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Chapter-3
TANHA TANHARaman watched her walking away. She didn't glanced back once. She was scared. Scared of him. Scared of him killing and insulting her and her love again. Scared of him deisgracing himself in front of her.
"Tere hi khayalon mein
Doobe doobe jaate hain
Khud ko tere paas hi chhod aate hain"[I remain immersed in your thoughts
I leave myself with you]
He was nowhere there but in her, with her. The moment she ran back home, maybe forever, made him realise. Realise that his happiness lies in her love. Her closeness was what completed him. Realization that his lifeline is she, made him do the opposite of his words. He couldn't hold the pain of parting from her. Then what will be her state when she came to know that she has been in love with a bast**** like him...!
Only thing which ruled his entire being was her, her thoughts. Her always smiling face! How cruelly he tore apart the happy curl from her lips! How cruel...!!!
He could do nothing but think of talking to her. Telling her that he was really joking, though he was not Will she believe him? Don't know. But she will never come back to him if he chose not to act now. He has been acting like a stone hearted jerk for the past five years. But her love never toned-down a bit. But this was the limit for everything. He should not had hurt her.
He rushed out from his room all shattered. He wanted to see her, console her, tell her that he didn't mean those words, and how much he loves her. How he was attracted to her from the very first moment. How he wanted to marry her. Even now, the only woman with whom he could imagine those things are her;
it was always her and her only ! He wanted to scream it out. He wanted to take her again in his arms, kiss away the pain.
"Kam hai zameen bhi thodi Kam aasmaan hai
Lagta adhoora tum bin har jahaan hai"[Earth is not sufficient,nor is the sky
Every world feels lonely without you]
He was acting mad. He forgot that it is late night. It is bad to go meet a woman at that wee small hour. No logic is there. He only want to see her, clear everything between them. He want feel her love again. He can't die like this.
His steps halted when someone stopped him by touching his shoulder. Feeling his papa's assuring hands on him he was lost. He just hugged him tight saying how much he did hurt her by his words. Om just patted his back and made him sit on the sofa. Sitting beside him he tried to calm him by his words.
He tried to inject some sense into him by saying, "Dekho Raman. Pehale sab tere galti nahin dhe. Lekin ab hai. Tujhe usse itne badtameezi se baat nahin karna chahiye dhe. Voh sunke kitni buri feel kar rahi hongi gudi !"
(See Raman. At first it wasn't your fault but now it is. You shouldn't have talked to her like that. She might be feeling so bad)
He stated wiping his tears, "I thought it is easy. Mujhe sirf usse door rehna dha papaji. Kuch der keliye mujhe laga ki agar voh mujhse nafrat karogi toh sab tikh hoga...But no...I can't even breath without her..." He cried out hugging him tight.
(I just wanted to stay away from her. For sometimes I thought everything will be alright if she hates me)
Om asked him lovingly caressing his cheek, "Kya hua ab?"
(What happened now?)
He looked at his papa's eyes with his moistened ones and declared in his quivering voice, "Main usse alag nahin reh sakta...Uska nafrat mujhe bardash nahin hoga papa..."
(I can't stay away from her. I can't tolerate the separation)
"Toh sab kuch batado use.." Om said patting his shoulder encouragingly.
(Then tell her everything)
It did nothing to give him power. He was in dilemma, "Agar voh mujhse aur door gaya toh...?"
(If she goes away?)
Heaving a sigh Om begun, "Raman...agar use apne paas rakhna chahte hai toh apne bare mein sab kuch batana padega. Agar voh yeh jaankar bhi tere saath dete hai tobbas...zindagi mein aur kuch nahin chahiye"
(If you want to keep her with you, you should tell her everything about you. If she stays with you even after knowing it, that's it...life doesn't need anything else)
He asked the obvious question in a trance, "Lekin papa...koyi ladki unse shaadi karenge kya joh kabhi baap nahin ban sakta?"
(But papa...will any girl agree to marry someone who can never be a father?)
Om: "Agar sacha pyar hai toh kuch bhi ho sakta hai. Aur aaj ke zamane mein bachcha paida karne keliye kayin tareekehai. So...Main tum donon ko ek hote hue dekhna chahta hun."
(It's possible if it is real love. And there are a lot of ways for gestation. I want you both to be together)
"Mujhe sochna hai papa...Sirf hum donon ke nahin balki puri family ki baat hai..." He said as a final note.
(I need to think. It's not just both of us but the entire family)
"Tum bhi tanha the
Hum bhi tanha the
Mil ke rone lage"[You were lonely
So was I
We met and started crying]
Raman slammed the door behind him and dropped himself on the floor. He was finding it difficult to even think of her hating him. His own words began to prick his heart. How rudely he explained her that he wants to have s*x with her ! How much she will be going through knowing that. How can he defame himself and her love so mercilessly !
"Maaf kardo mujhe...Main sab tikh kardunga...Sab tikh kardunga..."
(Forgive me. I'll fix everything)
Meanwhile, in Ishita's room where there is no difference. She was crying loudly but her voice choking in her thoat. She couldn't believe that he said it. Her Raman said it so shamelessly. His devilish smile and hurtful voice echoed in the bedroom making her clutch her head in her hand. She couldn't give deaf ear to his words.
"I love you...but iska matlab yeh nahin hai ki main tujhse shaadi karunga. I would love to get you do...you know what I mean...without being married. I hate marriage but that doesn't mean that I hate woman and se*."
(It doesn't mean that I'll marry you)Crying her heart out she laid on the floor exhausted. After what felt like ages, she hread some silent commotion outside her room. She prepared her ears to grasp the situation.
OUTSIDE THE ROOMAn angry Mihir and Mihika stopped Raman from knocking on Ishita's door. Raman has come there after a lot of thinking. Finally he had decided to tell her everything because he couldn't hold her hatred or this much space between them. There is not a single day in the past five years when she cried because of him, when she didn't kiss him. It was more like death to think that she will not come to him again.
He wanted to tell her the reason for his behaviour. He in a corner of his heart had had a hope that she will not leave him after knowing that he is impotent. Even then the pessimistic Bhalla in him dreaded the worse. That was what he had done in the past five years but not anymore.
This time her little cousins were the obstacles in his way to reach her. He cannot shout at them nor can they. The duo quarrelled with him whispering curses for making their akka cry. Both of them knew that he wouldn't have misbehaved with her but might have said something. They feared if their akka gets more worried seeing him.
"Mujhe milne do use...please...I need to meet her...and say...how much...I love her..." He almost cried making MiMi shocked out of their wits.
(Let me meet her)
They stared at him tongue tied which he assumed as their denial mode. So he turned to go. Both of them wanted to call him but voice knotted in their lungs.
Meantime Ishita stood up angrily to lash out at him. But she so badly wanted him to say that all those were a joke. She has this tiny-tiny hope that he would have said it for a reason. But she wanted to hear it from him. Much to her dismay he left the place when she opened the door angrily.
"Ram...Raman...gaye?" Her voice choking, limps puddling.
(Raman has gone?)
Mihika side hugged her saying, "He really loves you akka...He was crying for you..."
Ishita didn't respond until Mihir's words entered her heart that he is guilty of something. He only wanted to apologise to her. Nothing else. "To hell with his love!" She spat back at herself and slammed the door to continue with her sobs.
NEXT DAY AT IYER'SIshita was standing at the balcony with her suitor Ashish Acharya with whom her family is trying to get her married. She was only twenty one when they met for the first time. It was a love at first sight for him while she placed him in her friend-list. The ten year friendship didn't change in her. But today she really want to change the equation between them. She was the one who called him to let him know that she is ready for the marriage. He took the next flight to see her from Mumbai.
After taking in the early morning breeze and silent heartbeats of his beloved one he asked, "Apko mujhse shaadi karne main koyi problem nahin hai Ishita...?"
(You don't have any problem to marry me?)
What she could hear was only Raman's words. How he insulted her love and dignity so simply. She felt disgusted for loving such rogue. She knows that whatever she is doing is not sensible and sensitive. She is somehow going to hurt herself and her friend equally by getting married. Although she just wanted to forget him. She just wanted to stay away from him. She tightened her grasp on the railing and gritted faking a smile saying, "No. I'm ready for this marriage." Her heart cried out loud that nothing of sort is going to happen.
INSIDE MIHIR'S ROOMThe devil trio was discussing the problem at hand to find a solution to mend it. Ruhi worriedly looked at a dejected Mihir while Mihika looked at both of them with an expression that what-is-the-reason-for-your-sadness. That made them get furious at her. Both of them took the pillows and began to hit her until she begged to stop.
Mihika said while panting, "Akka won't hear now. But we'll proceed the plan...Are you ready guys?"
The trio looked on confused while Mihika cleared, "Listen, ab humein yeh pata hai ki Raman Bhalla loves our akka. So it is a simple logic that he will get worried and will save her. Then it is in their hands to kiss it away."
(Now we know that RKB loves our akka)
Mihir like always put up the face of a genius and immersed in thought. Ruhi and Mihika patiently waited for his consent. Mihir explained the possibility of Ashish coming into the scene.
"Use distract karenge" Ruhi said jumping on the bed.
(Distract him)
The little trio shared a hug hoping that everything will be fine.
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Sampoorna
Bindi
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