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It was a cloudy day with scattered rainfall all around, hence flight schedules were suspended and apart from indoor gym, the HAWKS had nothing much to do. Taking the rare time off, the members decided to entertain themselves in various ways. Cafe was their main hangout place, a table reserved just for them, but after a long time they spent a good two hour in gaming room. The boys played pool, of course, Disha dangled her feet from a high stool, Natasha watched with a smirk on her face and Sameera- she was reading this book Veer sir had recently recommended her on internal security.

“Want to play?” Ali asked for umpteeth time that day, grinning at Natasha. The latter had said she did not know nor she had any desire to learn pool, and of course he latched onto it.

“Thanks, I would rather watch.” Crossing arms, she leaned against a wall, the next moment chattering with Disha about some random topic. Samrat rolled eyes- at his insufferable friend, at Ice queen, and then turned at Sameera. Walking towards her, he snatched the book away, making her almost jump at the suddenness.

“Samrat!”

“You are boring me. Come play.” Holding her wrist, he dragged her to table, thrashed his own stick in her hand. “What’s this crap you are reading anyway?” He turned a page of her book, making face.

“Excuse me?” Indignant, she made a face, trying to take the book away but he kept it higher, away from her reach. “Veer sir gave it. Please Samrat!”

“Pool. Two games, me you and Ali. Then you get back the book.” Sighing, Sameera turned to the other man who was smirking. Giving up, she took position next to table, ready to play after a long time as others watched.

They stopped by on their way back in cafe, the girls pulling leg of the men as Sameera crushed them all in a span of 54 minutes. Disha asked about Abhi casually and Sameera elbowed Samrat at the teasing look- he was gone for a training session in another air force base. They ordered food and talked a bit, laughter and conversation flowing freely. Somehow, it went to the topic of places they had visited. By the time tea arrived, Sameera was engrossed in her book again.

“Oh god.” Samrat groaned, and this time Sameera was quick to take it away from his prying fingers, “You put it away right now. Read it in your room or something.”

Grinning sheepishly, she closed the book, feeling his arm falling over her shoulder, “You are missing important things. Focus here, officer.”

“Okay boss.” She turned to others, “Sorry about that.”

“Must be an interesting book.” Natasha casually said, blowing on her coffee, “Once you are done, lend it to me.”

“Enough of book topic.” Ali declared, leaning on the table and looking at Sameera expectantly. In fact, if she looked closer, everyone’s attention was on her.

“Yes?”

“We are planning for a trip. Weekend, most likely.” Ali’s words immediately filled her with excitement, “You in?”

“Of course she is in.” Samrat declared before she can speak, and then looked at her for confirmation. Sighing in exasperation, she nodded, “See. Besides, wrong question, bro.”

“Ali wanted to ask if you can ask Abhi about this? Regarding permission and all?” Disha asked, stifling her laughter.

“If it’s a group trip we can just give leave request, I guess?” Sameera frowned, confused.

“You must be leaving behind your brain in Abhi’s apartment.” At that comment, the former smacked Samrat on his arm, “Ouch, that hurt.”

“Serves you right.”

“Well, he is the boss.” Natasha said, eyes twinkling, “You can get extra favor. More holiday time off, no interruption, yada yada.”

“But . . . “

“Just ask him, Sam!” Ali said forcefully, “He can’t deny you. Please?”

She looked at her friends warily.

She had forgotten about asking Abhi in the next few days. There was another rainy day of free time after a couple of days, hence the two were holed up in his apartment all afternoon and evening, sitting on a bean bag where she was almost on his lap, watching movies and ordering food. There was a particularly emotional movie where the male lead dies, and when she started to cry at that- she has seen it hundred of times in her life but she always cries, Abhi crooned a song from the movie in her ears softly, making her forget all about the sadness. She stared widely as he hummed the movie song, brushed aside tears and held onto her securely.

This was the first time he sang in front of her.

“Wow.” Staying with him at times meant words failed her often. Sometimes, it all felt like a big, elaborate dream. Maybe this was all happening in her coma, and whenever she thought that made her chastise herself. But it was hard not to lose sight of reality, or the fear that this all is an illusion. She never had it before- being loved by a man. Such intensity, such passion, that one look from him can make her feel at ease, and also make her heart burst out. Arms that always make her feel secure, words so loving that she can weep in happiness. And the touch- his lips, his fingers brushing through her hair- her cheeks flamed just by thinking about that.

Abhi smiled back easily, then asked if they should order pizza. Almost an hour later, it arrived, and he watched in adoration as she took a piece, closed her eyes and prayed for a few seconds before biting into it. The moan made him feel shy, so he looked down and started to take a piece for himself. They spoke about random, mundane things- his trip to another base, the weather, how HAWKS are getting antsy at the lack of flying hours. Sameera noticed how enthusiastic he went about the trip and training module, spoke lengths about the new officers the other base had recruited and how he saw potential.

“You know, I think if you did not come to air force, you would have been a teacher.” She said once they were done with eating, Abhi moving away the box and their water glasses. Snorting, turned to her.

“Really?”

She bobbed head up and down, ‘”Why, you don’t think so?”

“I think a teacher should have patience. My temper is legendary.” That was not far off the mark- he was an intense person, very focused. A bit off his target and he takes it all out on boxing bag.

“That’s not true.”

“Can you find anything wrong with me?” He asked with amusement. She pretended to think about it for a few moment, before keeping a straight face.

“You are too tall.”

He burst out laughing, pulling her on his lap again, their foreheads touching, “I am not sure that was refreshing to hear that you find no fault other than this, or you love me too much to say it.”

She grinned, not replying to that. Playing with his fingers, she looked down at their joined hands, feeling his heartbeat against her. He looked content with her, she has observed it many times. And each time, it filled her with warmth.

Suddenly, she remembered about the trip, and making up her mind, she looked up. He, astute as always with her changing emotions, especially now that they were spending almost all the time together, raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, Sameera?” She laughed at that softly, shaking head at her own lack of reigning in emotions. So open, so exposed in front of him.

“Others are planning for a trip. Weekend, most likely, maybe 2 or 3 days?”

“Where?”

“I am not sure, somewhere hill or sea. Disha mentioned Goa, but Samrat and Natasha has been there. So most likely it will be a hill area. They are looking through some nearby hill stations.”

“Where would you like to go?” He was curious. She shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

“I never went anywhere.” She whispered, as if confessing something secret, “Never seen hill or sea.” Looking up at him curiously, she asked, “Have you ever been to beach?”

He nodded at that, “Many times.”

“How is it like? The ocean?”

“It’s huge.” He started talking about the beaches he visited- inside the country and outside, the waves, people, the quiet water somewhere and violent somewhere else, crowdy ones and hidden places alike. She listened with rapt attention, smiling wistfully. Abhi was stuck, once again, how different their lives have been, and yet somehow they ended up in same place, and was now together. He had always led a comfortable lifestyle- never had to ask for fancy clothes or necessities, always had Mom and Dad once he retired from army. He studied in places where only influential people would send their kids, his parents put lots of money behind his education and then training. Vacation, money, cars were always present. But now that he sees her, and knows about her struggle, he can say he was one of the lucky ones. His parents were alive, he had next to nothing struggle financially. He did not know sadness or life could be unfair until Abhi happened to him, but that was also a mental, emotional trauma. It was never about lack of amenities.

Things like that made him respect her more.

“I think most likely we will go to somewhere hilly. There will be voting and everything.” Shaking herself off, she gave him a huge smile, “Can we please go?”

“I am not sure if you are asking me as a Boss or something else. Even I need to ask Veer sir about that, to clear schedules.”

“I told them the same, to put leave request, but they were like ‘No! Talk to Abhi.’” He laughed at her tone, then decided to tease her.

“So you all will be gone, and what about me?”

Her eyes widened, “You can come with us. If you want.”

“If I want.” He tested the word, “It’s not an invitation, then?”

“I thought you might be busy. You are always busy.” She was suddenly worried. She should have asked him first- courtesy, right? But then, they all did not talk about it anyway. The team was good friend, but trip with the leader? She should have asked Samrat.

“I don’t think there is no point of me being busy or not if you did not ask me first.” He tried to sound annoyed, and of course her heart sank.

“No, Abhi, I did not mean that.” Biting into her lower lip, she asked softly, “Would you come if we get permission?”

“That’s a moot point now.” He looked away, but it was hard not to smile when she scooted closer, her palms encasing his face and made him look at her.

“Will you come?”

“Ask me again.” Because he would never deny her anything. Smiling brightly, she leaned forward, her eyes sparkling.

“Please come with the trip, Abhi. It will mean a lot for me.” Her lips brushed over his softly, almost teasing, “Please?”

“Yes.” He whispered back, and grinning, she kissed him softly.

“Okay, then.”

Probably to no one’s surprise but her own, Sameera realized nobody was bothered about Abhi coming to trip. Rather, they were delighted, and she felt guilty internally about misjudging their bonds. Since Boss was on their side, they got the permission for trip easily- 3 nights, 2 days. Now, only the place remained.

They were sitting after a long day of training regime, tired but one mention of trip and they all felt renewed energy inside them. The rainy days were temporarily paused and Abhi wanted all them to focus more on flying- different crafts, night and day, low altitude and high, surveillance and training. Sipping on hot sandwiches and beverages, they decided to vote.

Disha refrained from voting, “I have never been to either sea or hill, so it really don’t matter. You guys decide.” So they all picked- two for hill, Samrat and Sameera, and two for ocean, Natasha and Ali. Ali never went to Goa, and Natasha wanted to revisit- to soak the sun, as she said. It all was down to Abhi, and after a long, dramatic pause, he spoke one word.

“Goa.”

Later in the night, in his place, Sameera wrapped her arms around, her silent thank you to him for the vote. Somehow, he had picked up her interest and voted for the place, and she was too happy to even say it out loud.

His arms went around her waist, drawing her closer until she was standing on his feet, “Why did not you vote for Goa?”

“Samrat has been to Goa before.” She looked up, head on his chest. He dropped a kiss on her forehead.

“And who will pick your happiness?” At that, she hid her face again, and he sighed. Always picking others over her, on every single thing. “It’s okay. I will do it. Even when you won’t pick your happiness, I will do it on your behalf.”

Goa was beautiful- the sun, sparkling waters, the people, the trees, the constant breeze flowing around. The gang reached there by via one night of road trip, then checked in the hotel. The girls- Disha and Sameera immediately wanted to visit the nearby beach. Thanks to Abhi, they had a place in high end place which was close to sea. The boys, too tired to even move, took their luggage and along with Natasha, headed towards their rooms- 3 for 6 of them, girls will share one, Samrat paired with Ali, which left Abhi with his own space.

The girls oohed and aahed at the wide, blue water, squealing when waves came too close, giggling and splashing water at each other, almost half soaked. As it was near to a hotel, people were less around them. Their hands were clasped together and they gushed how amazing it looked, and how many more adventures they will have in the next few days. Samrat and Abhi had made plans, and were very tight lipped about them- surprises, they said.

Remembering Abhi, a small, wistful smile came on her face. He was so nice to her throughout the trip- well, he was always nice. But it still takes her by surprise that he was that open in front of others- no hesitancy to look at her, or hold her hands, or speak to her differently. He let her sleep on his shoulder when she fell asleep in the car, ordered whatever food and water she needed, took extra care to bring snacks as per her taste. He even carried her luggage. She hoped he was resting well, she tired him out too much.

In the evening, the team mates sat in cafe, eating and discussing their plans for the next few days and also adding if anyone had any special demands. Disha wanted to see churches- the boys, minus Abhi, groaned at that.

“It’s so boring yaar.” Ali whined, making her narrowed her eyes at him.

“Then don’t. I will go . . . with Natasha. Or Sam.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sameera nodded, smiling at her friend, “Tomorrow morning?” One plan was confirmed. Others decided to stay back and visit beach, take part in water sports available. The night plan was for shopping and clubbing.

“Whatever you do, keep you day free for day after tomorrow.” Abhi said, Samrat grinning at the secret the both of them carried, “We have a whole day of things planned.”

“You did not even tell us what.” Natasha complained lightly.

“You will like it, I am pretty sure.” Samrat stressed, and the former rolled eyes with a smile.

Once the dinner died down, they sat around the table and chatted a bit. The staff came for bill, and Natasha gave her card first- for each meal, one of them will pay so that they all contribute equally. Before giving the card it fell on the floor and she bent down to pick it.

Sameera frowned when Natasha whispered something to Disha, both of them giggling softly. She nudged at the latter, and she motioned her to look down. She did, and immediately looked up, trying to look stern.

Of course Samrat was the one picking up on the giggling and secrecy. He also looked down, coughed to hide his laughter and then whispered to Abhi.

“Boss, might want to check something. Down, there.” If one looked too closely, the men- Abhi and Ali, both were too focused on their plates. They tried to look casual but their face seemed to give away. Confused at his words, Abhi looked down, and his face became blank.

Disha laughed so hard that Ali looked at her, startled, “What?”

“Might want to remove your feet from mine, Ali.” Abhi gritted teeth. As if electrocuted, Ali got up in a flash, and everyone started to laugh at the two. Apparently, throughout the whole dinner, the men had been playing foot see- how they did not realize it was them playing with each other, none can tell. Embarrassed, their faces were ready, but just like friends, they let others tease them, having a good laugh out of it.

On the way to their rooms, Abhi held onto Sameera’s hand gently, letting others walk away from them, “Want to spend some time in beach?”

She smiled widely at that.

This would be a memory Abhi would cherish a lifetime- Sameera and him sitting on the sand, her pointing at the stars and telling their stories, her soothing voice mixed with waves almost putting him in a spell. How she laid down on the sand, uncaring, and after a while she fell asleep. How he could not sleep the whole night, content to watch her face and the slow rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. How, when sun rose, he shook her awake gently. How the sun looked in her eyes, how her lips curled up in smile.

When the sun started to become too harsh, they got up, hands in hand. Sameera shook her hair, sands falling everywhere, “How do I get rid of these?”

“Shampoo? I don’t know baby.” He picked a small stone from her hair, and her eyes widened, “Maybe ask the girls. They will know better.”

“It’s long now.” She was worried. Luckily, the girls were big help after she returned- after the initial teasing of sleeping on the beach, they both helped her to get rid of sand, and Disha herself gently massaged her hair with shampoo. Lying inside the big bathtub, she sighed in content, and closed her eyes.

“You are the best.” Disha laughed at that.

“Is it so?” Natasha’s dry tone made her eyes snapped open, “Do you guys need the room?” Making a show of leaving, she walked near door, but Disha shushed her.

“Let’s not spoil her mood, she looks so happy.”

“That she does.” Coming near the two, Natasha crouched down on the floor, both elbows on knees, “This look is better than worry look or crying look. And she had so many of them, gosh.”

Sameera made a face at that, and Disha whispered, “It’s true Sam.” Done with the massage, she slowly ran the water and started cleaning her hair gently, “Let’s pray it remains the same.”

“Amen to that.” Natasha smirked.

The girls left for church early morning after bidding the boys goodbye, Natasha in tow as she complaint the boys will irritate her too much. They attended some famous ones, joined masses, lit candles and prayed- Sameera and Disha did, Natasha was content to stare at the portugese architecture and paintings. When the sun became too much, they decided to return to hotel- it was almost 12 by then. On the way there was a small incident- a bunch of men, no older than themselves, started to tease them. Words turned to physical proximity, and one of them guys pushed Sameera to ground. Of course, Natasha intervened, and there was a fight- swift and brutal the only way she can manage. By the end of it, public had arrived and shooed them off, and the girls returned.

On their way in they met Ali, “Come to the ground, we will play basketball.” Making plans to meet them in a few minutes, the girls went up to change dress.

Disha walked in the washroom unlocked and found Sameera struggling with a wound on her elbow, gasping at the blood, “Sam!” Jumping at her tone, she turned around, shocked.

“Hush, Di.” The former rushed toward her, gently holding her arm and wincing at her behalf. Sameera tried to move away.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s bleeding!” Concerned, she started to clean the wound, blowing softly at it and put on antiseptic cream and bandage. Luckily, it was small and did not look that bad, and once Sameera put on a tshirt which had a three quarter sleeve, nobody could tell there was a wound underneath.

“When did this happen?” Thankfully, only two of them were in the room- Natasha had long left. Sameera tried to shrug it off but she won’t have it, “Is it when one of the boys pushed you? That brat . . . “

“Accidents happen, it’s fine.” She squeezed her hand, “Please, Disha, let it be.”

Huffing, she reluctantly gave up. Glad that she had not ruined the mood, Sameera smiled, both of them moving out to meet others.

The basketball game was brutal. There were no Girls vs boys team, but there were Team Leader- Abhi, Natasha and Ali, and Team underdog- Samrat, Disha, Sameera. They argued a bit on the names, then Ali being on the leader team and not Samrat. There were some drama, some eyeroll, and Sameera was laughing at the spectacle at it, standing a bit away. When her eyes met Abhi, he was returning it with one of his own- exasperated at the team’s antics, also happy to have this time.

Once the game started, underdog or not, nobody left an inch. The points were neck to neck, there were raised voices of cheating and blocking players. They had been almost playing for an hour, panting and sweaty, but nobody wanted to give up. In the end, team Leader decided to sabotage one of their own- Natasha winked at Ali in middle of a game, letting Samrat take the ball from the latter, and Disha took it from him, ran, and then the next moment it was in a basket.

There was a collective mix of groan and cheer, and Natasha came to put an arm over Sameera.

“We had a mole.” Ali deadpanned, and beside him Abhi shook head, taking one water bottle each kept away from the court and handing them over.

“For the record, there is no underdogs here.” Samrat said, fist bumping with other men, “We all are equal.”

“Agreed.” Abhi echoed.

“Cheers.” Natasha raised her bottle, and all of them clinked theirs.

After a while, others wisely left the two alone, thankfully devoid of any teasing remarks or looks. For a while, both of were self conscious to be alone, then Samera shrugged it off, took the ball from him and playfully threw it in his hands. His focus was suddenly on it, and thanks to crazy reflex, he caught it before it hit the ground, passing it from one hand to another.

“Yes, Sameera?”

“Let’s play.” She tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ears, standing straight. He gave a small smile at that.

“You are not tired?”

“It will be a different game.” At his silence she continued, “Whoever gets the ball and puts it in basket first gets to ask questions. 10. No, that will be too long, right?” Thinking for a moment, she amended, “5. He or she gets to ask 5 questions.”

“You know everything about me, Sameera.” He replied softly. She made sound, disagreeing.

“That’s not true! I know basic things, like your coffee, what your hobbies are. Not deep questions.”

“Such as?”

“Let’s play the game, shall we?” She moved near him, and he immediately backed away. It started a long chase between the two- even when they were playing, nobody won’t give the other an inch. After a while she was successful to get the ball from him and put it in basket. Her short height meant she was dangling from the ring and Abhi held onto her waist, gently lowering her down. She laughed at that, eyes sparkling when she turned to look at him.

“Shoot.” He gave permission. It did not even take her a second to start firing questions- she had them all ready.

“Morning or evening?”

“Evening.”

“Trousers or short?” The bizarre question made his frame shake with laughter, and she pouted in response, “Abhi!”

“Trousers. Always.”

“Sweet or salty?”

“Salty.”

“Huh,” She frowned, absent minded as her hands played with the ball, going from one side to another, mimicking his earlier action, “That’s why you drink black coffee.”

“It’s simple, takes less time.” He patiently explained, and she nodded at that, satisfied.

“Hill or sea?”

“Hill.”

“Aha! So you did want to visit hill.” She narrowed her eyes accusingly at him, and his grin got wider.

“We will visit the next time, Sameera.” Her cheeks flushed at his words, and for a moment she looked down.

“Next, Apache or MIG?”

“Apache. It’s slick.” He did not hesitate at that, and from her knowing look made him realize she wanted to know if her guess was right.

“Veer sir or Trainer Rawte?”

“Veer sir.”

“Mom or Dad?”

“Mom.”

“Ali or me?”

“Ali.” He replied without thinking, and when Sameera doubled with laughter, he realized his mistake, “What kind of question was that?” Embarrassed, and also a bit indignant, he almost shouted the question. Her giggling did not stop for a long time, the ball slipping from her fingers and lying somewhere on the ground forgotten.

“Well, you two played foot sea.” She wiped tears of laughter, trying to keep a straight face, “Glad to know you prefer him more.”

“Sameera.” He almost growled, and she probably sensed the joke had gotten a bit far. There was an excitement in the air now- he looked displeased, but there was not anger in his eyes. More like . . . something else. Hence she did what every person does when they feel they are in danger- physically or emotionally, she made a run for it. But he was right on her track, and before she could move farther, his arms were around her, making her feet fly in air.

She squealed, “Abhi!” But he was laughing too, so she was glad that he did not take offense at the teasing.

“You will pay for it.” Her feet were back on the ground, him nuzzling in her neck, “Ali, really?”

“Sorry.” But she was not sorry at all, judging by the giggle that followed. He shook head, his arms pulling her closer.

“I stink, Abhi. I am all sweaty.”

“I don’t care.” He was content to be like this, just her and him. She leaned on him slightly, closing eyes as they swayed back and forth for a while.

“Let’s move.” Gently removing his grip, she turned around to look at him, and he sighed, giving up. She moved away a little, wriggled her fingers for him to take it and follow.

Of course, he did.

The HAWKS had a plan for clubbing for evening, but the afternoon tired them out too much that they all sprawled out in the backyard of hotel, talking and chilling for the entirety of it. There was bonfire, and several other hoteliers around them. One group, slightly older than them consisting only men, were playing guitar. Ali excitedly moved to talk to them, and after a few moments of chitchat the instrument was passed on to each one of them. Sameera had no knowledge of it, neither had Samrat. Ali played with the chords for a bit, Natasha weighed in the instrument but did not play, Dishs was happy simply to look at them from a corner.

When it went to Abhi, he glanced at Sameera, before focusing on the instrument. A full minute passed and when he looked up, everyone was stunned to silence- their Boss was fluent in the thing, so engrossed that he did not notice anyone around him. The other group started to urge him to play a song, and he denied it, but protests died when Sameera mouthed a silent ‘please’ from a corner. There was only one option after that.

As he was getting ready to start a song, Sameera rushed to him, “Phone, please?” She asked, smiling sweetly. He gave it, and she immediately started to record them all.

“Ready, director?” Samrat teased. The former nodded, and Abhi started to sing. His voice was deep, melodious, he sang effortlessly and the emotion in his voice, his pitch and the general good vibes around them made them happy. Once he was done, everyone burst in applause, clapping his back and shaking hands.

He let the guitar go, and mouthed ‘love you’ to Sameera. Blushing, she looked away, finally done with the recording and screenlocking his phone.

Natasha peeked from her behind, “Nice picture.” She had seen the former’s photo with the rose. Looking down in shyness, Sameera motioned towards Abhi and left.

Once they were done with dinner, they sat lazily around the fire, talking and laughing. They shared their stories- back from life, schooling, about friends, about crushes. When there was a lull in conversation, Samrat expectantly glanced at Abhi, and he sighed.

“Ask them.” He motioned to others. The girls, huddled together on the opposite side, frowned.

“Ask what?”

“Alcohol, shorty.” Samrat grinned, “Want some?”

“No.” Came her reply, and almost at the same time Natasha’s “Yes.” Since she said yes, Ali was torn between saying the same thing or denying it. His friend looked at his expression, suppressing laughter but also realizing his inner turmoil.

“It’s a sip. Tastes bitter.”

“Yes, Ali, want to try?” Natasha smirked. Ali glanced in return, thought for a few moments before shaking head- he won’t do that. There was obligatory asking permission from Abhi and Disha, and Samrat skipped Sameera.

“I know Sam won’t drink.” He turned to Abhi who looked questioningly, “She never drank.”

“I lived with my Maa, unlike you.” She replied dryly. He raised eyebrow at that.

“Do you mean . . . ?”

Sameera thought for a moment, then looked at Abhi. But it was not his decision to make, hence his face gave away nothing. After a few moments and nudging from Natasha, she nodded.

“Wow.” Samrat was stunned, “Love suits you. You should be in this forever.” Others started laughing, and before his best friend could reply at that, he left to get some alcohol- nothing too strong, just a few cans of beer. Sameera hesitantly opened one, jerked a bit behind at the foam coming out of can. Natasha shook her head at her, then clanked their cans together.

“Cheers.” They all raised their drinks- juice and water for the two of them. With slight intoxication came daring, hence they had the brilliant idea of truth and dare.

Natasha came first, “Truth.” She missed no beat, and also knew it was the safest option as Ali was opposite her. He gave a lopsided grin, unabashed.

“Why won’t you give me a chance?” She laughed at that- not unkindly, but more like she was expecting nothing less than this. Sameera glanced at Disha slightly, who looked taken aback, also slightly hurt.

“Because my heart belongs to someone else.” Natasha gulped the rest of her drink and continued, “You know what, I will tell you a story. There was this guy in my college. I really liked him. Not that he was the finest specimen of man I have ever laid eyes on, nor that he was the most intelligent one. But he made me laugh, he made me feel happy. I proposed, of course, and he said yes. It was going good, until one day, he got into IIT. Told me, I was a hindrance to his ‘focus’.” She air quoted that, “Told me, ‘You are a rich heiress, Tasha, what will you know about struggle and having a hard life?’. He was right though, I never worked a day in my life, never struggled for anything. Never suffered pain. But he gave me that- pain. Heartbreak. Suffering. Also taught me value of hard work, that there was world outside my Father’s corporation. Hence I worked, I studied, I prepared, and here I am.” Natasha looked right into Ali’s eyes, satisfied that he looked serious- this ends tonight. “You remind me of him a lot. You make me laugh. But you need to understand it that I can’t offer you anything. So the original question you asked? Cause I can’t. No matter how much you drop hints.”

The atmosphere was tensed for a while, so silent that only the fire cackling was audible. Ali was in disbelieve, but also felt like he saw a tiny smirk on her face. Everyone noticed him staring, and then saw it for themselves- of course, Natasha was smirking.

“You are smiling.” Disha said after a long time, puzzled herself, “Was it all . . . ?”

“I am not that drunk to lay down my heart to you all.” The words let out collective groans and protests from them all, “Okay, I made it all up!” She threw hands in air, turning to Ali guiltily, “Sorry Ali.”

“No problem.” He forced a smile of his own, immediately looking away. Disha looked between the two, silently filing it away for later.

Amidst the protest, Natasha suddenly said, “But I was not entirely lying, you know? I did give my heart to someone else.” Turning to the unsuspecting woman beside her, she leaned down, “Sameera, you have it. All of it.”

Ali choked on water and spat it out, fits of coughing following. Samrat slapped his back, caught between laughter at his best friend’s look of confusion and also sympathy that ice queen was doing it again. Panicked, Sameera looked at Abhi, unsure what to say, but the former held her chin, making her turn.

“Hey here.” On her vision, Natasha could see Abhi looking at them- slightly curious, but betraying nothing. Sameera, confused and probably slight disoriented from the drink, opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

“Uh . . . “

“That’s enough, ice queen.” Samrat cut off the staring contest, making the former exhale in relief, “You have filled your quota of joke for tonight.” In response, Natasha raised her hands in surrender, and backed off.

There are more stories, truths and dares and cans of alcohol. Like, Ali asked Disha, if there was a choice, will she pick a promotion full of monetary benefits, or HAWKS. She did not miss a blink at that.

“Promotion.” Then glancing at Abhi, she added softly, “Sorry, Abhi.”

“Your decision, Disha. Just like it was ours when we decided to join the team.” He shrugged, seemingly unperturbed. Ali, unable to let it go that easily, pressed further, and she sighed.

“I have a full family to care about. Half of my salary goes for Papa. If I get more money, I can help them more.” Smiling self deprecatingly, she looked at Abhi, “You know I did a life insurance policy once we returned from Jungle mission? After Gira, I realized that was the best decision I made. If I am not there tomorrow, they will have a support.”

Ali looked at her as if seeing her for the first time, and she looked away, suddenly self conscious. She has revealed too much.

There was a final truth or dare before the games died down to lazy chit chats. Abhi got Sameera, and the smirk he gave made her realize he will probably settle the score for ‘Ali or me’ comment.

“I pick truth.” She said immediately, making him laugh.

“I did not ask yet, Sameera.” He straightened, making others look at them with anticipation, “Ok, truth then. What about 10 questions back to back? No thinking, speak what comes to your mind first.” She nodded, “Ready?” She nodded again, and he started.

“Ali.”

“Food.” Samrat laughed at that, and Ali whined with a ‘Sam!’, to which she mouthed an apology.

“Disha.”

“Sweet.”

“Veer sir.”

“Respect.”

“Sky.”

“Flying.”

“Love.”

“Abhi.” A smile immediately formed on his face which she mimicked, her eyes sparkling in the bonfire. But he had a score to settle, hence he did not dwell on it more.

“Hate.”

“Chilly.”

“Maa?”

“Life.”

“Miss?”

“Dad.” The moment the word came out, a pin drop silence followed. Abhi cursed himself mentally, apology on his lips, but beside him Samrat had already walked away to her place, crouched down and gave her a big hug, both of them swaying. He mouthed a silent sorry at her, and she gave a small smile in return- it was fine.

“Okay?” Samrat whispered. When he was satisfied with the look on her face, he came back to his seat. After that nobody had any desire to play more, so they chose to settle of having small talks. It was late, and they should go to back to their rooms, but neither made a move- laziness, or maybe they wanted this moment to stretch on. Sometime later, Natasha felt a weight over her and turned her head- Sameera was tired, and unconsciously was leaning onto her. Silently, she supported her, sharing a look with Disha that it was time for bed.

Then Ali’s voice boomed across the silence, “Shikha?” It was enough to shake Sameera off her drowsiness. For a few moment she blinked, taking in the scene- the boys and Disha had gotten up to greet the impeccably groomed lady in casual t shirt and shorts emerging from shadows, how Samrat was the first one to greet her with a smile and full hug, followed by Abhi. She shook hands with Ali and Disha, had a small chatter on things which did not really register with Sameera. For a moment she thought maybe she had too much drink.

“There is not enough alcohol in your system to hallucinate that.” Natasha muttered beside her, and she realized she had spoke out loud, also she was leaning heavily on her. But thankfully it was low enough that only she heard that, but she could not find the energy to move off her colleague- the shock of seeing Shikha out of nowhere coupled with the cans was probably too much.

Shikha turned to them with a wide smile, sauntered and then crouched down to their level, “Hey, Sameera.” She kissed her cheeks quickly, making the former blink, and then whispered, “Thanks for inviting me.” Just like with Sameera, this was something only Natasha could hear, and she raised her eyebrow at her friend. Sameera tried to smile politely, suddenly wanting to escape the place.

The gathering effectively dissolved post this.

Sameera was tossing and turning on her bed, blanket upto her chin and the plush mattress under her dipped whenever she moved. She tried to be quiet, but that was not necessary. On the other bed, Natasha was leaned over the headrest, scrolling through her phone. Seeing her friend’s movement, she smirked.

“When you are not sleepy, don’t trouble the mattress.” At the dry tone, Sameera smiled at her sheepishly, turning to face her. Their eyes met for a moment, then the former was back on her phone.

“The AC.” Natasha and Disha both likes AC temperature to be lower. It also meant Sameera slept with blanket covering her from head to toe, but of course, she said nothing.

“You like it.” In response, the blanket came upto her nose, eyes sparkling in mischief. Deciding it was enough of passing time, Natasha turned to her, one pillow under her arm as she supported her head on palm.

“Tell me, when did you get the brilliant idea to invite Shikha?”

Sameera blinked at that, muttering, “I did not really invite her.”

“Explain.”

She sighed, whispering as if they were two kids sharing secrets and parents were spying upon them, “Before the trip, I went to mall to grab a few things. Shikha was there, and we were talking. She saw the shopping bags and asked, so I answered. Then it just came up, you know?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at that silently, making the former hide inside her security of blanket, “I said, ‘If you want you can come with us.’ She did not reply anything that time.”

“And yet, she is here, strolling through the very same corridors as us.” Natasha sighed.

“She is here for vacation?”

She smirked, “You were really dazed back then, eh? No, Sam. She is here for some meeting with her modelling agency. She arrived yesterday it seems, and was supposed to leave tomorrow. But of course, now that Samrat and by extension, Abhi had asked her to stay back, she will stay. Probably accompany us tomorrow as well.” Rolling eyes, she fixed Sameera with a stare, “Have a talk with Samrat, will you? Maybe he is looking to dethrone you with someone else, or maybe he wants a new girlfriend.”

“They seem friendly.” Sameera muttered to herself. Samrat was friendly with everyone, more so with opposite gender. Also, what was she supposed to say? If he likes someone good for him. But more pressing matters were present, for example she may not have thought much before informing Shikha, but she was here. Abhi looked okay tonight, but maybe he was worried too. And the rest of them, they did not really know Shikha beyond one or two meetings between them, now they were sharing a full day with her. On one side she wanted to inform them all and take all the complaints coming towards her, the other side, which was too embarrassed, wanted to go through it as quickly as possible. They were friends, right?

“You know how many hotels are in Goa?” Natasha’s words brought her back to present, and she saw her going through her phone. Sensing her gaze, she showed her the phone screen.

“14523.” Sameera read out loud.

“And five start resorts? Less so.” She muttered, clicking a button of the phone and the room was semi dark again, “Of all the resorts on this tiny place, and she walks into the one booked by us. The probability of that is insane, is not it Sam?” But Sameera did not think much, and sensing her naivety, she shook head. Natasha can’t wait for this trip to be over now, and she hoped whatever the boys have planned for tomorrow is so good that it keeps all of them busy to dwell over relationship drama surrounding the three. Both for their sake and for Abhi-Sam.

Sameera’s eyes went around the room, suddenly realizing they were missing Disha. “Where is Di?”

“She did not come yet.” Natasha answered with a hint of mischief. Before she could open her mouth and answer, the door opened quietly, and the woman in question entered, footsteps light. Realizing the roommates were still awake, she blinked.

“Where were you?” Sameera half sat up. In response, she gave a half smile.

“Just strolling outside. Were you guys waiting for me?” They both nodded, “Oh, let me just freshen up. It’s late, we all should get sleep.”

But sleep did not come even when Disha come back, obviously distracted as she sat on the other side of bed which she and Sameera shared, fingers running through Sameera who seemed drowsy, but not ready to sleep yet. She could feel Natasha’s stare burning her skin from the other side, but tried not to show her discomfort. The girls chit chatted a bit, and of course topic of Shikha came up.

“This madam right here invited her.” At Natasha’s words, Sameera groaned, pulling the blanket over her head and squeezing her eyes shut. Disha let out a chastised ‘Sam!’ at the revelation, removing the blanket and tussling her hair all over the place.

“I did not really invite?”

“She ran into her in a mall and told her she can come.” Natasha was ever so helpful, and Sameera frowned at her.

“That sounds like a invitation.” Disha sighed, “Sam, I understand you are good to everyone, but maybe you should have think it through.”

“I am sorry for making you all uncomfortable.” She muttered, voice low.

“It’s not that.” She shook head, “Abhi must feel uncomfortable. Their relationship did not end the best way, did it? There was too much heartbreak and pain.”

From the other side, Natasha muttered cryptically, “Well, she seemed fine to me hugging Abhi.” Then unceremoniously, her head hit the pillow, “Enough of chit chat. I am sleepy.”

The girls laid in silence, each lost in her own thoughts.

But no matter how much she tried, sleep did not come to Sameera that night. Soon she could see first rays of sun hitting the room, and slowly she got up, carefully removing the hand of Disha which had fallen on her during her sleep. Tip toeing, she went out, walking till the point from where sand starts. Leaning against a coconut tree, she saw the sun rising slowly, lighting up the earth and chasing away the darkness.

Fingers intertwined hers and she felt someone pressed closer- Abhi, of course. They silently watched the sun rise, then she turned to him, smiling slightly. His thumb brushed under her eyes, making her eyes shut down as a sigh escaped her lips.

“No sleep last night?” From the look on his face, he did not get any either.

“It was late. But why you did not sleep?” At that question, he snorted.

“Your best friend knocked at my door around 3am. Said Ali snores so much, hence he wants to sleep in my room. After that, there was no sleep.” Shaking head at his colleagues, his eyes ran over her face, fixing small strands of hair escaping and flying in the ever present wind. Even tired, slightly sleepy with ruffled hair, dressed in long sleeved t shirt and pajamas, she was still so adorable then he just wanted to hug her tight and never let go. She let him be for a while, but then she frowned, pressing lips. He wondered what was going through her head.

“I am supposed to be mad at you.” She spoke as if she had forgotten about that, and Abhi had to bite his cheek to stop the smile threatening to escape.

“Why is that?”

“Natasha was teasing me last night, you did not say anything.” Huffing, she tried to move, but his arms were caging her against the tree. One hand went around her waist, pulling her flush close to him, other hand on the back of her neck as he planted his lips on her devouring her completely. Startled, her fingers clutched at the fabric of his t shirt with all her strength, and slowly she returned the kiss. Once necessity of air turned up, they moved apart, forehead resting. He was pleased to see her swollen thanks to him, and unable to resist, leaned down once again to taste them.

“As much as I am enjoying here,” His voice was gruff, making her look up shyly, “I can’t wait to go back.”

“I like it here.” She protested, and he smiled, brushing their nose.

“Me too, baby. But going back means you will be close to me, and we will be in my place, away from everyone’s eyes.” He hugged her tight, burying his nose in the crook of her neck, “Day after tomorrow.” He pacified himself, and felt her smiling.

“What have you planned for today?”

“That’s a surprise.” She sighed in impatience at the words, making him chuckle, “Just for a few hours, Sameera. Wait?”

They stayed like that for a while, content to be in each others presence until Sameera asked, “You okay? After last night?”

He should have asked her that, and she was asking. As usual, taking care of others need before her. Breaking their embrace, he gazed at her face, finding nothing but concern for him.

“Surprised, yes. But I am fine.” Sameera tried to say something but he shook head, “We have made our peace with it, Sameera. It’s okay. Shikha wanted us to be friends.”

“Do you?”

“I don’t mind.” He shrugged. He did not really care, if Shikha had wanted nothing to do with him, that would have suited him just fine. But he was lucky that she was behaving normally with him, there was no taunts or accusing looks. Like matured adults, they have moved in their separate ways, and for that he will always be thankful to her.

“That’s good, I guess.” She smiled, then looked at the ocean. The sun had rose fully and heat have started to seep through their clothes- they should really go in. Before he could say that, she asked, “Want to go to beach?”

So they went to beach, holding hands, splashing water on each other, chasing one another across the waves and sand, getting half wet in the process. She collected shells- so many that his pockets were full and her hands were overflowing, but her smile was so bright, so blinding that he could only stare, transfixed. It was so easy to make her happy, she finds it in small things. A mug of tea, some flowers, the stars, these shells. Simple, seemingly unimportant things matter to her so much.

That’s how Disha and Ali found the two, Sameera babbling on something and hands full of shells, Abhi grinning at her, taking in the infectious smile and constant slew of words. When the former saw the friends, she greeted them excitedly, immediately filling Disha’s hands and Ali’s pants pockets with shells.

“Are not they so pretty?” Sameera was gushing when they returned, showing one big, white shell on her hand to Abhi. He nodded, his earlier smile never leaving his face.

“Very.”

Abhi and Samrat’s surprise made all of them jumping with excitement, also dread. They drove an hour on the outskirts of main city, hiked a few minutes until they reached a cliff like place. They could see the ocean under the cliff as wave crashed into the stones, and when Sameera peered down, someone shook her. Before she panicked and almost fell down, a hand grabbed hers, pulling her away from the edge.

“Samrat!” She chastised, making the former laugh. They were here to spend the last day. There will be cliff jump, bonfire, beach volley, music and food. They settled their things, changed quickly, and lined in a pair of two to jump from the cliff to the water. Samrat was first, along with Ali as their excited shout echoed through the empty space. Abhi and Sameera followed, hands clasped tightly. Once under water, time stopped for a moment and all she could see the blue water around her. Then a strong hand grabbed her and she was above the water with a gasp, both of laughing loudly as adrenaline coursed through them. Natasha followed suit, reluctantly holding hand with Shikha who shrieked as they crashed into water, just before time Abhi pulled Sameera to his chest so that the four of them don’t crash. Disha was left, so Ali got out of water, walked a murky trail reaching upto the cliff, ignored her protests and jumped with her in the water. The group swam a bit away from the cliff to deeper waters, feeling big waves and soft ones crashing onto them repeatedly. Hours passed like this and one by one, they got out of water.

Food and some more rounds of cliff jumping later, the groups played beach volley, sans Sameera who was content to sit on the ground and observe them, occasionally reading the book Veer sir had recommended but she never got the time to finish it. It was a boys vs girls match hence there were loud protests of cheating, unfair skin show to dazzle the other party (more so from girls. Natasha would not mind shedding a few clothes but Shikha was downright teasing dressed in a bikini which was covered in a white, semi transparent robe coming till her knees. The boys tried to be modest, but Ali’s mouth won’t close and Samrat never shied away from compliments.) and wrong fouls on both side. Disha was unbeatable- she loved the game, and there came a point when she and Ali were the main people playing the game.

Natasha glanced at her partner and realized her focus was on someone else. Of course, Shikha could not stop looking at Abhi- maybe the setting was so different than what she was used to with him, maybe it’s the surprise that he can be so different. So affectionate to another human being, looking so much in love. Shikha had thought at a point in her relationship that like his Father, Abhi was one of those men who were not really affectionate and asking for any display would be a constant battle throughout her life. But clearly, this was not the case- he was just with the wrong person and had no desire to do so. The moment this trip started, she had eyes on him, just to see how was he with Sameera- probably too masochist of her, or maybe general curiosity. He did not disappoint, and it left her with longing and bitter taste in her mouth. She had to constantly remind herself that he was not intentionally cruel to her, he just did not love her.

For example, when they came out of water and they all were drying up, he walked near Sameera and gently patted her hair dry. And now, they had a small break in their game, he sat near her and took the book from her, turning a few pages as they talked. More like Sameera talked and he listened. And it was not like he was the only one seeking her out- Sameera smiled at him as if he was the world. Her smile was enough- gratitude, love, affection. At times, Shikha feels her chest hurt just by looking at them and she has to control her breathing, force her chin up and smile to ease it.

“Look at them.” Natasha stood near her, handing over a chilled bottle of drink which she took appreciatively- she was probably staring like a creep, “They get lost in each other. As if the world did not exist.”

She nodded at that- they actually do, and it was not like they did it actively. It was like they were enough for each other. May love is supposed to feel and look like that. Behind them, Ali shouted for Sameera to join, and she denied at first- apparently, she was no good. But Abhi silenced her protest with a look, and she got up, handing her book to him before running fingers through the page, memorizing the number as her eyebrows wrinkled.

“Page number 163, Abhi.” With that, she moved. And it must say something about how obsessive Shikha was being that she noticed, how Abhi’s fingers moved through the exact same places like Sameera, before he bookmarked the page and closed the book, holding it close to him.

Shikha turned away- she had seen enough.

When darkness descended and bonfire cackled, they filled their stomach with enough food and liquor that they were content to sit and lay circling the fire, lazing around. The day had tired them all, but it was so much fun that they will miss it immediately the moment they left. There were praises for the duo who planned it- Abhi tipped his head silently at the words, Samrat beating his chest and preening. There were stories about their life- how Samrat grew up lonely after his parents died (They were not there when they were alive, so death did not feel any different), how Ali joined air force (I had a bet with a class mate, he called me too stupid to get into NDA. I did not get into NDA, but this was better right?), Shikha’s modelling agency and current contract, (I will head to Milan next week, the contract is finalized. I met the clients- italians are hot!) and Abhi’s school days, (I may not look like it, but I was the best prankster the school had ever seen. Mom was pissed, Dad was happy). The conversation moved to Samrat and Sameera’s friendship which started years ago, particularly on the day they both sat for the entrance exam of IAF. Sameera was content to sit back and let him tell the stories, no matter how much exaggeration he adds to them. His animated hand gestures and expressive face makes the tales ten time funnier.

“Your missy, right there,” Samrat was saying to Abhi, who had Sameera tucked under his arm, “has an uncanny ability to sleep at any place, any time, when she is tired. The before our exam, she pulled an all nighter. It was three hour paper, she finished it 2. I came out after the exam was over, looked around in the college campus. It was an unknown place, a good 54 km from our location, and we had arrived together and was supposed to book a cab and go back together, but madam was nowhere to be found. Finally, I find her in library, sleeping on a table. Just like now.” They all looked at Sameera amused, who had by now, sleeping against Abhi’s chest. More than 24 hours of awake time later her eyes had given up, “She sleeps with her mouth open, did you notice?”

At that, all burst out in laughter, and Sameera woke up, frowning as she shifted. Abhi looked down, amused smile turning apologetic as he helped her to move. She was still leaning against him, sleepy eyes narrowed at Samrat.

“What?” Her tone was slow, stressing over the word.

“I was just saying you are the worst sleeper.” Samrat smirked, to which her look remained the same. After a long time, she replied with one word.

“Prat.” Everyone doubled with laughter at that.

It was time to leave, and just for that time Sameera was completely awake. The full moon light gave an other worldly glow to the cliff and the ocean, the horizon so far away from reach then her fingers reached up, painting in the air. Bye, she said in her mind, hoping fiercely that someday, she can come back again.

Abhi held her hand, making her turn to him, “We will visit someday.” She smiled widely at that, and when he tugged at her hand, reluctantly started walking away, eyes never leaving the moonlit ocean and horizon away from her.

The HAWKS team was prepared to leave the next day, all packed and vehicle ready to drive off. Luggage and members arrived one after another outside the hotel, except Abhi and Sameera. He had went to her room to help her with her bag, but they were both late when she was looking for this missing pair of a stud she had wore the previous day.

She sadly looked at the mirror reflection of her own, sighing to herself. Then a hand came to her vicinity, and inside the palm was her stud. She took it, happily spinning around to face Abhi who had a warm smile of his own.

“Where did you find it?”

“You almost dropped it yesterday in water.” She mouthed a thank you, turning towards the mirror again to wear it. Abhi’s fingers helped the move the hair away, listening intently to her chatter as she wore the ring, fixed her dress and hair, finally ready to leave.

“You know, this is the first thing I bought with my salary. Only 150rs, but aren’t these pretty?” She showed off her earrings as if he did not notice them before. In response, he quickly kissed her cheek, almost brushing over the corner of her lips.

“Very.” He looked around the room, “All things packed?”

“Yes.” She moved near the bed, the bag over it and quickly zipped it, “You could have waited outside.”

“I wanted to come with you.” She shook head at the reply, smiling to herself.

“You know, someday you have to move all alone without me, then it . . . “ But the words died down when he spun her around, almost making her bang against his chest. Startled, she gasped, reaching for his arm blindly to steady herself. A scolding was ready, but the words died on his lips- Abhi in anger was a scary sight to behold, and in less than few well chosen words, she had made him upset.

“Don’t say that.” His tone was low, biting out the words. His fingers moved downwards, and she flinched suddenly- it had made contact with her elbow wound. She cursed herself inwardly, trying to smile and move away from him. But Abhi won’t let her, the earlier anger replaced by worry and accusation.

“What is it?” He tried to see her arm.

“Nothing.”

“Show me.” When she struggled, he stressed, “Sameera.” So she gave up, rolled up the sleeve and showed him. His fingers delicately moved over the area, leaving goosebumps on their wake. Inhaling sharply at the wound, he looked at her.

“When it happened?”

“On the day we went to see the church.” She was worrying if she should let it be or conceal the incident that happened, and decided to go with it at the risk of ruining the day. Slowly, she narrated that day, and with growing unease saw his despair and anger and his jaw clenched. Once she was done, he said nothing, slowly unrolled her sleeve, took her bag and quietly started to move.

“Abhi?” She dreaded his anger, but this silence was somehow worst. He won’t even look at her.

“Others are waiting.” He kept the door wide open as he left.

The car ride was silent, and Abhi, as courteous and polite as always, was cold. Probably others sensed it too, judging by looks they kept throwing at Sameera who, unable to meet their eyes, oscillated between looking outside and glancing at Abhi. But he won’t give her an inch, and each time she was disappointed. The only person who did not sense the tension (or choosing not to) was Shikha, as she talked with others, hummed a song, took a nap and scrolled through her phone.

Co-incidentally, Abhi Shikha and Sameera were the last people in the car. Sameera wanted to stay with her Maa for a few days, and Shikha’s house was on the way. Abhi politely ignored her request to come in- Sunaina was still angry, and he just wanted to go home and unwind. Shikha, probably sensing his hesitation and tiredness, smiled.

“Thank you, you both.” He frowned at Shikha, “For inviting me and letting me be around. This trip was amazing, and I am glad you let us be friends.” Shikha waved a bye and left, and it was only when he looked at Sameera who looked even more guilty if possible, put two and two together. The secrecy started way back, it seems- she invited Shikha! Not that her presence mattered to him that much, but the fact that Sameera never mentioned it and chose to let him be in dark just added fuel to the previous anger. He drove towards her home, ignoring all the silent pleas she threw at him, and looked right past her when he stopped the car and helped her get down with the luggage.

“Abhi, I am sorry.” He had half a mind to yell about it- sorry for what? And why it had to come down to sorry? But they had a trip, and they both were tired, and he really should take time for himself before unleashing on her. He tried to calm himself, forced a smile and glanced at her, quickly before he could see the apology in those orbs.

“I will see you tomorrow at base.” Over their shoulders, Sapna had come out. She gestured him to come in but he denied, waited until Sameera moved away reluctantly, and drove off only when the ladies got inside and the door closed.

He need some time to unravel it.

Soon, everyone knew it was Sameera who had (semi) invited Shikha. Just like what friends do, after the initial complaints and scoldings, decided to tease her- it was only because Samrat was making those ‘being friends with ex GF’ comments that she decided to let them be. She had invited those upon her. Friends were fine, but she wanted to apologize and clear her side to Abhi, who won’t give her any time of the day. Of course he was busy, but it looked like he was actively avoiding her outside working hours. She let him be for 5 days, but after that she decided enough. She wanted to call, or turn outside his door unannounced- both are probably way over stepping boundary, but she was desperate. She understood his anger and need to be distant to calm himself down, but she had given him enough time. To her, anyway. Days and nights seemed to blur for her in last few days, dividing between waking hours of work and hours when she should but unable to, cursing to her childishness which led to grave mistake of hurting him. She single handed ruined their best time to a time full of secrets and lies.

Abhi heard a knock one evening, and half hoped, half dreaded to open it. He wanted it to be Sameera, also he did not. He would be happy to see her, but also won’t be happy- it was a weird place to be in, loving someone so much but also not wanting to be in their presence due to something they have done. And he knew, in last couple of days he had spent avoiding her, that it was not because she hid two things during their trip. Something was shimmering under him and he needed to reign in it before it comes out and hurt her.

But of course, it was Sameera. A hopeful smile was on her face, which changed quickly as she must have seen his blank face staring back in return. He could see her wheels turning on- apology ready on her lips to drop by unannounced, feet ready to leave, and yet wanting to stand there and say her piece. Deciding to make the decision for both of them, he backed away, silently letting her in.

She came inside, hesitantly closing the doors and taking off her shoes- he always used to tell her there was no need for that, she always took them off. Today, he said nothing. For a moment she almost felt eyes brimming with tears- this was probably a wrong idea, she was just making him uncomfortable. If he needed space to forgive her or to talk to her, she should do it, right? But she was being stupid now, just like she was being stupid to hide a small injury or invite his ex on a trip. She glanced at him hesitantly- his face was still blank. Or maybe it was annoyed, he was good with hiding emotions when he was angry or upset. She wanted to reach out, touch his arm, cup his face with both of her hands and wanted to apologize, over and over again until that blank expression break. If he wanted to yell, she would take it. If he wanted her to leave, she will do that too. But he gave her nothing, and she realized that hoping for that was selfish too. He owed her nothing.

One mistake after another.

She can not do it, Sameera said to herself, whatever bravado made her to come to his place fleeing. Abhi could immediately sense her emotions shift- she had not moved an inch from the place where she usually keeps her shoes, and beside glancing at him for a few moments, she had spoke nothing. Probably feeling his curious gaze on her, Sameera immediately looked down, slipping into her shoes.

“I . . . “ Her voice cracked and she started again, clearing throat, “Sorry to drop by . . . like this. Won’t happen again. Sor . . . sorry.” Hastily, she grabbed the door, and whatever thin line of patience Abhi had flew out of the window.

“You are leaving, just like that?” His arms crossed over his chest, and the harsh tone made her pause at the door, “Why would you come if you have nothing to say?”

“I wanted to say.” She replied softly, but it looked like she was speaking to the door as she did not turn, “But I think you need more time.”

“Really? You are going to make that decision for me too?” He was relentless, and maybe now that he was talking, made her turn to face him, “Just like you made the decision to hide an injury for me? Or when you invited someone to a trip we both shared with our friends and colleagues and did not even bother to inform me about that? I did not even say that you need my permission, Sameera, but you at least could have dropped a line. Can you imagine how surprised I might have felt when Shikha informed me that? I apparently invited her and I did not know it.” He finished that sarcastically, nostrils flaring in anger. Uncrossing his arms, he took a step toward her, and all Sameera could do was stare, frozen against the door as she gripped on it tightly, “A bunch of goons were after you girls and you won’t even tell me that. You were hurt, no matter how big or small, but you won’t tell me that. I have shared everything with you but apparently you can’t do the same to me, why is that so? What I need to do to make you trust me? Trust!” The sudden rise of tone made her jump, “All I have asked from you is trust, Sameera! Since the beginning, all the time, always. Trust. But I can’t see it from your side.”

“It was not about trust.” Finding her voice, Sameera replied- she could take the anger, but she won’t let him think she don’t trust him. Never that. “I did not want to ruin the trip.”

“Really? Ruin for who?” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “You know, I saw the bandage and what that took me? When you were lying unconscious in my arms and there was none around.” Her face paled at that, “It may seem nothing to you, but it wrecked me. And what did you say before that? Someday you might not be there? Well guess what, Sameera.” He bit out her name, eyes flashing dangerously, “I have lived through a world without you. For months. Months.”

She had really pushed it this time, and the saddest part was, like usual, she had no idea it could impact him like this. She wanted to reach out, but it did not look like a good idea, hence settled on apologizing- the only thing she can do, really. If only her voice will work, it was raw with unshed tears and her throat was too dry to even speak. “I . . . am really sorry.”

“And that will fix nothing!” He shouted the words as if a curse, and there was this sinking feeling inside her, It was over, over over, and the way he looked at her, face full of hurt and away as much as possible, it almost made her fall into her knees. And all that over a trip and two secrets she thought did not matter. But it did matter to him on a subconscious level, and it bothered him so much that he can’t even look her into eyes.

He probably hated her.

Even though he was blind in rage, Abhi could sense her every emotion, and almost expected her to say something. He was too far gone for apology, and maybe if she had come closer, held his hands, and maybe made him look into her eyes, it would had been over in a moment. But she was scared- to see hatred in his eyes, to see that, maybe, it was over from his side. So, like a coward she lowered her head, and turned, trying to slip into her shoes as quickly as possible as tears clouded her vision. When she tried to speak, it came out scratchy.

”I . . . should leave. So . . . sorry to drop by like this. Bye.”

“Wait.” Abhi almost got whiplash at her changing mood. Deep down maybe he was hoping for a longer argument where she keeps her side and they end it tonight, but she withdrew, as sudden as her arrival was. Exhaling softly, he continued, “Let me come till base.”

“It’s okay.” Before he can reply to that, she opened the door and rushed, almost tripping on her feet. Of course, he followed, cursing as he locked the door and ran after her. He kept distance between them and saw from shadows as she walked in, her steps hurried and shoulders hunched. Once or twice she glanced at the shadow- she knew it was him, of course. But she entered through those gates and never looked back, and for a moment Abhi wondered if he had taken the fight too far. He knew it was really not about Shikha, and lesser about ‘lies’. It was something else, and he was staying away to work through it. Now that he had unloaded all his frustration on her, it only made him ill.

He has hurt her.

He need to do something before either of them gets more hurt.

Sameera was seldom in positions where she had to wait on something- apart from exam results, she realized. It was worst when she was waiting on a possible death knell on a relationship, and the thought just made her wanted to curl into a bed and cry. The downside of a close knitted group of friends meant everyone knew everything- soon, they came to know that Abhi and Sam were fighting. Of course, her red rimmed eyes, small smiles and lack of conversation did not help much. They knew their intervention was not needed, hence they were respectful about it, and for some reason, on her side. At times, Sameera wanted to tell everything, wanted to tell them ‘I am not the one you should support. I hurt him!’. But she never did. And just like those days when she spent more time in the sky than ground, she went flying for hours, to escape. Escape her friends on the ground, escape her soon to be crumbling relationship, escape heartache, escape guilt that how can she ruin something so beautiful, so quickly.

She saw Abhi, but her officer mode was on then. A subordinate to her boss. There was no warmth from his side, and neither could she muster courage to confront him again. She won’t do that in workplace, it was too sacred for both of them. Also, she was waiting- for him to say it. Waiting so that she can prepare herself for the worst.

She don’t sleep much these days, Abhi’s anger and those eyes burn through her soul and make her gasp for breath. At night, she strolls at times- outside dorm, in the garden. Now that she was ‘dating’ the boss, they just observed. Nobody objected to anything.

One night, she saw Samrat sneakily entering heading towards boy’s room, obviously coming from somewhere. Frowning, she headed towards him, and before he could get inside, held onto his arm and dragged him away.

“What?” Before he could yell or hit at an intruder, she instinctively ducked, her hand on his mouth. His eyes widened, but almost immediately those relaxed, glinting mischievously in the dark.

“I am impressed.” She rolled eyes at that, glancing around. Thankfully, nobody were around, and they were hiding well in a shadow, against the wall which separated boys dorm from the rest of base.

“Where were you?”

“Outside, obviously.” At the smartass remark, she hit his arm lightly. Of course, he flinched dramatically, “Ouch.”

“The truth, please?”

“And what about your truth?” His smirk vanished as he spoke, looking into her confused eyes, “Could not sleep because of Abhi?” She stilled at that, “Do you want me to intervene? I am not trying, just offering.”

She shook head- they both knew she will never ask him to do that, “You are diverting.”

He rolled eyes, “Fine. I was outside.”

“That I know, silly. I want to know why?”

“What do you think I was outside?” He crossed arms, leaning against the wall, looking smug. She frowned at him, almost understanding the hidden meaning behind his words, also in disbelieve.

“You went to meet a girl?!”

“Duh.” He replied, “Close enough. I went to speak to her. On a pay booth, like the old fashioned way. And before,” She opened her mouth, ready to ask more he cut her off, “you ask why not call from base, is because the timing. She is busy, I am under curfew at this time. This is better.”

“Wow.” She murmured in awe, “She must be very special.”

“You have no idea.” He stressed slowly, for a moment looking serious. Now that her theory was confirmed, Sameera wanted to know more.

“What’s her name? Where she lives? What she does? Where did you meet? Since how long . . . “

“Whoa whoa whoa.” He raised both hands in air, glancing around nervously, “Relax Sam.” He chuckled, and she looked down, smiling sheepishly, “I can’t tell much, but it’s new. And, uncharted territory for me.” He snorted, “Once it’s settled, I will tell you everything.”

She can live with that. Patting his arm, she spoke sincerely, “I am happy for you.”

“Thank you.” He bowed down, “I think we both should head back.” She nodded, ready to leave, but he caught her wrist, “And Sam? My offer stands. Always. Just you have to say the words.”

Pressing her lips, she nodded. But they both knew the offer will not be taken.

Sameera was in a flying session with Natasha, who was gracious enough to offer that she can pilot for both of them, also looked determined to talk about something. No doubt about what, she mused to herself, suddenly feeling suffocated inside the jet. They were in constant communication with ground technical staff and Trainer Rawte, and he was saying something.

And everything suddenly zoned out when Abhi spoke in their ears, “Lower your altitude and head for 437km east side. It’s an abandoned industrial area which was previously occupied by OACL, take a ride around it.” Sameera could feel Natasha glancing at her, but all she could do was stare at consoles, cherishing his voice. He did not directly spoke to her, but him being in her ears almost felt like they were alone and he was crooning in her ears.

She was in jitters when they touched down, and when she walked into locker room, Abhi was already there sitting on a bench. Almost as if he was waiting on her. The look of panic must have shown on her face as he slowly got up, both hands in air in surrender, “Hey.” After a brief moment of silence where she felt like she was rising and crumbling all over again under his intense stare, he said, “Maybe we can talk outside?”

They ended up in the same alley where once upon a time, he bought her ice cream and kissed her cheek. Time, they spoke about that. A lot of time has passed post that, they had come a long way. Taking in the empty space, she prayed to her God- please, let not be the end. Let not this place mark their end. Please, oh god. Please.

They were walking side by side, and Abhi started speaking. After a while he realized she had heard nothing, lost in her head as she looked down, walking in a trance. It was further established when he stopped moving but she continued, completely oblivious to her surroundings. “Hey.” Gently, he held her wrist, and he could feel the shudder going through her. For a moment he panicked too- maybe his outburst on the other day scared her so much that she was repulsed by his touch.

But then her head moved up and he saw those eyes- wide, full of fear and pain. And nothing mattered anymore, his anger, his upset, her secrecy, nothing. Pulling her to him, he hugged her tight, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

“I am sorry, I am so so sorry.” He said it over and over again until she snapped out of her trance, feeling something akin to warmth for the first time in days. Maybe they had hope after all. Slowly, her arms raised up, but they stopped, silently seeking permission.

“Hold me.” His voice was soft, so she did. Tentatively, but then with all her might. If this was the last time, if he wanted nothing to do with her after this night, she will have this. And other countless memories of time they spent together. Those will be enough. His hold tighten around her, and after a long time, they moved apart. Her fingers instinctively clutched at his shirt.

“I am sorry. I should not have spoken to you like that. I am sorry for yelling at you. I am sorry for not handling my emotions well and making you cry. I am sorry for being apart.” He cupped her face with both of his palms, looking deep into her eyes as she looked back, those beautiful orbs filled with unshed tears. When he kissed those eyes, those flew freely, and his thumb immediately brushed them away.

“I was wrong. Should not have . . . “ Her voice broke, and after a few moments she started, “Stupid of me. Sorry.” Holding onto his hands, she spoke sincerely, “I never meant to hurt you. That wound, Shikha.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook head at that.

“It does. And I will be better next time. Ask you. Tell you everything- every small things. I trust you, with everything. Maybe someday you will believe me.” Brushing off her tear soaked cheeks, she tried to smile wobbly.

Abhi shook head, sadness rolling off him listening to her words, “I do believe you. And I know that those were not intentional. I also know you keep other people before you, always have and always will. I apologize if I made you feel that way. And I am not asking you to seek my permission, Sameera. Just share things with me, okay?”

“Okay.” She nodded, feeling hopeful, “So . . . I . . . we, I mean, still . . . ?”

He frowned, not getting her question, “What?”

“You came to see me. I thought you came to tell me it’s,” She gestured between them, and his eyes widened in shock at the implication, “over.” She smiled sadly, “Not like . . .I mean, if you had said that . . . maybe a deal breaker, right? Going behind back. Breaking trust. Foundation of any relationship.”

“God.” He had to take a step away, letting it sink in. No wonder she looked so scared, so zoned out. Him staying away let her feel he might end the relationship, it made him sick that his silence translated to that. Sameera’s momentary smile vanished, eyes widen in panic. Again blaming herself for his change of expression or how he moved away.

“I should not have . . . sorry.” The sorry’s were back. Along with looking away and cowering onto herself. Earlier it was about how she needed time, now it was how she upset him.

“Hey.” He held her hands, rubbing his thumbs on the back of her hand in order to calm her down,  “It’s okay. I am here. I just. . . could not believe me being away you made you feel that way. Or that you thought that. I promise you tonight- after this, whatever argument we have, I will never do this. Pull myself away, shut you out, or avoid you. I will express my feelings, we will have conversations, we may agree or disagree. But this won’t happen. I promise.” He held his hand in air, just like she does whenever she asks for one. Sameera glanced at it for a few moment, before intertwining her fingers through them, smiling softly.

He could breathe again.