Hi All
Thank you all for the lovely responses and likes. Here is the next update. Umeed hai sabko pasand aayega. Waiting eagerly to hear from you all
Love
Sajida
Chapter 4 : Fanaa
Naina jumped excitedly as she came out of her managers cabin. Pandit looking at Naina raised his eyebrows asking the reason for her happiness. " Manager has approved my leave,ab mai bangalore jaa sakti houn apne Sameer se milne. Badawala surprise doungi usko,socha bhi na hoga. Uska chehara dekhna layak hoga na jab mai uske samne hongi ?. Finallllllllllllly I am going to see him" . Her happiness had no limit after all she would be seeing her Sameer after a long 9 months of separation.
" Mere saath chalna kuch gifts kharidne hai.Maina na bottle green wala shirt loungi jo dekha tha us din. Waise to mere Sameer pe sab color acche lagte hai par yeh color kabhi dekha nahi hai uske pass "she requested Pandit.
" Pehle confirm to kar le Sameer hai wahan par jab tu jayegi" suggested Pandit.
Thinking a bit she had an idea " I will ask him to be online for chat at around 9.30 am from the same internet cafe he writes to me daily. I will meet him there ,this will ensure my surprise is still intact and he is in city. " Aaj hi likhoungi".
Pandit had contacted his friends and arranged accommodation for her in ladies hostel.
In evening with all the excitement she opened her mail box to find an email already waiting for her. As she read it ,nothing made sense to her at first, so she read it many times. She could not believe what was written and checked the sender of the email. No it can't be from Sameer her heart denied it. He cannot write to me like this. She tried in vain to justify what her eyes were seeing was not true. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, she wanted to scream and tell that it was not true. Holding the kerchief in her mouth she cried and let her pain out but it just increased.
" Woh meri ek bhul thi" kept haunting her. " Was his love a mistake??" She sat idle for one hour or so, letting the reality sink in. She thanked the privacy of the internet cafe ,tears kept rolling how much ever she tried to stop them. After calming herself she wrote in a fit of anger " Bhul thi ? To mujhe bhi is bhul ke saath nahi rehna hai. Thank you for showing that love is just a mirage it doesn't exist at all. I will move on but a last advice don't break Sunaina's heart" deleted all the emails from him and she signed off.
"Chaku , Khanzar, Teer aur Talwar ladh rahe the ki
Kaun zyada gehra Ghav deta hai
Shabd peeche baite muskura rahein the "
( Knife, Arrow, Sword were fighting who among them can cause deep wounds , words were sitting behind and laughing at them )
" Beta aaj phool nahi chahiye?" the shop vendor asked from whom she use to buy daily gajra. The fragrance of mogra would give her a hope that all will be beautiful soon and their love will succeed. But today she felt the buds were mocking at her, her love was just like the life of these flowers. Fresh and beautiful for a very short span and to be discarded later. she said "Aaj se phooloun se koi rishta nahi chacha . Ab nahi chahiye " controlling her tears she ran to her hostel. That night she didn't take her dinner, everything in life seemed meaningless. The darkness of the room seemed like the life ahead without him. She didn't know what she should do now. Should she go and ask Sameer why was he doing this? . She had heard many times during college days " Sameer is so handsome , uski girlfriend bhi ekdum Madhuri type hogi woh khud Salman Khan jo hai" . Was external beauty the only thing that mattered in love ? She never loved him because of his looks. She kenw Sunaina was beautiful many times Sameer had mentioned about her and her charm on other boys. Hadn't he told her that she was his soulmate and their heart sang in unison of their love. Was all that a lie? she could not figure out. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as if they spoke of the pain that her heart couldn't express in words.
Sameer walked on the roads of the city , not even sure where he was heading . "For once I want to talk to you again just like the old times", his heart wished but he knew very well that he had to suffer this pain and walk on this road alone. With time all will be fine, she will be able to live without him. Immersed in his agony he sat on a bench in a park for a longtime, silently crying. He recalled agony, and the darkness of his thoughts amplified the pain of his heart.
Late in the night he stopped by the internet cafe to check if there was a reply.His heart still hoped "may be she has understood his silence and not just went by the words he had written". His hopes shattered when he saw the reply and his heart was filled with guilt . He wept silently looking at her response.
He had broken an innocent heart. She may curse him for now and cry but eventually she will move on. With this thought he convinced his aching heart. He wished if death could engulf him and separate him of this pain. There was no aim in life. Without Naina his life had no purpose. He walked like a lifeless soul to his room and tried to sleep but her teary eyes haunted him. He dropped to his knees and sobbed , unable to control his pain and fear.
Next Morning Naina got ready for office, she had made a decision that she will no longer worry about him and divert her attention to work. Though she had taken the decision to forget him , her heart remembered him every second. Every little thing bought his memory like the Aloo paratha in morning breakfast "yeh uska favorite hai ", her bangles " chudiya kitni pasand thi usko mere haathoun me " she decided never to wear them , the songs on radio " Mohabbat ki jhooti kahani pe roye badi chot khayi jawani pe roye" . She missed him a lot.
" Unki chahat mein hum kuch yun bande hai ki Woh saath bhi nahi aur hum akeli bhi nahi"
( I am bound in his love in such a way he is not with me and I am not even alone)
"Aaj tum aise kyun aayi ho ? Kya huva ? " Pandit enquired looking at Naina. Her eyes were red and puffy with pain. The glow on her face was missing. It clearly showed she hadn't slept and had cried a lot. Sitting next to him, with teary eyes she told Pandit about Sameer's email.
Pandit angrily asked her " Has he gone mad ? Did you reason with him ? She smiled at him and said " I love him and he is happy with Sunaina then I must be happy for him. With a trembling voice and tears in her eyes she said
"Mujhe chod ke woh khush hai , to shikayat kaisi
Ab Mai usey Khush bhi na dekhoun to Mohabbat Kaisi "
"Bahut Dard ho raha hai Pandit" saying this she cried trying to let out her pain, which never reduced. Pandit knew how much she loved Sameer and felt sad for her. He wished if he could let Sameer know that he was doing a big mistake by losing the most beautiful soul. Once her sobs had subsided ,to lighten her mood he said Naina yeh suno na
"Log kehte hai Mohabbat ke raaste mein har waqt dard milega
Mai soch raha hu is raaste mein hospital kholdu mast chalega "
She smiled but her smile didn't reach her eyes. Pandits heart wrenched in pain seeing his best friend so deep in pain. "Saale ka sarr pe kuch jake marunga , dimag thik ho jayega" he wished.
Naina asked for the new assignment which she had earlier denied as it was a onsite position. Now with Sameer no where in her life the only thing she could do was work and run as far as possible from him. The next two months she kept herself busy in understanding the new project requirements, training. Chachaji had convinced everyone at home, that it was a rare opportunity and it would add value to her experience if she gets to work at client place.
"Sahi Hai Naina tu to Switzerland jaa rahi hai . Log wahan honeymoon ke liye jate hai aur tu kaam ke liye . Ek kaam kar tu na switzerland ke train station par ruk jana , train khadi bhi hai to chadna mat. Jaise hi train start hogi tu bhag aur koi shakrukh na tujhe haath dega ekdum DDLJ maafik " " Pandit teased her.
"Har Shahrukh khan jaise dikhne wala Raj nahi hota aur har Salman Khan Prem nahi hota , bakwas band kar , kaam karne de " she said thinking about Sameer. It's was painful for her when in her head she knew that she has to let go of him but her heart still hoped that impossible might happen.
Sameer sank deep in his guilt. He didn't try for any openings. Sunaina kept asking him about the girl He never revealed her name nor his pain. The only one who could understand him was no where with him. When he missed Naina he would read her old conversations or listen to songs that reminded of her and miss her more. He would hardly eat . He had sacrificed all his favorite things like he never ate Aloo paratha or played cricket but instead opted what she liked daily he would buy few mogra buds and keep them near his pillow, as if she was with him. He hated rain as he would catch up cold easily but now drenched in rain and ate ice cream . "Pata hai Sameer baarish mein bheegna aur us mein ice cream khana , mujhe bahut accha lagta hai " . she had once told him and he had teased her "Pagal ho tum Naina, Baarish mein kaun ice cream khata hai ? chai peete hai woh bhi garam garam " . Apart from that nobody would notice his tears and he could cry out to his heart content while soaking in rain.
"Zameen Royi , hamare haal par aasaman roya
hamari bekasi dekh kar sara jahan roya "
(Bekasi- helplessness )
(The earth , Sky cried on my state. Seeing my helplessness the entire world cried)
She had not written to him post that incident " She doesn't need you anymore and she no longer misses you . " his mind kept reminding him the sin he had committed. Not even a single night he had a peaceful sleep , his mind was always consumed with the thought how much easier it would be if his Naina was by his side.
Hum Apni Rooh teri Jism mein Chod aaye Faraz
Tujhe Gale se lagana to ek bahana tha
( Literally means When I embraced you , I left my soul within your body )
Before her date of travel she visited Ahmedbad for a week. " Behen tu bahut lucky hai ,Switzerland jaaa rahi hai tu.Mujhe bhi kahi chupake lekar ja , mai bhi apna shahrukh dhund loungi un haseen wadiyoun mein' Preeti said with a dreamy look in her eyes.
" Padai ki hoti to ,tu bhi jaati aise. Switzerland hi nahi bahut saare aur desh bhi ghoom aati", Naina replied.
"Lucky !!! Jisse pyar kiya wahi mera na huva" she thought to herself. Preeti seeing her lost somewhere asked " Tu thik hai na?? " . Plastering a smile on her face " Arey kuch nahi tum sabko chodke jaa rahi houn na isliye thoda dhuk ho raha hai. I will miss you " saying this she hugged her.
Later that evening both sisters decided to enjoy the evening at Lawn garden. Eat pani puri and other chaats to the fullest ,after all it was Naina's treat.
" Arey Naina tu kab aayi Ahmedabad ? Bade din ke baad dekha tujhe" Munna enquired near the chaat stall.
"Abhi kuch din huve , tum kaise ho ? aur kya chal raha hai ? Swati , Kamya aur Sameer kaise hai" Naina questioned , she didn't know but she just wanted to know about Sameer.
"Mai to Bombay mein houn. Swati Kamya to Shaadi karke chale gayein pichle mahine hi , tujhe bahut emails likhe the par tune reply hi nahi diya , bahut shikayat kar rahe the teri ". She hadn't visited internet cafe at all after that incident. "Aur Sameer ?" ignoring the rest she asked again.
"Wahi to mai tujhe puchne wala tha, tu to uski best friend thi na ?. kya huva hai usko ? Mila tha kal uske ghar pe yahi Ahmedbad mein. Job mili nahi aur Ramdhari bata raha tha ki na khata hai aur na kahi bahar jata hai bas ghar pe akele akele saara din pade rehta hai aur dhuki gaane sunta hai . Tujhe bataya usne kya huva , kaun ladki thi woh ? Maine bahut pucha par usne kuch kaha nahi . "
After listening to this , she instantly said to Preeti " ek minute mai abhi aati houn " and ran to the PCO near by. She had controlled her tears in front of them but now they were flowing freely. "Sunaina uska dil thoda hoga , isliye sanyasi banke baita hai. Mera 4 saal ka pyar khone mein dhuka nahi huva tha , yeh char din ke pyar mein Sanyasi ban gaya hai " thought while dialing his house number.
"Sameer se baat ho sakti hai " she asked when Ramdhari picked it. "Accha ek minute rukiye ab baba ko boltein hai ".
"Sameer Baba aapke liye koi ladki ka phone aaya hai " other than Naina , nobody knew his house number.
He quickly ran to the phone "Hello " , the other side was silent for few minutes he could hear only her breathing , he knew it was Naina . Calming her heart she said " Sharm nahi aati tumko , is tarah haar ke baite ho . Nanaji ki aatma ko kitna dhuk huva hoga , ki unka naati Sameer Jayprakash Maheswari is tarah zindagi se haar ke baita hai . Mr Somani ki haar baat sach kardi tumne . Woh to chahate the ki tum zindagi mein kuch na bano aur tumne to aasani se unki icha puri kar di. Ab bhi tumko lagta hai atleast apne Nanaji ki umeedoun ko pura karna chahate ho to jao aur apna future banao " . She said this and cut the call.
"Na usne mujhse shikayat ki, na pucha maine uska dil kyun thoda bas sahi raasta dikha ke chali gayi , meri Naina " he kept thinking after the call.
Naina knew some steps need to be taken alone. It's the only way to really figure out where you need to go and who you need to be . She didn't bring her love in between or promises of their love. She knew he had to be pushed .Whether he loved her or not , she loved him truly and never could see him fail in life. Hearing the only word "Hello " from him, her heart had triumphed with joy , that was the depth of her love.
She left Ahmedabad that day along with Chachaji and Preeti. With the instructions of safety they dropped her at airport and bid her bye.
With a heavy heart finally she was moving away from him, but little did she know that distance never matters when in love. When she reached Zurich , looking at the serene beauty of nature she said
" Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge , yeh movie ne pyar ki ek nayi daastan likhi thi. India mein baitke logoun ne Switzerland ko dekha tha , Aaj us desh mein khadi hoke in hasin wadiyoun ko dekh rahi houn. Par jiska dil hi banjar ho usse yeh khobsurat nazare bhi bejaan lagte hai.
Bahut ajeeb hai yeh bandishein Mohabbat ki 'Faraz'
Na Usne Qaid mein rakha na hum farar huve "
(Strange are the ties of Love , neither he has caged me nor I am free) .
" Love is like a War easy to start, difficult to finish and impossible to forget " she said to herself
Precap : "Mere baare mein hi soch rahi thi na", he asked tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear while the song " Tu is tarah se meri zindagi mein shamil hai , jahan bhi jaoun lagta hai teri mehfil hai " played in the background.
Marathi TV
