Abhir, AbhiM, AbhiMMata

Thank you each and everyone who replied to my yesterday's post. Your thoughts were so enriching. Yes, I may get the character's behavior wrong sometimes. When someone points that out and gives me a diff. perspective, it feels great.

I had proposed during AbhiN accident track that AK has fallen for him already, but then somewhere after that I felt unsure. But I think it was Lostin90 who made me stick to my previous proposition and here we are..👩‍❤️‍👨 🙂❤️

Abhir: This is what I wanted so say since long. The biggest difference between AK, AbhiN vs Abhir is that Abhir is not an HSP ( highly sensitive person). He is empathetic, but extremely pragmatic. Pre- leap AK has remained in a suffocating relationship due to her overtly empathetic nature. Rather, she never left, she was kicked out of it. AbhiN is 10 times more HSP than AK. He can leave what is his own, imagining that the act will bring happiness to others. What AK and AbhiN do not know is where to draw a boundary, but Abhir knows. Hence, he is the right person to teach his father the lesson, or has the ability to redeem him.

You see Abhir saying to AbhiN, AK, 'yeh emotional drama band karo', 'Rona band karo'.

Yes, he took all the efforts to reach to Docman in the hospital, who had cured his papa, but after doing what he wished, he was over it. Abhir is extremely ethical. During his birthday, he did not get carried away by emotions in the moment, nor by the gifts/best birthday party given by AbhiM. He prioritized his parents out of love and also out of ethical rule of celebrating birthday party.

AK has faltered in emotions many a times due to her sensitive nature, also we see that happening with AbhiN. But, I anticipate that would not be the case with Abhir. Anyone can rule over AK- AbhiN, control them, but not Abhir.

There was beautiful scene. Abhir decided to trouble AbhiM during his first visit to Kasauli as he was troubling his parents. He dirtied his shirt, bit on his hand, resisted him picking up in his arms and took away the muffler Ruhi had given him. After it AbhiM, said, I am feeling alone today as one thing I was feeling was mine ( Ruhi's muffler), you took it away that too. I see that scene as a foreshadow of the things to come. In gaining his haq over Abhir, AbhiM is going to become alone like he never was. He may hv 'haq' over Abhir physically but not on his heart. Shayad, "AbhiM ki jeet mei hi usaki haar hai..!"

AbhiM & AbhiMMata: Everyone is superupset with AbhiMMata. Even I said she is the most vile person on earth in yesterday's post. No one can defend her act and that of AbhiM in the temple. Many a times people point out that AbhiM acts the way he acts due to AbhiMMata. But, that is not true. AbhiM's temple confession, his recent stay at Kasauli are against the wish of AbhiMMata. Hence, not every act of AbhiM be blamed on her. Yes, they are extremely similar in nature to each other. It should be noted that they are the pair from beginning. I am not defending their actions, but just trying to understand why they are the way they are?

Manjiri had a excruciatingly painful marriage, everything about her was laughed at. How much ever she tried being liked by her husband, kept sacrificing, she got abuse in return. AbhiM as a child has been her companion through this pain, her confidente, her everything. AbhiM suffered the same pain that Manjiri suffered.

AbhiMMata knows pain that her son has been through. She has made a conclusion that being giving, sacrificing does not serve a purpose, you have to be controlling, demanding, manipulating to get what you want. She was happy with AK, acted like her Maa, because AK was similar to her before AK- AbhiM relationship came to light, then when she realized she is the person making her son happy, she loved her to the sky. But, her son's happiness was always her priority. Many a times she mediated between AK- AbhiM, tried resolving issues because she wanted them (her son) to be happy. But, she saw the pain her son went through after AK left him for a year. That is when everything changed. She wanted someone who is doormat, for her son, who will make sure that her son is happy all the time. She realized that AK is not what she thinks. AK has mind of her own, she takes decisions of her own which do hurt her son. She became controlling, manipulating, demanding to AK. Now, she is doing the same to AbhiN.

Yes, both AbhiMMata and AbhiM act vile, but that is because there is nothing but pain inside them. They are empty inside. They want nothing but to feel happy, loved, that too from someone they call their own. Your uncle loving you and your father loving you is altogether different. You have a sense of belonging with your father. Ruhi is asking her poppy to become her papa, because she wants to feel that sense of belonging. Abhir's case is different. He never knew the truth and has already developed a strong sense of belonging with AbhiN. That is why AbhiM's priority changed after Abhir's truth was revealed. Now, he wants to feel loved by his OWN son, the way he wanted to feel loved his OWN father.

As I am saying it all along, AbhiM is happy in kasauli not only because Abhir, but because the warmth Sharma house gives. Unfortunately, AbhiM does not have anything inside him to give, he can only take, rather suck. One can feed someone who has stomach, but how you can satiate someone's hunger who does not have stomach in first place. AbhiM just does not hv ability to feel love (A sign of Narcicistic trait), hence even after having, they want to hv more and are never satiated.

But Abhir has said that he will fight the Octopus and come out as a winner. Now, is his win, the change in AbhiM or end of AbhiM, will be interesting to see. I hope for the first, but feel later will be the case as, as per theory, Narcicist do not change.

What you said about AbhiM makes me feel sad for him 🥺 even though I’m an AkshNav shipper but I also empathize with AbhiM and feel he deserves to be loved too. His son’s and someone who could give him that warmth and make him feel at home! Like he feels at the Sharmas. He’s not a bad guy, just flawed and under the influence of his mom and the toxic birlas. 😔

Good God! This is so extreme I am not even sure how to discuss it. But I am going to focus on two points: Abhi being a narcissist and Ak being an HSP.

Ak, being HSP is wrong on so many accounts I am not sure you even meant that. Infact, Abhi shows many traits of high sensitivity, but HSP is an actual neurodivergent condition, and in my opinion, ITV is not qualified to show any kind of mental issues, so nope. Ak might be an empath, and I believe that is what you meant. But......I don't entirely agree with that, either. Ak is very empathetic, yes, in all her relationships....except for with Abhi. With Abhi, she has a huge blind spot. Not saying she doesn't understand his pain; she does; she just chooses to ignore it. This has happened over and over again, enough for the viewers to understand it's happening but not her. I am not saying anything about Abhi's demands of prioritizing him or anything. In general, this is the case. Ak has also been extremely vile towards Abhi when she was angry. If Abhi brought up the seerat ma issue, Ak brought up Abhi being like his dad in one of their very first fights as a married couple. And the fight wasn't even about them; it was about Manjari. Ak was right then, but that doesn't erase her purposely hurting Abhi.

Abhi being a narcissist - a BIG FAT NO. Again I would say same things, itv isn't qualified. More importantly, Abhi's characterization was not done like that. There is a lot of rewriting and retroactively changing the narrative to make it seem like that. But we, as the viewers, do not forget things. First, Abhira were not in a toxic relationship. Those in a toxic relationship often don't recognize it, but those outside of it can. So many people were and are still in love with Abhira. More importantly, Ak's family loved Abhira.

In any case, narcissism comprises of a few basic things :

1. Having an inflated sense of ego - Abhi has never really shown any ego about his career or looks or pretty much anything except for his love. This type of thing usually isn't constrained to specific interests. Narcissism is all-consuming, and if Abhi were a narcissist, he would have gone for stuff that was more easily accessible, like his medical achievements, which you pretty much never see him talking about. If he were a narcissist, he would also likely have a lot of girlfriends or something just for attention.

2. Believing they are better/superior to others - When exactly has he ever done this? On the other hand, we have seen him talk to everyone from rich to poor, young to old, with equal respect.

3. Not recognizing the needs of others - Abhi didn't just take care of Ak's needs ( emotional, career-wise, physical, etc.), but also the needs of his family. He literally adopted Neil and was a father to him. Neil loved him, and Abhi did everything for him. If you think he only adopted Neil to have someone admire him, then I should remind you that Abhi was a child back then; he already had a lot of admiration, and getting another child to share that attention is not what children want.

4. Display Envy, Bragging, Conceit, etc - I don't have to tell you that is just not Abhi

So by which factors exactly is he a narcissist ?????

Abhi is a survivor of his bad childhood, yes, but that doesn't automatically give him a disorder. He is empathetic and kind and has pretty much all the other emotions of a normal person. His anger is easily understood by a lot of people on this forum. If Ak felt caged in that relationship, she did not have to go back to him. There was no pressure from his end. The pressure was cause there was a court date, and Ak realized she couldn't live without Abhi.

Lastly, please stop rewriting the entire narrative/ character based on a few instances.

Originally posted by: lagjagale

Good God! This is so extreme I am not even sure how to discuss it. But I am going to focus on two points: Abhi being a narcissist and Ak being an HSP.

Ak, being HSP is wrong on so many accounts I am not sure you even meant that. Infact, Abhi shows many traits of high sensitivity, but HSP is an actual neurodivergent condition, and in my opinion, ITV is not qualified to show any kind of mental issues, so nope. Ak might be an empath, and I believe that is what you meant. But......I don't entirely agree with that, either. Ak is very empathetic, yes, in all her relationships....except for with Abhi. With Abhi, she has a huge blind spot. Not saying she doesn't understand his pain; she does; she just chooses to ignore it. This has happened over and over again, enough for the viewers to understand it's happening but not her. I am not saying anything about Abhi's demands of prioritizing him or anything. In general, this is the case. Ak has also been extremely vile towards Abhi when she was angry. If Abhi brought up the seerat ma issue, Ak brought up Abhi being like his dad in one of their very first fights as a married couple. And the fight wasn't even about them; it was about Manjari. Ak was right then, but that doesn't erase her purposely hurting Abhi.

Abhi being a narcissist - a BIG FAT NO. Again I would say same things, itv isn't qualified. More importantly, Abhi's characterization was not done like that. There is a lot of rewriting and retroactively changing the narrative to make it seem like that. But we, as the viewers, do not forget things. First, Abhira were not in a toxic relationship. Those in a toxic relationship often don't recognize it, but those outside of it can. So many people were and are still in love with Abhira. More importantly, Ak's family loved Abhira.

In any case, narcissism comprises of a few basic things :

1. Having an inflated sense of ego - Abhi has never really shown any ego about his career or looks or pretty much anything except for his love. This type of thing usually isn't constrained to specific interests. Narcissism is all-consuming, and if Abhi were a narcissist, he would have gone for stuff that was more easily accessible, like his medical achievements, which you pretty much never see him talking about. If he were a narcissist, he would also likely have a lot of girlfriends or something just for attention.

2. Believing they are better/superior to others - When exactly has he ever done this? On the other hand, we have seen him talk to everyone from rich to poor, young to old, with equal respect.

3. Not recognizing the needs of others - Abhi didn't just take care of Ak's needs ( emotional, career-wise, physical, etc.), but also the needs of his family. He literally adopted Neil and was a father to him. Neil loved him, and Abhi did everything for him. If you think he only adopted Neil to have someone admire him, then I should remind you that Abhi was a child back then; he already had a lot of admiration, and getting another child to share that attention is not what children want.

4. Display Envy, Bragging, Conceit, etc - I don't have to tell you that is just not Abhi

So by which factors exactly is he a narcissist ?????

Abhi is a survivor of his bad childhood, yes, but that doesn't automatically give him a disorder. He is empathetic and kind and has pretty much all the other emotions of a normal person. His anger is easily understood by a lot of people on this forum. If Ak felt caged in that relationship, she did not have to go back to him. There was no pressure from his end. The pressure was cause there was a court date, and Ak realized she couldn't live without Abhi.

Lastly, please stop rewriting the entire narrative/ character based on a few instances.

This 🤌🏻

I am usually a Akshara supporter. I understood a lot of her decisions. But now seeing her prioritising Abhinav even over Abhir(it is true coz precap also she is more worried abhinav ko kaisa lagega instead of Abhir ko kya kaise btana hai)

Means she is capable enough to understand that yes a married couple should priorities eachother above family yet she never did that with Abhi.

@bold also true specially that time he said whatever you decide i will follow even though i want to give us a chance.

Was he completely wrong on the day Neil died- Yes.

Is he trying to get better recently - also, yes.

Did he proposed to Akshara knowing she is married - Yes

Did he take the rejection and her recent confession of loving abhinav maturely - also, Yes.

So saying abhimanyu is a vile person will be wrong too. During Abhira if they were toxic then it's not coz of only abhimanyu akshu too plays a huge role in it.

That remorse i find missing. They could have also show Akshara realising where she went wrong in her past relationships and decided to move ahead without making the same ones instead of her blaming everything on Abhi.