Posted:
"If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account" - Christie Williams
My expectations of Toshi ji have been laid to rest.😔
My perception of Bhalla ji has been ground to dust.😔
My bewilderment at Ishita's overtly trusting, positive mindset is reaching eye-popping levels
How conveniently Bhalla ji declared that Raman had left the house, without bothering to explain the context behind it! Well...he himself has been acting like an unreasonable 'authority' and a partial witness to the sordid family drama in the household for almost a week now, without intervening and doing anything positive to curb the damage. Toh unhe khud hi context samajh mein nahin aaya hai...but then the exact feelings he harboured in his heart, for Raman...were shameful, indeed...
"Bahut bada aadmi ban gaya hai...apne bhai behnon ko bojh samajhne laga hai..." I do not understand. Once. Just ONE time in his life Raman made a move to secure his wife and children's future, think about himself without the baggage of familial responsibilities, and he has been branded an irresponsible, arrogant, callous son in minutes...by his own father, who hasnt said it but deems Raman a failure. Such unfairness, such hypocrisy😡...Somewhere deep down in his mind Raman is expected to foot the bills of his siblings' regular needs as well as extravagant excesses (that Rinky and Romi had been doing up until this point)...without due consideration that its all a product of Raman's hard work, determination, the sleepless nights he has spent working to accomplish that big in life...and that he also has a family and its high time he be allowed to think just for himself, without being made to feel guilty.😕
For that, for the sheer neglect towards his DIL and for never standing up for her the way he did for Rinky and Romi and Sarika, AND for grossly misunderstanding the Raman to the point of alienating him, HE is an epic failure to me, as a parent.😡
I watched Saturday's episode, but since real life and reel life have unfortunately coincided in a bad way, reviewing the episode would've been too much for me last Saturday. Nevertheless, the way Bhalla ji blasted Raman for supposedly talking down to Sarika (and funnily enough, never does, when it comes to Ishita) and the way he "presented" the facts to Toshi ji in his own skewed, prejudiced, one-dimensional way - it seemed he had as much spite in his heart for his eldest child as did Rinky. He stood justified, and let down for no reason at all. It seemed to me, for a moment, that Raman Bhalla was merely a tool to be employed by the parasitic behaviors of his family, and nothing more.
The way Toshi slapped Raman in front of everyone - Ishita and all the Iyers...that PER SE, was wrong. I get motherly love and right and indignance and all of that, but thrashing your jawaan beta in front of his in-laws in THEIR house, is too much😡 When the senior Bhallas themselves have absolutely no control over their temper and zilch sense of time and place, its difficult to solely crucify Raman for this aberration in his normally suave CEO personality.
The fact that she did not even ASK Raman why he left the house taking his wife and children with him, pissed me off more. The fact that she expected her eldest son to bear the brunt of his father's prejudice/anger, whatever the reason may be, just because he is ageing and is THE father, did not sit down well with me. I had an impression that age made people wiser. It didnt drive them to commit such glaring follies in respect of one person while being absolutely hunky-dory with others. The fact that she made that overtly melodramatic speech at the expense of her son's plight and silence, and believed Raman may have committed a mistake really made me pity Raman's situation.
The fact that she even blamed Ishita for being unable to stop her husband from making this move, despite being proved time and again of her dedication towards the family made me feel she didnt see Ishita as a human being. Ishita Iyer Bhalla was merely a caricature modeled to fit Bhalla family's myriad, unreasonable needs...and that she was never allowed to fall. But why should Ishu have stopped her husband from leaving a home where he and his wife were no longer respected or understood? So in no way had she fallen by following Raman out of the house...The fact that Toshi was allowed to travel the ends of the earth for HER husband, but Ishita doing so was a deviance in her eyes, is sheer hypocrisy. The fact that she didnt bother to expect these same things from any of her other children borders on negligence on her part as a parent, and that she had assumed Raman would make fine, responsible, conscientious human beings of these spoilt, immature brats without ever investing time in them, is idiotic😡
The fact that Simmi, who has remained untouched till now and has been a silent witness of ALL that has happened over the past week, remained quiet - despite knowing the truth, made her fall in my eyes. She was the ONLY sensible link connected to Both sides of the warring Bhallas...she could've prevented immenent damage...but she didnt...
The fact that in a flash Toshi assumed the worst of Raman after ALL he has done for the family over and over and over and over again, made HER too fall in my eyes in a way I cannot easily get past😕
Of course, Toshi slumping off unconscious was inserted for some MORE melodrama..
Ishita fetched the doctor, who concluded Toshi had fainted due to high BP and was now okay...she even stood outside the door, contemplating whether or not to enter Bhalla house, having crossed over to the "other side" and then decided she didnt care which side she was on...as long as she made a concrete move to resolve this ghastly situation...at that moment, she shone like a beacon of light in YHM that's slowly getting darker and uglier...
I was even more impressed by the firmness with which she declared she wanted a word ALONE with her mother-in-law..neither of the siblings (Simmi and Romi) were spared, they had to leave the room...but nor was Bhalla ji..he too had to leave the room...I had immense respect for the show of courage Ishita put up there.
The fact that she initiated a conversation with Toshi despite the latter turning her face away and trying to act dismissive of her, was praiseworthy. Ooh well! Ishita was still the DIL of the house and had every right to question her MIL, talk to her...
But I will admit, I was extremely disappointed with what she said next...she asked Toshi to support her in this mission of "uniting the warring parties" and all...but she did not once recreate the narrative of whatever happened in the last few days...though her allegiance lies with the family also, her PRIMARY priority lies with her husband, who needs SOMEONE who could put HIS perspective forward as well...
"Haan Raman ne ki hai galati" she admitted.
I am sorry, but nowhere was Raman wrong. I am not in agreement with people who think losing all your self-respect in front of a bunch of selfish buffoons posing as family is acceptable, and leaving the house to avoid a combustible situation ahead is a "galati" by a far, far stretch. Its not. THERE, Ishita made a mistake by NOT explaining the context in which Raman had to take this step. When she talked of being a sherni for this noble cause, she made a mistake of NOT standing up fiercely for her husband's right and honor and telling the MIL the plain, unvarnished truth. When one party tries too hard to keep peace and maintain relationships, he inevitably becomes the one who remains forever on the giving end, without ever receiving that which he gives in equal or even half measure😕
WHAT makes Ishita think this move of going away from the family for a few days is wrong? That means she doubts her husband's foresight, does she? So is it feasible to continue staying in such a hostile environment where for no reason, one is blamed and belittled continuously?
You know, at times like these, where people like Ishita need to don the authoritative, no-nonsense avtar to right things...they continue in their submissive, overly compliant selves making themselves vulnerable to more such humiliation and exploitation by people who think they are entitled to all such virtuosity...and if Ishita continues to belittle this essential move taken by Raman, she might just weaken the pulse of his fight...and he, definitely, is MORE on the right side than any of the Bhallas are...
I really felt more than Toshi ji needing things to come back to status quo at the drop of a hat, it was Raman who needed Ishita on his side...I so desperately kept wishing Ishita would present the reality of the situation to Toshi...not sugarcoat things...coz I totally believe, IshRa NEED to stay away from the Bhallas for a while...to reclaim their importance in the latter's lives...No matter how good Ishita's intentions are right now, what's needed is some firmness and some perspective...to see things and people as they REALLY are, not as she would LIKE to see them
It was HEARTBREAKING to see Adi blaming himself for the rift...the departure from Bhalla house...but equally cozy to see his sister taking care of him like an angel...putting balm on his wounded soul...
again, it was heart-rending to see Ruhi cry...she is traumatized by the force of Raman's move...as well as the intensity of the anger her father displayed this time around...
The family is in shambles...but it would be wrong to say its because its coz of Raman leaving the house. No, its coz of the selfish, retarded, inconsiderate egoistic Bhallas that Raman had to leave the house in the first place..
I expect the CVs to do complete justice to this track rather than end it with something ludicrous as Raman's murder (I hope for heaven's sakes its a hoax) or something on the lines of slapstick comedy which has been incorporated gazillions of times to ease the tension building up in such high-voltage drama...please CVs..do not degrade and disrespect your own FABULOUS creation. Please end this track in a realistic, RIGHT manner...I understand EK's soaps cant do without a generous serve of family values et al, but its high time they give as much importance to individuals as they do to family units. They need to stop glorifying family and all that it entails...its getting annoying actually😕
P.S. I cannot get past the look on Raman's face...when he got slapped...
I mean, WHO gives parents the right to behave like such hooligans in the first place😡 Just because I have produced a human being, does it give me the ownership over that human being? Disgusting...Hats off to Raman for putting up with all this shit...but I hope, against hope, that this time Raman persist in his fight and not give in so easily...take lots of time..maintain distance..and make it CLEAR to his selfish, ungrateful family, that he's got a LIFE too😡
PRECAP - Rinky informed Toshi of the new 5BHK flat Mihir has booked in Mayur Vihar...
I have NO idea why a 2 person family needs a 5BHK flat in the first place...but instead of admonishing Rinky about being such a spendthrift and an inconsiderate witch for pressurising her husband into doing such things, she was busy narrating this incident to Ishita, wondering how Mihir would manage all of this...
Pray, WHY would you do that if you yourself understand that your daughter is behind the rift in your family right now? And why would you expect your eldest to STILL bear the brunt of your younger children's extravagance?? This has got to STOP.😡 And after getting to know all this, will Ishita STILL trust Toshi to be a fair partner in this "mission" they've set out on together? I dont. I am damn well sure Toshi will buckle down to the popular trend running in their family right now...
I guess even Toshi, deep down, wants Raman to sacrifice HIS own life and interests and keep making his siblings' lives secure till eternity. Am disgusted. and deeply pained...I hope Raman refuses...
And right now, more than being nice and compliant and forgiving, Ishita needs to buck up, stand by her husband and DRAW BOUNDARIES. Coz I fear Toshi may end up burdening Ishita too much with her expectations of her an an ideal DIL of the house...
As of now, I stand by Raman for taking a much-needed stand and maintaining distance from his family till their brains come back into place and I hope Ishita wont pressurize him into going back to Bhalla House before everybody's learnt their lessons well
P.S. On a sad note, former President APJ Abdul Kalam passed away some time ago😭..he was 84...what a luminary he was! may be rest in peace...
CID
Anupamaa
