Part 2:
( ishita insecurities )
My sister moreover friend teach me everything about sex but you want to know what happened to me when she tell me everything I am fainted immediately moreover two days I have continuous fever because of fear still I am not comfortable with that whenever I think about that something is happened to me I feel ashamed moreover got irritated ( I don't know because of childhood bad memories or I am not matured enough to handle this or fear about men's are always forced to do that think to us never consider about comfort level of us but I want to be romantic forever and never want to be burden to my husband also )
You can asked me why you have such a think about men's all are not like that yes I agree all are not like that but one incident kept me think like that when my close friend share her pain I am a shattered completely
My close friend who is married ( one year) and her marriage is arranged one she love her husband so much her husband is nice in everything but not in this matter
She is house wife and her husband is IT employee every night is pain for her he doesn't think about her pain her comfort level nothing every night he want her in bed if she deny that I am tired or something Immediately he scold her he went outside full night without sleeping watching tv by stress himself if she said ok we will do only he come inside and sleep ( to satisfy him moreover never want to stress himself she just buried all her pain inside act that she is happy )
Due to continuous torture she got infection when she go to hospital doctor advice her talk to your husband about that make him to keep distance with you then will get cure soon ( she is sure if she said to him what will happen )
After so much hesitation she talked with her mother about it but aunty said that all husband are like that only you have to adjust and not a big think to discuss and be a good wife to him never create any problems unnecessarily and this is his house you have to be what he want and you have to be with him only whatever it is simply she said ( one more think before doing something badly you have to think about your father he is happy that you are married moreover you have sister also going to be married soon so keep in mind just blackmail her emotionally )
Most of the parents think that their daughters are just responsibility to them until married after marriage just they are relax that somewhat they give responsibility to someone ( he is there to take her responsibility ) so their duty is over never support their daughter when she is in pain moreover when she need them badly
I asked her to tried once to your husband last time talk about that she simply denied me
She cried and said to me that if my mother is not ready to help me moreover not tried to see how much pain I am going through means
How would he understand my pain?
I can't risk my sister life ishu anymore
Do you know one think ishu ?
I love him so much before marriage but know hate me to love him unable to hate him completely also
Before marriage when I talk to him he doesn't hate me even by his words but now he is changed
Whenever night comes just pray to god please end it is soon I am unable to bear this pain anymore
I just wish everyday is day only never night came
I just wish even Sunday also he has office so that I can relax at least up to night comes
One side mother in law torture me when did I said good news to her what will I do?
He is clever and doesn't want responsibility to be father now just want me to satisfy his lust only
He never gives me that happiness also at least I can live for my children
Every day he said to me that I love you
What is this meaning ishu ?
Love is just bed sharing never about care concern soul nothing
He is amazing son to his parents
He doesn't have any bad habits
He is amazing son in law to my parents
Do you know one think?
My sister told me that she want husband like her jiju only
I asked her why?
She said he doesn't give you any pain always want you to be happy moreover he loves you (he is perfect gentlemen moreover perfect husband)
I think perfect husband yes he would be (by hiding my pain I smiled and said) I prayed in heart at least give my sister a good men as her husband moreover not like my husband never please
He just closed all the ways to move out from him (everyone is support him even my family)
I never want to be selfish at least I have to wait until my sister marriage
Be careful moreover clever ishu never want you to get hell ( life) like me I just want to be happy
It is your life don't accept whatever parents said before you said ok think many times
If you have feeling that he is not good simply ignore the proposal
One who going to live with him is you for lifelong not your parents or anyone
Please I never want you to go through the pain I am getting cried and hug me (we both are crying I am just console her I am ashamed that to say me as her friend my hands are tied without her support I can't do nothing even I tried to talk about her to my family asked them to talk to her parents but they deny that if their parents are against her how would we? Just don't interfere in any other matter and scold me moreover slapped me )
At end she said wipes her tears said wish we are born us boys at least in next birth so we can enjoy
I am helpless but wish in future I would help her if possible
Why can't girl individually take their decision about their future?
Why girls are so emotional when it comes to family?
Why girls are dependent on others always even they are educated moreover working?
Girls are just born to deliver babies nothing else?
Without marriage boys can live single why can't girls?
If women are divorcee or widow why society treat them badly moreover make them away?
That time I promised myself that I have to be friendly with my daughter moreover I
Will teach her what is bad touch and good touch never wants her to suffer in any pain like me or my friend
And be friendly with her always there to support her and never allowed any pain to come
Nearer her
Moreover never be gender partiality between my children
Cont...
Sorry if I hurt anyone
I never tried to say girls are good and sacrifice oriented not boys moreover I never say girls are only good not boys
I just give view about village girl suffering
Don't bash me dears
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