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Hours after when their friends are done with them, Abhi and Sameera strolled in the garden of base, fingers brushing but not really holding onto each other. They sat on a wooden bench, and Abhi looked at her expectantly. She did not disappoint, albeit hesitant. She did not want to dampen his mood with her thoughts which maybe her over thinking.

“You have a lot of questions.” Abhi said after a while with an easy smile, leaning on the bench, “Should I explain?” At her nod, he started. Shikha had spoken to him for a long time, apologized for all the years he was in pain due to her Mother, how she herself was too blind to see his discomfort, how she pushed him for commitment when he was not ready. She apologized for the strained relationship between their families, and promised to speak to Veer sir on his behalf as he did nothing wrong. Abhi did not want her to, but it was Shikha- she would do what she wanted to. Nobody can stop her. It was clear from his words that Shikha did not blame him for anything, she herself was ashamed at the momentary weakness and vowed to get help so that she can handle her emotions better. At last, Shikha wished the best for them two, and wished for their happiness. Sameera was strangely relieved by the end of it, her earlier worries eased a bit. Samrat was right, Shikha was a strong woman. She would rise higher after all these.

Slumping in relief, she ran a hand through her hair, “I was so . . . I could not look into her eyes.” Abhi frowned at her words, “I kept thinking maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should not have said something. Maybe . . . “

He shushed her with a finger on her lips, eyes stern, “You had no hand in this. You did nothing wrong.” Tucking a strand of hair behind her ears, he tried to lighten the mood, “Maybe it’s time we all stop blaming ourselves. Start afresh.”

Sameera smiled, nodding at his words.

The previous routine continued, and after a while Sameera did not mind the teasing as much. Everyone was so happy after so long, and Abhi looked lighter, the comments were nothing if that makes him happy. Her days passed between HAWKS regime and Abhi, every evening after they both are free, they would stroll outside base, hands intertwined, and speak about their day. Most of the time their routines will be same, but Abhi will have some extra work to do. The Shehnaaz abscond thing was still hanging in air, and technically, they flushed out the mole and all was right, there was this nagging feeling inside him. As if it she can be found, the last piece of puzzle will fall into the place. He wished the other agencies find her out faster so that he can stop worrying.

He was talking about how Veer sir, seemed to be, coming around- his demeanour looked less stern, and even though they had not talked about what happened, Abhi could feel him softening. Probably Shikha has spoken to him. He was surprised to know Shikha kept in touch with Sameera, at times they spoke in phone too. But the Shehnaaz thing won’t stop bugging him, and after a while she stopped speaking and stared at him. He did not realize.

“I can feel your internal thoughts all the way through here.” She teased, tugging on his hand to make him stop. He was walking ahead and she had halted his steps, to check if his mind was still here. Clearly not. “May I ask if it’s related to work or something else?” There were things beyond HAWKS that Abhi knows, and she knew she may not have the authority, not as HAWKS member and certainly not as the woman he loves.

He gave a sheepish smile, coming back to her, “It’s Shehnaaz.” At her raised brow he clarified, “You remember that blind girl in Gira?”

“I know about it, Abhi. Disha filled me in.” Her eyes lingered on the place he was hurt previously in restaurant, “She hurt you.”

“I am fine now.” He squeezed their hands, “But she is still not found.”

“But you found the mole, is not it enough?”

“I don’t know. I have this feeling.” Shrugging, he let go of it. She was in deep thought as well and he silently cursed himself to make her worry, “Anyways, let’s change the topic. I heard Veer sir has praised you a lot for the last months performance?” At that, she blushed. Her flying hours were untouchable, her EQ scores were second best only to Abhi when he had taken during his time. He always knew she could do this, and hoped now that Veer sir told her so, she will be less hard on herself. She is a great human being and she should not doubt herself.

“He said I was doing good.” She mumbled.

“The best.” He was proud, pulling her close to him, “Now will you please be less hard on yourself? You are part of HAWKS, Sameera. A permanent member.”

“It’s difficult to believe.” She replied, happy at that same time struggling to feel the goodness others see in her, “From the day I have set foot in here, nothing went good. Investigations, almost court marshal.”

“And you came out of each of them. Because you are good.” She shook head at that, making him sigh. Someday, she will believe him, he will make sure of it. “What about we celebrate your great performance?”

“How?”

“We can go to dinner. At my place. I can cook.” At her surprised look he paused- maybe asking her to come to his apartment was too soon. Backtracking, he stuttered on his words, “Or we can go to a restaurant. There are some good ones. Um . . . “

Sameera smiled at his words, feeling playful, “Your place?”

“Not necessary. Just a suggestion.” Mentally kicking himself, he looked away.

“What will you cook?” At her question, he looked at her face. She was teasing, and he was relieved to see his words did not make her feel uncomfortable.

“You like paneer. I will make that.”

“Kheer?” He grinned at that. Of course, how can he forget.

“With lots of kaju.”

“Is it like a date?”

“Maybe.” She hummed at that, both of them starting to walk. Abhi was excited and also nervous as she did not answer for a long time. She enjoyed his impatience, and decided to end the suspense after a while.

“Tell me the date and time.”

His grin almost split his face in half.

The date was on a Sunday- the only common day they both could had free. She had insisted to walk to his place alone, and hesitated a bit before knocking at his door. The apartment building looked posh, and pretty sure she saw some foreign cars parked outside. Of course, Rathores were a well-to-do family, she had expected nothing less than this.

She looked down at her traditional salwar suit in navy blue color, running a hand over her stomach to straighten any lines. Taking a deep breath, she knocked.

Abhi opened the door in lightning speed, both of them grinning each other. They both were nervous, and for a while they stood at the door without saying anything. He recovered fast, then motioned her to come in.

She started to take off her sandal and he laughed, “There is no need for that.” She held onto his arm to balance.

“Habit.” Finally done, she gave him a smile, then looked at the living room. There was a delicious aroma of kheer, no doubt, and her mouth almost watered. He probably sensed that, judging by his look, and Sameera blushed, looking away.

“Let me show the place.”

It was a two bedroom apartment, with a guest room, Abhi’s room, living room which had a open spaced kitchen. The place was tastefully decorated- grey and white walls, modern furniture, tastefully hung paintings and had marble cum wooden flooring. It had a balcony too, and Sameera looked out, almost seeing the outlines of base.

When she turned, Abhi was leaning again the door, gazing at her warmly.

“This is such a beautiful place.” She gushed, “You can have plants here, you know.”

“Not really much time, Sameera.”

“They will just need water two times. You can put water before you leave and after you come back.” She had shared with him previously how she had a small flower garden back in her home town. Smita liked flowers too, even though not actively participated in gardening as staff handled that better.

“Okay.” He nodded, “What plants you think I should keep here?” She thought for a while, then gave her suggestion- roses, definitely. And some other flowers which Abhi never even heard of it, but tomorrow, he is going to call his mother first thing and ask for these plants. The next time Sameera comes, there will be a full fledged garden in the balcony.

His heart warmed thinking they will have more time like this in future.

“And here.” She stood next to Abhi, looking at the ceiling, “A wind charmer. They make such pretty sounds.”

“Trying to redecorate my place, are you Sameera?” At his teasing, she blinked.

“Sorry, did not mean to. Just a suggestion.” He sighed at that. Someday, they both will move past this awkward phase and show their authority over the other, without feeling like they might hurt feelings. He took her hand.

“Hey, I was just joking.” She was relieved, “Mom loves flowers. She will be delighted about the plants. And wind charmer, I am not sure. Can you give me more suggestion?”

“I will buy a pretty one and show you.” She beamed, him returning it with his one.

“And maybe we both can hang it.” She nodded, and then started to speak excitedly about his place, moving away from balcony. Chucking to himself, Abhi followed.

After a while when they found themselves in kitchen, Abhi serving their plates as Sameera stood leaning next to fridge, asking questions. She wanted to help, but he won’t have it. Maybe he remembered how bad she was back in Gira. She don’t know cooking, but she can help, right?

Apparently not.

“Can I have kheer first?” He gave her a look.

“If I do that, all these . . . “ He gestured at the dishes which looked too delicious, “will go waste. You will only eat Kheer then. So no, baby. Later.”

He called her that many times, and she always blushes and looks away.

“Can I help?” She asked when he set the table. He held onto her shoulder and made her sit on a chair.

“No. What kind of host I will be if I let you help?”

“But . . . “ He stopped her with a kiss on cheek.

“Stay. I will be right back.”

The food was delicious, of course, Abhi was the perfect host, always asking if the salt was good, if it’s not too much spicy, if she needed something. The conversation flew easily and there were a lot of laugh, and when she finally got the desert, she moaned at the familiar taste. Abhi blushed and looked away, taking a spoon full from his own bowl.

It was established, once again, that Abhimanyu Rathore was best at everything. It was impossible, but here we are.

Keeping a hand under her chin, she stared at him, unabashed. He stopped eating and met it with a look of his own, “What is it, Sameera?”

“Just thinking that you are best at everything.” She counted on fingers as he laughed, “You are the boss. You are a good leader, a good fighter pilot. You cook too. You sing. How can it be possible?”

“Genes, I guess.” He tried to sound arrogant, but failed miserably, “Cooking is not hard. Especially when you spend your school, college and then training in boarding school. Abhi . . . “ His face crumpled a bit and she held onto his hand, “He taught me, actually. Cooking. He always had so many complaints about cafeteria food back when we were in training.”

She pressed her lips tightly in sympathy, not wanting to venture into a topic which was till painful for him, “You say cooking is not hard. Remember Gira? Aunty will not stop complaining.” He laughed again, making her huff, “Leave that. Now I remember, Maa will never let be set foot in kitchen. I guess she was afraid I will set it on fire or something.”

“It’s fine. I will cook for you.”

“You stay busy . . . like always busy.” His mobile was on voicemail for tonight, so that he can check later if there was something urgent.

“I will always make time for you.” She was touched by the words, “At least,” He pointed at the kheer she had stopped eating, took a bit of kheer on her spoon, and made her eat, “I can make it sometime.”

Something clicked in her head, “So you did make it back in hospital.” When he stayed silent, she made a triumphing noise, “Haye. How did I get this lucky?”

His eyes were warm as he replied, “I think it’s the other way around.” She looked down, suddenly self conscious, “Never thought I will have this. This . . . peace.”

After the dinner was done, they sat on couch and spoke on lengths about random topics. It of course, turned to whatever happened once she left for her home town, and Abhi let it all out. Maybe a heavy topic for a first date, but he was done hiding and she was eager to know. He revealed about the facebook friendship between his friend and Shikha, how during one training session Abhi’s flight crashed and he died along with another female officer and a trainer, how Shikha mistook him for the Abhi she used to chat and things went downhill from there. Suddenly, she remembered Disha had informed her once about the chat thing, now putting two and two together.

“Wow.” She was stunned, and then immediately winced at the choice of word, “Sorry. I mean . . . that’s a lot.”

“Yes.” He sighed, “I apologize if all was too much to wrap your mind around.”

“I wanted to know.” She patted his hand, “It’s astounding, is not it? How and where destiny takes you?”

“For a long time, I thought whatever happened to me was karmic justice. What goes around comes around, as you sow shall you reap, things like that.” He was suddenly tensed, “I was supposed to be in that flight with Abhi. For a long time, I thought that was my fault, so of course it was my punishment. Staying with Shikha even when I did not want to. Muzammil.” He shuddered a bit and her fingers laced with him.

“That’s not true.” She whispered. He tried to smile, turning to her.

“Survivor’s guilt. My therapist said that.” That was a shocked for her.

“Your . . . therapist?”

“Base appointed. He is nice, listens to me and gives his input.” His smile could light up the room.

“I thought you said you did not go after you cleared the psychological tests?” Sameera frowned.

“Yes.” He confirmed, his body angling closer, “But someone made me promise to go back, and I could not break that. So once we returned from Gira, I started to visit him. Helped me to control my emotions, process them healthily, understand my guilt and where I was coming from. Even though at times, I did not follow as I was supposed to. But he helped.”

She looked at him with admiration at the information. He had layers after layers underneath that kind heart and she had barely scratched the surface. He was also good at hiding- she was pretty sure none of them knew he was visiting a therapist for months. And the fact that she pushed him for that, she don’t know how to feel about that. That her words mean so much for him that he will take the final step for his happiness, or visit someone who can help.

“I am glad that he is helping.” But of course, she had questions, “What do you talk about?”

He laughed, “That’s classified information between patient and doctor.” At her pout his thumb brushed over her chin, “But mainly how I am feeling that certain day. Why I am feeling that, how to process the negative emotions and look at the positive aspects in a situation.”

She asked some more and he indulged, and when casually her eyes went to the digital clock hanging in the living room, she almost jumped.

“It’s 11!” Before she could get up, he firmly made her sit back, “I need to leave, Abhi.”

His eyes went between the clock and her, not ready to let go of her yet. But he also knew they both had a long day tomorrow, and she needed to be back in base. Her eyes begged, and he gave up, sighing, “Okay. Just let me grab a pullover.”

“I will walk.”

“Absolutely not.” His place was near base and even though security was great in this location, he is not letting her walk all alone at this hour. “It’s late. 2 minutes.”

“But . . .” He silenced her with a kiss on cheek, and just like earlier she stopped.

“2 minutes. Please.” With a squeeze on her hand, he got up. After he was finished dressing, he went to kitchen and poured the remaining kheer into a small tiffin box. When he handed it over to her, the smile on her face was blinding, and she won’t stop saying thank you.

“Can I hug you?” He asked out of nowhere when they were near door, keys dangling from his fingers. She looked down in shyness, but nodded. Getting the permission, he gently wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled her closer and buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in her scent. When he felt her arms around him, he sighed in content- if only this moment could last forever.

But then, they will have more moments like this.

They reached base, fingers brushing but not holding onto each other. They lingered at the entrance, almost bade goodbye but not ready to go yet, smiling like idiots. He would open his mouth to say something, she will interrupt, and then both will be silent. It was silly, especially after they had such a good evening with hours of talking.

Out of nowhere, Samrat arrived, sauntering, “Hello, love birds.” Surprised, Sameera jumped, banging into Abhi who held onto her arms on a reflex.

“God, Samrat!” Her hand was on chest, “What are you doing here so late?”

“I am a vampire, remember.” He gave a mock salute to Abhi who nodded, “Sorry to intrude. I can’t sleep early, need to stroll a bit.”

“It’s fine.” Abhi released Sameera, “I think I should leave. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” On a cue she yawned, making the men laugh, “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

Sameera started walking, then turned to give him a wave which he mimicked. Samrat shook head at the two, smirked and then put an arm around her shoulder and made her go in. In the dead of night, Abhi could hear their bickering from all the way to here- he wanted the tiffin box, she won’t let him have it. He teased about date, she protested and probably did something, judging by his yelp.

Smiling to himself, Abhi started to walk away.

The HAWKS team had an interesting meeting a few days later. Colonel Chauhan, the ex officer who’s farewell party was celebrated months ago in base, had died unexpectedly a week earlier, and Veer sir informed Abhi that he had, apparently, left a will on the name of base. Chauhan did not marry, he had none other than a sister who was settled in abroad. He had a lot of query as to why he left a will on base name or what was in that, but Veer sir himself did not know. The will was kept on base name and as Veer sir was the head now, the lawyer representing Chauhan said that it will be better if they all had a sit down regarding the will.

And it was important that HAWKS were present, as per the lawyer.

Sameera was thinking to herself it was really that long when things were so different with them. She remembered the party as if it happened moments ago- especially remembered Abhi and the start of their hesitant, tentative partnership. Judging by the looks of it, even he was thinking the same, giving her a soft look as they all waited for the lawyer to arrive.

Now that they were all in one room, and they had some time on hand, Veer quietly observed the team- actually that was a lie. He wanted to observe Sameera and Abhi. Sunaina had mentioned recently, with acid in her tone, that something was up with the two. Insinuate that Sameera was the one to break up Abhi and Shikha. Now that he knew everything and knew Sameera was his own blood, he shot her down quickly but Sunaina won’t budge. Shikha also casually hinted the same, but without the malice of her mother. It all made him feel like this was something he should know- on one side, he had this deep faith Sameera can’t do anything wrong. After all, Sapna had raised her. And even if she had a hand, what can he do other than growl or curse their collective fate? But also, just to satisfy his curiosity, he wanted to see for himself.

He did not really have an opinion of the relationship between the two before everything went down. Sameera was a team mate, and Veer had hoped after Abhi’s taking over team that he will iron out weakness and make her better. Post Gira, Abhi was understandably upset. But after that day in hospital when he saw them hand in hand, and Sunaina’s words made him see things in new light. He observed the two these days in base- most of the time together, talking with a familiar soft look on their faces which he knew all too well. How Abhi seemed to come apart at her presence, devoid of any pretense of being too strong. Sameera had this light around her, pulling people close. Veer also wondered if that was Abhi getting pulled into the same, and felt this protectiveness for her. He did not know her well, but he won’t stand away to see her getting hurt.

Maybe it’s time he talk to Abhi.

The lawyer arrived, snapping him from his internal musings as others sat up straight. Short pleasantries later, the former jumped to work, giving a short summary of the will. Whatever money Chauhan had was donated to foundation for base and the latter had the freedom to use it however it pleases. His personal belongings- house, furniture, clothes, books, were given to charity as well. There was a personal letter by Chauhan, and with Veer sir’s permission, the lawyer started to read.

Chauhan had a daughter, apparently. About whom nobody, judging by look of absolute disbelieve on Veer’s face, had damn idea. They all used to joke the old man was virgin his whole life, none can even remember if they had ever seen a woman around him. That he may have a secret love child, and it was apparently on base to protect the kid. They only had a name and college details where the kid was currently staying, and as he had a lot of enemy, Chauhan was worried that someone might hurt the kid.

Her name was Rashi, as per letter.

There was a second part of letter on which lawyer had no authority to read aloud, hence he handed it over to Veer sir. His eyes casually went above the words, jaws clenched. The team looked at each other in confusion, Abhi’s eyes stuck on his mentor. Once the lawyer left, silence descended on them.

Clearing throat, Samrat decided to ask first, “Are we supposed to go to the college to protect the kid?” The ridiculousness of his tone was what others felt like that. They are not body guards, and it made no sense why Chauhan would leave a letter like that and make base to handle his kid after his death.

“We need to verify the claim first.” Veer sir closed the letter and kept it inside his jacket, “Once it’s established, we will see.”

“Are we legally obliged to go through it?” Natasha asked, “I mean, HAWKS are not security guards.” To soften the words, she added quickly, “No offense.”

Smiling, Veer sir said, “Maybe we are not legally obliged. But maybe we should honor the wish of a dead man.” He stood up, adjusting his coat, “This meeting was arranged because of his will. I know it’s a lot to take in, but be assured. Unless I or Abhi find something, nobody is going to work on this. We need solid evidence to back this claim.”

The seniors walked out of the room and headed for Veer’s cabin, talking on the topic of will. Like others, Abhi had questions too, and he knew there was something in the letter Veer sir did not read out aloud. It was further established when he kept the letter in a safe locker.

“On right time, I will hand that over to you.” He nodded at the senior’s words. When the topic died down, and he was about to take his leave, Veer’s words halted him. His eyes were scrutinizing, and he seemed to weigh his words before speaking. Suddenly Abhi was wary- this was no place to hash out Shikha and his relationship.

“If I ask something, will you be truthful?” Abhi also, had to think before answering. He had no reason to deceive anyone now.

“Of course sir.”

“I want to know the nature of relationship between you and Sameera.”

Shocked, Abhi stood there speechless. The question came out of nowhere and blindsided him. A part of him was saying he had no reason to answer this but he was also curious that from where did this come. Did he hear any whispers?

Of course, Abhi was not bothered if it goes out. But he and Sameera did not really talk about it.

“On what context?” He chose to ask.

“Personal front.”

“I am not sure how it’s relevant.” Abhi also felt that this conversation may head to Shikha, and in no way he was going to stand here and Veer sir accuse Sameera or him of anything. His sudden hard tone made the senior pause, his brows knotted in frown.

“I think we both know what I am trying to ask.” Abhi exhaled sharply at that, “Maybe this time or place is not right, but I needed to know.”

“Why?”

“So that she doesn’t get hurt.”

Abhi was insulted and outraged at the insinuation, and it was only his new found control that he was not shouting at the elder for whom he had so much respect. “With due respect, sir, I have no reason to answer this. But I don’t agree with your thinly veiled accusation, hence I will only say this- I will never hurt Sameera. That’s not even a question. So there is no reason for you to be worried.”

But Veer will worry, and it will be a long time anyone will know why, “Did you break the relationship because of her?”

“I broke it because I was unhappy and I had enough.” He snapped, finally done with this conversation, “There is no reason to drag her into this. I request you, please.” His tone softened in the end.

Veer had seen what he wanted to, and realized Sunaina was right. Was this a screwed up situation revolving his two kids? Of course, but he can do nothing about this. Abhi was a good man, he knew it in bones. He stayed in a relationship because he wanted to shield Shikha, and there was no question on how he will care and protect someone he truly loves. The way Abhi defended Sameera cleared his confusion, and he decided to let it go. He had intruded too much when he should not have.

“Can I ask one last thing?” Hesitantly, Abhi nodded at that, “Is she happy?”

His face broke out into a smile, “I can see she is. I hope she is as happy as she makes me.”

With a nod, Veer dismissed the former.

Like other evenings, Abhi and Sameera strolled outside base for a while, topic inadvertently going to Chauhan and his strange will. He was truthful about the letter which Veer sir did not disclose, and he was surprised to hear a new side of this whole saga from Sameera.

“I wonder if the girl knows about it all.” She clarified at his look of question, “I mean, was Chauhan sir in touch with her? Did they even live together?”

“I think he was. But we can’t be sure of the nature of relationship.” They were still having issue to digest that someone like Chauhan can have a offspring, the hows and whys were cherry on top.

“Imagine if she did not know anything.” Sameera was quiet, “Maybe she lived her life not knowing her father. Or maybe she did know him, but did not know it was her father. It will be the saddest thing.” Abhi realized that she probably linking it to her own life and lack of father figure in life. Sameera always spoke about her father with pride, but of course there is a part which is sad, which missed him. He held her hand to comfort her, and her face tilted at him with a small smile.

“Just wondering.” She shrugged.

“I know.” Hesitating, he said, “I was wondering . . . you are always at such ease on the topic of your father.”

“I guess it’s easy when you did not know someone.” She replied, “Whatever I know of him from my Maa. She used to tell stories about him- it felt like stories to me. He liked this, he liked that, he talked like this, he stood like that. That he would hold me at night when I cried.” Abhi’s hand tightened on hers, “I don’t even remember his face. I don’t even know how he looks.”

“How come?” He was curious.

“Well, we used to live in another city where I was born. After my Father died, we shifted from the house. It caught fire one evening, and everything was gone. Uncle used to say that Maa did not even have a spare cloth apart from what she had on her.” Shaking head, she continued, “Everything was gone, documents, belongings, cash, everything. I guess pictures were the last thing on mind. I remember until college, on every documents I would mention Maa’s name. I had no evidence of my father.” She chuckled, looking at Abhi, “It’s so weird, is not it? To submit a proof that you had a father to exist.”

Abhi took in the words- he can’t imagine living a life like that. “That must have been hard.”

“Well, quickly I realized how lack of father’s name on documents meant you could hear a lot of interesting discussions on the nature of your birth.” He was outraged, “So I learned to keep my head down and share minimum.”

“Aunty knew?”

“At first, I used to tell her. Then I grew up, and realized she had a lot of on her hands to handle, and maybe people talking bad on me should not be added to that.” She was still smiling, “But not like she did not know. Mothers know, right?”

“I am so sorry.” His throat was dry. Growing up with a single parent was hard, but these were just cruel. Someone like Sameera should never have gone through awful situations like this.

“Those are in past.” She brushed it aside, “And things became way better after Samrat came. He was good, he did not care about my documents.” They both chuckled at that, “He was nice to me. He became my best friend, and nothing mattered. Then I came here.”

“And you came here.” He echoed. Her smile got wider.

“And I had many more friends. I was known as a part of something else, not by who my Father was or what my Mother did for a living. It’s good. And now I work together so that I don’t lose this.”

“You won’t.” He put an arm around her as they moved, making her look down shyly with a smile, “Whatever you went through was wrong, but it made you what you are today- kind and compassionate. I am sure you Father, from the stars,” He pointed upwards, making her look up at sky, “is watching. And I am sure he is proud.”

“You think?” Her voice was raw with sudden tears. He nodded, pulling her close to him.

“Yes. You see that star, next to moon?” She nodded, “That’s him. You said he was a good, brave man, so of course he would be near light. Looking at you from a long time.”

“That’s a nice thought.” She whispered, burying head in his chest as she whispered, “Hi, Dad. Karanvir Singh.”

The next time Sameera was in Abhi’s apartment, she had invited over herself and had a wooden box in her hand. She had barely freshen up after another long, gruesome day, but still her eyes sparkled and she had a spring on her steps.

On other side, Abhi had a surprise too. Thanks to Smita, who was delighted and went over backwards to do something for him, the former had a full fledged garden in his balcony now. Filled with roses- red, pink, yellow, just like Sameera liked. After she took off shoes, he almost dragged her near balcony, nervous and also excited to see her reaction.

She did not disappoint, of course- immediately squealing and touching lightly the plants, her smile so wide that it lit up the room. He just leaned near door to watch her, so happy that his own heart almost burst out of the chest. She asked many questions and he answered with smile on his face, and then she ushered him.

“Come Abhi.” Her fingers wiggled, and he crossed the remaining steps, taking her hand, “Are not they so pretty?”

“Very.” He agreed, then handed her over his phone as she was busy to click pictures of flowers to send her Maa. HAWKS were not allowed any cellphones so it was his phone, and when she was done with photos and sent them, she just looked at the flowers with a soft look on face, serene smile on her lips as she touched a rose lightly and Abhi captured that moment. It became his lock screen immediately, and Sameera won’t see it for a long time.

After a while, Abhi pulled her up and away from balcony, patiently answering her never ending questions on the flowers- when, how, why, advice on watering, and some others. They stood in the middle of living room, her frame so close to him that her face could rest on his chest if she bent a little. His arm was around her waist, other one gently stroking her face as she continued speaking on the flowers.

Then his eyes fell on box she brought, “What is that?” Sameera turned to look, and then face palmed herself. In the excitement of flower, she had forgotten.

“Come.” Her infectious smile or excitement was hard to brush off. Abhi opened the box as she held on, and gently picked up the delicate charm made of glass and steel bars. They made tinkling smile and he looked at her, their eyes meeting.

“I told you I will find a nice one.” He nodded, looking at the charm again. It matched the color and vibe of rest of apartment, and his fingers went over it softly.

“Is it okay?” She chewed on her lip, eyes wide. He freed it with his thumb, making her blink.

“It’s perfect.” He pulled her close as Sameera held the charm delicately, “So where do we hang it?”

They decided on a place right under the door leading to balcony. Sameera tried reaching, but she was ‘shorty’, as Samrat often calls her. So of course, her hand won’t reach there. Huffing, she turned to Abhi who was silent, but his eyes gave away the amusement he was feeling seeing her struggle. Narrowing eyes, she handed it over to him, and in no time, he hung it.

“You are too tall.” She complained. He was almost 6 feet, same as Samrat. Abhi kissed her cheek as he stood behind her, both arms around her waist as they both looked at the charm. Maybe it was the slow, lingering pecks he kept giving her cheek, on the shell of her ear of her shoulder, or maybe it’s the beautiful sound of charm as wind crashed into it, but soon Sameera felt her annoyance going away and in content, she leaned onto him.

If this was happiness, she would pray everyday to let it be.

The Indian air force has shifted to many combat flights such as Sukhoi, Miraj and some country made light combat vehicles, but once upon a time the crown of the strength was Jaguar, which has been part of it’s fleet since 1960s. But time happened, and soon it was replaced by DSIII, a new and upgraded model of the former. A batch of 30 new DS arrived in base and everyone was chattering about who will man the first set of 6 flights to give feedback on the upgrade.

From HAWKS, Veer sir recommended Sameera’s name based upon last 3 months performance. She was shocked and nervous, and Abhi was proud- Veer sir asked him about the decision too and he knew none else will be better than Sameera. One fine, clear day, the batch of 6 headed for sky, Trainer Rawte along with Abhi and other senior technical stuff being in touch with the team through combat.

“Take her for a ride, see what’s the altitude we can push for.” Rawte’s growly tone made everyone nod, “Mehra, Shekhawat, you are up.”

Sameera took a deep breath and put it in full throttle, and from the ground Abhi tried to calm his heartbeat. After a few seconds, the DS went to 18000ft altitude and was almost vanished from sight, and the office called Mehra was informing the same to Rawte.

“Okay, I think it’s the limit.” Sameera informed after a while, “18427ft.” Rawte grunted, and base stuff filed that observation quickly.

“Everything good?” Abhi asked softly, and can almost feel the smile and giddiness from Sameera all the way down here.

“She is smooth. The upgrades are great, the improved navigation is quick to adapt. I can see base flights and commercial flights around 100km radius. It’s fast, it’s light, no shakiness.”

“Good.” Abhi turned distractedly when Disha entered, giving her a nod which she returned with a smile. Sameera was engaged in a conversation with Rawte and others on other side and he listened quietly, at times muting his side of comm to talk to Disha.

“What’s the feedback?” She asked.

“Well, Sameera said DS is smooth, and just as we expected from the upgrades.” He replied with a proud smile, “The next batch, me Veer sir and some other senior officers will fly.”

Disha pouted, “What about us? Sam got to ride one.”

“Veer sir decided that. And once we file the full report, you guys will get a flight schedule with DS.” He promised, “Give it a few weeks.”

The former stood for a while, listening to tech team talking with Rawte and co-ordinating with others members up in air. Rawte informed the batch it was time to leave, and Abhi shook head when Sameera deliberately made some excuses to spend extra time with the DS. He and Disha shared a look.

Abhi on his comm, “Sameera?” She hummed in reply, their communication private and mute from everyone else. “Having fun?”

“Very.” She answered in content, almost wishing to close eyes to feel this moment. She loved flying, probably she was born to be in sky.

“Any plans to come down sooner?” He teased.

“I don’t want to.” Abhi gave a look to Disha to which she shrugged.

“I will make you kheer.”

Sameera laughed, “Bribing me, are you Sir?”

“Come home.” His voice was soft and earnest, “Please baby.”

Sighing, Sameera gave up, then switched on comm to talk to Trainer Rawte, “Heading for base.”

He grunted, “Meet you there.” But of course she can’t help herself. Everyone in base almost yanked their earpieces off then laughed when Sameera made a last moment flip and Rawte was yelling at her. When she touched down he gave her another lecture, but nothing can dampen her spirit today. Trying to hide a smile, she quickly apologized and headed for locker room to change.

She met her friends in cafe, Abhi waiting on her hand and their fingers intertwined quickly the moment she came closer. Samrat gave her a mischievous smile.

“Just had to raise the heckle of Khadoos Rawte, did not you?” Shaking head, he pointed a finger to Abhi, “You have got your hands full.”

Sameera narrowed eyes, but her face became smooth when Natasha asked about the flight. The next half an hour passed on the discussion of flight as they had coffee (tea for Sameera), and when it was time to leave, Sameera held onto Abhi’s fingers as he stood up, making him surprised.

“Someone promised me Kheer, so . . . “ Suddenly shy, Abhi looked down, nodding at her words. Others made sound of ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ and of course Samrat would not shut up.

“Is that what kids calling it these days?” He and Ali shared a hi five, and Sameera’s mouth fell open in indignation. Grabbing a spoon from the next table, she threw it on Samrat, making him yelp.

Disha and Natasha laughed so hard that they had tears coming, and Abhi looked torn between laughter and silence, his frame shaking.

“Hey, I got hurt.” He complained. For a few moment Sameera did not believe him, but when he made a puppy face, she rushed to him immediately, smoothing the back of his hand where the spoon hit.

“Sorry.” She winced on his behalf, then narrowed eyes when he laughed- obviously lying about the pain. She was torn between actually hitting him again or say something when Abhi, bless his soul, gently took her shoulder.

“I think that’s enough violence for one night.” At her indignant look, he laughed, “Let’s go home, okay?”

Bidding goodbyes, the two left, holding hands the entire way.

2 days later, out of nowhere, Abhi had a meeting with HR/Personnel department of base around afternoon. He wondered if it was around HAWKS, but inside Veer sir was not present, but Trainer Rawte was. Maybe Veer sir was occupied and Rawte was his proxy- clearing his head, he sat down on a wooden chair as Rawte leaned on a wall, and started talking with the officer.

An hour later, he was shaking with rage and could almost strangle Rawte for this mess. The asshole had listened to Sameera and his conversation the other day and had put two and two together, and went directly to Veer sir. The latter, probably not wanting to deal with relationships around base or maybe it was his way of revenge (even in blind rage, Abhi knew it was not true), sent Rawte to talk to HR regarding this. It was an unspoken rule around base, and not alone in this one, that spouses, partners and family members are not supposed to be part of same group, department or area. Relationships are actively discouraged, and for a long time women were not part of force because of this. When Veer sir became head and started HAWKS, the first thing he did was include women, but this damn rule was still in place.

The HR gave him three choice- end the relationship, transfer out of base, or Sameera leaves HAWKS. The first one won’t happen, and Abhi won’t let the other two happen.

Outside the HR room, Rawte cleared his throat, making Abhi harden his resolve, “Had to do it.” The former gritted his teeth, “Since how long it’s going on?”

“Not your bloody business.” He hissed, making the former angry.

“If it’s recent, there will be less pain to end it.” Abhi opened his mouth to tell him off but Rawte was not finished yet, “This a workplace. You have a rising career in front of you, she is new. Don’t let it get in the way. You knew the rules.”

“Was not really thinking about rules when it happened.” He met his eyes, “And there is no ‘end it’ happening. Neither I am leaving, nor I will let her leave.” After everything happened, damn if base or rules from 1900s could break them apart. Abhi will fight everything to be with her, always have.

Rawte flared his nostril, “Don’t pull the Hero card on this.”

“I was not.” He had enough of this, “Now if you will excuse me.”

“Don’t make me the bad guy.” Rawte took a step towards him, “I did what was in the rules. I was there when we rescued you, I handled the team and stood by you since then. This was necessary.”

Abhi will remember the day very clearly till the day he dies- how Rawte headed the operation to rescue him from jungle, and how he gave his hand for Abhi when he was down and almost lost hope. He was indebted to him for life, but maybe this had wiped off all the good things he had done till now.

Turning on his heels, Abhi marched off.

In the evening, Abhi informed everything to Sameera as they sat on the couch of his apartment. Just to keep her updated, so that she don’t get the nasty surprise out of nowhere. For a few minutes, she just sat there speechless, staring into nothing as she tried to process everything.

“I am sorry.” He took her hand, almost begging to her to say something. She gave a ghost of a smile, eyes still faraway.

“For this?” She gestured between the two of them, and he shook head vigorously.

“Never for this. Never.” His lips pressed on the back of her hand, “I should have been careful back there. I should have checked the comms, be more professional. Should have kept my mouth shut.” He almost yanked his hair off in frustration, when her fingers gently covered his own, making it fall on his lap.

“It had to come out sooner or later, right?” He nodded at that- she was right, of course. But probably a natural discourse would have been better than this mess which came out of nowhere. “The HR will talk to me I presume?” He nodded, “Fine, we will talk about this once the meeting happen, okay?”

“You are not going anywhere.” He vowed, but with despair he saw the smile she gave him, as if she has almost given up. Her words which followed next just sealed the fact for him.

“If it’s rules, I don’t think we have much choice.”

“The rules are not written anywhere and it’s bullshit!” He rarely curses, and more so in front of her. He started to pace up and down the room, unable to be still, “Why are you giving up so quickly?”

“I am not.” She spoke gently, trying to ease his frustration, “I did not really talk to HR yet, maybe once I do we will have more perspective.”

“And if he gives you three option like he gave to me?” He crossed arms over chest, eyes stormy, “End this, leave base or I leave. What will you do?”

It was a hard question- air force was her everything since the day she was born, but Abhi . . . he was a lifetime decision, right? How does someone pick between their desire and their soul? The situation was so unfair, after everything happened and everything they went through, some unspoken rules are threatening to tear it apart.

She did not know the answer now, and she was pretty sure she won’t know the answer even after the HR meeting.

“You are silent.” Abhi choked out, “Is it going to be the first one?”

For a few moments there was this white noise around her, “I did not say that.” She whispered, feeling her own eyes burn.

“Will you ever choose me?” He looked away, arms falling off, “Or you also need time for that?”

She did choose him a lot time ago, against better judgement of her own mind, logic and societal approval. Knowing the risks of having feelings for someone who was with someone else, and then someone who was the Boss and senior by rank. She knew her friends might tease, but once words get out others won’t be so favorable towards her. There will be whispers, suspicions and character assassinations. The blame to breaking apart a couple who was together for years, to pull someone in trap who was way out of her league so that she can have a good life and career. And once that happens, whatever she did till now will mean nothing. It will be looked under a microscope, and result will be unanimously declared that she had no merit, and of course a love stuck man pushed her up above others to keep it up.

It won’t be not fair to her, and especially not someone like Abhi who was a great person. And maybe all of the things she had thought just now, Abhi knows it too, but in anger and fear he lashed out. Or maybe, as a man who had power and position, he did not know or did not care.

She wanted to answer that, but before she could say anything Abhi had knelt in front of her, “I did not mean that.”

Sameera won’t let him apologize for something she blamed herself too, “You had that thought in mind, hence you spoke. It’s okay.”

“No.” He shook head, sharply meeting her eyes, “It’s not. It’s not about . . . I told you.”

“It’s okay.” Her thumb gently ran over his cheek, his lips and his eyes before he could protest on that. His eyes fell shut immediately, almost hiding his face in her hand, “It’s okay.”

She had that dreaded HR meeting one evening not long after their fight in Abhi’s apartment. It’s probably not a fight, but felt like one- she was hesitant, he would not look at her face. Deliberately avoiding each other, hands brushing but not really holding on. Others questioned her on the same but she brushed those aside- no need to burden others until she had the clear picture and decision on hand.

Halfway through the meeting, things suddenly got crystal clear for her. This was a meeting not to inform her about the risks to be in a relationship with a senior colleague, but to actively discourage her from pursuing the same. More often than not she was hinted at that it will be better for her career if she ended it, and the dangers in case she decides to leave HAWKS and move back to her old base- desk duty, no promotion, might be remote area transfer. All because of this one unwritten rule which was in place for years.

So when her mouth spoke before her head could process, she did not really care or blame herself for the decision. She chose Abhi, because she has done that for a long time. And maybe the HR looked like she was a love stuck fool, letting her feelings get in the way of her career, and this decision will cost her lifetime of education and hard work, and maybe in this moment she is destroying her dreams, her mother’s hope and her father’s pride, she realized if she did not have Abhi by her side, it will mean nothing. She knew their reality, and he was It for her. Has been for a long time, so really, there was really no choice.

She will leave the base and move back to former one as, even staying in one office was frowned upon. With the next meeting fixed for the end of week for paper work to leave HAWKS, Sameera walked out.

Around 11pm, Sameera called Abhi from the landline of women’s boarding, from the same phone which was stuck to wall and from where she calls her Maa everyday. She sat on the floor, cradling the receiver closer and decided to let out all her feelings, so that he can never feel that she did not care enough for them. For him.

“I chose you. I will always choose you, above anyone and everything.” She closed eyes, head hitting the opposite wall lightly, “I have been in love with you for so long.”

He exhaled a sharp breath at that, “Sameera . . . “

“I told him today that I chose you. I chose this.” Tears streamed down her face and her voice became raw, but she continued because this was important, he had to understand, “I am sorry if I made you feel you were not enough. Sorry I did not say this sooner. Sorry for holding myself back. You are it for me, you always have. Till my last breath.” She started to cry, wishing this night will pass already. Wishing this whole thing will turn nightmare.

Probably he wished the same too.

“I know baby. I know. Please don’t cry.” His voice was scratchy too with unshed tears, “Can I see you?” It was late, but he did not care.

She sniffled, trying to put on a brave smile, “It’s okay. I just had to tell you this.”

“I will fix this.” He vowed- he started this anyway. He did not know how he will do that, but he had to.

But Sameera had decided, so she gave a broken smile at his words, “It’s okay.”

Whenever he was at his wits end, Abhi will visit his Dad and get a better perspective on things. More often than not, the older man will pull strings to make thinks happen- sparks of having connections and finance. So of course, now that Abhi had the danger of losing his beloved to some arbitrary rule, he had to vent in front of him. Smita sat beside the two men quietly, Abhi holding onto her hand as he spoke.

These days, he lets her comfort him and she can’t ask for more.

“The rule has been in place for years. Even in army.” Suryakant spoke dryly, but at the rising temper of his son chose to soften his words, “It’s from 18th century, but it is what it is.”

“This is unfair!” Abhi burst out, shaking with rage, “This is written nowhere.”

“True.” The old man agreed, “And you noticed how Sameera is given an easy exit?”

“Sparks of being a woman.” Smita snorted beside the two, “Always the women who had to bear the damn consequences.”

Abhi glanced at his mother sympathetically, running hand through his hair, “I can leave base. I can move back to Rajasthan, it’s not hard for me. But why should I? Just because someone had decided this bloody rule? And why should Sameera leave?” His voice broke, “She had worked so hard. Every single day she has fought. She deserves to be here more than anything, and now she is being pushed to go back to her old base.” Which was another state. The possibility of a long distance relationship thing was another pain.

Suryakant regarded his son silently- this is the hill he was choosing to die for, so be it. Of course, it was always Sameera which made him fight like this, “Why do you think she deserves to be in HAWKS?” He asked.

“Because she has worked hard.” Abhi did not miss a beat.

“Is it because of you two . . . “ Before Suryakant has finished that, the former spoke up.

“No Dad. I have seen her from the start. She risked a court marshal because she had a suspicion during a flying mission. In Gira, she found the bullet shell which confirmed the village had illegal arms. She has saved me twice, saved Samrat. She pushed herself beyond limits after she woke up, stood on her feet in record time. Her last 4 months performance is off the charts, even better than me or Veer sir. Her flying hours are insane, she has experiences in almost all jets. She thinks she is not good with physical fitness, but I see her improving everyday.” Abhi looked down, tightening his fist as he looked down, “Since the start she has struggled. Always lived in the fear that she will be pushed off the team. She has barely started to believe in herself, and now this. Why should Sameera leave HAWKS when she deserves to be here? And why should I leave the team, just because I am in love with her?”

Suryakant and Smita looked at each other, the former realizing immediately that her husband had some tricks hidden up his sleeve, but her frown gave away her confusion. Giving a rare smile, Suryakant turned to his son, patting his knee to give him strength.

“She deserves to be here, Dad.” Abhi said again.

“You convinced me.” Suryakant nodded, then smirked to himself after a while, “What did Rawte told you? Playing the Hero card?” At his son’s confused frown, he finished, “Let’s play the hero card, shall we?”

Before the final HR meeting about leaving HAWKS and base. Sameera realized this was the time to inform everyone- they were already suspicious and thought there was a lover’s tiff, but Natasha’s hard stare at times made her realize the former had sensed something was wrong. Disha was not in the room, hence sensing the opportunity, Sameera slowly gathered her things- cosmetics, clothes, shoes, putting those one by one in her suitcase. She had already informed Sapna, and the latter, albeit disappointed at the turn of events, had given her all encouragements and strength.

There was a knock on door and Abhi was outside. Their eyes met- full of sadness and unshed tears. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked down, then came out of her room, closing the door softly behind her.

They found an empty spot after walking silently for a long time. Sameera gathered courage for goodbye, trying to soothe him by squeezing his hand. The only implication that he was even listening, that he was here, was how tightly he held onto her.

“I will sign the papers today. HR will arrange things, by next Monday everything will be settled back in home.” She cleared throat, looking away, “It will be good, I guess. 9 to 6 job, weekend off. I can meet you on Sunday, or you can visit whenever you have time. Long distance may be hard, but we will manager. It will be desk duty for a while, but I will apply for better position. I am sure I will get something, I have HAWKS on my resume.” She turned to him, but Abhi won’t look at her, “You will be so busy that you won’t even realize I am gone. And there will a replacement too in the team, I wonder if Veer sir will pick a girl or . . . “

His lips were on hers, cutting off her nervous babble. He put his heart, soul and pain into it, his lips urgent as they moved, taking everything from her. She held onto his neck as he pulled her impossible closer, their tears mixing together.

They broke apart, their foreheads touching. Sameera gently wiped away his tears- she wished their first kiss would not have been this much painful. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” He whispered, his fingers running over her as if this will be the last time- memorizing her face, the hollow of her neck, the way her pulse beat in her wrist, the small of her back a he pulled her closer. Burying his head in her shoulder, he whispered brokenly, “Nothing will be okay.”

But they both got a surprise in HR room. Veer sir was present, along with a sour faced Rawte. The former ran his eyes on the two- now that words had gone out, Abhi has probably said ‘screw it’ to rules, tightly holding onto Sameera’s hands. His eyes were red and from the disheveled look and at least a week of stubble spoke a lot about the agony he was going through all these time. Sameera did not look any better, but has taken up the role of soothing, just like her Mother. Veer almost fell bad for the two, but he was also secretly hoping for this last moment miracle from his friend Suryakant. It was a calculated risk- Rawte came to him, and if he had brushed his concerns off, the nosy man would have surely contacted someone higher, bypassing Veer, leading to all out embarrassment. He directed him to HR, and predictably Abhi pulled out all of his cards to stop Sameera from leaving. And his good old, trusted friend Suryakant was no less- very few people actually knows the stern faced man and how far he can go for his family, especially his son. Suryakant reached out to someone higher in ministry, and Abhi played his ‘Hero card’ like Rawte has mentioned many times. One and last time the man will ever do. As there were no written rules, there was no need for anyone leaving HAWKS or the base. And in next two months, there will be a written rule in air force bases that spouses, partners and family members can work in same team or base. It will start with this base, of course.

“Welcome back.” Veer kept a hand on Sameera’s head, silently blessing her for this new beginning. She gave a watery smile, nodding in acceptance. With one last look to Abhi which he returned with gratitude, the former left, Rawte in tow, no doubt growling about the mess.

Abhi and Sameera looked at each other, happiness oozing off the two.

They sat on the couch of Abhi’s apartment, bodies angling closer and heads resting. Their hands were clasped tightly together, occasionally stroking the back of their hands, the whispered words only for the two of them.

He took the rest of day off and he cared about nothing.

“How did this happen?” She was still in shock at the turn of events. Of course, Abhi had something to do with it, but she was curious as to how.

“Not letting you go, I said that, remember?” His eyes narrowed a bit, “You were all set to leave. Making plans of visit, 9 to 6 job.”

“Would not you have come to meet me if I left?” At the her question, he leaned forward and kissed her softly, savoring the feeling.

“There was no question on that.” Their eyes met, “Same state or not. This,” He looked down at their hands, “would happen. But I was not going to let you go. Leave HAWKS, after you working so hard for this.” He smoothed her frown with his thumb, “If it had come to that, I would have taken the transfer. To Rajasthan, my old base of Pokhra. The head likes me there, it would have been arranged in no time. It was also better for transportation, I could quickly come in and meet Mom and Dad and you.”

Her mouth fell open, “You . . . you would have left?”

“In a heartbeat.” That was the last resort. His Dad informed him about his conversation with someone higher up in Ministry, but he was not confirmed if it could stop Sameera from leaving. If push came to shove, he would have been in the room, signing himself off.

“Abhi.” She sat up straight, cupping his face, “No. You should never leave. This team . . . “ She bit her lip, “You are the leader. You are part of it. You handle it so well, the team needs you.”

“And you.” He objected lightly.

“Someone told me people are replaceable.” When he tried to protest, she shook head, “No. Abhi, please. Never do that again, never even think about leaving again. You are important- your knowledge, your strength, your taking ownership is important. More than me or anything else. So please, never leave HAWKS. Promise me.” Her hands went up in the familiar action, but he did not take it immediately. It was not that simple to choose, is it? “Abhi?”

Sighing, he interlinked their fingers- when he has even stopped giving her what she wanted? Pleased, she gave a warm smile in return.

“Good.” Awkward silence fell around her and she looked down at their hands, suddenly self conscious about their closeness. When she tried to move, his arm encircled around her waist, pulling her almost on top of him. Her breath escaped in a whoosh, and his felt the same.

“You called me. And you told me something.” His lips brushed teasingly over hers, “Say it again.”

“Sorry?” Her voice was woobly. He chuckled.

“The other part.”

Her eyes sparkled, a soft blush on her cheek, “I am in love with you. I love you. And I need no more time to say it.” She kissed on the corner of his lips, “Sorry for taking so long.”

“You sure?” Because the other day, it was a cruel thing to do. He was not faring better in that moment, but that was no excuse. He would not want to push her to something she was not ready yet. He did mean when he said she can take as much time as she wanted. He was not going anywhere.

She sensed his worry and smiled, fingers tracing lightly over his face as if to memorize each spaces, “Yes.” And he saw no hesitation in those eyes. Acceptance, happiness, warmth.

And love.

His lips were on hers almost immediately, all senses leaving his mind. The first time was a desperate mixture of tear and pain, but this time will be better. They both will remember it for the rest of their lives. He felt her nails digging onto his back, running through his hair and he growled, pulling her impossible closer. He explored each corner of her mouth- urgent, frantic, but also passionate and soft. By the time there was necessity of breath, he was almost on top of her and the flushed, dazed look on her face almost made him lose it again.

“I love you.” Their foreheads touched, his thumb ghosting over her red, swollen lips. “Love you.” He whispered so softly, the words too sacred to speak out loud, too small to convey his emotions. He felt her smiling, and met her eyes with one of his.

“Will you tell me now that where did you see me first?” At the unexpected question, he laughed, burying his face in her stomach. She jerked a bit at the touch, but relaxed the next moment- these touches, these feelings were new. Unexpected and foreign, but loving. Something, she realized, she wanted.

“No.” He looked up, pressing lips over her salwar suit, eyes full of mirth, “Not now.”

“I gave up my time, when will you?” She complained. He got up, maneuvering so that his back was resting against the couch and she was pressed to him, their legs finding their way to be comfortable on the small couch which was really not for lying, that too with two person.

“Someday.”

“When?” She almost whined, and in response, he leaned down to kiss her again, letting her feel his smile. Her annoyance went away almost immediately and she responded back, pulling him closer and pushing herself to him at the time time.

The night will be full of whispered words and stolen kisses, and when the next day arrived, nobody will know when they had fallen asleep and woke up. Sameera woke up first- of course she did. The first thing that crossed her mind was she spent a night somewhere else, but found that it did not really bother her. She craned her neck a bit to move and Abhi, still sleeping beside her, moved a bit, burying his face in her neck. He was all over her- one hand under her hand, another lazily thrown over her waist, legs intertwined with hers. Even in sleep he held onto her securely- no wonder, as she was still lying on the couch and did not fell on the floor.

Smiling to herself, she ran her fingers all over his- the shell of his ears, his neck, the broad shoulders, his short, soft hairs. Her fingers stilled on his back, remembering that one night she had seen the jagged back and his reaction. Things have changed a lot now, but something may not have been. She needed permission for this one, she realized.

It also worried her a bit that if he minded his scars, what about hers?

Abhi’s head stirred a bit, breath ghosting over her skin leaving goosebumps, “M’ning.” He mumbled. Just when she thought he will actually open his eyes, look at her and maybe will get up, his arm tightened around her waist, and he buried himself more into her. Apparently, he was not up for the day just yet. Who knew, the time table follower, strict boss can spend time on bed, cuddling.

“Good morning.” She whispered, planting a kiss on his head. Looking at the digital clock in the room, she turned to him, “You know, it’s almost 6.”

At that, he sighed, meeting her eyes finally, “Need to leave, should not we?”

“We should.” He did not look happy, but his small irritation melt off when he looked at her- long hairs open and ruffled from the previous night, eyes sleepy but warm as they gazed at him, face content. He noticed the small red patched near on her skin- all thanks to his week old stubble and sleeping hours on the crook of her neck, ran a thumb gently on those. Planting a small, chaste kiss on her lips, he got up.

“Chai?” She nodded at him.  

There was something so intimate, so domestic about this morning that Abhi was silenced to the feeling of it, as if saying something will shatter it somehow. He was with a woman before, but he never had this- inhibition, mainly, also his heart was not in that. He had to prepare for a lifetime where he will never mean any kiss he give to another woman or accept the touch as love, and he was thankful that he never had to. Pretend. Cause he would have been rubbish at that- how can one hold someone else’s hand and not mean it? Or kiss, not to take away pain or just because they can, but to keep up pretense? Tell someone he loved them and never mean it.

He drank in each moments of the morning as if deprived of it for so long, also strangely anticipating more of the same. The way Sameera, still sleepy, sat on his couch, one pillow on her lap as she kept her elbows and rested her head, almost dozing off. How she pulled her hair into a small bun. How she smiled when he arrived, took the tea cup and blew into it. And when she got up, how she stretched her muscles and put the dupatta around her neck- which was discarded away at some point last night.

Last night, it brought a smile on his face. Her touch, her declaration of love, the whole feel of her. She spent a night at his place, on his couch, and was so close to her. Lost in her, literally nothing else mattered. Probably this is what love feels like, intoxicating, all consuming, where nothing else mattered. He had felt that for her before, on a primal, scary level, but this was different. More peaceful, more soothing, full of bliss and love.

And probably Sameera had the same thoughts going through her head, judging by how she looked at him- saw him buttoning his shirt, put on his uniform, comb hair and putting on sock and shoes. She sat on his bed as he got ready, and grabbing his wallet and watch, he sat beside her.

“I can hear your thoughts all the way to here.” She smiled slowly at that, taking his watch to tie it around his wrist. He will wear her Father’s watch soon, he did not feel worthy of that just yet. His fingers messaged her shoulder softly as she sighed, “Hurts?”

She shook head, but he knew she will keep everyone’s well being over her. Teasing, he added, “Maybe the next time, I will bring you to bed.”

Her eyes widened like saucer and he had to bit his lip to stop smiling, “B . . . Bed?”

“Well, can’t always sleep on the couch, Sameera. It’s small.” He leaned until their eyes were on the same level, tracing the outline of her lower lip, “Now that you have given permission, I may just do that.”

Blushing, she looked away, and he laughed, arm around her shoulder to pull her close.

HAWKS was mostly for intelligence, but Abhi, before being the boss and a senior rank holder, was part of rescue operation team of IAF. There was a flash flood in hilly area and he was called for the rescue mission, leaving behind his team to Rawte for one day. Nobody was happy about it, and Sameera had to work overtime to not think much about him and focus on the man in front of them. But it was hard not to, and more so when the rescue work went over 24 hours. Abhi had called once to Veer sir and he informed him he may not be available the next day also, and Sameera started to worry more. The team gathered in the cafe and stared at media coverage of flood, people dying, air force and NDRF ground team working on taking people to safe place. The visibility was bad and there was warning of rain with thunderstorm. It may take longer than 2 days.

56 hours later, Abhi returned. And seeing him, Sameera breathe properly for the first time in last few days. He was congratulated by everyone, back slapped in solidarity, and when his tired eyes found her through the crowd, he gave a small, sleepy smile. When people emptied a bit, he walked near her and held onto her hand.

“Come home with me.” He whispered. She wanted that too, but he was tired and she did not want to intrude on his rest.

“You should take rest.” He shook head just as the words escaped her lips.

“Please.” Her resolve went away at the word, and sighing, she left with him.

Abhi took a long, hot shower to wash off the dirt and wariness of the last few days, and came out to see Sameera had already received the food delivery, now serving the two food. They ate quietly- she wanted to ask but not wanting to tire him out much, and he was thankful. The situation was horrible back there and he need time to process it. Once done with food, both cleaned up- she protested but he won’t have it, and left for his room together, silently agreeing on the destination.

Sitting on the bed, he immediately wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. Her soft touch ran through his hair, the small of his back, both of them swaying lightly back and forth. Sighing in content, he closed eyes, almost feeling like he will sleep like this.

“Your lockscreen have my picture.” Sameera said out of nowhere, making him smile. When he looked up, there was this shy smile on her lips which always makes his heart burst out of chest.

“It’s been there from a long time, Baby. You just noticed it now.” Leaning forward, he captured her lips, softly at first, but it turned heated. Her fingers clutching onto him and the breathy moans did not help, and soon he felt the traces of sleep going away, leaving him with a strength he did not possess. His own fingers ran through her long, silky hair, other one going under her dress to find the smooth skin underneath.

At the exact moment Sameera stiffened, and he pulled back immediately. They both tried to calm down their breaths and elevated heartbeat, and she moved a bit, not meeting his eyes.

“Sorry.” She, not for the first time, cursed her inability to go with the flow. Abhi noticed her hesitancy, but realized it was not the right time to talk about this. His thumb ran through the side of her head, making her look at him.

“One day, I will convince you to stop saying sorry.” He said easily, pulling her near him again, both of them lying on the bed, pressed so close together that they could hear their heartbeat. She hid her face in his chest, and soon they both fell asleep, the ruined mood and hours long separation forgotten.

The next morning, like the last time, Sameera woke up first- and just like last time, his head was resting on her shoulder and he was still sleeping, deep breaths fanning her lock of hair lightly. It was almost 5.30am, and she did not know if Abhi will come to base, but she needed to leave for base in the next one hour. She was in half mind whether to wake up or go back to sleep, when he stirred a bit, one eye cracked open.

“Morning.” The deep tone sent shiver down her spine. Turning to him until their chests were pressed together, she kissed him softly, murmuring the greeting against his skin. But of course, things got heated- early morning or not. Soon, she was lying on top him, their lips moving in sync and their fingers clutching each other desperately.

Abhi moved away first, breathing heavily. A curse was almost sitting on his lips- cause this was some greeting, but he swallowed it quickly, “You keep this up, and I don’t think I can let you leave for base later.”

Her cheeks flushed, but realizing the words she frowned, “You?”

“Today is my off.” Almost 3 days of continuous duty means, at least, a full day of rest. Veer sir had forbidden him to even set foot in base. His thumb softened the frown between her burrows, then dropped a kiss, “Try to come back soon, we will have dinner.”

She nodded, content to stare in his eyes as his hand ran through her hair, her back, stroking lightly on her face. Then he remembered something and decided to ask- this was as good as time. “Did I do something wrong last night?” On cue, he felt her stiffening in his arms, “You froze. Was I making you uncomfortable?” He might have moved too quickly in passion, and if it was the case, he will be careful next time. He held his breath as Sameera took more time to answer- to spare him the embarrassment, or choosing her words carefully, he could not tell. If it was the latter, he did not want it. He wanted to hear her thoughts, without any filter or sugar coating.

Sameera made up her mind to say what was nagging her from a while, but was not sure how to say the actual words out loud. Also, she did not want to offend or upset him. Irritated with herself, she buried her face in his chest, feeling his arms tightening around her.

“Um,” She started, “I have scars, you know?” Then immediately realized how stupid that line was, “Of course, you know. Injuries and all.” He hummed at that, and she carried on, “They did not go away, maybe never will. I . . . um, never mentioned this. Did not want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Make me uncomfortable?” He was incredulous. Hooking a finger under her chin, he forced her to look at him, “Why would I be uncomfortable?”

“You don’t like scars.” She shifted her eyes, “I walked on you once, without a shirt. You were . . . angry?”

He remembered that too, but his anger, or the negative emotions were more about the shitshow going on around them rather than her seeing his scars. Also, he was scared of seeing pity in her eyes- but she had always shown him compassion.

“It’s not about me liking scars, Sameera.” He rocked their body back and forth as she kept her head directly over his heart, listening to the rhythmic thud underneath, “For a long time, I hid myself. Emotions and scars included. When I came back from captivity, there was a lot of pressure- from my own head, from outside. I was, what they call, a hero. Someone who went through storm and came back. And it was important for me to be 100% alright in a short period of time. I could not afford to show weakness, I needed to be back on my feet quickly. The scars were constant reminders of what went down. So I thought, if I hide it under clothes and don’t look at mirror properly, nobody will see. So nobody did, and I also stopped looking.” He gazed at her, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, “I was not angry at you that night per say, more like my own head telling me how stupid I was to let it show. Also, the situation was tensed.”

She nodded, understanding his perspective a lot better, “And how can I not like your scars, or be uncomfortable with them?” His fingers drew a pattern on her back, “You survived. You came back to us. To me. You are right here. Scars are the least of my worries.”

Sameera tried to smile, nodding at his words, but he was not convinced judging by the look on his face, “If you want,” He spoke hesitantly, “I can show you mine. To ease you.”

“There is no need, really.” She did not want to push him on this- maybe some other time, maybe she should have phrased it better. It was obviously a touchy subject, and no matter how many times he shared pieces of his past, Sameera always felt that she can never decipher the depth of his agony. The things he went through. She can held his hand and whisper soothing words, but she can’t take away his pain. If he wanted to hide his scars, so be it. She would wait.

But Abhi did not- for some inexplicable reason, desperate to prove something. Gently lowering her on the bed, he sat up. His fingers hesitated a bit, then he pulled off his t shirt, and then turned around slowly, almost holding breath. For a long moment she stared back in stunned silence- at his action, the pain he must be feeling at that. Then slowly, she got up.

There were different marks all over his back- she recognized cigarette burns, as Abhi had mentioned once. Two thin scars ran parallel on the either side of his spine, from neck to lower back, vanishing inside his waistband. There were some marks, she did not know from what- when she gently ran her index finger on one of them, he flinched slightly. Immediately she pulled back, put his discarded t shirt over his back and hugged him tightly. His arms immediately wrapped around her as he pulled her frame on his lap, both of them rocking back and forth, tears streaming down their faces.

Nobody spoke a word after this.