What a tangled web we weave, When we suffer and grieve
Everyone needs a house to live in but a supportive family is what builds a home. A family is where life begins but love never ends. Looking at the Rajvansh family however, many today will be thanking their good fortune that they have what Mishbir don’t or maybe I’m wrong, for that’s the sad state of affairs today. We have moved so far away from the values and traditions laid down by our forefathers and have exchanged it for the modern life that we “enjoy” today that it has corrupted us, thankfully not all of us. Perhaps, this is the theme that the episode conveyed today.
The concept of individual and couple’s privacy in a joint family scenario was aptly addressed in today’s episode. Despite all the people living together in a joint family household each person’s individuality, his aptitude, personality and space is marked and sacred and has to be respected by the elders, peers and youngsters alike. Each individual is like a puzzle piece and one goes missing or is broken, the whole family suffers and there is a gaping hole left. Then again, for all the pieces to fit there has to be some stretchability and workability involved by each and every member of the family.
“Each of us is an individual drop but collectively together we are the ocean.”
Mishbir are not given that space by anyone. They are pushed and pulled in all directions by all the people except Maamu, Ketki and Maasi and they will eventually break which is exactly why Abir has taken the intense step of leaving and he is not happy about it. It’s a sacrifice on his part for the whole family to thrive. The Rajvansh family has always lived on the tune of superficial happiness and is very weak at its core.
Abir is an exemplary figure who has shown us that despite living in a toxic joint family we still can continue to love and live, but for how long is the question because he is caught between saving his love and protecting his sister.
Meenu, today I want to remind you of a Rahim ka doha that I learnt during my school days.
रहिमन धागा प्रेम का, मत तोड़ो चटकाय। ( Rahiman dhaaga prem ka,mat thodo chatkaay)
टूटे से फिर ना जुड़े, जुड़े गाँठ परि जाय॥ (Tootey se phir na judey,judey gaant pari jaay)
The thread of love should never be broken because once it is severed you can try to mend it but there will always be a knot. But, Meenu Bhen you need to take a course in LOVE 101 and not the Mehul kind.
“Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with the lie” If you lie Abir, you will have to add onto that lie and you build a wall and then eventually people will know that you're lying just by the guilty look on your face. For Meenu/ Kuhu/ Jasmeet its an easy task because they are veterans at the “lying and manipulation game”. It’s like coding/debugging for me and no matter what I still do I can never get the hang of it, because I just don’t want to.
You and Mishti cannot be taught that skill. Kuhu and Jasmeet do it again today by stealing Mishti’s bag from right under her nose, Kuhu does it again by handing the ammunition to Meenu and tattle tales on Mishti and Kuhu does her act of cornering Mishti using Jas’s dialog “Kyun moonh mein dahi jamaa kar khadi hai Bol na Mishti”. Kuhu is learning fast and has become a 3 in 1 super combo of Meenu, Jas and Nidhi Maami.
“Telling lies to protect someone only destroys them at the end”, but then again, keeping a secret isn’t always lying sometimes it’s the only way to protect someone you love. Oh Abira, you are caught between a rock and a hard place and with Varun’s insinuating comments it gives us the shivers.
One man’s nectar another’s poison. The trio in your family is working towards outing Mishti’s secret and how long do you think it can be hidden. Your secret which is your metaphorical poison is their nectar. Where you and Mishti follow the rule of grow and let go, they have no idea what it means because life is cut throat competition for them. They step on each other’s toes and happiness to forge their own.
Mishti trusts you with her heart soul and mind and she is astute and has already figured that you have inhibitions about meeting the victim’s family. What will hurt her the most is that she trusts you blindly and you prove to her that she is really blind. You are the person she would take a bullet for and now you’re the one behind the gun? Sure it’s killing you too Abir.
Look at the mess that both of you are in now, because you didn’t talk it over with her. The biggest asset you both have that you seem to have misplaced temporarily (because of your extreme stress) is open and honest communication which none in your family have. “Tum teekh ho, tou mujhe kya ho sakta hai” are identical answers that you give one another.
“She doesn’t just listen to your words,
she hears your tone,
your body movements,
your eyes,
your subtle face expressions and
also interprets your silences.
SHE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING THAT YOU DON’T SAY" Abir.
Your family however, talks and talks and still doesn’t make sense. They’ve lost their brain to mouth filters and what’s in their head flows unobstructed from their mouth like the *DT Edit*. Your mother asking you if you wanted to leave, and relinquishing you of all the responsibilities. Your aunt in law, sis in law and your Maami ganging up and terrorizing your beloved because of what you didn’t tell her is going to destroy your already hurt Mishti. If Kuhu were at the receiving end she would have said “Bro yeh sab Mishti ki wajaah sey hai,” but she didn’t get to say that dialog, or did she today? LOL I’ve lost count.
Mishti understands the battle in your heart. Mishti and you apologize to so many people that we run out of numbers for the times you have apologized even for the transgressions that you have not committed at all. Don’t you think you have the right to hear a sorry every now and then. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” but considering that there is no love in RV Sadan no one has to say sorry at all.
Your mother just has the patented right of making galtis in the RV household and has given full credit to you and Mishti; others that do make mistakes, either hide it or blame some one else for their mistakes like Kuhu conveniently does.
You and your wife are “perfect” are expected to act perfectly because if you don’t there is a contract binding in the RV household, that they can crucify you both Jasmeet included who accuses of Mishti of Kaand, Naak kata di etc. She is doing the same by not defending Mishti who has been brought up by her Taiyaaji/Taiji. Oh,wait a minute her tongue utters what’s in her heart and there’s nothing there but hate for Mishti. Good thing you put her in her place but I highly doubt that she grasped your reprimand yet because it was a short one and she has an unclean mind.
On a deeper psychological level, She and Kuhu I feel are confused admirers of Mishti because they cannot figure out why everyone loves Mishti and why she is actually Mishti Mahaan and they enjoy breaking her because they never can be the gold that Mishti is. Holding onto anger JasKu, is like holding onto an anchor and jumping into the sea. You will hit rock bottom before you can say “tada”.
Welcome to the karma café Meenu Bhen & Co. You will soon get served what you deserve.
I conclude with a Cherokee metaphor
“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson
about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between
two"wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance,self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied,
"The one you feed.”
***************************
Ishaani
Cricket
