Hi Nivi... thanks for the post. Thanks for having the motivation to write one. 👏 Sorry, this has become more of my reading of Sameer... Today's episode to me was more like a chain of events... it was action packed,episode was tense, but everyone's acting was good, especially Randeep. 👏 More than the episode this is a commentary on Sameer.
these days, sometimes I'm unable to write a post, not because I didn't like an episode or parts of an episode, but because the emotional abuse I see a 17/18 year old going through is quite disturbing... anyways I started writing a response in Minu's thread and realized I typed what I wanted to write over here in that thread... so forgive me, but I'm going to paste it here as well.
Sameer Maheswari is complex... I think we need to accept this as a basic fact... and it naturally goes without saying that anyone who gets involved with him will not have it easy...she will have to face a lot to understand him, and help him overcome his weakness... but she will have to face this because otherwise she cannot have a happy life with him... so she needs to be strong... she has to support him until he gain enough confidence to become emotionally self sufficient...
His background and upbringing have resulted in creating his persona... it was well described when he narrated that poetry in Mt. Abu...
Log bus dekhte hain meri yeh hasi
Jiske paas ro sakoon aisa koi aas paas nahin
Waqt beet jata hai yuh hi aate jaate
Ghar par intezar karne wala mera koi khas nahin
Main akela hoon, yeh chaand bhi akela hai
Hun dono jaise iss sansaar mein udaas koin nahin...
That in essence is who he is... someone who is adept at most times to hide his inner self very well... long, lonely years in hostels has made his use this as a self protection tool... now when he is badly hurt, for a short while that cover gets blown and almost every time he is left bleeding... that whole exercise we witnessed as he tried to get the letter is a physical manifestation of that... he was hurt, he still got to the letter but was unable to read it on time... result was he was bleeding and exposed to more hurt...
That outside persona makes him appear confident, over confident even, but deep down he is a lost soul always searching for that one loving gesture, one kind word, one validation... so many a times he lacks faith in himself and loses sight of his true worth... He tends to latch on and find emotional anchor in anyone who looks beyond that persona and loves him... aka his hostel friends. But I guess he has moved so much that he has never sustained even those friends, always losing touch, always losing them... So in his current emotionally distraught condition heightened due to Vishaka's illness, he is unable to overcome his fear of losing another loved one... of being alone all over again...
Inspite of his good looks and money, he has always been put down wherever he went, and until now it included his own parents... with great difficulty he managed to gain some confidence in his abilities when he regained Naina's love, and some credibility in PVKM when he helped win the match... also when he procured a job with his talents in Delhi... all this is a start but years of conditioning otherwise, being told he's unworthy, will not be shaken off so quickly... that issue of self worth is so much that he prefers to help other win, but rarely competes in anything... even during the headboy competition, Somani was right in saying he lacked that fighting spirit... he always second guessed himself and his capabilities... he even asked his mother if she won't consider him as her son if he didnlt win...
I think he is simply incapable of dealing with emotional stress yet, especially when he has no one to talk to... and since he has spent most of his life being alone, by nature he is not quick to open up to anyone, not even Naina. Till date he has hidden all his problems in Delhi from her and has bottled it up. But he has absorbed her problems as well, and has given her a lot of strength and advice...
In all these months with his mother, I don't think he has shared much about himself. Even the other day he was leaving for the interview, and if Vishaka was not sitting outside he would have just gone without informing.
So being a loner, and not having faced many tough situations, except for his post bet phase where he was guided by Nanu and aided by Mundit, his mind shuts down and he loses all rational thought... remember he even spent a whole night in front of Naina's house without really having a plan? That's him... impulsive and not mature enough to think things through. That's what I'm hoping he will learn now... to face emotionally tough situations and still be able to make the right choice without losing his willpower or strength or rational thinking.
When he first came to school today, he was eager to meet Naina... but she fell. And then he heard Kumud, who specifically mentioned how she was repeating history... one Maheswari was a reason for her disqualification a year back... so naturally he feels another Maheswari, especially one who was unworthy should not become another reason for her disqualification... disqualification, loss, death... all similar and all intermingled in his mind. In spite of trying many times, he was unable to go before her... because of daadi's words and Kumud's rant he assumed he was Naina's biggest enemy... so he must protect her from himself? So she can become successful... he can see he is hurting her, but in his mind she will atleast be alive? I know... its as convoluted and as illogical as it can get!
I'm hoping Vishaka will be alright, and start noticing his withdrawal... almost depression if you will... he needs to break down to her first... confess how he's scared of losing people, how he thinks everyone will leave him... I feel she needs to understand what psychological damage her years of neglect and callous abandonment has done to her son... the other day when he cried when she praised him for the first time, she took it lightly... she should have read that as a sign of deep hurt for him... I hope now she will see... She badly needs to spend quality time with him... and start undoing the damage she has caused...
We saw a glimpse of his turmoil in Mt. Abu, just after Vishaka failed to recognize him... but that time things took a different turn, and his insecurity got lost... at that time Vishaka herself told him he was incapable of loving aanyone... has al allergy to love... Hope now she reverses her statement, since she has seen his capacity to love... hope she accepts she was wrong, and starts correcting herself, so he will start healing...
Saathiya, eh tune kya kiya... Itna karo naa intezaar... She says Maine kiya hai tumse pyaar... that's what this is about... he thinks he is not worth waiting for, or spending her life with... but she needs to assure him that he is all that she wants, she will not leave him and together they will achieve all their dreams... For that she needs to uncover what is going on... hope she gets some background from Mundit now... and also from Amrita... Naina has to get creative now, because Sameer will not talk to her...For sometime, she will have to keep at it, one sided, keep assuring of her love and that she will always be with him...when he completely believes it, he will become a new person... confident, strong and an achiever... he will become SJM.
Edited by aardhan - 7 years ago
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