What is the reason behind Vishakha's behaviour towards Sameer?

Originally posted by: TereLiyeMINU

Humans interact with their children in a variety of ways. Authoritarian parents tend to lay down the law and mete out harsh punishments, while permissive parents set few or no limits. The authoritative parenting style, in which parents are warm, loving and still set definite limits, seems to be the most effective. However, a fourth style, the uninvolved parent, can create a number of problems for children that may follow them into adulthood.

Visakha is a clear case of uninvolved parent.

Like permissive parents, they set few or no limits, but they do not have the emotional warmth most permissive parents display. Uninvolved parents may even make statements to a child such as "I don't care what you do. These parents may be depressed or overwhelmed with the struggle of daily living, but the result is a child with little or no supervision, support or affection. In some cases, the uninvolved parent may be outright neglectful.It seems Vivek Sumani is not supportive of Visakha's ideas or any good she wants to do for Sameer.She is herself dictated by someone else.So somehow Sameer becomes outlet for her frustrations and much time neglect.

I think Visakha is divorced.Hence Sameer and she are yet to come to terms with the different surnames they have taken over.

Children need stability and predictability. One of the most difficult experiences for a child is when parents separate and divorce, During this time, the parents may be preoccupied and offer little support to the child. Many children feel guilt, anger, anxiety and sadness during a divorce. If one parent has full custody and the parental relationship is rocky, the child may feel abandoned unless the non-custodial parent makes an extra effort to visit, call or otherwise stay connected. When a noncustodial parent visits sporadically, unpredictably or not at all, children may feel rejected.

Its from a personal experience,I have noted that such parents just become financial sponsers in long run.When the financial dependency withdraws and child becomes self sufficient then chances are more that the child goes astray and brings upon complete doom.Its sometimes partners and friends like Naina who keep them on right track and save them from destruction.

Originally posted by: TereLiyeMINU

Humans interact with their children in a variety of ways. Authoritarian parents tend to lay down the law and mete out harsh punishments, while permissive parents set few or no limits. The authoritative parenting style, in which parents are warm, loving and still set definite limits, seems to be the most effective. However, a fourth style, the uninvolved parent, can create a number of problems for children that may follow them into adulthood.

Visakha is a clear case of uninvolved parent.

Like permissive parents, they set few or no limits, but they do not have the emotional warmth most permissive parents display. Uninvolved parents may even make statements to a child such as "I don't care what you do. These parents may be depressed or overwhelmed with the struggle of daily living, but the result is a child with little or no supervision, support or affection. In some cases, the uninvolved parent may be outright neglectful.It seems Vivek Sumani is not supportive of Visakha's ideas or any good she wants to do for Sameer.She is herself dictated by someone else.So somehow Sameer becomes outlet for her frustrations and much time neglect.

I think Visakha is divorced.Hence Sameer and she are yet to come to terms with the different surnames they have taken over.

Children need stability and predictability. One of the most difficult experiences for a child is when parents separate and divorce, During this time, the parents may be preoccupied and offer little support to the child. Many children feel guilt, anger, anxiety and sadness during a divorce. If one parent has full custody and the parental relationship is rocky, the child may feel abandoned unless the non-custodial parent makes an extra effort to visit, call or otherwise stay connected. When a noncustodial parent visits sporadically, unpredictably or not at all, children may feel rejected.

Its from a personal experience,I have noted that such parents just become financial sponsers in long run.When the financial dependency withdraws and child becomes self sufficient then chances are more that the child goes astray and brings upon complete doom.Its sometimes partners and friends like Naina who keep them on right track and save them from destruction.

Originally posted by: braveheartdoc

Nicely written Minu 👏

But I feel that she is not completely uninvolved also... she seems to be dictated by her second husband most of the times... she does show her affection when she praised him for getting 50 percent marks and when she was desperate to see him hit a six on the last ball... but she was forcibly taken away by her husband 😡

Her emotions are overpowered by her husband's will😡

Originally posted by: SixteenAgain

I think there are 2 reasons for this -

1 - After her second marriage Vishakha must have decided that she would not prove to be the proverbial step-mother' to Rohan and would not favour Sameer above him at least not apparently. So, she has gone about for years ensuring that she showers Rohan with more attention.

She probably feels that Sameer being her son will always understand her love for him, but relationships are tricky and this has not worked in favour for their relationship. Sameer being a child and especially a newcomer in his stepfather's household never developed a sense of belonging and acceptance. He must have seen his mom's love for Rohan as a rejection of himself. Children invariably act out and get defiant when they are seeking attention and love. This has largely molded Sameer early childhood.

Whereas it seems meanwhile Rohan has flourished with the attention from both the parents. Which had lead to Sameer being compared to him unfavourably time and again, further affecting Sameer.

2 - Vishakha with all her shortcomings as a mother is still a mother, who wants her son to become a responsible adult and a successful person. She still wants him to make her proud. And seeing the teenager he has become with lack of respect for authority and very little regard for the value for education and hard work, she is now trying to fix this via discipline. What she is completely missing here is that he needs her love and understanding above anything else. He needs to know that she has not forsaken him for the sake of her new life and family. And that he is not just an afterthought in her life now.

She is also probably trying to prove to her husband that she does not support Sameer in this sort of behaviour. Her husband's approval obviously matters a lot to her.

Originally posted by: SixteenAgain

I think there are 2 reasons for this -

1 - After her second marriage Vishakha must have decided that she would not prove to be the proverbial step-mother' to Rohan and would not favour Sameer above him at least not apparently. So, she has gone about for years ensuring that she showers Rohan with more attention.

She probably feels that Sameer being her son will always understand her love for him, but relationships are tricky and this has not worked in favour for their relationship. Sameer being a child and especially a newcomer in his stepfather's household never developed a sense of belonging and acceptance. He must have seen his mom's love for Rohan as a rejection of himself. Children invariably act out and get defiant when they are seeking attention and love. This has largely molded Sameer early childhood.

Whereas it seems meanwhile Rohan has flourished with the attention from both the parents. Which had lead to Sameer being compared to him unfavourably time and again, further affecting Sameer.

2 - Vishakha with all her shortcomings as a mother is still a mother, who wants her son to become a responsible adult and a successful person. She still wants him to make her proud. And seeing the teenager he has become with lack of respect for authority and very little regard for the value for education and hard work, she is now trying to fix this via discipline. What she is completely missing here is that he needs her love and understanding above anything else. He needs to know that she has not forsaken him for the sake of her new life and family. And that he is not just an afterthought in her life now.

She is also probably trying to prove to her husband that she does not support Sameer in this sort of behaviour. Her husband's approval obviously matters a lot to her.

Originally posted by: mehraan

Great post Manisha btw...👏