Chapter 12

Chapter 10

A New Tommorow

Arnav ji was so cool today. He believed me. He said he wanted me in his life forever.

Even I want to be in his life forever. I want to be his wife forever.

I don't seem to have a way to express the multitude of happiness I am feeling after

that conversation of ours. Its getting so difficult for me to sleep right next him and not

hug him.

All my life I have watched the relatives' and neighbor's' daughters and daughter in laws

living their life with a husband, chose by their family, who seems to treat them as any

other person in the world. I had expected the same from my husband too.

In all my life I have never wanted to be in a place where I am not wanted. Getting the

same vibes of unwantedness from an arranged marriage I had always wanted to fall in

Love first and then get married with that person. I am so grateful to Devi Maiyya now

that I am not married to NK. I don't know how I missed all the signs of his betrayal..

If now I look back into that phase of my life it seems both of us were never really

lovers. The unconditional love that should exist between two people was never between

us. We had never left an opportunity to misjudge each other. The flaws with which

each of us came was never accepted by the other, tolerated but never accepted.

Well, we didn't just share a platonic relationship. We were what we call as friends with

benefits. I had kind of gotten used to his company. It never really struck me that we

were just amusing ourselves with each other's company and nothing more.

I turn on to my left side and watch Arnavji sleeping like a baby. He looks so cute

when he is asleep. I hope he has accepted me whole heartedly with my past. Well he

did say that this marriage is forever for him however I hope he is not in an illusion.

I don't want him to be with me coz he has tied the mangalsutra around my neck. I

want him to be with me coz he wants to be. Even though Arnavji has assured me

that he is really very fond of me and had given his heart away to me the instant

he saw my picture but all this seems to be too good to be true. My heart seems to

burst from all the overwhelming feelings I feel for this man. This Man, My Man.

I see a few strands of hair falling on his forehead and tickling him on the brows. His

gelled though looks chic but he looks really sexy without it. His ever present smirk

is just so killing. Even in sleep he seems to be smirking away at someone. In last two

I never actually got time to look at him closely. The room is just dimly light by the

moonlight. However I can still see the scar on his left brow. I touch it with my index

finger, feeling it under the tip. He seems to have sense my touch. I can see him

frowning. I instantly remove my finger. I keep gazing at him without touching him this

time. His lashes so long and curly make me jealous. I wish I had lashes like those. His

facial hair glistening in the moonlight. His symmetrical features seems to be carved

out. He is ruggedly handsome. Appreciating his looks in this way makes me feel like a

school girl with a massive crush on a senior. Well I do have a crush on him, but I

wonder if its just a crush or something more. Hey Devi Maiyya I want it so much, to

be more. He had so easily let me know of his heart's desire. How will I ever tell him

how I feel about him. Even while thinking about him, I can feel warmth travelling from

my neck towards my cheek. I am sure I am blushing full-fledged right now. O How I

wish to abandon all my shyness and gather him in my arms.

Seems like the dormant teenage hormones are getting active. I really need to stop my

thoughts from wandering in the restricted zone(for now, adds my mind). Hence I force

myself to get the much needed sleep.

Tomorrow will be the actual start of my marriage. This thought is the last one on my

mind before sleep takes over me.