Chapter 83

76. One Last Time

‘I have been screaming my lungs out since morning,’ Kirti blustered, hanging the sheets on the clothesline. ‘Radha, don’t run in the verandah. Radha, watch out. Radha, don’t jump or you’ll slip. But you didn’t listen to me! Now, why are you crying?’ She flared.

The squally showers had stopped but the weather was still tempestuous. The sheets flapped wildly with the thinner saris twisting around themselves and Kirti had to use more clips than necessary to peg them in their place.

Radha, who was sitting in Mayank’s lap getting her bruised knees Savlon-ed, turned her wounded gaze on Kirti and sniffed.

‘Hey Kirti. Don’t scold my Rads. Can’t you see how hurt she is?’ Mayank reprimanded her. It was one of those lucky days when the senior Ojhas were out and even Ravi had been missing since last night.

‘Scold? If I see her jumping one more time, I will shave her head!’

‘Shave her head?’ He tossed away the antiseptic-soaked cotton after cleaning Radha's wound. ‘That's what Dadi would do! And how dare you?! Your sword will have to go through me first! Radha, your Chachu here is ready to sacrifice his head for you. Where will you find love like mine?’

‘Uncle who’s seen once in a blue moon! Yes, where will she find love like yours?!’ Kirti mumbled.

Engrossed in her bruise, Radha paid little attention to her uncle’s jibber-jabber. ‘This burns,’ she groaned.

‘Did you say something?’ He asked Kirti, blowing over Radha’s knee.

‘Nothing.’ She flung the water in the bucket over the flower beds.

‘Radha, see the slimy creatures are back! Here, they are crawling over the walls.’ Kirti attempted to draw Radha's attention away from her wound.

‘They always come out during the rains,’ Radha observed, meandering to the high walls of the porch, forgetting about her hurt.

‘Do they?’ Keeping the bucket aside, Kirti went to stand near the girl. ‘And what is this dark thing, Radha?’ The snails were scaling the walls discolored by moss, leaving brackets of dark trail behind.

‘Whawt? Diis?’ She turned her doe-eyes on Kirti and her sweet childish tongue filled Kirti with sudden affection. She pulled the girl closer and bent to encircle her in her arms.

‘Hey...hey...hey...I could use some love, too.' Mayank walked to them after rinsing his hands under the verandah tap.

‘What you could use is a haircut! Radha, do you want to see a bear?'

'Huh?' Radha looked up. 'Beer?'

'Yes, your Chachu. Doesn't he look like a bear?'

'No,' Radha wagged her head making Mayank laugh in response.

'Radha, my love,' he hopped her up in his arms while smirking at Kirti. 'She's my niece! Did you forget? She very well knows the difference between humans and bears. She’s a big girl.’

A surly Kirti stuck her tongue out at him.

‘Radha, isn’t your Chachu, the most handsome man in the world?’ He asked.

Kirti made a gesture of gagging.

‘You’re such a kid!’ He stretched his arm to pat her head but Kirti slapped it away.

'You are Auringutan,' Radha grinned, too pleased with herself.

'What?' Mayank asked, unable to get her pronunciation.

'Auringutan,' The kid uttered quickly and then shut her mouth. But when her uncle watched her confused, she couldn't contain her excitement and a few giggles escaped her.

'I am Auringwhat?'

‘Orangutan,’ Kirti supplied, a smug smile sitting on her face. ‘Radha watches discovery a lot. She has the sense to differentiate between ordinary men and orangutans.’

‘Auringutan? Is this Orangutan from Aurangabad? Beta, some of your great ancestors might have been orangutans but I was born a human. I am sure I am still one. About your Kirti aunt though, I cannot say. She looks like a monkey, no?’

Radha giggled but refused to agree.

‘No? Then what about a chimp? Doesn’t she look like a chimpanzee? Look at her big limbs. Do you think a human has such long fingers?’ He pulled Kirti’s hand and showed it to Radha.

‘Now, who’s being a kid?’ She asked, pulling her hand back.

‘Congratulations Miss Radha Ojha, you’re the first one to have an orangutan and a chimp as uncle and aunt.’ Mayank continued with his clowning. ‘How does it feel, Little Miss?’ He brought the imaginary mic to Radha’s lips.

Radha gave serious thought to the question before replying, ‘Good.’

‘Miss Radha says she finds it interesting to have two apes as guardians.’

‘And wolves for grandparents,’ Kirti muttered.

‘I heard that, ‘ Mayank said, making Kirti look away. She was not particularly sorry but chastised herself for losing self-control. ‘So Little Miss says she particularly struggles with the aggressiveness of the Chimp. But given that the Orangutan is half the time away on business, and shirking off his duties, it is understandable. The Orangutan is extremely grateful to the Chimp,’ he finished, making Kirti gape at him. ‘And jackals for birth parents, you forgot.’ He said, conveying through his eyes that he was aware of the realities.

‘What is a jakaul?’ Radha asked, piercing the haze of a shared moment that enveloped them, a moment that had become rare for the friends these days.

‘Kirti, can you please bring Ravi’s picture outside?’ Mayank asked guilelessly, making Kirti laugh even as she was horrified that he showed no prudence before the kid.

It was at this moment that someone knocked on the door.

Three pairs of eyes darted towards the iron-wrought gate to see who the visitor was. Standing together, to an outsider they formed a vision of a perfect family.

‘Nishit?' Her heart jumped and she hustled to the gate.

'I wanted to see Dadi.' He stood tall and awkward.

'Oh, come in.'  

'How are you?' She asked once he was inside, pulling her chunni from the clothesline from where it dangled and covering herself with it.

'Good. Hi,' whether he greeted the other man or the child, it was difficult for Kirti to tell.

Mayank gave his head a slight nod as an acknowledgment without missing the strain in his guest's voice.

The little girl stared at their visitor curiously.

'Radha, have you forgotten him? He got you chocolates the other day. You were badgering him to buy a Doraemon doll.'

'She was?' Mayank interrupted. 'Next time you want something, you tell me, okay Rads?'

'Say hello.' Kirti coaxed. 'You met him that day in the mall.'

'It's okay.' Nishit said but his eyes were forlorn when he turned away from Radha.

'I will take him to Dadi,' she informed Mayank before heading in.

'She had recognized me the last time.' She thought his voice was accusatory.

'There have been too many new people in the past few months so it's difficult to keep pace with.' Lily, Biplab, Hardiik, Ravi, and then with Ravi's friends going in and out, it was hard for Radha, especially with none of them being constant fixtures.

'I wonder if she saw me,' he said, following her.

'What do you mean?' She looked over her shoulder at him.

'When you are in the arms of someone you love, you won't be looking at others, will you? It doesn't matter if the other one even brought stars at your feet.'

'I am not sure,' she replied. She did not know. No one had loved her romantically or filled her in their arms for her to know. No one had brought stars for her either. Anyway, stars would have been an inconvenience.

She only knew him, the things he did for her, and the two words he had unleashed on her.

'You will not look. I know.' He uttered stalling her midway.

There was something off about his persona and she turned fully to face him but could not pinpoint anything.

'Dadi?' He asked, nudging her back to action.

'Wait here. Let me see if she's presentable. Dadiii..’

He nodded, stepping away while she went inside a room.

'Nishit is here to see you,' He stood outside hearing the soft ruffle of clothes and whispers.

Kirti pulled a gown from the almirah and helped her grandmother change into it. Then combing the silver locks back, she threaded it into a neat braid. Dabbing snow powder over the drooping cheeks, Kirti smiled widely. 'Now you look lovely.' 

Putting away scattered objects and clothes, she patted her grandmother's bed clean, marching out afterward.

'Sorry for keeping you waiting. Come in.'

The room bore a distinct strong odor of medicines, of Iodex balm and ….Navratna oil, he surmised looking at the paraphernalia scattered on a table next to the bed. There was a sweet smell as well he couldn’t locate. Perhaps Kirti realized it too for she was opening the shimmery curtains wide and sliding the windows. The howling winds like hungry beasts rushed inside.

When he laid eyes on Karuna occupying a small bed, her wizened, frail skin scrubbed clean and her eyes open and shining with life, he felt immeasurable joy. Seeing her lying lifeless in hospital day in and out had been mentally exhausting. Enveloped in a blue floral print gown, she sat leaning on the bed with pillows supporting her, waiting for him.

'Pranam Dadi,' he touched Karuna’s feet. She smelt of new cotton fabric and freesia talcum.

'Dadi, did you know? He always used to come to visit you in the hospital.'

'Is that so? Isiliye khusbhu jani pehchani lag rahi hai. Baitho Babu.' She leaned away from the pillows and sat straight, half her legs dangling from the bed. Her gown had risen up exposing her inflamed feet.

Familiar scent. Kirti understood what Dadi meant.

When he remained standing, Kirti realized that there was nothing to sit on. She gathered that Radha must have carried the chair out.

'Let me get a chair for you.' Kirti dashed out, returning with a plastic armchair that had a high back. 

'I am sorry I knew about your discharge but could not come. How have you been Dadi?' 

An ignored bunch of bananas sat on the bedstead, drifting towards their decay. It was the smell of degradation that had infiltrated his senses earlier, he inferred. An end sweetened by nature.

Karuna sighed. 'Kya bataun, beta. Hath-panv chal nahi rahe. Zindagi ki jama punji sab bimari mein kharch ho gayi. Mere piche ghar bhi bech diya inhone. Ab dusre ke chhat ke niche kat rahi hai zindagi.'

'Dadi,' Kirti gave her grandmother a look of reproach. 'Tell him good things. Tell him about your progress. How you can feel the strength return to your limbs. I am sorry, Nishit.' She was embarrassed.

'Can I get a cup of tea?' He asked, not acknowledging her apology.

'Yes, sure,' She mentally chastised herself for her lack of hospitality. 'Dadi, will you have a cup as well?'

'If it's a sugarless cup you’re offering, then don't bother!'

The room was small and stuffed even with just a bed. The shelves were filled with books and newspapers. Another shelf had deities covered with fresh hibiscus and pea blue Aparajitas.

The walls were pale and leaky. A chalk-striped plastic folding bed stood in a corner inclined against the wall. A Thakur Prasad calendar hung from a hook but what particularly struck him was the strikes against the dates.

He was surveying the room when his gaze fell over the foldable study table. It was inclined and had Economic Survey data scribbled over the white enamel surface of it. He knew because he had finished reading it after it's release, only a few days ago. There were a few random years scribbled too which he couldn’t place.

'One cup, it is then. Excuse me, Nishit. I will be back in a few minutes.' 

He nodded and once she was gone, he turned to the ailing woman and asked, ‘Dadi, now that she’s not here, we can talk freely. Are the medicines effective? If not, then we can change the doctor.’ 

‘The doctor is okay, Beta. My condition is improving as well. But does this improvement hold any significance when you see your child decaying before you?’ 

XxxX

The dairy whitener was out and she had to tear open a packet of milk to make tea. She had to give it extra minutes to boil thoroughly and gain color. By the time she carried tea and snacks in a tray to the room, he had left. 

‘Where did he go?’ She placed the tray on the chair still warm of his presence and ambled out, looking for him. But there was no one. Radha? Mayank? Nishit?

She went to the gate and saw no one.

On returning to the room, Dadi informed her, ‘He was in a hurry, so left.’

‘But he asked for tea!’

‘He has a flight to catch. He’s leaving India.’

‘He’s what?’ Her voice quivered. She should have known! His behaviour had been off! He had asked for tea when he didn't even drink tea!

‘Bidesh ja raha hai. He said it was a mistake to return. He wanted to see me one last time before he left. Acha ladka hai. Par dukhi tha...Sabhi dukhi hai duniya mein…There, keep it away,’ Karuna nudged the object away with her feet. ‘He said you had loaned it to him long ago and he always forgot to return it.’

She finally acknowledged the thing - something that she had been refusing to give its due recognition since she had first seen it in his hand at the gate - that lay at the feet of her grandmother. Her seventy rupees tikau umbrella she had brought from a roadside vendor. She had been waiting for a bus and the shopkeeper had been going on about its durability making her give in and buy it.

So it is finally over? And Bidesh? This is how it ends? Without even a goodbye? She did not even have a place in his one last time.

There was a story her Dadi used to tell them when they were young. Once upon a time, there was a boy who was traveling out alone for the first time. While they were boarding the train, his parents were enumerating dos and don’ts, annoying the boy with their mistrust. He opined he was an adult and could take care of himself. When finally the train started and he was surrounded by unfamiliar faces, their gazes weird and unnerving, he felt scared. Then, he remembered the note his father had slipped into his pocket asking him to read it after the train started. He immediately pulled it out, taking comfort in its homely smell. The missive read, ‘I am in the next bogie. Don’t worry.’

He was able to finally fall asleep. 

Nishit had been that companion in the other bogie. Consciously and unconsciously, she had for some time come to depend on him.

 XxxX

She kept both the umbrella and the pen away. 

It was not necessary you got closure in neat packages with tidy gift bows stuck on them.

He must have left by now, she thought looking outside at the dark sky.

It was inevitable, wasn’t it? 

Even if they had traveled in the same train for some time, their destinations weren’t the same and when destinations were different, one had to part ways with their fellow passengers no matter how obsessed you had become with someone during the journey.

She pulled open the legs of her table, gearing up for another sleepless night. Digital India launched in 2015. Pradhan Mantri Kaushal Vikas Yojana, 2015…

Woh jald-baaz khafa ho kar chal diya warna,

Tamazat ka koi hal nikal bhi sakta tha,

Anaaa ne hath uthaane na diya warna,

Meri duaa se woh pathar pighal bhi sakta tha...

….Udaasiyon ka mausam badal bhi sakta tha

-

Mohsin Naqvi

[NOCOPY]

[MEMBERSONLY]