Sleep remained as illusive and the room’s emptiness became oppressive. His agitation quickly morphed to irritation, which had led to pacing and finally driving. He had needed to get away from the house, from the walls that seemed to close-in around him. Everywhere he looked things reminded him of her, yet everything appeared to pale in comparison. Her absence drained all verve from his surroundings, while colours seemed to fade, seep then blur.
He drove through Delhi’s nearly deserted streets; unseeing, uncaring as to where he was actually going.It was a habit that had in the past provided him some sense of solace, yet did little to ease his disquiet. If anything, it fed his annoyance at the situation.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel, the whites of his knuckles showing as he fought his thoughts, refused to acknowledge his fears. He would not allow his thoughts to wander to the possibility that she would not return. She was his Khushi, she would come back to him. Their paths had been destined to cross, their fates inexorably entwined. He would find her. He had to.
Steeling himself against the bleakness that loomed over him, like a dark thundercloud, he slowed the vehicle and pulled off the road. He switched off the engine and engaged the handbrake before allowing his forehead to rest against the steering wheel. He closed his eyes and swallowed against the scratching sensation in his throat,before slowing his breathing in an attempt to settle his stomach.
Arnav!
‘Khushi!’ he called out as his head shot up. Her panicked voice immediately registered. It sounded close.
He looked about and fora moment fought to release his seatbelt. His heart thudded in his throat as he leapt out of the vehicle and looked about him, seeking her in the dark.
Panicked, he called out,‘Khushi!’ but received no reply.
He knew not which raced faster, his heart or mind. They have a connection, one that only worked properly when he was calm, but for the life of himself he could not calm his nerves enough to focus.
He looked around, hoping to identify the area before re-entering to the vehicle and activating the GPS.After pressing several buttons it confirmed that he was in the Santa Vihar region. Pressing another button, he saved the location and pulled the vehicle door shut. Using whatever self-control he had, coupled with the discipline he was notorious for, he tried to calm his nerves. He tried to focus his thoughts and reached out to her in the hope of hearing her… but nothing came of it.
It was nearing dawn when he dejectedly returned home. He again climbed the stairs to his room. On entering, he did not even bother to turn on the light. First dropping his phone on the bed, he followed its course – just as ungracefully.
He refused to turn and look at her side of the bed. He hated sleeping alone in their bed, had hated it ever since the time his family had tried to separate them after learning of their contract marriage. The overwhelming loneliness it exemplified pressed down on him. He forced the thoughts from his mind, knowing he had to remain calm if he wanted to hear her. He knew that wherever she was she might be she would be asleep, but he had to remain hopeful, had to cling onto the slightest chance that she would return to him. Clearing his mind he eventually allowed darkness to consume him.
Arnav slowly became aware of his surroundings, his conscious determined to stir him from his slumber. He could smell her. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he reached out to her. His fingers slipped over the sheets… but met nothing. His head shot up as he startled fully awake. Looking about the room, he registered the amount of light filtering through the veranda doors. He also noticed the blanket that covered him and knew that either Anjali or Nani had checked up on him. Reaching for his phone, he immediately realized that it too had been moved. He sat up and looked towards the clock against the wall, noticing that half the morning had already passed, causing his heart to race yet again. While he could understand his family’s insistence that he rest; just what part of his wife being missing did they not understand?
He flung part of the blanket aside and noticed his phone on the side-table. He picked it up to check for messages and instantly seethed on discovering that it had been turned off.He had no need for his family’s concern; he needed to find his wife.
Fighting the sense of desolation that threatened to consume him, he activated his phone and waited for it to boot up. Pressing the speed-dial he lifted the phone to his ear. He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. The call again diverted, this time to inform the caller that the mailbox was full.
He ended the call, cast aside the part of the blanket still partially covering him and got up. Hitting the speed-dial again, Arnav lifted his phone and grew irritable when the person on the other side took too long to answer.
Forgoing any niceties Arnav outright demanded, ‘Any news?’
‘We have checked all the hospitals, clinics and nursing homes in the Lakhsmi-Nagar area, but she was not admitted…’ Aman speedily replied, the remainder followed more hesitantly, ‘… we checked with all the police stations in the area and all major hospitals, but found nothing.’
‘And the list I requested?’
Aman quickly replied, ‘I am currently at the police station with the detective, we are going over everyone. The police have confiscated her vehicle. They will release it once they are done searching it.’
‘I want the best private detective in Delhi, so find him.’ Arnav said then cut the call. He then checked his call log. Finding only the missed call from Madhumati’s home and chose to ignore it, he knew that if it had been urgent a call would have been made to the house and he would have been notified.
Having changed, Arnav stepped from their room. Within moments Hari-Prikash served him a coffee and mumbled something about his preference for breakfast and the need for him to take his medication. With Khushi missing, he had neither the time nor the desire to concern himself with trivial matters or social niceties.
On entering his office Arnav could immediately sense everyone’s hesitation. He knew that Aman would have informed them about Khushi’s disappearance and was fully aware of the staffs’ blatant attempts to avoid him. Thus he made his way to his office without any interruption or imposition, something he was immensely grateful for in his highly irritable state.
Work was easy to submerge himself in. It required no emotion, only analytical thought. It was something he was exceedingly good at, had been for years, but even there things seemed off. Figures, graphs and margins were things he understood, thrived on even, yet it no longer held his undivided attention. He had Aman set up appointments with his bank manager and attorney, the former in order to set up notifications on Khushi’s accounts and the latter to establish his legal position when it came to obtaining information from service providers.
Aman kept him up to date on any developments or reports from the authorities. What had remained unspoken was the ever-illusive forty-eight hour window, while Arnav knew that the chances of finding Khushi alive, safe and unharmed decreased with every passing hour.
As the sun lowered towards the western horizon, Arnav’s ire again threatened to get the better of him. He had tried to remain busy, to keep his mind distracted with a multitude of matters. But as evening threatened to encroach on the little semblance of calm he had managed to maintain, the reality of the situation once again impinged.
It was not as if he had tried to forget the situation, he simply refused to concede to even the remotest possibility that she wanted to remain inconspicuous. There was a slim enough chance of finding one person amongst more than a billion inhabitants when one knew where to look, it became nearly impossible when one had no idea where to look.
He sat outside his home,unwilling to enter the familiar series of rooms and halls, while he had no doubt that Khushi was in danger, for there was no compelling reason as to why she would leave him, he had no idea where he should start looking for her. No demands had been made and her accounts had also not been accessed. That was how he once again found himself in the Santa Vihar region, hoping beyond all hope that he could sense her presence again.
After a fitful night Arnav made his way to the breakfast table, where a demurred atmosphere prevailed. Everyone present looked at one another, as if asking who would dare address him, since all of them were obviously too weary to. Were it not for the fact that he felt light headed, having already skipped dinner the previous evening, he would have forgone breakfast. As it was, he could hear Khushi rebuke him for his negligence.
‘What?’ Arnav demanded as he took his seat. He looked from one person to the next, instantly aware of the unspoken conversation underway. Everyone’s hesitation, reservations and even reluctance to look him in the eye quickly diminished his patience and fed his fear. Was there something they were not telling him? An unsettling sensation started in the pit of his stomach as everyone’s uncertainty remained obvious.
Looking pointedly at Nani he angrily demanded, ‘What happened?’
Nani visibly baulked and instantly appeared hesitant. She looked towards Anjali for a moment before hesitantly starting, ‘Well you see chote… there is a slight problem.’
Irritated Arnav reached for his phone, thinking that if they were not going to get to the point then he would establish for himself what they were hiding, He did not miss Nani’s silent appeal to Anjali for help or the discomfort and discomposure she instantly displayed. It made him sick to his stomach.
Dropping his phone on the table, he glared at everyone in turn then harshly demanded, ‘Out with it,damn it!’
Anjali looked at Nani and then at Mami before she tentatively replied, ‘well… you see Chote… there is…’
Anjali closed her eyes and took a deep breath, visibly composing herself. The action by itself unnerved him further. Nothing Anjali said after such timid behaviour was ever good – however she did not speak it was Nani who continued.
‘You see Arnav dear, Khushi dear….’ Nani started but was cut short by an anxious Arnav.
‘What about Khushi? Have you heard of her?’ Arnav demanded, rising to his feet.
Anjali held up her hand in a gesture to try and calm him and hesitantly said, ‘No Arnav it’s nothing like that.’
‘Then what is it!? ’Arnav demanded.
Anjali, for a moment, looked at Nani who said, ‘Chote, dear…’ causing Arnav to turn his attention to her, ‘…for some time now, Khushi dear, as the elder daughter in law, has been managing the house matters.’
‘So?’ Arnav countered,his irritation only barely contained.
‘The thing is…’ Anjali started, causing Arnav to frown as he looked at her, ‘… Khushi… we have all simply allowed her to take up the duties, not realizing how –’
Arnav angrily cut her short, ‘And you now want to complain in her absence!’
‘Never chote,’ Nani quickly said in the hope of reassuring him. ‘It is just that we have become so used to her managing everything, and with her absence…’
‘Could you get to the point!’ Arnav angrily demanded.
‘What they are trying to say is that there are some famine in the house,’ Mami Manorama finally blurted out.
Arnav felt his ire mount as he looked towards Mami. With a reprimand poised on his tongue he glanced about the table. He immediately noted the shortage of dishes and swallowed the reprimand, he demanded instead, ‘So why hasn’t one of you done anything? Khushi she is not the only daughter-in-law of this house!’
Mami Manorama countered,‘And how are wezz to do that? That phati sari controls all the accounts of the house.’
Livid, Arnav glared at her as he said, ‘If you need money for the house, you have only to ask!’
He then looked between Anjali and Nani, however it was Nani that spoke, ‘Perhaps one of us should manage the household account until Khushi dear comes back.’
‘No!’ Arnav’s firm and immediate answer was issued, causing everyone to look at him in concern. Nani made so say something, however Arnav continued, ‘That account is under surveillance. They are waiting to see when and where someone makes a withdrawal.’
‘Ah yes that makes perfect sense,’ Nani replied.
‘I will have Aman set upa new account for the house,’ Arnav said turning from the table. He was no longer in the mood for food, even with a faint dizziness lurking. He took two gulps of the coffee Hari-Prikash had placed in front of him and then made to leave.
‘Chote,’ Anjali called his attention again. He turned to her and raised a brow, as if expecting her to continue. ‘Aarav was upset this morning. It’s been days already and no one has fully explained to him what’s happened to his sister. You need to say something to him.’
Arnav clenched his fist.Having to cope with Khushi’s disappearance was taxing enough, but having everyone reminding him of her duties and then still having to rededicate them…he could not even begin to express the level of frustration he felt. He knew Khushi would have made arrangements for the weekend, Aarav however had to understand that until Khushi returned that he too had to make some adjustments,and that things would be different, he said, ‘Khushi has made arrangements for the weekend, but I will speak to him when he returns from collage.’
‘You need to tell him Chote,’ Nani insisted.
Arnav could feel his temper building.
‘At the moment he thinks she has gone to their parents, he has even tried to call her, you cannot delay the truth indefinably.
Angrily Arnav demanded,‘And what is the truth?’ causing everyone to baulk. He threw the closest object to him as he continued. ‘…we don’t know where she is, we don’t know if she’ll be back! Hell I don’t even know if she is alive!’
‘Arnav calm down,’ Nani said rising from her seat and holding her hands out in front of her.
‘What for?’ Arnav demanded. Tossing his chair aside he seethed, ‘I want her back!’ and then left.
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