Naitik's anger justified? (real life example)

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Posted: 15 years ago

You know people... I dunno why I am bringing this here, but it really occured to me that I bring it (afterall the scenario is so similar).

I had an uncle whose family used to be similar to YRKKH. Even after 1 full year of marriage, my uncle didnt get one romantic moment with his wife who used to be busy pleasing HIS family...from dawn to late at night. (His family is reputed to be ultra conservative too).

This uncle of mine was(is) very educated, and got a scholarship in France. Three years later we came to know that he married a French in France... and not for the visa mind-you... he had no interest in his first wife.

I know, its so low. I dont like this (neither does my family or any good person). ... but now come to think of it....did he have a choice?

Twice he wanted to take his wife and seperate. He could take care of his family (his family being rich by all terms) ... and yet have a life. But the wife didnt want to seperate. Actually, to him it always seemed that he is in the bottom of the priority list (I remember this is what Naitik said too... and there is where I remembered this uncle). He mentioned this to my Cha Cha (his closest cousin, friend).

This uncle is still in France....and they have a son.

YEP... it can turn this GRIM in real life. Believe you me guyz...believe you me!

So is Naitik's anger justified? What do you think a wife should do?

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mahi

@mahi06

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Posted: 15 years ago

tat was a gud one........................

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222864

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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: mahi06

tat was a gud one........................

Your really think so...it created a momentary BAWAAL though...

I mean...love is universal. I respect it.... but maybe he crossed some lines there as he was not single atleast not in paper.

I know Naitik's case might be different (hopefully), as he seems to be that ideal man. But... do you think that the ideal man deserves only lunch and breakfast from his wife?

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-Pravin-

@-Pravin-

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Posted: 15 years ago

Sometime that's happened but i think it's all about understading & adjustment...

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preksha

@pree4ru

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+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: PRAVINP
Sometime that's happened but i think it's all about understading & adjustment...

ya true if u adjust then not a prob nd unerstanding is must

Edited by pari__saumya - 15 years ago

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222864

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Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: pari__saumya

ya true if u adjust then not a prob nd unerstanding is must

Yea but adjusting to what? Understanding what??

Is the relationship between a husband and wife limited to breakfast, lunch and dinner? Is here nothing more to it?

What is the wife's main concern?

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Lathika

@hide

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: LoneStranger
You know people... I dunno why I am bringing this here, but it really occured to me that I bring it (afterall the scenario is so similar).

I had an uncle whose family used to be similar to YRKKH. Even after 1 full year of marriage, my uncle didnt get one romantic moment with his wife who used to be busy pleasing HIS family...from dawn to late at night. (His family is reputed to be ultra conservative too).

This uncle of mine was(is) very educated, and got a scholarship in France. Three years later we came to know that he married a French in France... and not for the visa mind-you... he had no interest in his first wife.

I know, its so low. I dont like this (neither does my family or any good person). ... but now come to think of it....did he have a choice?

Twice he wanted to take his wife and seperate. He could take care of his family (his family being rich by all terms) ... and yet have a life. But the wife didnt want to seperate. Actually, to him it always seemed that he is in the bottom of the priority list (I remember this is what Naitik said too... and there is where I remembered this uncle). He mentioned this to my Cha Cha (his closest cousin, friend).

This uncle is still in France....and they have a son.

YEP... it can turn this GRIM in real life. Believe you me guyz...believe you me!

So is Naitik's anger justified? What do you think a wife should do?

Whether Naitik's anger justified or not, your uncle's action definitely not justified..

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San

@sanw

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

its so difficult to answer this question after reading Ur story.

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Renu

@-renu-

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: LoneStranger

You know people... I dunno why I am bringing this here, but it really occured to me that I bring it (afterall the scenario is so similar). 

I had an uncle whose family used to be similar to YRKKH. Even after 1 full year of marriage, my uncle didnt get one romantic moment with his wife who used to be busy pleasing HIS family...from dawn to late at night. (His family is reputed to beultra conservative too).



This uncle of mine was(is) very educated, and got a scholarship in France. Three years later we came to know that he married a French in France... and not for the visa mind-you... he had no interest in his first wife.

I know, its so low. I dont like this (neither does my family or any good person). ... but now come to think of it....did he have a choice?

Twice he wanted to take his wife and seperate. He could take care of his family (his family being rich by all terms) ... and yet have a life. But the wife didnt want to seperate.Actually, to him it always seemed that he is in the bottom of the priority list (I remember this is what Naitik said too... and there is where I remembered this uncle). He mentioned this to my Cha Cha (his closest cousin, friend).

This uncle is still in France....and they have a son.

YEP... it can turn this GRIM in real life. Believe you me guyz...believe you me!

So is Naitik's anger justified? What do you think a wife should do?

I think, in your uncle's case..

...your aunt was right in not wanting to separate.........Indian "sanskaars" u know.....
..even your uncle was not wrong in wanting his wife by his side......

...but i think together your uncle n aunt should have had an open discussion with the entire family....putting all the facts together very very openly...........trying to reach an amicable solution.....

BUT YOUR UNCLE HAD NO BUSINESS DISRESPECTING HIS MARRIAGE THIS WAY........ actually....probably your aunt is better off like this....rather than spending her life with this kind of a person..........

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222864

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Posted: 15 years ago

#10

Yep guyz... I understand what you mean. I am with you all the way.

The point is, the family situation was much like Naitik's one. Infact it still is. They are ULTRA CONSERVATIVES. Plus the Dadi Amma there needs constant attention (the she is very critical about lapses in that). The SASU MA have her own ego problems.

Although they are kind people. But, see Naitik's home... its almost exact.

My uncle (a distant cousin of my father) came to my mind since Naitik told 'I am on the bottom of your priority list'. I suddenly remembered my Cha Cha saying that this uncle told him the same thing ...

Working from dawn to late at night.... trying to be the perfect bahu ... and also taking care of the culture and traditions of the house....really leaves no opportunity for the husband.

After marriage, a husband's main concentration doesnt always remain in the cuisine. He might have other hopes, other ideas or plans. He might have a dream for his married self...

Open discussion with family happens where there is a culture of discussion. Not where there is no culture of discussion, and the Alpha Male of the family makes the decisions. And there are no debates or consultation after he has stamped his decision on everyone.

He did want to seperate ... he lovingly wanted that. She didnt pay attention. MAYBE NAITIK IS ABOUT TO WISH FOR THE SAME.

My question was: In the entire scenario... how much do you think is the wife's fault?