IshRa Memories 2 Chp -44 08/07/2016 Page 87 - Page 12

Chapter: 37

IshRa finish their late night snacks Raman starts the bike but this time around without Raman saying anything Ishita hugs him tighter crushing her body to him this makes Raman smile a little more. He takes her to their company farmhouse.

Once they reach the farmhouse Ishita questions him why they have come here he doesn't say anything to her but just walks to the door and Ishita follows him with lot of questions on her mind. When Raman rings the doorbell the caretaker opens the door Raman sends him away stating that he can come in tomorrow morning.

IshRa move inside after locking the door he asks her to go and freshen up as this house is stocked with all the things needed. Ishita in the washroom thinking why did he bring me here does he want to continue where we left off in the house without any disturbance as she thinks about it a shy smile spreads across her face and she is mentally preparing herself Ishita you are not going to freeze when Raman comes near you repeating that phrase over and over again to give her strength to follow this through.

When she comes out Raman is waiting on the bed for her when she shyly walks towards him he takes her hand and walks out of the room which confuses her even more. Raman silently takes her to the backyard and asks her to sit on the bench near the swimming pool and fastens a shawl on her so that she doesn't feel cold in the night and sits close to her looking at the reflection of moon in the water without talking.

After few minutes Ishita keeps her hand on him and says to him Raman why did you bring me here. Raman looks at her and asks her do you trust me. Ishita is thinking where is this going and answers to him yes I do trust you. Raman asks if I ask you a question will you tell me the answer truthfully and if you are not comfortable to answer please let me know that also I will understand and won't ask for further explanation to my question as well. Ishita is more worried now with all this talk she says to him Raman you can ask me anything you want. Please don't create this tension just asks the question right way.

Raman after taking a deep breath holds her hand tighter and looks into her eyes and says to her I never wanted to know your past life either be it a childhood or Subbu or broken engagement or starting of our relationship how did you feel or your insecurity but if you considered me as your friend and will be able to share your feelings regarding that please talk to me about it now. There is no one except us or if you feel like I am overstepping my boundaries let me know we will spend a few hours in this solitude thinking about our future or just sit here idly and whenever you feel like going we will go; either way I am fine with it. I will promise you one thing I won't feel bad or jealous of Subbu when you talk about your relationship with him so it is up to you now to decide what you want to do so saying he again starts looking at reflection of moon in the water.

After a few minutes of quiet time with each other just looking at the reflection of the moon slowly she moves her head and places it on his shoulder. Raman looks at her and then brings his hand around her so that she is more comfortable they stay like that for few more minutes without talking.

Ishita finally starts speaking she says to him it might be difficult and won't be cohesive and it will be hurting to you do you still want me to talk about it because I don't want to give you any pain. Raman lifts her face and looks in the eyes and says to her no matter what I want your true feelings and if I am in pain because of your feelings then it is your duty to soothe those pains away so it is a win-win situation for me so saying he winks at her which brings a smile to her face.

Ishita says to him I had a happy childhood with my family until I got sick then I was admitted to a hospital slowly I recovered. When amma bought me home she became overprotective of me I was not allowed to go anywhere alone. My sister hated me because I was always tagged with her so she thought me as a burden.

Raman says to her seeing you two now nobody can say she thought you as a burden she says yeah our dynamics changed when we were teenager but I am talking about childhood at that time she wanted to be cool with her friends and little sister tagging was a big no. I thought your Jasoosi started with me but that is your in born quality you started that at a very young age with Vandu. Ishita gets miffed and turns her face Raman gets glad as she came out of her gloom turns her face back to him and kisses her forehead saying that is for the cute girl I should ask amma to show photos of your earlier years which brings a smile on her face.

Ishita continues with her conversation then came the teenage period where I went through lot of changes physically and mentally as well. I forgot all about the hospital incident. Akka and me patched up our difference and became best of friends. Akka meet jiju and my family liked him even though his mother was little bit old generation type jiju was nice so they fixed there relationship.

On my Akka engagement ceremony I meet Subbu for the first time. I liked him instantly because he was the first boy who talked with me he was tall and handsome as well so saying he looks at Raman. He has become little bit stiffer but had a smile on his face asking her to continue Ishita says to him he was very nice and very gentlemanly in general he acted like a prince Charming of every girl's fantasy. I was so hopelessly in love with the notion that I got my prince Charming I did not look further our relationship developed with that he slowly started controlling my actions at first I did not notice these things. It started with simple things he would not like the dress I wore so he would ask me to change before going out and I would happily change because I wanted to make him happy. He wanted me to learn cooking so I learnt it for him. I started noticing things as well that he would be happy if everything goes his way by chance if I say something he would sulk for days on end and finally I had to apologize to him even though it was not my mistake then only he will be happy. Even though I did not like many of the things he said I put up with it thinking marriage is a compromise and one has to give in for it to run smoothly. I wanted to study Pediatrics as I love kids but he said if I become a doctor I have to go at odd hours so he told me to choose arts so that I can be home with a degree but my passion was to enter medical field so I was not giving that up for anyone so I choose dentistry which was a compromise because I would be in the medical profession and I would not have to go out in the night.

While Ishita was telling this Raman was getting madder and madder at Subbu for subjecting his angel to this much dominance but outwardly he had a calm appearance so that she could spill out everything which is been bothering her today.

Our engagement day was fixed and on that fateful day I found out that there might be a possibility I won't be able to conceive. In a minute he threw me out of his life without even sparing a second glance that is when I knew for the first time all my instinct about him was right but I could not come out of the betrayal that easily. My work and family helped I became obsessed with work and did not think whether it was day or night I dedicated myself to work.

I saw Subbu again at Sharvu ceremony he was holding his wife Ragini hand and she was pregnant once again his mom taunted me that I am an baanj and no one will love me and the only option I have is to adopt a child while he has a complete family after he dumped me. Once again amma mistook my intention when she saw the photo Ruhi gave me to dress Muthu like you she thought we were in a relationship and told them that and for once in my life I wanted him to see that I am loved for myself not for making babies so I told him that you were head over heels in love with me so saying she cries. Raman says to her I am sorry about making fun of you when you got rejected for the adoption but I was mad because of you I lost Ruhi to shagun but when you started crying something in me wanted to take you in a hug and comfort you but I did not have the rights but now nothing is stopping me so saying he wipes her tears and asks her if you want I can go thrash that Subbu for putting you through so much pain but I am glad that time you took my name I would have liked to see his face then after hearing a lecture from my JRK even amidst her tears she smiles after hearing how protective her Ravan is of her.

Then came a whole bunch of suitors for whom my mom made me dress up but I knew they were going to reject me but I did dress up just to please my mom then came Prateek he was the first person to accept me with my faults at that time I thought he cared for me later I found out he wanted to marry me only for his career future. My engagement was also broken with that my belief I am a desirable woman was also gone even I did not realize that until I spoke to Vandu akka after I froze with you.

Raman just hugs her tighter giving her strength and doesn't speak anything as he could see she was in a trance and he wanted her to spew out all the things which are bothering her. Ishita hugs him back and tells him that about my past.

Chapter: 38

Raman asks her do you want to talk about us if you are not comfortable we will leave it. Ishita says there are some things which will hurt you I don't want to give that hurt to you. Raman says Ishita don't worry about it I just want you to get it out of your system so that we can move forward in our future.

Raman the first time I heard you I thought you don't have morals because you were throwing money at the policeman to continue the function. The second time I sensed you were rude person because Ruhi was following you and you were royally ignoring her that time also I did not see you because I had eyes only for my Ruhi. The third time when I was getting down the stairs and you were coming in the lights went off so did not see you but hated your attitude that for you money was important than family.

Raman smiles with hurt in his eyes thinking about that memory. Ishita sense his hurt and tells him I am sorry Raman but I know now that you have strong moral values, you world revolves around Ruhi and you would do anything for your family.

Raman says to her I am only sad because that day I could not see past Ruhi mole and ignored her which must have upset her very much but till today she only gives me love in return for me hate. I remember that day clearly because without knowing you started changing my life from the first time I heard your voice you were telling a person to look for employment because she could not come from personal leave to attend a sick child and there I was trying to ask an employee leave because he was attending his sick child but your conversation somehow changed mind my mind I asked Mihir to leave him with a warning and suddenly the light came up and it looks like that day I have chosen the right way to lead my life but it took a lot of while to understand it and the first thing I saw was your backside walking towards the gate and from that day onwards I have been having fascination for you backside so saying he smirks Ishita blushes and hits him on the arm.

Then again you came the next morning to get the business express and how rude you were. The first time I really saw you was when you bought Ruhi to the clinic I thought you were such a insensitive person not to care about Ruhi Raman says to her wait a minute that day I left work for Ruhi I couldn't concentrate on anything other than her pain Ishita says to him but I only heard part of your conversation with Mihir saying you were stuck in a dentist office Raman says to hear even before we knew you only hear part of the conversation and assume something else you cannot even became a proper jasoos. Ishita pouts angrily and Raman just kisses her pout because he could not hold himself back seeing her looking so cute.

Ishita shyly smiles and says to him remember the first time we touched each other passing Ruhi I took my hands out quickly because there was such a zing to it I didn't know what it was Raman says yeah me too but both us were so lost in our past we could not see what was in front of us but at that time too destiny showed that we were meant to be together and Ruhi will be playing cupid for us both smile as they reminisce about Ruhi.

Ishita suddenly ask Raman do you remember the night you walked with me protecting me from those gundas when we came out of the coffee shop after our disagreement of MiMi I was dreaming about you the way you caught my hand to prevent me from falling in the night I got so annoyed with myself for thinking about you but it took a long time for me to realize that I was grateful to you that you were with me that night. Raman says to her I remember that night as well because after six years I desired a lady do you think out of chivalry I gave you my coat I was so smitten the way you looked when you were drenched in rain I could not control myself but at that time I did not realize I had in fact desired you and for some unknown reason my heart was telling me to follow you so that you will be safe but much later found out that my heart was correct indeed you were my destiny and I was trying to protect what is mine.

Ishita further continues there were many tiffs and misunderstanding before our marriage every time I was getting angrier because you were piercing my shield of protectiveness without realizing it you were doing it that is why I was always angry with you. Raman says to her that was the same situation I was in before even I knew what was happening I started to evaluate my decision based on what you reaction would be and did not like that you were able to penetrate inside my head so I was more angry with you when our parents bought the marriage proposal I did not want to give anyone the leverage of using me just like Shagun and already you were impacting my life.

Ishita smiles at him and says what fools we have been destiny bought us together, our hearts realized we were meant to be together but because of our past life we were not able to move forward. Do you remember the day we went to court today I am glad we did not get married that day as every girl dreams I wanted a prince Charming, who comes in a horse and takes her to a beautiful place and lives happily everafter after a dream wedding. I got that in our wedding there was so much drama we will have loads to tell when we are grandparents and shyly tells him you know when you danced for me that is the first time I ever looked at you with different intention and thought how handsome this guy looks then you came down and once again we started fighting and you became Ravan again.

Raman smiles and teases her saying besharam so you were ogling me even before our marriage and I was correct in asking you to maintain your distance otherwise my respect would have gone in the wind with you suddenly Ishita becomes quiet Raman realizes this and asks what happened Ishita.

Ishita says Raman you know once Subbu rejected me over a possibility on a report I want be able to conceive, Prateek rejected me because his career was more important to him, Many people rejected me because for them continuing their family line was important and you married me only for Ruhi so I lost confidence in me as a women.

Ishita with a lot of gaps fills in Raman initially I did not expect anything from our marriage except Ruhi love but I did accept everyone in our family as mine the day I married you and I don't know when our equation changed and I started expecting this from you like a normal husband but whenever you say don't touch me or don't come near me my belief in I am not a desirable women got strengthened. When we tried to consummate our marriage I was afraid that you would compare me with Shagun who is beautiful and think you got the bad end of the stick. I am also afraid once we finish the act you will be really disappointed with me and leave me like others but this time I want be able to live without you because you are my life.

Raman slowly wipes the tears which are falling and says to her Ishita I am sorry for aggravating your insecurity but I had a tough time controlling my desire for you that is why I said not to touch me because from your mere accidental touches I used to spend taking long cold showers do you understand what I am saying if your accidental touches can do this to me think about what would be if we ever do it and for some unknown reason one of us doesn't meet the other expectation that is okay that is not only life it is only a part of life which we can live without as we proved that living right now. Once again put this in your brain I will never compare you and Shagun for me she is past and nothing to do with my life. You guys are poles apart for which I am thankful to god everyday just to make you understand I will let you know you are more beautiful than her because your beauty comes from within your heart so it stays on your face but hers will fade away with age because it is only outward beauty.

Ishita my jaan look at me you are the most desirable woman I have seen on this earth I am even jealous of Mihir, Romi ,Bala and Mani because they can hug you wherever they are without thinking what the whole world will think about it. Ishita laughs hearing this Raman they are my brother, devar, Jiju and friend.

Raman tells her you know what you will find this even more atrocious as I am jealous of Adi, Shravu and especially Ruhi who is in the receiving end of your love and kisses and poor me doesn't get anything. Ishita laughs like anything and says kuch bhi Raman why do you talk all these nonsense I know you and everybody think that Ruhi is my love and you are part of the package for me both of you matter most Ruhi is my soul and you are my life without you two guys I cannot function where will I go without my bodyguards so saying she lightly pecks on his lips on an impulse and moves away due to shyness. Raman gathers her close and says to her you know what I would like to take you the bedroom upstairs and have my ways with you but alas we don't have time for that but one day madrasan we will surely do it but do tell me what is still plaguing you.

Ishita says to him Raman I know I am Ruhi mom and Ruhi knows that too but I am afraid now that Shagun is staying with us Ruhi will have her mom back and without Ruhi what will happen to our relation Raman

You are a pagal madrasan you just said that we both are you soul and life and we are your bodyguard more than me Ruhi will not leave a person who insults you she is very protective of her mother but coming to your question the only thing I regret in our marriage is adding the stupid Ruhi ki lye clause but thankful to Ruhi every day for getting me a perfect angel as a partner other than the clause our marriage is perfect even without Ruhi I am not leaving you and going anywhere you don't have any option but to stay with your Ravan kumar till end so saying he winks at her. Ishita smiles at him and once again hugs him tight both stay together thinking that they got their much needed alone time in clearing out some of their difference each content on knowing that no matter what they will always be there to support each other.

Please leave your comments both positive and negative criticism is appreciated.

P.N. I won't be able to update this till end of July.

Chapter 39