Chapter 2

Darmiyaan…

Part 2

Lavanya delicately brushed her finger through the luscious locks of her slumbering husband, Arnav Singh Raizada. His presence commanded attention and respect in every room he entered, yet now he lay beside her, vulnerable and peaceful like a baby. His usually stern features softened in the tranquillity of his dreams. Lavanya carefully withdrew from their bed, making her way to the half terrace adjacent to their room. The private pool was awash with a luminous glow, as the clear night sky promised a stunning view of the moon and stars. Lavanya counted herself fortunate that their home was far away from the light pollution of Delhi, which made sure you couldn't see a single star in the sky. But the posh neighbourhood was developed in a vast, green area. So lesser homes and people meant more peace and a beautiful sky. 

Though the sky was never as beautiful as it was when she and Arnav had visited Death Valley in the states, they had gone stargazing on Christmas Eve, and Lavanya nearly cried at the faint outline of the Milky Way. Arnav, too, was rendered speechless by the splendour of the star-studded sky, and Lavanya had observed a solitary tear rolling down his cheek. In that instant, she had longed to speak to him, but somehow the moment felt immensely personal, so she chose to remain silent. But when Arnav didn't talk for another two hours and instead kept gazing at the sky with a bit of moisture still in his eyes, Lavanya couldn't help but ask. 

"What's wrong, Arnav?" 

He told her he didn't know. That his heart felt heavy sitting there, and he was just overwhelmed. A smiling Lavanya had sat next to him and told her she, too, was taken aback by the powerful sight of the stars. That it was a normal feeling to have when encountering such magical things, and they had spent the night holding hands under the transparent dome. 

That was her favourite memory of Arnav. That was the most vulnerable she had ever seen him. 

She had also wished for that kind of intimacy today, especially when her mind refused to stop thinking about Khushi. 

Lavanya reminisced about the time when she discovered that Khushi Gupta, whom she had dubbed Chamkeeli for her glittering attire, was appointed to groom her into becoming an ideal Raizada daughter-in-law. This revelation left Lavanya absolutely livid. However, if anyone was more infuriated than her, it was perhaps Arnav, who displayed childlike tantrums in his endeavours to expel Khushi from Shantivan. 

At first, Lavanya took pleasure in Arnav's cutting remarks that left Khushi either seething with anger or heartbroken. However, with time, Lavanya came to appreciate Khushi's efforts to assist her in earnest. Despite Arnav's incessant criticism of her every move, Khushi remained dedicated to her job. When Khushi fibbed to Naniji about losing her treasured pet goat to spare Lavanya from embarrassment, Lavanya recognized the actual depth of their friendship. Khushi had become an invaluable companion, so much so that Lavanya felt compelled to shield her from Arnav's outbursts at times.

Lavanya couldn't help but chuckle as she dipped her feet into the tranquil pool, the memories and nostalgia flooding back unexpectedly. Khushi truly lived up to her name, bringing radiance and laughter to Shantivan. Hours would fly by as they gossiped, indulged in Khushi's delectable jalebis, and savoured her tales for every occasion. Khushi would prance around the house like an exuberant child, coaxing everyone to join in her quirky antics and provoking fits of laughter. Then, as evening approached and Arnav returned from work, the atmosphere would shift. Her remaining hours for the day were spent either hiding from him or plotting to disrupt his peace. There was no middle ground.

Occasionally, Lavanya found Arnav's behaviour perplexing. He professed to hate Khushi's presence, yet he would always turn up wherever she was. Sometimes, Lavanya was convinced that Arnav deliberately instigated fights with Khushi instead of simply ignoring her. Their exchanges were often acrimonious, prompting Anjali Di to liken them to Tom and Jerry. Lavanya, however, begged to differ. Tom and Jerry's antics were harmless, whereas Arnav and Khushi seemed to be on the verge of killing each other most of the time.

Did they really hate each other that intensely? 

Lavanya pondered this question as she sifted through her recollections, searching for instances that were two years old. Yes, it indeed appeared as if they harboured an intense dislike for each other, but didn't they also seek excuses to be in each other's company? Lavanya recalled the time when Khushi had consumed Arnav's thoughts. He straight up didn't talk about anything else but her. Her gaudy attire, her middle-class values, her vexing mannerisms, and her Lucknowi dialect. It was all about her, and only her...

Khushi had left their lives as abruptly as she had entered it. She packed her bags and left after their engagement. Shantivan and its inhabitants didn't realize just how accustomed they had grown to Khushi. Naniji cried when Khushi didn't reach her room with two cups of tea to chat with her on the first day without her. Anjali di had been grumpy the entire day as if a family member had gone away. Even mamiji, who wasn't Khushi's most prominent fan, said the house felt empty without her running around. Lavanya agreed with all of them. She, too, missed her friend dearly. 

The one person who remained silent about Khushi's departure was Arnav. In fact, upon reflection, Lavanya realized that he had grown even quieter than usual after she left. Lavanya had noticed subtle changes in Arnav's demeanour whenever anyone spoke about Khushi (which was often). At the mention of her name, his hands would momentarily stop moving before he plunged back into his work. He didn't engage in Naniji's conversations about "Khushi Bitiya." Still, Lavanya had noticed that he listened to Nani's anecdotes about her with rapt attention and refused to leave the table until Naniji had finished speaking. Lavanya had once seen him scold Hari Prakash when he was taking away the wind chimes Khushi had made for Anjali di. He was aloof during the wedding preparation, and although he had said it was an office workload, Lavanya suspected that it had something to do with Khushi. 

She tried to understand what was going on with Arnav back then. Was he missing Khushi as a source to vent his frustration? Or he, too, was simply under the spell of an enigmatic miss Gupta like the rest of the Raizada clan? Much to her surprise, Lavanya realized that a small part of her was glad she was gone. The small part that believed she had hawked too much of ASR's attention without so much as lifting a finger. The part which couldn't help but notice that he was always present when nani or di called Khushi, even though he never spoke to her. 

Lavanya had been patient through those doubts, and it had been duly rewarded. Much to her relief, the Raizada household had gradually moved on from Khushi. The once frequent phone calls grew distant and now dwindled to a complete halt. Even Naniji and Anjali ji no longer brought up Khushi in their conversations randomly. Occasionally, Lavanya felt the urge to reach out and talk to her former friend. But, her self-centred nature restrained her. Whether it was fueled by animosity or not, Lavanya recognized that any mention of Khushi was enough to stir an unpalatable response in Arnav, and she despised that.

Why couldn't you love me as passionately as you hated her, ASR? 

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And just like always, the hollowing feeling left Lavanya a few days later. She was back again in her happy cocoon, filled with Arnav's love and care. But their happy bubble was not entirely impenetrable. Nani's incessant demands for a great-grandchild presented a new challenge for the couple. Lavanya shuddered at the thought of disappointing the matriarch by revealing their decision not to have children, ever. Arnav had suggested they simply tell Nani and be done with it, but Lavanya couldn't bear the thought of breaking the old woman's heart. They would find a way to deal with it later. For now, Lavanya was content with Adira, their six-month-old darling who had begun to recognize their scent and would often reward them with a happy grin.

Khushi Kumari Gupta was the farthest thing from her mind. Still, on one random day, all the memories came rushing back when Lavanya and Arnav headed out to a late lunch and saw Anjali di waiting for a cab outside Shantivan. 

"Di, what are you doing here?" Arnav rolled down the glasses as he asked Anjali.

"I've called a cab chhotey. I need to go to this temple to complete a ritual." Anjali answered, preparing herself for a lecture regarding the number of vehicles currently gathering dust in the garage while Anjali roamed in stuffed taxis. Well, she also looked ready to tell him that their big cars were a menace in the narrow lanes of Delhi, where Anjali often visited the old temples. 

And Lavanya's guess was bang on. Arnav did go on a rant, and Anjali had to agree reluctantly. She said she would take the driver and wished Arnav and  Lavanya a great evening. But by then, Arnav had already understood his sister's plan. She was coaxing them away before her taxi arrived. Two minutes and a few angry glances later, Anjali was sitting in the backseat with her Pooja ki thali. Lavanya looked at her poor sister-in-law through the rearview mirror, and they both smiled at Arnav's stubbornness.

"Where to?" Arnav asked, turning on the car. 

"Lakshmi Nagar" 

Lavanya didn't miss it as a flicker of emotion passed through Arnav's eyes, causing his hands to be momentarily still on the steering wheel. The next instant, he retrieved his aviators from his shirt pocket and donned them. He looked suave in his attire - a well-fitted, white button-down shirt paired with beige trousers and sneakers. Lavanya had jokingly commented that he was underdressed for the restaurant, but Arnav had merely smiled in response. As they headed towards Lakshmi Nagar, Lavanya couldn't help stealing glances at Arnav, glad they were going to the place where Khushi Kumari Gupta once lived, hoping to gauge how deeply the memories of her lingered in his mind.

As anticipated by Anjali, the car struggled to navigate through the narrow lanes, causing them to halt at a certain spot where Anjali informed them that the temple was within walking distance. Lavanya regretted not insisting on taking the next lane where they could have caught a glimpse of Khushi's house and observed its impact on her husband. He was already reticent, choosing not to argue with Anjali when she asked them to wait and that she'll be back in five. 

Lavanya stepped down from the car and was immediately greeted by the sight of grey clouds rolling in, an unusual sight for November. She closed her eyes and savoured the gentle breeze on her face, intensifying the chill in the Delhi air. Arnav, however, chose to stay in the car, suddenly absorbed in his phone and the latest news. Then, just as Lavanya was about to invite him to come out and enjoy the beautiful weather, she heard a voice and almost dropped her phone. 

"Hayye re NandKishore!" 

Lavanya turned on her heels to face Khushi's buaji, now engaged in a heated negotiation with a vegetable vendor. Although Lavanya had only met the lady a few times, she would not have recognized her had it not been for her distinctive catchphrase. The once well-rounded woman now appeared to be a mere shadow of her former self, having lost considerable weight and gained more wrinkles on her face than Lavanya could recall. Wasn't she supposed to be in Lucknow? And if buaji was here, then did it mean that Khushi...

"Bua ji!" Arnav's voice startled Lavanya. He seemed to have noticed her and was not stepping out of the SUV. 

The lady turned around and looked at them with perplexed eyes. As Arnav approached Lavanya's side, he removed his sunglasses, and the bewilderment in bua ji's eyes was instantly replaced by recognition. The woman's face lit up, her affectionate smile spreading as she approached them. Arnav briefly joined his palms in a gesture of greeting.

"Jeetey raho babua. How are you, bitiya?" She lovingly inquired. 

They exchanged pleasantries, and Lavanya caught Arnav's eyes briefly looking at the space behind bua ji's shoulder as if he expected to see someone there. Lavanya's heartbeat rose. 

Who are you looking for, Arnav? 

Arnav had inquired if she's been in Delhi for long, and she said she's been travelling back and forth between Delhi and Lucknow. She informed them that Payal's wedding had been fixed in Delhi, so she was here for good. 

"Come, let's wait for Anjali Bitiya inside the house," Buaji said as they informed her why they were suddenly in Lakshmi Nagar. Lavanya could see hesitation linger in his eyes as he declined the invitation to follow. Arnav's ears reddened, and he looked away furtively, unable to meet his wife's gaze. Lavanya knew him too well to overlook his sudden shift. After all, they had spent two years together. Arnav Singh Raizada, the epitome of confidence, was nervous.

"It looks like it's about to rain, babua. This unpredictable Delhi weather, I tell you. Come, let's go inside. Text Anjali that you're here. I'll also get to meet her." 

"Of course, Buaji," Lavanya said, cutting off any further objections from Arnav. Her heart was now pounding fiercely in her chest, and her stomach felt like she was plummeting from a great height. She longed to witness Arnav's reaction upon meeting Khushi. Lavanya had come to terms with the fact that she would never be able to discuss Arnav's complex relationship with Khushi. Still, if fate gave her the opportunity to uncover some answers, she wouldn't let it slip by.

And she had already received some of those answers. The sight of Arnav's eyes gave away the storm raging inside him, despite his seemingly steady walk as they approached the Gupta household. He stared at that door like a man possessed. Lavanya's heart shrank, for her husband hadn't even laid eyes on Khushi, his supposed enemy, yet his eyes betrayed the tumultuous emotions he was feeling. It was as if she had asked the universe questions she didn't want answers to and was now being punished for it. Was it too late to plead with him to turn around and flee from the place where Khushi Gupta even existed?

They entered the simple house as buaji asked them to sit while they waited for Anjali. Arnav kept his eyes firmly glued to the newspaper thrown on the centre table as buaji kept mumbling about Delhi's weather. They heard someone move in the kitchen, and this time, Lavanya saw him visibly stiffening at the realization that Khushi might walk out from the kitchen door at any moment. Lavanya could feel the blood rushing to her ears. Why won't her heart stop beating this loudly? Arnav's eyes were already on the door, glistening with something akin to hope. Lavanya had had enough. She felt sick. She'll ask Arnav to just leave. She knew he'd listen to her. 

Just as Lavanya was about to speak up, a sudden knock on the front door interrupted them. Anjali di, the reason for their visit, was standing there. 

Lavanya had anticipated an array of emotions from Anjali di upon meeting Madhumati Ji. Perhaps an exuberant embrace or an over-enthusiastic greeting. However, she could not have fathomed a subdued Anjali advancing at a snail's pace towards buaji, with tears streaming down her face. Initially, Madhumati had beamed upon seeing Anjali, but her expression turned solemn as Anjali set down her pooja thaal on the table. Finally, the two women embraced each other and broke down into inconsolable sobs. Not 'I'm happy to see you' kind of tears, but painful, gut-wrenching sobs. 

"I'm sorry, buaji; I couldn't come earlier." Anjali cried out as Madhu Mati patted her head lovingly. 

"It's okay, bitiya…" the old lady was struggling through her own tears.

Lavanya glanced at Arnav, who appeared equally puzzled. She hadn't even noticed that they had risen from their seats during the emotional outburst between di and buaji. Arnav's gaze shifted from Lavanya to something behind her shoulder, causing his face to turn white.

"Arnav, what…" Lavanya asked, but Arnav stumbled back as if he's seen a ghost. 

Lavanya turned around to see what had rendered Arnav speechless, and she came across the ever-beautiful face of Khushi Kumari Gupta. 

Her doe-like eyes held the innocence of the whole world within them, and her lips were curved into a smile, revealing her pearly whites. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders in a signature braid and parandi. She was resplendent in a sky-blue salwar kameez, indeed a sight to behold. 

It was one of the most beautiful pictures of Khushi Lavanya had ever seen. 

A picture decked with flowers and a diya lit underneath it. 

Lavanya's hand reached up on its own accord to clutch her heart as she realized what it meant. Her eyes struggled to keep the focus on the picture as her mind went into overdrive. Her mouth felt dry, and she felt a sudden onslaught of tears in her eyes. 

But then she heard Arnav behind her, he had said something, and the pain in his voice terrified her. Even before she turned around to face him, the single word that left his lips in a whisper had let her know that Arnav’s heart was broken beyond repair. 

"Khushi…."

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Looks like this will turn into a three or four shot series. Anyway, happy reading. Please do leave a comment.