Kabhi Saas bhi Bahu thi -The Art of Mindful Living
“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another,
Hearing with the ears of another
And feeling with the heart of another”
The Rajvanshs except for Maasi have totally lost it despite Abir showing them the mirror again and again. Even an outsider like Varun and Mr. Soni understand a bit but not the women in the family which actually brings to question the mental psyche of women.
“A girl can be your best friend or your worst enemy.”
Opinion is the lowest form of human knowledge, it requires no understanding or accountability, which is why Nirmala Soni fails to realize that it takes two to tango and the process of being pregnant involves her son to the exact 50% but she doesn’t want to hold him accountable.
When we suspend our egos and look inwardly then we develop empathy and we experience the highest form of knowledge and learn to start living in another’s world. It is a character that our society lacks today and it can actually transform the world into a better place. Stop blaming others and try to introspect for your weaknesses within.
“When I stop blaming
I look for shortcomings within
and do not try to escape.”
“Rape (Attempting to misbehave too included) is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.”
Nirmala Soni should have taught her older son Karan the act of treating women well and maybe then Mishbir wouldn’t be in this soup and neither will her family. Maybe she did/didn’t, that’s not the question but right now but its how she passes judgement on Mishti without knowing her character and the struggles that she has been through. Mishti still retains the goodness of character despite frequent taunts, and insults by even those that should be defending her.
“When you judge others, you do not define them you define yourself”
Nirmalaji proved yet again how the society acts when a person is victimized. We give labels to those that are not normal or who do not follow the routine norm of the society. Clean your home first before you complain about others.
“The self-righteous scream judgments against others, to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets.”
Which is what Nirmala Soni does and the same goes for the other members of the RV Household. I wish for Abir’s sake, Kunal comes back and proves to be a support to his Bhai and Bhabhi that will be a welcome change. The good souls need someone on their side other than Parul Maasi.
The concept of Nurture vs Nature has also been phenomenally portrayed in YRHPK. Abir and Kunal grew up with the same people. Abir realized at a very young age the battle between right and wrong, because of the misconceptions of baba leaving him and the conniving nature of BB. He has always stood for the moral and right which is why he found a life partner in Mishti with a similar thought process. Kunal’s very idea of wrong and right was a confusing one earlier, and he has stood with what he thought stood for right, namely BB. When he realized that there was another side to this, he makes his own decisions and has metamorphed into a good human being. I do hope makers don’t spoil this character and change him into a negative role.
Also, today’s episode shows the psyche of women who bring down other women and the Rajvansh Parivaar is abundant with those. Where BP and BM have taught both the girls, freedom, standing for the right, the values of making their own decisions and staying strong, Mishti has learnt the art of Mindful living but Kuhu has yet a lot to learn. Mishti has struggled a lot in terms of identity, since childhood and so she has to try a bit harder like Parul Maasi says:
“Mishti ko thoda zyaada mehnat karnapadta hai…”
Mishti has grown past her insecurities with Abir’s tutelage and love, has emerged into a beautiful person who is kind and caring for others because those are the constant things that she has missed before. She values family and relationships, knowing fully well that they don’t like her at her in laws and some, even at her maika. Even in her predicament, she calls the Rajvansh family “meri family”, worries about Ketki and her sorrow because she is very adept in the art of role reversal and empathizing and feels for those around her. Abir too is the same even now, his over protective trait for Mishti is surfaced because she has no one on her side Sometimes the loudest cry has no sound, but he does come back to Ketu to comfort her, unlike the RV women who come to blame,harass or blame Mishti.
You don’t protect your heart by acting that you don’t have one. Having empathy alone is not enough we need the courage to display it. “Women putting other women down is like telling the world that you are more worried about your competition than your progress”.
Mishti thinks out of the box.Yesterday too, for the gud thaal she complimented the entire family.The good strong woman builds another one up rather than tearing her down. She has complimented the rude obnoxious Kuhu time and time again, Jasmeet aunty,when she accepted her as her bahu, supported Varsha aunty when she has been worried for Kuhu, Nidhi Maami about her awesomeness, saved Ketki when she was getting into the wrong relationship with Ved, approved of Parul Maasi and thanked even the taunting Meenu who is constantly pulling her down.
She is Abir’s angry strong chorni and she has not only empathy but also the courage to display it to protect those around her at all times without self-elevation.
Nirmala aunty is shown the mirror by Abir today when he says:
"Aur ye sach bhi nhi badal sakta ki iss izzat ki izzat karna kuch log apno beto kosikhana bhul jate hai!"
“If women ran the world, we would have just intense hateful negotiations every 28 days.We would talk and talk about how the other has behaved and how wrong the other women is”
The role reversal amongst women is so varied, they fail to empathize when they assume different positions, namely that of mother-in-law, daughter-in-law or sister-in-law. As a daughter, she leaves one home to go live with her in-laws and will have a manual of what she will be once she becomes a mother in law, but she forgets every lesson and value she needs to follow once she does become a mom-in-law. The daughter who leaves home to become a daughter-in-law forgets the values at times but never with Mishti or Abir. Though Abir has been lucky to find parents in BP/BM and they a son in him, Mishti is not so lucky.
Like Sonakshi Dev Dixit tells Ishwari Dixit in KRKPAB
“Meri Maa ne kaha
Naye ghar ja rahi hai
tou rishtey bhi naye banengey
Par naam tou wahi hongey
Maa,Maami, Behen
Aur ussey itney hi pyar aur izzat se nibhaana
Jaisey purane rishton ko nibhaatey aayi hai
Mishti has done her job and now we wait patiently for Meenu and others to complete theirs.
The men are more accommodating and open in this regard, because they do not have to move homes after they get married. The environment is the same and they do have a responsibility of seeing their wife treated the same way they would like to see their sisters treated at their in-laws. Their love for their daughter-in-law,like their daughter mostly remains the same, like Naanu does with Nidhi, BP does with Varsha and even Jasmeet and is commendably shown in YRHPK.
They also say “you can always tell how a man will treat his wife by the way he treats his mother” Abir has always spoken the honest truth to his mom and has told her when she goes wrong and has stood by her side always. He has accepted his mistakes where he has gone wrong and the best part is, he never holds grudges. Forgiving and letting go has been his trait which everyone takes advantage of. He brings gifts despite the hurt he feels inside, for Ketki’s GD,because he loves his family sister and mother but all she does is go on a Mishti rant.
He also stands up against injustice to women and any disrespect to them. Men like him are hard to find. We find a lot of Karans than Abir. Mishti has a perfect role model of a mother-in-law from the way BM treats Varsha so Nirmala Soni you know nothing about Rajshri Bhen and her parvarish. Mishti is a tigress who stands up for the morally right and she did so with your son when he tried to misbehave and attack her so who’s parvarish is wrong now I wonder. Just because she is adopted doesn’t mean she gets inferior education than Akshara. She is sick and weak now but she is a spark that can light up the whole world like she has lit up the life of Abir Rajvansh. Mishti is the only reason why Ketki’s bhai is here amidst the furor that you and your would be sambdhis raise.
“Woh nayae rishtey banaane ke liye purane thodti nahin hai and most of all she believes that apnon ko haraaya nahin jitaaya jaata hai.”
Whatever Karan lacked in your parvarish, with Abir and Mishti Varun may benefit isliye rishta thodney se pehley socho like your husband and Varun advise you Nirmalaji.
Your Karma comes for you Meenu comes with a twist, because the treatment that you give your good bahu and son will be served to you. You reap what you sow. You don’t focus on family and love just on power, control through immoral deeds and action plans. You choose convenience for blaming Mishti for everything your son does over compassion for her good heart.
She has helped you in scores of different ways and today if not for her your son may not even be alive. She has kept him grounded with you and you have been nothing but scum and harsh to her. You with your RV company have created discord disharmony and suffering in the family and rightfully so, we label YOU Meenakshi Rajvansh a home breaker. Your RV Sadan though it sings the anthem of “khushiyaan hi khushiyaan” is ironically a conundrum of volatile emotions like hate,distrust and sorrow. The evil that you do to others will come back and bite you soon; it’s only a matter of time.
The art of mindful living involves a conscious conscientious effort to live a life in agreement with good positive values that’s true and right and the Ambe Maa that you constantly invoke. This means not bothering what others think but standing up for what’s right, moral just like Abir and Mishti do without personal benefits.
It doesn’t matter what generation you live in Meenu and Nirmala Soni…times are changing but that doesn’t make you both better bahus than Mishti. We have to ask your mom in law to vouch for you but fortunately for you both, she is not around.
You need to break mindsets, change with the times to provide future generation with better values is the moral.Abir tells Varun that he is not perfect, he strives to change what he feels is not right you should do the same you have a lot of work to do Meenu, but you will get there, if you start soon.
Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.
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Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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