Your post resonated with me to the T. The introduction of the new track about Ruhi feeling insecure and stuck between her fighting parents is a wonderful move, but at the wrong time. Ruhanika is such an amazing little girl...I think she would have just created magic on the screen with both Divyanka and Karan. It's so unfortunate that she's not shooting right now. We saw a brief glimpse of Ruhi feeling neglected in last week's episode after karwa chauth when Mani called Ishita and both Raman and Ruhi were waiting for their breakfast. No matter how much Ruhi loves Ishita and vice-versa, for the world, Ishita is still Ruhi's stepmother. Just that one word brings with it negative connotations and a flood of thoughts that mostly circle around stepmothers ill-treating their stepchildren. While Ruhi and Ishita share a pure, loving relationship, there are bound to be insecurities that pop up in the child's mind, particularly when she is at an age where she is prone to be deeply affected and influenced by her peers and her surroundings. It's an important topic to portray on-screen where you have the power to influence and change the views of thousands/millions of people that watch the show. Spot on! Ishita and Ruhi's pious relationship is the USP of the show, it makes YHM what it is. Ishita Iyer became Mrs. Ishita Raman Bhalla because of her relationship with Ruhi. There is so much potential in this track because all other relationships in Ishita's life are because of this one very important relation i.e the mother-daughter relationship. And unfortunately that 'step' in front of any relationship invites unwanted scrutiny from the society and this could hamper a child's development. Ruhi could very well be influenced by her surroundings and this could put a strain on her relationship with Ishima. Sooo much potential...I only hope we get to see this.
Now, coming to Ishita, I read posts today that bashed her for forgetting the role of being Ishima, but I couldn't relate with that reasoning or those thoughts. When you have so much going on in your life with regards to your relationship with your husband and dealing with your own feelings, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, (even for a woman like Ishita) to put yourself on the back burner and think about everyone else. The more you try to be a good samaritan and put everyone before yourself, the more everyone's expectations from you increase; this is exactly the case with Dr. Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla nee Iyer. Ishita has always put everyone else before her; she agreed to meet every boy that her mom introduced her to even though she herself was least interested in marriage...she put her own safety and fears behind her to think of her sister-in-law's happiness when she brought Param back into the house...she shoved her sentiments under the rug when she brought her husband's drunk ex-wife Shagun into the house that night. She did all this without expecting anything in return. We could call all of these acts of mahaanta or we could see them as a part of Ishita's personality. She is a woman who just loves to give...she loves to spread love and happiness. And more often than not, she never expects anything in return. But the one time after the marriage that Ishita expected love and respect back from her husband, she didn't get it. She lied to Mani and herself when she said that it doesn't matter to her...that she didn't do anything for acknowledgement...that she is just satisfied to see Raman happy, but it doesn't matter who the cause of his happiness is. But those words were just a cover to hide her true feelings. She is deeply in love with her husband, a man who she used to hate, a man who she only married for his daughter, a man who is extremely insecure about his past. Can you imagine the storm that must be raging in her heart and mind? For Ishita, Raman's silent "rejection" was a repeat of Subbu dropping her like a hot potato all over again. She had closed herself off from all these emotions after being dumped and she had learned to live without expecting anything in return for her goodness. But now, when she made the mistake of listening to her heart once again, all she got was the same rejection that she faced so many years ago. How can you expect a woman going through all of this emotional trauma to suddenly forget everything and shift the focus away from herself? It's funny you mention Ishita's 'mahanta' because I had said the exact same thing while discussing this with berrysweet. Ishita's behavior of selflessness and an eagerness to help others comes from her insecurity of not feeling adequate, her inability to conceive and the subsequent failure of her love life. Her personality is shaped by her being 'barren' so much so that there seems to be fear of losing her loved ones if she doesn't overcompensate. What a beautiful layered character and how I wish Ishita is explored more on this show.
And her rejection by Raman is so beyond heart breaking that she is back to being 'barren' and this time around her soul is barren...hence I craved for that conversation where Raman gets to find out what his hurtful words did to his wife.
I read posts that commented on how Ishita could feel Ruhi's plight from next door in the early days of the show but she is now completely ignorant of her own daughter. My only response to that is a personal anecdote. Without going much into detail, there was a point in my mom's life where she was going through a really tough time...family problems, fights with my dad, etc. I was 10 years old at that time, so I wasn't at the age where I was completely ignorant of everything but of course I didn't fully understand the situation either. Well, during those few difficult months, my mom was so absorbed in her problems that she did kind of let go...she let go of everything. The mother that used to be up at the crack of dawn to make a hearty breakfast for her family, the mother who would walk her child to the bus stop every morning, the mother who would read her daughter a bedtime story every night and tuck her into bed...well that mother kind of disappeared for some time. That mother became engulfed by a woman's grief. Did I feel neglected, unwanted, and rejected at that time? Hell yes! But did my mom's behavior at that time mean that she no longer loved me? Of course not! Because when she sorted through everything and was able to come out of her own grief, she again became that caring, loving mother that I was always used to having around. Thank you for sharing your personal story and putting this into perspective for all of us. Like I said this show deserves a mature viewership like yourself. Also I don't venture out too much on the forum for this specific reason, it's hurtful to read women berating women.
When a woman becomes a mother, does she assume that single identity for the rest of her life? Is a mother no longer a daughter, wife, friend, or woman? Is she just a mother? While I wish that the misunderstandings between Raman and Ishita should have been cleared before this track was introduced, I think that this track will add to the growth of IshRa's relationship. I have said this many a times before. Ishita and Raman came together sirf Ruhi ke liye and the catalyst that will push them forward in this relationship is also Ruhi herself. You know it's not just the Indian society but the world all over expects a woman to let go off everything when she becomes a mother. Suddenly her identity is of only a mother, she ceases to exist as a person, i think we need to evolve as a community to treat our mothers better.
Sorry for such a long post...I guess I got a bit carried away. 😳 This was a treat to read please don't apologize. I will go to bed enriched reading this.
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