?"

Arnav parted his lips to reply, but had nothing to say. He stood with his mouth open. When put in such words, his actions seemed very impetuous, rash.

Khushi shook him. "You thought that I could love such a... ghatiya animal?" she asked. "You thought I could cheat Anjaliji? That I could feel anything other than disgust for that immoral, lecherous snake?"

"Khushi..."

"You thought I was pining for him...when I was dying for you," she shook him. "...when I couldn't sleep for thinking of you...when my eyes were searching for a glimpse of you...when being in the same room as you sent my heart beating like a drum...when a touch of yours could make me forget my name... You thought that I was thinking of him? How dare you? How could you?" she tried to rattle his bones.

Arnav pulled her in to his arms and crushed her against his hard chest.

"I love you, Khushi. More than life. More than my next breath," he whispered in to her ears, her hair.

Khushi struggled to free herself but he held her tighter. Sighing she gave up the fight and hugged him in return, running her hands over his back, relishing the feel of his strong muscles through his t-shirt.

She trembled, "Arnavji, how could he kidnap you? The ungrateful crook! After living off you for years..." Tears dripped down her cheeks.

"Sshh...don't cry, Khushi. It is over... and I had my own guardian angel to save me," Arnav smiled, cupping her sweet face in his hands.

Khushi looked crossly in to his face, pouting at him for making light of such a grave situation. "How I missed you, Arnavji, when you were gone," she whispered.

"Me too, Khushi. Me too. As long as you are with me, Khushi, no one can hurt me," Arnav said softly, running a loving finger down her cheek.

"Poor Anjaliji! How she cried that day! Arnavji, he didn't return after you threw him out, did he?" Khushi frowned.

"No," Arnav lied.

Khushi heaved a sigh of relief. "Devi Maiyya ki jai ho!" she said, her hands folded in prayer.

Then she looked down at her mangalsutra.

"Arnavji," she said slowly, her voice low. "Our six months are over, arent they? Then how can I wear your mangalsutra now?"

Arnav swallowed at the look of disappointment on her face.

"Aap ko pata he, a few weeks back I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking that something was missing, that I had forgotten to wear some piece of jewellery. I must have been thinking of my mangalsutra," she said.

She left a silent, stricken Arnav and walked away to look at her maang in the small mirror on the wall. Blood red sindoor adorned her maang. She turned to Arnav.

"Arnavji, we have to return to Gomti Sadan now," she informed him.

He nodded.

She walked to him and stood with her back to him. She drew her hair to fall over her shoulders.

"You untie it. I... I..." Khushi's voice faltered.

With trembling fingers, Arnav untied the chain and put it in to his pocket.

She turned around for him to clear her maang.

He took her to the tap, wet his hanky and wiped away the sindoor. Khushi stood, her eyes shut.

They walked back to Gomti Sadan together, their thoughts in the past.