Anjie,
Thanks for making this post. I was going to make a post on the "Sapne" part of the story too. You made some excellent points and I was pondering on some of these for a while. Here are my two cents on this matter.
One of the key issue of migration post marriage is future goals of respective partners.
At one point of time, it was expected that a woman wants to be with her husband and raise/take care of his family and that is her chief duty/goal/dream in life. So women were married off without worrying about WHERE they will relocate.
Even if the man decided to move to another city or country after marriage, it was taken for granted that the woman will follow. Even the women with jobs (sometimes careers, incomplete education) might protest initially (based on the equation at home) but if it was important for HIM, it has to be important for HER.
Since a few decades, urban or even in some of the rural areas, women started having (and sometimes expressing or insisting on) opinions on these matters and still most parents (on both sides) are not used to this.
Aru's parents (they are one of the worst parents on various counts, but this one is not unusual for a traditional family), or her extended family accepted the fact, that she will not bother about her dreams once she agreed to marry.
Firstly because, Aru (and her folks) always believed that her dreams can be fulfilled in Ahmedabad (Amadawad as most Gujraati folks call it). (A girl born and raised in city is bound to think so). And now since her location is changed, they are unattainable.
Secondly, everyone assumed her need to succeed is not for any kind of personal fulfilment or growth but only for the sake of earning money to provide comforts to her parents. In their own way, her parents wanted a safe future for both their daughters. (Remember, how Aru keeps on telling her mother that she should stop talking about her wedding).
And now with her marrying to a kind and rich man, in her parent's as well as , extended family's mind, that part is taken care of. At some unconscious level, they know that this son in law is the best substitute they will get for a son. (To her parents, the proverbial son's role which Aru used to fulfil is already taken over by Mukhi)
At one level, when Aru agreed to marry, a part of her was ready to give up on those dreams (in spite of Mukhi's assurance in the wedding), because she assumed that this wedding will change her life as she knew it. Her outburst of loosing the dreams happened only after Mukhi refused to accept the wedding on grih pravesh. It was a situation of loosing it all for her.
Her every reaction after that, has to be seen in the light of the fact that
her ultimate sacrifice was wasted on a situation which was not worth it. So once Mukhi agreed to set her free, everything she did was to make sure that what she agreed to give up was not wasted. Her coming back, staying till Mishri's marriage was to validate her decision (if only to herself).
Mukhi understood it much better than most. His decision to set her free was a similar instance. It was his ultimate sacrifice. He was opening himself for possible ridicule, heartbreak and loneliness. But it is his validation of his decision too.
And at this stage things (feelings, decisions. expectations and future goals) are at a nascent stage for both of them. She has not yet figured out what she has decided on her career front or which variables have changed. Her work of selling dupatta or all other things she was doing were mostly "Odd jobs" which she was doing while completing her MBA to meet the expenses. (Like most kids do during their Master's in Western countries) They were
NOT her business plans.
Her almost finalized last plan on work front was probably
a fortnight ago and it included a business (we do not know the specifics) but it involved investors and an office and a five figure salary. Suddenly, neither Mukhi nor Aru can visualize her changing it and come up with a new one. (Even the work in the factory was a temporary arrangement and it was clear to both)
If her dreams of being a businesswoman can be fulfilled in a village depends upon how resourceful she is. (which she is). And they both will eventually figure it out.
(I have not forgotten that I have not addressed the expectations of a lot of people on Forum that Mukhi should move to the city, but that is a matter of another (maybe equally long) post)
But saying locations do not matter to a dream is not entirely right. It is a logical fallacy. It does matter. It depends on the dream. If someone wants to learn to be pastry chef or a ballet dancer or an engineer, they need to be in a place for that. Aru's case have the possibility of it being location independent to an extent based on what her reasons and exact aspirations are. Edited by C0raline - 8 years ago
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