Limits of a platonic friendship- The honour contract between man&w

bluejalpari17 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1


Just finished watching the episode...my first emotion-- my heart was distraught for Aru today. Very Very distraught. This is the same Mukhi with whom she used to banter and fight day and night. But back then she didnt care if he insulted her, or laughed at her or put down her opinions. But now..he matters to her...a lot. And now, she is clinging to every word of his, every expression..she wants to see him very happy with her.
She is telling herself she wants to say "thank you" for all his efforts towards her...but in reality she wants to do much more...she want to feel what it means to be his wife..his number one confidante in life.
But she does not know how to go from this point A to point B. And she is in this journey alone..Mukhi does not even consider her his wife in the true sense as yet and he has not expressed any pangs of love toward her. But he could still have been more sensitive and humane towards her...rather than making it clear to everybody that he valued Saanvi's friendship more.

I found Saanvi also to be at huge fault today...when Aru apologized to her, and asked Saanvi if she made pakodas for Mukhi, Saanvi said no, and she did not divulge that she makes Halwa for Mukhi on each of his birthday. She should not have hidden that from Aru. Telling Aru that upfront would have saved Aru's embarrasment in front of all. The problem here is not that he has a good friend who makes him halwa. Maybe its Saanvi's birthday too...but whatever it was , it should not have been hidden from Aru. The problem is ARU IS KEPT IN THE DARK COMPLETELY ABOUT THE NATURE OF THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MUKHI AND SAANVI. Neither bothers to inform her about any of their regular ways of celebrating their friendship. No wonder, Aru will feel as if she is coming in between Mukhi and Saanvi. And sorry, this does not add up in Mukhi's characters. He is a simple down to earth guy who thinks and speaks openly..and has nothing to hide. The fact that he never mentioned to gaurani whether before or after their marriage that his and Saanvi's wedding was considered 15 yrs back, or that he still has a great friendship with her to the extent he can share the dairy with her, and demand halwa from her on his birthday...it just does not add up in Mukhi character at all. Mukhi is an emotional guy and wears his heart on his sleeve...his love for Mishri, trust on Rami were made very evident.

What are the limits of a platonic friendship?

There are, and should be some limits. No matter how great friends a guy and girl are. Saanvi went overboard today when she told Aru that she knows Mukhi and understands Mukhi so well and she is sure he will not like the cake hungama. She, a good friend of a guy, is telling the wife, that " hey I know and understand your husband better".
NOT DONE SAANVI, SO NOT DONE. Even own sisters do not behave with such possesiveness when they know that the new wife is trying to adjust and make a place in her husband's life. I would dare not say those things to my own brother's wife, even though she is younger than me, because its her prerogative to know her husband and understand him, differently than me. The understanding required in every relationship is different. Friends are people you hand around with, share things with. Spouse is someone you live with, sharing a lifetime with. And there are duties and honour to be abided by. The only good things Saanvi did today were trying to hide her halwa , though instead she could have taken the wife in confidence , told her she makes this every year and jara chakke dekho. Has she made Aru an confidant, Aru would not have felt so left out. Saanvi also pointed out that Aru should think about why she got angry..good point here..Aru needs to get to why.

I had a close friend at work who worked with me for 2-3 years before I was married. Platonic..friend in a group type. He came to my wedding reception and actually had the nerve to tell my husband ( who knew me for about 3 months , arranged marriage)...you know her just for few months, I know her for years.!! I was so embarrassed and shocked, cause I didn't know what he was trying to imply...but luckily for me, my husband had a great comeback. He told him, boss, it does not matter how long you know her, she is now my wife and she will be with me for a lifetime"...😆😆..us friend ki bolti band hogayi. Friends..SHOULD AND MUST KNOW THEIR LIMITS WHEN DEALING WITH A MARRIED FRIEND AND HIS/HER SPOUSE. Beating drums about ur great friendship and how well you know ..does not do any good. No friend has a right to make the spouse feel small or bad by trying to lighten the marriage in front of their friendship. Its never about how long you know each other, its about if your personalities are right for each other for bring life partner, its about compatibility. A friend who knows you for 30 years may not be as compatible as the guy you met yesterday...completely possible right.

And this is a village for god sake, not a hi -fi city like Mumbai or Delhi where man-woman friendships are a norm. This is Amboli gaav, and in villages even platonic friendships are doubted.


Agreed, ArMu dont know where they stand with each other...they have not accepted each other as husband wife. So Mukhi is fine in thinking of all this as excessive hungama by his city wife. But the halwa thing absolutely disturbed me. I would say even halwa he should have fed Aru first...rather he took Aru's cake and will feed it to Sanvi first. There will be reasons from his side...not to satisfy Aru.

All three, Mukhi, Aru and Saanvi were twisted out of character today. But more so Mukhi and Saanvi were totally out of the line. Aru could have asked for his favourite food and cooked instead of cake, but she is city born and is used to celebrating birthdays with cake , so thats what she made. If she could eat Mukhi's chat and chana chor garam and chay ki chuski because thats what he likes, he could eat the cake and feed her nicely because thats what she likes ...and he should have done that. He could have told her later that its too much of hungama for him.

This actually is also a battle of their lifestyles. How they spend each day and how different it is for the other is a very true problem in a marriage. Me and my husband even use different peelers and knives in the kitchen, we have different ways of working, and god forbid if we cook together we are going to spend that good amount of time bickering about which way is better. This is after 15 years of marriage. Ofcourse, we have a good laugh about it, and it ends there .But Aru and Mukhi are so different, even with lifestyles that this gap of cake Vs halwa is much bigger than it seems.

Saanvi eventually will play cupid, I think she will make Mukhi understand that Aru loves him. But "I want Mukhi to show some brain and heart himself.

One more thing..I had a feeling after Aru told him she got dressed for him and he is making fun of her makeup, he has realized Aru is doing certain things for him..getting dressed for him is not a small thing. He is probably realizing she is getting attached...and therefore purposefully he is being obtuse...deliberately...so she can go away in peace and not be attached to him. This might be going on in his mind.

Remember that ArMu make up very well after fights and after each fight their relationship becomes more sweeter and stronger..so waiting for the fights and then the patchups...those are must right.!!

Enjoying!


Edited by bluejalpari17 - 8 years ago

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Tshaheen thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
Dear Jalpari,
Excellent reviews really enjoyed reading it! Please keep giving us a reviews like this every day,and one question does Mukhi doing this kinda act intentionally to make Aru goes without attachment ? I suppose he is getting the feeling that Aru is falling for him??otherwise what is the reason for him to be so rude when she asked to wish and blow candles?Thanks for your reviews,please keep writing!
princy48 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#3
Lovely analysis dear...!!⭐️👏
Especially the point of liking each odrs likes...chana and cake scenario...absolutely...correct..!!
Thats the point wer mukhi disappointed me n aru was also at fault knowingly or unknowingly..sanvi added masala to it..the epi became clumsy towards d end...i felt a discomfort ryt frm aru bringing d cake n mukhi's signs t sanvi..moreover the scene wer aru says abt wishing sumthng...dats wer i felt mukhi sort of insulted her🤢..by telling her she shud hav made halwa😡...aru ka face down hgya tha...yeah i agree he is unaware of his own feelings her feelings for him,but someone close t u made a cute gesture which they didnt do b4 ...cant u jus appreciate or thank them for that...that's the point i gt irked ystdy🤢...anyways i dnt wana jump to conclusions this soon..lets wait for tdy's epi🥱..as u said,there was a change in mukhi's attitude after the whole lalji n sharab wala kaand..dont know if he is doing it unkowingly or purposefully..i go round round n get struck at dis point evrytym i think these days😕..may be he is distancing himself or he is irritated at d fact she will be leaving him in few days...the diary wala scene 😛...wer mukhi says chali jayegi na 2 din mein kyu batau in a childish tone😳..may be he is trying t take in d fact that she will no more be a part of his lyf n thats making him do weird things out of character as u say😊

Thanku 😉
Edited by princy48 - 8 years ago
kavmuks thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4
Lovely Lovely post .. Loved reading ..some of the points running on mind and became so clear..
Debashri123 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
As usual...an insightful post!! Actually, what I feel is that Mukhi is the most humanly flawed character here...I am discovering some very contrasting traits in him each time. As a member of the audience, I tend to love him and feel like scolding him at the same time...also, the CVs...have created a bit of an over the top mystery around this diary...and that mysterious (personal) approach of Mukhi towards the Diary makes him all the more quirky a character. Saanvi's grey shade became evident for the first time today...so yes, when pitted against Aru's confused-hurt-humiliated-embarassed self...it would take the main plot of Aru-Mukhi Moh to a new direction...I am sure, Saanvi is there to propel the relationship between ArMu...knowingly as well as unknowingly. She will (I hope) get Mukhi thinking. And yes, Saanvi clearly overstepped today!!
I have another observation here...since Mukhi thought that he was marrying Dharmi...I can't blame Mukhi for not having disclosed about his past relationship with Saanvi to Aru...Aru was also forced into marriage but at least she knew who is behind the sehra but for Mukhi...it was a situation of betrayal, shock...to an extent, FRAUD!! Nevertheless, I now want to really know what was the relationship of Saanvi with Mukhi...and would like Aru to ask Mukhi about it directly!! She has the right to know. I don't understand why are so many things, under wraps till now...the story about Mishri, Saanvi's late husband (I somehow, missed that part)...Dharmi's situation in Mumbai!! Anyways, I hope the makers adequately address all these aspects...and ensure that all of it is given a proper closure.
Nice post Jalpari...very interesting!!
Edited by Debashri123 - 8 years ago
malkasub thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Superb Analysis! Really changed my views on the situation.
I had so far just looked at it as a natural reaction from Mukhi, the dafford that he is (and many guys are) in these situations, but like you said Saanvi... she has totally stepped over the line. 100% agree that Saanvi should have told Aru about whatever she knows. You have mentioned such a valid point about friends and partners. There is a very thin invisible line, but it sure marks the boundary. I have experienced something like you have said too.

Mukhi could be considered as insensitive in this situation but Saanvi seems to be getting oversmart. Deb is so right about the grey shades of Saanvi coming out. That too so subtly that maybe we may never catch on... Oh no! Was she the one who put out the clothes and jewels for Aru!😡
violette thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#7
Hi Blue,

Since long I had been wanting to reply ur posts.. finally I got a chance.. so here it goes..

"She want to feel what it means to be his wife..his number one confidante in life."

--Absolutely right! She wants to b his soulmate.. and cant see Saanvi already takin up tht place.. Poor girl.. she doesnt know where she is heading.. its actually not her fault.. she is jst like tht impulsive, young.. and very inexperience and immature in love.. unline Saanvi.. and Mukhi's buddupana in matters of love is not helping her either.. the only person who can put some sense in Mukhi's bheja is saanvi.. lets c how she approaches this matter.. or will she chose not to interfere betn pati-patni?


"Mukhi does not even consider her his wife in the true sense as yet and he has not expressed any pangs of love toward her. But he could still have been more sensitive and humane towards her...rather than making it clear to everybody that he valued Saanvi's friendship more."

--Err.. yes.. Mukhi was insensitive to..Aru.. bt again its a character flaw..tht existed in him from the start... sometimes he is jst so stubborn, dufford and insensitive.. and cannot see what is right infront of his eyes.. Mukhi shud've appreciated her efforts on his bday rather thn praising his beauty.. tht way it wud;ve made her less insecure..

" She should not have hidden that from Aru."

--I find no fault of Saanvi here.. she chose to not interfere betn a pati-patni..after being insulted once already.. which is fine... even i wud've done tht.. Saanvi knows her limits in her fship.. and unless Aru asks her explicitly she wudnt want to impose her opinion abt Mukhi's likes and dislikes on Aru.. waht if Mukhi had really liked the cake.. thn we wud've put Saanvi at fault again.. bt jst bcoz Mukhi doesnt have the same feelings as Aru.. he cudnt appreciate her efforts.. and its not Saanvi's fault.. its thr own fault.. for letting a third person decide the course of thr feelings for each other.. thnk God tht Saanvi doesnt have any alternate agenda.. otherwise she can make full use of thr misunderstanding..


"ARU IS KEPT IN THE DARK COMPLETELY ABOUT THE NATURE OF THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN MUKHI AND SAANVI. Neither bothers to inform her about any of their regular ways of celebrating their friendship. "

"this does not add up in Mukhi's characters."

--Aru-Mukhi's rship never has been an open one.. so i dont see y Saanvi-Mukhi shud share thr secrets with her.. its she who shud've approached thm.. as i said, if she had asked no one was going to hide anything from her.. everyone in Amboli village is aware of it.. and tht itself is a proof tht thrs nothing tht Saanvi-Mukhi wanted to hide... so Aru shud've better judged the situation and ppl involved. bt obviously she was not in her right senses... the problem is, she jst assumed things and felt it was her right to know abt Saanvi-Mukhi's past.. when in reality the relation betn Mukhi-Aru doesnt even exist for her to demand such thing.. so Mukhi was right in a way bt agreed he was very insensitive to Aru's feelings.. bt i cannot find him at the fault for this point.. I will maintain tht the reason of thr discord (betn Aru Mukhi) is thr lack of communication.. and noone else is to b blamed for tht..

"Saanvi went overboard today when she told Aru that she knows Mukhi and understands Mukhi so well and she is sure he will not like the cake hungama. "

--See here as i told, Aru specifically asked hence Saanvi gave her opinion.. it is upto Aru how she takes it.. she ignored Saanvi's opinion and went ahead and did what she thot was best for Mukhi.. and didnt bother to inquire what Mukhi actually liked..

Whatever Saanvi told was from a friend's perspective.. and i find absolutely nothing wrong in her statements (which were btw facts) bt it was Aru who found her as a competition and found a need to establish herself as his wife.. really SAanvi never really provoked her.. I m sure.. Aru will not find Saanvi at fault tomorrow.. its her own doing.. her own mind tht is playing with her feelings..due to the love tht she has started to feel for Mukhi..

--bt with ur personal anecdote i agree where ur judgement is coming from.. bt remember here SAanvi is his "childhood" friend.. BFF.. its like literally having a sibling.. who knows u in and out, unlike ur spouse.. who wud only know u better after years of togetherness.. so no i still didnt find anything wrong in Saanvi's conduct.. in fact she is more mature and sensible in understanding relations thn Aru-Mukhi combined..

"And this is a village for god sake, not a hi -fi city like Mumbai or Delhi where man-woman friendships are a norm. This is Amboli gaav, and in villages even platonic friendships are doubted. "

--I dont want to b rude.. bt this is where the regressive mindset r sprouted.. y r we so judgmental abt man-woman fship... y shud Mukhi-Saanvi constraint thr true and pure fship and follow the so called "ideal" code of conduct..jst bcoz of its setting.. wen we don't even know thr exact situation... y?.. and thn we wish for a progressive show.. really.. our biases makes us judgmental.. i wud like to say tht village ppl understand platonic rships equally better as us urbans.. i have observed both the lives and i can say tht with surity.. tht No Rural Ppl r Not "Always" Closed Minded.. thy r indeed very large and open hearted to every positive and progressive change..tht helps thm grow as a community..

(These media ppl shud stop stereotyping villagers/rurals as regressive ppl.. and we shud stop forming our opinion based on thr skewed reports)

"If she could eat Mukhi's chat and chana chor garam and chay ki chuski because thats what he likes, he could eat the cake and feed her nicely because thats what she likes ...and he should have done that."

--i really dont like the idea of imposing one's likes and dislikes on one's spouses.. i mean really.. we are in a different century for god's sake.. why do ppl believe.. tht following one's likes and dislikes = love.. respecting other's choices and giving a freedom of expression to thr individuality is love.. to let the person b and like what he/she likes..

Again u gave a personal life example, this is exactly what i mean.. y shud Aru-Mukhi b any different.. this is wat thy need to learn.. to make this love work, thy need to close the gap betn the halwa and the cake..

"He is probably realizing she is getting attached...and therefore purposefully he is being obtuse...deliberately so she can go away in peace and not be attached to him. This might be going on in his mind. "

--I really dbt.. i dont think Mukhi's brain functions tht smartly..

--Grt reading ur posts.. bt i found our views differing grtly.. sorry if i might've offended u.. was jst putting across my points.. and the intention was never to create a discord..

Enjoy posting on this forum.. and wud love to read more from u...

C ya..
Edited by violette - 8 years ago
violette thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: malkasub

<font size="2">Superb Analysis! Really changed my views on the situation.</font>

<font size="2">I had so far just looked at it as a natural reaction from Mukhi, the dafford that he is (and many guys are) in these situations, but like you said Saanvi... she has totally stepped over the line.</font>100% agree that Saanvi should have told Aru about whatever she knows. You have mentioned such a valid point about friends and partners. There is a very thin invisible line, but it sure marks the boundary. I have experienced something like you have said too.

Mukhi could be considered as insensitive in this situation but Saanvi seems to be getting oversmart.<font size="2">Deb is so right about the grey shades of Saanvi coming out. That too so subtly that maybe we may never catch on... Oh no! Was she the one who put out the clothes and jewels for Aru!</font>😡



Ayeee.. tune 180 degree turn mara.. now read my reply.. and u might change ur opinion again.. 😆 😆

this is exactly what Moh Moh CVs.. and Eijaz wants.. 😆 😆 😆

p.s. I still cant find Saanvi turning gray... let alone -ve.. 🤔

I have male BFFs, and sometimes thy really do understand me better thn my hubby, bt thn thy know where my loyalty/love lies and understand my hubby's insecurities. True BFFs never cross tht line.. irrespective of gender.. so those BFFs were really not true BFFs 😆

If u have confidence in ur love and trust on ur spouse/partner, kisi teesre ki baat ka koi farak nahi padta.. even if its ur so called "good" friend or ur BFF.. u can always talk it out with ur spouse/partner and decide on what to agree and wat not.. bt obviously yahan pe Aru-Mukhi's pati-patni relation is still in nascent stage.. to get tht level of understanding.. hence saanvi-raami ya kisi teesre ki baat ka bahot fark padta hai.. bt one shud have a better judgement of knowing ke ye teesre person ke intentions kya hai.. r thy malicious or r thy done with a good intent (bt not necessarily with correct result)



here I found Saanvi purposefully cautious abt not intruding in thr relation.. rthr thn being purposefully secretive abt her motives..

I felt her heart was in right place.. her intentions were good and not at all malicious..

what can she do if Aru is hell bent on taking it otherwise.. 😆 tho I feel she is not suspicious of Saanvi.. she is rather angry on Mukhi.. for keeping her out of his close confidante circle... 😆

dekhna kal Aru ka yahi roop dekhne ko milega.. 😆
Edited by violette - 8 years ago
malkasub thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Dear sweet Vio... such a darling... you are like 100% in full belief and confidence in the people who wrote this wonderful show and have not disappointed us so far (god bless them)... and my reply here was going the way ITV shows are generally made 😆. Yehi hai difference and my mind palatne ke kaaran.. either we are with team YMMKD or follow the vamp behind the friend logic we are so used to or fluctuate between the two. I am actually loving that I can think this way or that. Is that what the writers want us to ponder on?? And I was also the one who praised the writers for giving us this Saanvi Mukhi relationship.😆


See, what I answered in your post is what is shown to us which is what we saw and what sounds practical and possible. Come on yaar, my husband does not think it a big deal if he had not wished me for something... and he has done that quite often 😆. Not a big deal anymore for me too. Those days of feeling upset for such small things have long gone by. Poor thing Aru, she too has a long long way to go!😭


What I feel here is that no... lets think about it... why do we have a Saanvi in the story.. must be some reason and yesterday... when Aru specifically asked her whether she made something for Mukhi's birthday and she actually discussed that topic with Saanvi, then she should have been told about the halwa. Arrey, I was shocked to see the halwa in her hand too! We did not see it on the plate before!😲


I so love how everyone posts their views and people like me can also oscillate between views. No angry pro and anti Saanvi posts for us. We as a forum are a class apart👏



malkasub thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10
Must say that the beauty of Vio review, this Jalpari's review and of course Princy's colourful one too is how they all write from their heart and get their point across. Well done 👏

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