Part 6 - The Villain vs The Ginger

Setting: A WhatsApp group titled "The Misfits".

GROUP CHAT: THE MISFITS

Members: Barun Sobti, Sidharth Malhotra, Parineeti Chopra.

Sidharth posts a video of himself looking absolutely defeated, sitting in his vanity with his head in his hands.

SIDHARTH (Voice Note) Yaar, Barun... tera 'Silent Treatment' backfire kar gaya! It lasted for like... half an hour? Pari ne itna bada emotional scene create kiya ki meri phat gayi. Main toh mystery-shystery sab bhool gaya and I started apologizing like a puppy.

BARUN (Text) Hahahaha! Maine kaha tha, ignore her tears. Tu softie hai, Sid. Terse nahi hoga.

PARINEETI (Text) Exactly! Sid, tu 'Enigma' banne chala tha? Tera 'Not Now' sunke mujhe laga tujhe constipation hai. Please, leave the brooding to Barun. Tu bas smile kar, vahi kaafi hai.

SIDHARTH (Text) Abey, it’s not funny! She made me feel guilty about a 12-year-old chai bill! Pari, tu itni gandi actress kaise ho sakti hai?

PARINEETI (Text) It’s a talent, baby. Waise Barun, tune isse training kyun di? You know he’s a golden retriever. Isse 'Shadow' banana impossible hai.

BARUN (Text) He was desperate, Pari. Isko laga mystery se public image 'cool' ho jayegi. But Sid, cool dikhne ke liye thoda 'tention' lena choddna padta hai. Tu toh ek fake tear dekh ke pighal gaya.

SIDHARTH (Text) Next time, main sach mein disappear ho jaunga. No phone, no social media, just like Barun.

BARUN (Text) Hahaha, try kar le. Tu 2 din phone switch off rakhega, toh Kiara PR ko call kar degi ki 'Sid kidnap ho gaya hai.'

PARINEETI (Text) Facts! Chal, mystery chodd, and bring snacks on set tomorrow. Aur Haan... Barun, you’re also invited. Humne decide kiya hai ki hum sab milke tera ek 'happy' makeover karenge.

BARUN (Text) Please... 'Not Now.'

SIDHARTH (Text) LMAO! Woh seekha diya isne. But seriously guys, let’s stick to what we’re good at. Main nice guy, Pari prankster, aur Barun... well, Barun is just Barun.

PARINEETI (Text) Deal! Par Sid, woh grocery bill abhi bhi tere paas hai na? Frame karwa le. 'The end of Sid's Mystery Era.'

The vanity is quiet, the only sound the low hum of the AC. SIDHARTH is slumped in his chair, staring at his reflection, looking like he’s aged five years in one afternoon.

His eyes drift to the vanity counter. There, sitting next to his car keys, is the small, yellowed square of paper Parineeti had handed him with such "gravity" in the studio. He sighs, a heavy, soul-tired sound, and reaches for it.

He unfolds it slowly, expecting a long-lost debt or a heavy confession. He blinks. He frowns. He brings it closer to the bulb of the mirror.

SIDHARTH (A stunned whisper) O teri...

His eyes scan the thermal ink: ADRAK - 250g. GARLIC- 250g. 1 BOTTLE SURF EXCEL The total is 215 rupees. Dated: August 2014.

He stares at it for three seconds, then a slow, lopsided grin breaks across his face. He grabs his phone and hits the speed dial.

INTERCUT - PHONE CALL

PARINEETI (Voice dripping with fake concern) Hello? Siddo? Are you okay, baby? You sounded so stressed earlier... like your soul was leaving your body?

SIDHARTH (Pacing the van, laughing in pure disbelief) Abey saali! You absolute psycho! Adrak, Pari? Seriously?! Main yahan property papers dene ko taiyaar tha, and you were crying over a 250-gram ginger bill from twelve years ago?

PARINEETI (She loses it; a loud, snorting laugh erupts) HAHAHA! Oh my god, you finally opened it! The 'sacred document' has been revealed!

SIDHARTH (Grinning, though he’s cussing her out under his breath) Kaminee... I swear, my heart was actually in my throat. Main baith ke soch raha hoon, "Bhai, aisa kya paap kiya hai maine?" And here you are, making a fool out of me for peanuts! Zeher hai tu, Pari. Pure, organic zeher.

PARINEETI (Gasping for air between laughs) But it worked! Tune 60 percent profit share offer kiya tha woh bhi live! I’m calling my lawyer tomorrow to check—agar witness ke saamne 'Grocery Prank' hua ho, toh is that a legally binding contract?

SIDHARTH (Trying to sound stern but failing) Chup! Ek dum chup! If you mention that 60 percent again, or if this footage ever sees the light of day, I am personally going to delete every single song of yours from the internet. Threaten mat kar mujhe, I have Kiara on speed dial!

PARINEETI (Howling) Try it! The world deserves to see the "Enigma" Sidharth Malhotra being defeated by a piece of adrak! Poster pe likhvaungi—The Villain vs The Ginger.

SIDHARTH (Leaning his head against the van wall, laughing) I hate you. I really, really do. Chal, go sleep before I actually block you for the third time this week.

PARINEETI Goodnight, "Bechara"! Don't forget, kal shoot pe adrak leke aana! 250 grams!

Sidharth hangs up, looking at the bill one last time. He shakes his head, crumbles the paper into a ball, and flicks it perfectly into the trash can.

SIDHARTH Pagal aurat…

[To Be Continued...]