Arnav was seated at his desk and diligently progressed through the heap of paperwork that seemed to magically multiply every time he entered his office. His thoughts remained fleeting at most, while on more than once occasion he had to reread a document or force himself to concentrate on its contents.
His attention was again drawn from the document by some activity at the door. Immediately his ire built, everyone knew to leave him alone, especially since he had no desire to indulge in superficial conversations. He lifted his gaze from the document, a reprimand already on the tip of his tongue,although he bit back on identifying the four individuals. An unsettling sensation started low in his gut as Aman, Akash and two officers stepped into his office. Their expressions were indication enough that whatever news they had to impart was not the good kind.
Arnav fixed Aman with a hard glare and demanded, “What is it?”
Aman for the first time appeared to hesitate and glanced at the officers for a moment, visibly preparing himself for whatever was to follow. Drawing in a deep breath he said, “The officers have come here to ask you to accompany them…” Aman started only to be cut short by Arnav’s “What the!”
Aman visibly steeled himself as he continued, “A body fitting Khushi’s description has been found. They need you to go down to the morgue to identify it.”
Everything seemed too loud as Arnav’s entire body went numb. There was a humming sound in his ears while his mind seemed to spin around three words: Khushi, body and morgue. No! Every cell in his being rebelled against it, against even the possibility. She couldn’t be, he would know if she was. He would have felt an emptiness take over in the region of his heart where, since her disappearance, only misery resided.
A tightness settled around his chest and breathing became difficult. His entire body seemed incapable of moving, as if a dead weight had descended on him and was pushing against him,holding him down.
“Oh God! Not again,” Aman said moving towards the desk, “I swear I’m going to keep a bottle of something here just in case.” He turned to Akash and said, “Go find out from Shukla what we have in the building, and make it a stiff measure of whatever.”
Akash for a moment appeared confused and then pushed past the officers to bolt down the stairs.
Everything seemed distant. The words uttered by the people around him. The events unfolding. His mind rejected it all. But it mostly rejected the fact that she could be dead, there was noway. His world would have ended, he would have know, felt it, he was certain of it. A hollowness settled in the region of his heart, it gave way to a smarting aching pain that could not be described. No! His brain kept shouting –repeating.
Something was being forced down this throat. He had no idea what it was, but it made the oddly comforting dark spots that had appeared in his vision dissipate. He knew his blood-sugar would have dropped with the shock, and yet he welcomed the oblivion that threatened to engulf him. He felt the burning sensation trickle down his throat and settle in his stomach, he could have told them it was the worst possible thing they could do, given the situation. The alcohol would only hasten his already lowering blood-sugar levels, and allow oblivion to reach up and swallow him faster. Only it didn’t. Belatedly he realised that they must have mixed it with some sugar-laced beverage.
Not a word was spoken as they drove to the morgue. Arnav looked out the window with unseeing eyes. His entire being revolted against what was happening, yet he felt powerless to do anything.
The building was stuffy. The stench of death hung in the air, possibly because the aircon system had failed, he had no idea, it simply added to the sick sensation he had in his stomach. There were others there as well, he had no idea whether they were there to claim bodies or identify bodies, but he could not fathom any other reason why someone would willingly enter such a place. Death had permeated the floors and the walls making one only too aware of what happened there.
Along with the others they were led to a desk, where the person occupying it looked him over for a moment before shrugging. It seemed odd though that those who worked with the dead almost appeared emotionally dead themselves. The irony was not lost on Arnav. While his world may have ended, these people saw and deal with people like him everyday.
The officer with them said something and the attendant nodded. He called out to one of the others and requested a bucket to be taken along with them to the viewing room. The man again addressed the officer and pointed down the passage as he spoke.
The officers followed the man’s directions and came to a halt in front of a door and turned to them. The senior officer said, “We have to warn you that the body was found on the bank of the Ymuna River. Decomposition has set in, which is why we will ask you to hold your breath before entering the room.”
Every word was torture as Arnav looked at the door, still disbelieving the possibility that Khushi might be on the other side. He felt Akash’s hand on his shoulder, a silent attempt to pass on courage, especially since only he and the officer would be permitted in the room. Steeling himself against it he nodded, drew in a deep breath and waited for them to open the door. The body lay on a gurney a sheet draped over the prone form.
Arnav’s feet seemed unwilling to move deeper into the room. He tried to swallow against the lump in his throat and completely forgot to hold his breath. A whiff of the rank stench that hung in the air was enough to make him gag and again hold his breath as nausea threatening to take hold. The officer took him by the arm and urged him forward until only a few meters separated them and the corpse. There the officer indicated for him to remain standing and handed Arnav the bucket, before moving to the side of the corpse with the undertaker. Arnav pinched his eyes shut, his mind unwilling to accept what was happening. The undertaker pulled the sheet away from the corpse’s face and called to him, “Mister Raizada.”
Arnav first swallowed and then opened his eyes. He looked at the blue-grey face and immediately gagged. Acid burned the back of his throat as he dropped the bucket, turned around and made for the door. He bolted out and braced his hands against the wall, gasping for breath as he shook his head.
Within moments both Akash and Aman were at his side. “Brother?’ Akash asked with obvious concern, his hand landing on Arnav’s one shoulder.
Arnav’s skin tingled as thousands of nerve-endings, numb moments before, once again came alive. Acute pain, akinto his skin being seared, caused his legs to buckle. He fought to maintain his footing while Aman and Akash each gripped an arm to prop him up. His bruised heart again started beating. The drowning sensation started to abate as Arnav finally managed to croak out, “It’s not her.” and felt a sense of relief consume him.
He could not help the sudden flashof guilt at his relief, while his life may not have ended, there was likely to be someone who had lost someone dear to him. His gulps slowed to more normal breaths, allowing the sickening sensation in the pit of his stomach to subside.
Akash and Aman looked at him, for a moment confused and then relieved. Aman looked at Akash, their silent communication obvious to an onlooker. Aman left Arnav in Akash’s care as he turned towards the approaching officer and gestured for the man to precede him.
Arnav took several long moments to regain a grip on his surroundings. His body and psyche felt bruised, battered,and far wearier than ever before. He turned and braced himself against the wall, fully aware of a hovering Akash. His brother’s intentions were honest and sincere, but at that moment it felt too intrusive. Khushi was the only one who knew how to manage him during such situations. Her unwavering faith in him, her trust, were what espoused his resolve.
Fear gripped him as the realization took hold. The one thing he needed most at that moment and was the very thing that had been ripped from him. He looked at the door with a renewed sickening sensation… the realization that the likelihood of her being discovered in a similar condition increased with each passing day.
On their return Arnav knew that word had gotten round the office, for he was exceedingly aware of the weary glances that were cast their way. The receptionist rose at their approach and made to say something but visibly hesitated. She resettled in her seat and allowed them to proceed past her desk, undisturbed. Aman and Akash left him at the staircase leading to his office as they went about their respective duties.
Arnav, unhurried made his way back to the office, well aware of the pile of paperwork that required his attention.On entering his office, he noticed that his laptop was closed and the papers neatly arranged. The occurrence did not concern him as much as the appearance of the small envelope addressed to him that lay on top of his laptop.
He moved to pick it up the envelope. The handwriting was unfamiliar. Thinking nothing of it he flipped it over he opened it and extracted the card within. Instantly, an icy cold permeated his body. There was nothing written on the card but what it contained conveyed the sender’s message well enough.
“Aman!” the fuming command was harsh and resounded through the offices. Everyone below startled and then froze in position as they watched Aman rush up the steps.
Apprehensively, Aman called“Arnav,” on entering the office.
Arnav tried to contain his fury as he looked towards Aman. The fact that someone could play with his emotions like that enraged him. He held up the envelope as he spoke, “Find out from security,go through the video footage if you must, I want to know who brought this here.”
Aman looked at the envelope for a moment and then stated rather than asked, “Another one?”
Arnav just nodded.
“What is in it? It may help the police.”
Arnav decisively said, “Finding who brought it here is far more imperative to finding Khushi than its contents.”Arnav then tucked the envelope with its card and contents into his jacket pocket before reiterating, “Find out who was here while we were away, and find out who placed this in my office!”
Aman then gave the order to all employees that any parcel or document bound for Arnav was to pass through him first.
The following morning, Arnav reluctantly made his way to the breakfast table. The previous day’s events along with another dead end had frustrated him immensely. The envelope had been hand delivered by a local youth who had done it for little more than a hundred rupees.
He entered the dining hall and for some unknown reason came to a halt. For the first time since Khushi’s disappearance the conversation around the table had regained some sense of normalcy. Part of him was relieved while another part revolted.
He and Akash had decided against informing the other members of the family of their trip to the morgue. If there was one thing he had leaned well, it was that it was to keep the women in the family as oblivious as possible when it came to stressful matters – Khushi being the exception. She was always the exception. Not informing her of matters was akin to beating a sleeping tiger with a stick.
Payal’s phone rang, an event as unlikely as her actually answering it while seated at the table. Arnav watched as she first checked the caller id. He immediately noticed the frown that appeared on her brow before she hesitantly answering, “Hello?”
The shock on her face, the instant indecision and disbelief of her tone meant far less to Arnav than the words he uttered, “Khushi?”
Never in his life had he moved as fast or behaved as disrespectful as he snatched the phone from her grasp, not even registering her shock as he urgently demanded , “Khushi, where the bloody hell are you?”
Total silence greeted him, to which he demanded, “Talk to me damn it. Khushi, this isn’t funny!” Again silence greeted him causing him to check the phone, noticing that the number had been disconnected.
He glared at Payal as he demanded,“Has she ever phoned you before?”
Obviously shocked by his rage, her enlarged eyes and stammering was enough indication of her fear as she eventually opted for shaking her head.
Arnav turned his attention to the phone to check the Id of the previous caller, but it had been blocked. Pulling out his own phone he first hit her speed dial and then waited. The usual message greeted him, informing that the mailbox was full and that he should try again later. Without uttering a word he cut the call and again hit the speed dial, for a moment turning away from the shocked expressions of everyone at the table.
“Aman get on the phone and find out who made the last call to this number…” Arnav for a moment looked at the phone before turning to look pointedly at Payal and demanding, “What’s your number?”
Payal hesitantly started reciting her number, which Arnav relayed, before grunting in frustration as she again hesitated. “I’ll message you from the phone,” Arnav finally seethed, “I want to know where the last call was made from and what number.”
“I will speak with the service providers.”
“Quickly!” Arnav instructed and then ended the call. From Payal’s phone, he sent a blank message to Aman before again looking at Payal and firmly stating, “I’ll keep this with me till the service provider comes back with something.”
It took two days to follow up on the call. The service provider had been reluctant to part with the requested information, which meant that the legal aspects first had to be cleared by the police. Thus, by the time the information had been received it was useless. The call had passed through a tower in northern Delhi. Shortly after that the phone had been switched off but had remained traceable. Its patterns were erratic. So much so that the investigating officer had concluded that it had deliberately been left in an auto-rickshaw to confuse them.
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