#1| IshRa : Meherbaan FF | Thread One - Complete. Moved to Thread Two. - Page 91

C H A P T E R 1 7 B D H E E R E J A L N A

Chapter Edited by Dhara (@dsgirl)

There was one thing Ishita was quite certain about. Ruhi loved it here. Her daughter loved the attention showered upon. She loved the constant fussing and companionship of her parents who feared for her wellbeing. Ishita had grown up in this place. She knew every nook and corner by heart. And she knew that her daughter was safe.

Despite it all Ishita feared one thing - the people.

Ishita who normally trusted people blindly wouldn't dare to share the same feeling when it came to her daughter. Ishita was selfish when it came to Ruhi, after all she lived for the child of four. Ishita's universe began and ended with her two R's and coming back to the place she grew up in Ishita wasn't sure how she felt with these people being around Ruhi.

Ruhi was a quick learner and the last thing Ishita needed was her daughter to be influenced by such negativity. Raman and Ishita strived to raise their daughter in a loving environment. Heck, Ruhi grew up in one without her parents even trying to create one for her. That was their family.

The Delhites.

Ishita now lay in bed with her husband as she hugged his torso. Cuddled together in a light comforter Raman still hadn't questioned her about her recent behaviour. She guessed that he knew that this experience would be a tough one on her. Coming back to the place she left behind was never easy, there was a reason she abstained from making that choice all these years ago.

She moved closer to him as he snuggled closer still not looking away from his latest purchase that was an iPad. She remembered waking up to an iPad Mini 3 and upon questioning all she got for an answer was, I liked both.. It isn't yours. Both are ours. It would be reckless to buy both of them for me.

Her apple fanboy of a husband.

"I like this," he mused presenting her one of several designs sent to him. Designs for Ruhi's new room. Ishita's adjoined study was to be Ruhi's new room. Raman wasn't quite comfortable with the fact that Ruhi spent her nights with people who weren't him or Ishita. And neither was Ishita. The next few minutes were spent by Mr and Mrs Bhalla in bed - pushing, pulling and tugging at each other doing things completely opposite to what they had in mind. The were doing the dirty. Planning Ruhi's room without her permission.

Raman playfully pushed Ishita away only to have her tug at him harder upon which the both of them burst into cynical grins. The clock struck and on cue the Bhalla couple counted to three and on the third strike barged in Baby Bhalla her pin straight yet semi wavy hair flying in all directions. She puffed at her fringe and jumped into bed with her parents. The father switched his stance to that of a warrior and the kid got into battle with him followed by oohs and aahs from both parties while the mother took the opportunity to tug the comforter closer to her without getting caught. And she did get caught.

Oh, she did. And she was the victim to the Raman-Ruhi's loving version of the perfected and well coordinated death glare. And they attacked her with tickles and pillows and wet kisses. Ruhi tried to "burrow" her head into Ishita's tummy tickling the young mother and gaining loud boisterous laughter from her father's side. On Ishita's counter tickling, now papa Bhalla was the victim to his daughter's soft kicks and his payback was mock bites aimed at the daughter and the missed ones that fell on her mother. The worst sort of happy torture for the latter.

Narrations, happy hugs and counter loads of kisses later Madhavi and Swamini found Raman's girls in his arms. Ishita resting herself as she lay comfortably in his hold and the daughter as she lay on his abdomen telling her parents all about her adventures while they listened in rapt attention. And they made no attempt to straighten themselves upon Paati and the strange lady. All that changed was that Raman's arm that supported his neck previously now curved around Ishita's shoulder as he complained to his mother-in-law on Ruhi turning out to be just like Ishita with all the talking she does, only difference was that she was cute earning a playful jab from his wife who attempted to walked out of bed only to be pulled back in. Amma had informed Ishita of the 'Girl Time' planned before the night fall to which Raman gave Amma a mock salute promising her to get the lazy Madrasan out of bed.

"At the rate the both of you'll are going, I doubt that," was all said by an equally cheeky Amma.

The older woman had walked away with the kid leaving the Bhalla couple to their own devices. And as she walked away, before locking the door on her way out the conversation sounded something like this.

"Suit yourself. I have no qualms in changing my clothes in bed. You're the one to suffer the cold showers."

"Tempting offer, Madrasan,"

"Okay. Here we go..." which was followed by laughter from her daughters end.

**

Mihika was pulled into a dimly lit room by Nitya. Mihika remembered this room. The Iyer girls corner. How many days had she spent here. The ancestral room designed and decorated by their grandmother. Mihika had so many fond memories here. This was the room in which she had confessed to Vandita and Ishita that she liked Mihir. Her elder sisters then in stable relationships had helped her out there. The outspoken Mihika and the cool-headed Mihir who never took a step without his brother's prior considerations. This was the room in which she had her first period talk followed by the birds and bees talk administered by Vandita akka and the elder cousins to a visibly cringing Ishita and a highly attentive Mihika - the Iyer babies. Ishita's refusal to go to prom upon knowing the after math. Their elder brother Vishwanathan had been Ishita's date that particular night. Dress selected by Bhabhi, makeup by the cousins and escorted by Vish Anna who glared at any one who looked at her the wrong way. Ishita had confessed to have the best night of her life.

Mihika wondered if this room had seen the light of the day ever since everyone walked away. The family weren't the same. They weren't a family. Per se. They were people who had come together to celebrate the wedding of the brother who stood gaurd over them all their lives. They owed him that. They needed to be the glue that held them together with his positivity and optimism. And when he had lost it. They had lost the battle. The game ended. They split up.

Mihika observed the room once again. The massive room with all kinds of dresses, makeup, shoes and accessories. This had to be a girls dream. A dream they grew up in. Decorated immaculately with chandeliers, the most expensive wallpapers, a makeshift chimney and pictures that lay overhead. All of them growing up. Mihika felt a tear leave her eye as she blushed her hand over a pic of Bhabhi with Mihika and Ishita. They owed their values and upbringing to that fine lady. Their soul sister and mother figure. The one who taught them to never let go. To fight till the end. Mihika gasped for air as she walked across the wall of fame.. Pictures documenting their happy times. They were no signs of sign of unhappiness, or any other speck of uncertainty. It was them. Happy. A family.

The room was different from her memories. Back then it was a source of life. Their utopia. Long chats with their grandmother. Tales of happiness and fortune. Their mothers telling them how to live life. This was the place Mihika let her feeling out to Vishwanathan Anna. The only boy to ever enter the room. Her father had walked out on them. Her mother pretended to be strong for her. And the talks. Mihika's views on men had changed then. The talks. The denial. Her father switching mistresses like he switches table cloths. Vishwa had held her in his arms and promised her that he'd be the only guy in her life from now on and no matter what he wouldn't let her go. And even if she left, even if they left he would always watch over her. She had failed him.

She had chosen Ishu Akka over everyone and she wouldn't change that decision ever. Ishu was the reason Mihika lived another day. The cousin who was a blood sister to her. The one who at a young age shared her father with the fatherless Mihika. The one who sat though with her. The one who wasn't experienced but laughed at Mihika's wails that her first time wasn't good. Her inexperienced and very virgin elder sister advised her that romance novels lie, that he'd get better with time and to spare her the details. She didn't. She may have walked out on her family but with Ishu came a jeeju who adored her. Her hero who fought her battles for her. The self-righteous man who her Akka had chosen to marry. Life wouldn't change then. Tides would turn and there may be paradoxes but Mihika would choose this decision time and again.

Dim lights. Mattresses. Pushed aside furniture. Fairy lights and sheets to give the illusion of a Midsummer Night's Dream. And on the mattress lay most of the girls. The one she had been introduced to, was yet to be introduced to, grew up with and her very pregnant Vandy akka.

"Mikku. Remember Ishita grossing out at every 'talk' about doing it with Subbu,"

Mihika laughed.

"And now look at her. After my poor jeeju. She can't get enough of him. They're the cutest."

Vandita laughed in return. The elder Iyer sister respected the much younger and snobbish man her sister had married. She couldn't joke around with him as freely as Mihika did. Mihika and Raman. Ishita and Bala. And Vandita and Mihir. These were the sibling - spouse pairing. Ishita connected to Bala. Vandita connected to Mihir and Mihika connected with Raman. The shocker.

Mihika dropped herself on the closest mattress she could spot her. She had Vandita on her right followed by Nalini and Nitya on her left.

"Remember the first society function Raman attended. First Amma had issues with the Punjabi functions, followed by Appa being friends with Bhalla uncle. I mean, Papaji. And the both of them show up. And when Raman's friends and clients mistake Ishu to be his wife. He just plays along. And Ishita doesn't say anything. How shocked were our families. It was a shocker. Okay. They hadn't even met properly. They knew each other for days. Barely," said Vandita.

"That wasn't the first time, Akka. When Raman's friends, Trisha's brother, mistook them to be a couple.. Let's just say we had a very eventful triple date. A very married couple. A half scared Mihir. A calm jeeju. Akka. And a very worried me. I mean. Ours, Mihir's and mine elder sibling who couldn't see eye to eye when it came to our relationship were now on a date with us. How much more awkward could it get. It was a while ago I was asking Akka for permission to let Mihir attend her wedding and now there she was on a date with Mihir's elder brother who she couldn't stand at all," shuddered Mihika.

"Raman is Mihir's elder brother?" inquired a curious Nitya.

"Raman is more like Mihir's father figure. But adoptive brother, yes. Infact that's how Akka met him. Jeeju was against our relationship and Akka was for it. Shaadi ki baath humari thi. More than a week or two later, they married instead. And now jeeju can't wait for Mihir to get married. It's hilarious."

"He's nice. Remember when he got Mihir engaged to Trisha. Raman and Ishita went on a cold-not-so-cold-war. And it was a test. I felt like punching the guy in his face. Depressing soul. And there he was convincing your 'new fake fiance' all the reasons he shouldn't marry you. The drama."

"I like the family I'm partially marrying into, okay. The sweetest was when Jeeju convinced Amma to let me marry Mihir, promising to punch Buddu if he ever got it wrong. Like Akka I would marry Buddu just for the family. You know as kids, Ishu and Vandy akka always teased me that they'd be sisters forever marrying into a huge family. The funny thing is that today, Akka and I are marrying into the same family and Bala jeeju is a part of our family. We stand together. As always. It's like a childhood dream come true."

"Ishu and I always dreamt of having our kids at the same age. Bala always chastised us that Ishu was too young to be a mom. Growing up, Bala was more of Ishita's boyfriend buddy than mine. They had this connection you know. The protectiveness he felt for her. It was like she was our first child. When Ishu decided to marry Raman because of Ruhi, Bala was the one who supported her decision. We were so scared for her. She barely even knew the guy. They were having a kid together. They couldn't stand each other. The probability of their marriage seeing the light of the day was so less. They disagreed on almost everything in the universe. And marrying a cold, calculating and heartless person like Raman who failed to respect anyone other than his family - it was scary. Ishita was a moth attracted to the light that was Ruhi never once thinking of the flame that would burn her the minute she got closer to it. That's when everyone feared for her. She was desperate. She didn't care for anyone. She didn't look past anyone but Ruhi. Accepting whatever fate that came along with her. Minutes before their wedding all I wanted to do was slap some sense into her. I couldn't let her ruin her life. No one knew Raman. His own family walked on egg shells around him. He spoke in threats and numbers and not words. And then what I heard him say changed it all, 'Tum auratein kuch bhi manh bhayanak kahani ko sunte ho aur usse apna sach bana lete ho,' and in that moment I saw in him what Bala had seen and we had failed to see. A man who craved for the same love that Ishita did. The man desperate to experience fatherhood just like Ishita was in love with the idea of motherhood. They were two people who were remnants of horribly broken relationships that needed a chance to start afresh and I was no one to take them away from them. And the marriage was the time I had seen Ishita smile the most. And Raman who captured those little moments without letting her know. Maybe it was fear. Of letting her down. Of losing it all."

Maybe it was the pregnancy or maybe she needed to let it out Vandita spoke that night. Words that needed to be said. Words that needed to be heard by the four walls that surrounded them all. Words mixed with tears of joy, faith, redemption, acceptance, thankfulness and so many more emotions.

"And the probability of them having Ruhi were so negligible compared to the probability of them losing her. They were new to marriage. Adjusting the the idea of living together. Still new to the environment and relationships and they were battling the thought most couples didn't even face in their individual marriages. The idea of losing their first and probably only child. The scary process. The fear. Pressure. Constant media attention. The frustration. They were going through the first strike. And when it hit against them they proposed a divorce. It was scary. Akka was cold. She didn't show emotion. Jeeju was a mess. And then I saw him. In Mihir's apartment. He was a mess. A horrible drunk mess. And then Mihir asked him the question that kept plaguing all of us. The question Akka refused to answer. Mihir asked him if he would go, and he said, he wouldn't. Ever. That he'd promised her that he'd never let her go. That he couldn't put here through the mess her ex did. He couldn't fling her away because of a child. That his upbringing taught him more than that. That he respected her. That this time there would be no Ishita to save him from himself and there would be no Raman to save her from the demons. He said they would try over and over till they had their child in their arms. Nothing mattered. That it was Akka he was scared for. Scared of unleashing his demons on her. His past. His mistakes. The mess that came along with him. The failure of losing their child that she wouldn't be able to deal with. He feared for her. Of the outcome. That he knew the feeling and how it killed you. Piece by piece. That he would fail to save her. And he would fail her parents. His parents. That for once the right was wrong. That he would fail to protect her from herself like all those years ago. That he wouldn't be able to save the little that was left of her. He said he was scared. And their trials were blessed with Ruhi. How could a child of 4 convince a grown man of 32, that she loved him despite him choosing the woman whose womb she was in and not the fetus that was her. How could a child of four lead a grown man to breakdown knowing that the choices he made were right for everyone? How does a child of four manage to solve her parents problems just like that? How can a child love her parents so unconditionally? The understanding. The maturity. The love. And everything that Ruhi is - the answer to Amma, Appa and Akka's years prayers followed by Raman's families 'mannatein'. Rooh. She's everyone's soul. Our redemption. Akka's love And she knows it very well," said Mihika. One could trace faint tear lines down her face as she leaned on her elder sister. It was in the melancholy in the moment that got her. It was the moment. The talks. For once there was a fairytale that moved in time - adapting and evolving in it. Mihika rubbed her hands over Vandita's tummy. And the baby kicked. And Mihika wiped away a lone tear. Tears wouldn't welcome their baby into this world. Happiness would. She grinned placed her head on Vandita's tummy. Babies. She couldn't wait for the day she started a family with Mihir. She couldn't wait.

And the discussion faded out to Mihika and everyone went to discuss the futures, talks, careers, gossips and so much more. Mihika for once felt out-of-place despite having so many people around her. She was used to the little universe they had built. The world suddenly felt like a scary place and she reminded herself that she had a wonderful family with her who would gladly shoo the bad men away. What if the bad men were the ones within the mix? What if they were your loved ones, she mused. She had a family. And she was in the process of adding to it. Shravan was growing up with Ruhi. If things went the way she wanted them to, she would give Akka's daughter another sibling.

**

Raman waited for Ishita. He leaned against the washroom door, tapping his feet as he jammed music. He moved to the beat, replied to emails, texts, spammed his Madrasan and aimed for an imaginary basketball hoop once everything was accomplished.

And she emerged - dressed down in ripped skinny jeans and a loose tank top. Her feet were bare and her hair was knotted in a lose French braid. She looked perfect and though he wouldn't dare to tell her this but to him, she was perfection.

She tilted her head to the right and smiled at him. Maybe, she knew?

Haan.. der se hi to sahi

Haaye.. dil ko kisi pe hai yakeen

Chhoote naa, Chhoote na..

Ab ye laagi chhoote nahi

Tu bas ja mujh mein mera ban ke hi

Yes, even though late,

The heart has trusted someone..

Now this love shouldn't fade off..

Live in me, becoming mine only..

She quirked an eyebrow, smirked at him and then broke into a random dance number and he concealed his laughter. Her random dance moves, the way her body grooved and illuminated happiness and joy was what he needed to know that he was threading down the right path. A path of happiness and contentment.

Mileya mileya mujhe.. par meinu jaaneya nahin

Mileya mileya mujhe.. par meri suneya nahin

Mileya mileya mujhe.. par meinu jaaneya nahin

Je main janeya janeya tujhe

Phir te main bhuleya sabhi

I found (love), but he doesn't know me

I found love, but it doesn't listen to me..

I found love but he doesn't listen to me..

If I know you..

..then I'll forget everything (else, other than you)

His head rocked to the music. He liked this song. She pulled him towards her and forced her steps onto him. Her wierd whacky steps that didn't go hand in hand with his personality.

She burst into laughter and so did she. Switching from cutely imitated hip hop to funky animated break dances with him cheering her on. Sometimes her arm were around his neck and with the other she 'beat the air' while he did the same with his free hand under her influence. On then he would dip her into a classic Bollywood dip as if they were in their own movie. Both of themselves losing themselves to their favorite song.There were moments where like her, he too let go of himself and just danced with her to randomness. What would the RKB in him say to this? He didn't care. He wasn't the boardroom RKB. Now, with her, he was her Raman. Her husband. The father of her child. The man who was unknowingly falling madly in love with her.

Na jaane kis pal kahaan kaise

khhota qaraar hai, karaar hai

Naina lag jaaye jo kahin

Nazdeekiyon ka pata..

Hai dooriyan de gayeen

No one knows when and where

Peace of mind goes..

If someone falls in love,

Even distances give the address of closeness

And then when their jam ended - not by her or him but by the mutual faintness that came upon them. She used him as her support system, and he helped her stand up. And they burst into laughter mentally promising to repeat this. He held in his arms, not letting go of her. And she? She made no efforts to get out of his arms. Instead she made herself comfortable there. His wicked, wicked and not-so-innocent wife. And in his arms she made faces at him.

Yes, she could never be normal, he concluded. Normalcy wasn't in her genes. Now he truly feared for himself. Puttar! What were they signing up for?

There she stood in his arms blissfully unaware of the changes his body was going through. And how hard he was controlling all his urges. Innocence. Innocence wasn't for him. And when she tried those pouts on him because she 'was heading to an evening with a lot of pictures and snapshots', he was done for. Pouting was the last things he wanted those lips to do. He wanted to kiss them senseless and then have them do the same to him. All over. If only she knew the thoughts that ran though his mind. Heck, he was done with concealing whatever he felt. It was Puttar's time for action. He mentally killed the 'keeda' of uncertainty at the back of his mind and pulled her body towards. Closer to him. Until her lips were next to him. She tugged at his collar for grip and when she looked into his eyes did she loosen her grip on his collar. Her palms moving up as she locked arms around his neck. Closing her eyes, with a bated breath she felt as his lips lowered towards.

If only he knew how much she longed for this.

And. And Mihika barged in demanding for her Jeeju to let go of her Akka. And when Raman, who had no intention of doing so shook his head in negative mentally thanking his stars for a sign that whatever he felt his wife felt something similar: that the feeling was mutual, had Mihika turned to Ishita who instead just gave her younger sister a shrug that basically screamed 'Mihika. Out. Now!' Mihika had gladly ignored the warning and half expected her Akka and Jeeju to resume what they were doing before her rude interruption.

Mihika had even taken the liberty to pick her Akka's footwear all whilst shaking her head and mumbling how they desperately needed a get away. To which Raman agreed, earning a playful whack from Ishita who was still safely cocooned in his arms as he fawned over how cute his Mihika was when things didn't go her way. That he could almost see smoke emerge from her ears with all the huffing and puffing she did. And that her ears were almost red. Earning a glare from his saali and chuckle from his wife. And when Mihika did manage to get Ishita out his arms - forcefully.

Only to have Akka hold his hands and drag him towards the walk in area which held her closets, handing a very complying Mihika the basics necessities as she walked back to the original scene of crime. Mihika's akka leaned in closer to her husband, stripped him of his waist coat gaining a very suggestive look from him to which Akka just shook her head. Ishita had then scrunched her nose (quite adorably) and placed a chaste peck on his lips and pushed him into the wash room not before gaining a cringe from Mihika and a "You'll should get a room," as a bonus. Counter replied with a, "you are in our room sweetheart. And the fact that Ishita and I have seen worse. Let's start listing - with the rocking car.." from Raman and an "Okay, that's enough," from Ishita who took up the role of an acting moderator.

Ishita had then burst into a random grin, followed by a few chuckles, she wore her footwear and then picked Raman's clothes for him. Carefully arranging the material on their marriage bed Ishita gave herself a proud nod and locking arms with Mihika she walked out of the room carefully shutting the door after her.

Kehte hain har ek dil mein chhupaa

kahin pyaar hai, pyaar hai

Bas pehchaane jo koi

They say that hidden in every heart,

There is love..

If only someone recognizes it..

And as he watched her from the crack between the doors, for a moment Raman felt like a teenager all over again. He shut the door after her and leaned against the wall to get a grip on himself.

There were so many layers to her. And all he knew was that he was falling madly, deeply and irrevocably in love with all that was here and there was nothing and no one who save him from a lifetime of falling in love with his wife. This once, he refused to be saved - even by her.