New IshRa OS: 'Confessions'

Raman was standing at the window gazing at his own reflection as his mind went to that paagal madrasan who was his legally wedded wife. These days she was the one occupying his thoughts most of the time.
Why was she behaving weirdly these days? Oh when has she behaved rationally?
But something was wrong. He too was not himself these days but he was the only one aware of it. He was hiding it really well. He was Raman Kumar Bhalla. He would rather hide it all his life than let the madrasan knows that he was falling for her. Yes he had finally admitted to himself, he was married to the sweetest, loveliest and cutest woman on earth and day by day her sweetness and goodness were killing him. But admitting it to her would be bruising his ego and RKB could not afford it. And on top of that she seemed to be not interested at all in him. That must be the reason of her avoiding him so much these days. She was not fighting much with him and these days she would come in the room to sleep only when Ruhi would be in the same room.
- Arrey Non-vegetarion hoon par usse to nahin khaa jaounga!

Raman muttered under his breath. Continuing his soliloquy, he went on :
- Anyway Bhalla, better bury those feelings deep inside your heart, lock it and throw the key in space!
Suddenly his eyes fell down to a book left on the window sill before him. It had a red cover. Raman picked it up and opened it... He was shocked... Ishita's journal.
- Aahaaa!
The devil exclaimed in his head.
No he shouldn't!!

2nd February 2006
Subu! He was looking so handsome in the party. My heart was going dhak dhak, dhak dhak, dhak dhak...I hope we kiss today. I have been waiting for my first kiss with my Subu for months...

- Ewww!! Ishita ki bacchi! She pretends to be so "sidhi sadhi" and there she was lusting after that Subu and dying to be kissed! I hope that Madrasi didn't kiss my wife.

He continued to scan the page and heaved a sigh of relief to read that Bala came to pick Subu and they missed the opportunity!
- Thank you Bala. I owe you this one! What nonsense am I talking about? That was so long back! I better skip those Subu chapters. I don't want to get a heart attack! Who knows what they did for so many years together?


He turned some more pages more, there were mentions of special moments in her life, incidents who marked her life - good and bad and of course how she met Ruhi and how it was love at first sight for her. Raman smiled. His daughter and Ishita indeed share a deep unbreakable bond.
He was to stop because reading her diary was like being peeping Tom but his curiosity was picked at the mention of his name.


13th December 2013
Raman Kumar Bhalla
Oh Murugan! What a disgusting man! Drunkard and so uncivilized! I finally met this poor Ruhi's father. He is arrogant, rude and his tongue!! Ayyo ...tongue nahin blade hain!

3rd January 2013
I dislike this man with a passion. In fact I think I pity him more.
He is so weak and irresponsible. Drinking to drown his tensions and griefs which I am sure are self inflicted and leaving his child so miserable with a bimbo who gave her expired meds. N then coming to blame me and family and accusing us of kidnapping.Hadd hain!!
I couldn't hold myself. I gave him a good piece of my mind today. He has no manners. His parents didn't spend much time grooming him so obviously...

Raman didn't have to go through all these pages to know what gems of discourses the madrasan had jotted down in the next pages. Obviously she was venting it out in that poor diary. He had to admit, he had been more than unreasonable and rude with her. He skipped more pages of his 'aarti utaaring ' to stop at another date - Their wedding date!


13 February 2014
Finally I am married. Amma's dream to see me as a bride has been fulfilled. Appa wanted to see me settled too. Everybody was happy , all is well...the biggest day of my life and i am feeling so disconnected to the whole thing.. Strange! When akka asked me if i found Raman handsome, i realized i hadn't even watched him closely!
I was marrying for my parents but more importantly for this innocent child who is love deprived thanks to selfish parents.
I share a strange bond with Ruhi. I can do anything to bring a smile on her face. In my last birth I was surely her mom. I am leaving for my new house for Ruhi n definitely not as Raman Kumar Bhalla's wife.

Raman felt a twinge of pain in his heart. Could he really blame her? Their marriage was everything except a fairy tale. Full of compromises! Two people who had been betrayed in love and trying to live together for other reasons than love

14 February 2014
Valentine's Day and first night with Raman Bhalla in the hotel! Suhaag Raat n with that Kharroos! Joke of the millennium.
Btw it was unique all the way! He spent it in the bathroom in a bathrobe! His tummy was upset all night and he booked the loo for himself! And the misunderstanding! How embarrassing! I thought he ordered condoms! I am married to a very kharroos but entertaining man. My married life will not be boring at all with this Raman Kumar Bhalla antic piece!


Turning on some more pages, Raman read about all their antics together...their fights...Ruhi as the light of their life...Shagun and Adi...
Raman realized there was a noticeable change in the way Ishita had started describing him. Now sentences like - handsome hain par kam kharroos nahin, he cares in his own special way, sirf jataate nahin...
Yes she was still calling him Ravan Kumar, Kir kir Kumar. Kharoos... but she has stopped judging him. In fact Jhansi Ki Rani had mellowed down. Hmmm interesting! He needed to know more now! He was like the cub who has just tasted blood...


10 May 2014
Today i am so happy. I am back in my house. He has come to take me. He had held his ears too. Awww he is so sweet when he smiles. Baar baar smile kyun nahin karta woh?
I am the only one who knows how i felt when he didn't stop me when amma was taking me away. I couldn't believe he believed that Parmeet but thank God he didn't.
My husband is a smart cookie after all and a sensible family man and i am proud of him

Raman smiled proudly, fixing his collar! Finally some good stuffs about him. Scanning some more pages he reached where Ishita was confessing about their salsa dance in Mihir engagement party. Excited he started reading.
- Main bhi to dekhoun kya sochti hain woh mere baare main!

18 May 2014
Raman my entertainment ki dukaan! Practicing Salsa like engaged in karate classes! Two left feet Raman is so despo to prove his mettle to me, the Salsa champion!
But he impressed me and how! First he was damn hot in that suit. I was so jealous seeing him getting so much attention and seeing him with that Shagun, had me fuming! And then, our Salsa together!
So near that I could feel his hot breath caressing my face.
I could see where it was going. His lips were dangerously close, inviting, and irresistible.
- Just kiss him and then say ayyo amma, sorry! haha!!

I was tempted to give in but I knew I had to keep myself under control. When i wanted to turn away to go, he had grabbed my arm n his eyes had stopped me. He cupped my face, caressing my left cheek with his thumb...all this dancing but we both knew there were no such steps in our salsa!
It was heavenly and I closed my eyes to calm the storm which was building inside me but thank God we managed to put a stop at it before that Romi embarrassed us with his cheap lines about doing Hollywood flick n all..

Raman blushed. Jhansi Ki Rani was maha chupa Rustom. She is definitely not as bholi as she looks. As he turned the pages, his eyes stopped at one particular line below a specific date.


18 May 2014

His deep sultry voice had whispered to me: "You are a desire I can't run from Ishita."
Leaning in closer with his body cradling me, he had said softly, "Nor will I try to."
He had reached his hand up and gently brushed a lock of my hair from my cheek. When his finger had trailed across me, he had left my skin burning with a deep wanting for him.
I wanted nothing more at that moment. I just wanted him to make me his.
His gaze was burning through me. I felt my heart ignite into a firestorm.
Am I his desire?
How could those dark eyes do so much to my body in a matter of seconds?
What would happen if our lips were to ever touch?
His body was pushing up against me. I was trembling uncontrollably. He was smirking, knowing very well that he was the sole cause of that too.
His breath deepened in my ear as his body tensed along mine, the passion we felt for each other filling the air around us. I was in a poised state of waiting.
Waiting for...his words.
Waiting for... his touch.
Waiting for...his kiss.

Running the palm of his hands along my waist, he rested them at the small of my back. I let out a small whimper that could not be helped and found myself stuttering:

" I..."

"Sshhh," he whispered back.

His lips grazed my neck so very softly almost as if being ticked by a passing breeze. He then trailed his gentle lips up to my ear and whispered, "You are beautiful..."
And... he was gone.
Ayyo!!
My first dream of him - Unrestrained, unleashed ...and since then every night he would whisper some wicked and naughty things in my ears and I would wake up blushing profusely!!


Raman's heart started racing. He felt it leap with joy!! Could it be that she was in love with...
Turning the pages, he reached to the place that has been marked with a pink ribbon. The date was that of today itself. "Oh that explained that crazy woman's weird behaviour..." Raman muttered to himself.



21 May 2014

I can no longer face him without my cheeks burning. As he gazes at me, all my fantasies from my dreams would play in my mind and I feel so foolish and ashamed. Sometimes it's as if they really happened when I gaze at him. It scares me. It draws me in. It consumes my thoughts and teases my senses of longing.
How am I to fight this?
To hide this?
How come am I so attracted to him when he...when there is high chance I leave him indifferent!
He has been very explicit about our marriage...Gosh he dares tell me in my face not to look for excuses to touch him!
Who tells this to a lady? Of course only Raman Kumar Bhalla!! I hate him!
Well I don't really!!! But I am not telling this to him. Better bury this secret in a very far corner of my heart, lock the cavity and throw away the key in space.
Tomorrow I will spend the day avoiding him and the next day also, and the next day too...
There is simply no other way.
For if I do not...I feel... no... I'm scared I will only be left with a broken heart because ...I have started dreaming. Dreaming of him, of me, of us as a family...


Ishita was chitchatting with Mihika on the bed but her mind was preoccupied about him.
Had he slept yet?
Ruhi wanted to sleep at her paati's and staying in the same room with him all alone was too dangerous with her hormones playing weird tricks these days.
She suddenly sat up and said, "My journal."
Jumping out of the bed, panic welling up within her, she rushed outside with a Mihika rolling her eyes and shouting after her - Akka!!
But she was gone. She knew she had left it on the window sill earlier in their bedroom and cursed herself for doing so.
When she opened the door of their bedroom, she stopped dead. She only managed a- Oh God...no! as Raman turned towards her with the journal in his hands.
She stood before him breathless...Her cheeks burning.
Realizing he has read it all, Ishita backed up from the doorway. He saw the embarrassment flooding her cheeks and her eyes all wide with shock and...terror. She turned away in an attempt to run towards the way she came.
- Wait Ishita, wait!
But she was too acutely embarrassed. Tossing the book onto the bed, Raman took off after her. Before she could open the main door, Raman caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm spinning her body towards him- Ishita, stop.
He saw the tears glistening in her beautiful eyes. He took her by the arm and dragged her to their room and shut the door behind him
Pushing against him, Ishita yelled too embarrassed and angry with herself
- Leave me!! I always knew you were without manners but today you crossed all limits. Reading somebody's personal diary...
He tightened his grip around her arm.
- Leave me Raman!
And... She finally pleaded:
- Please leave me!!
- I can't!
He had said that so softly that Ishita lifted her face to look in his eyes. She softened in his grasp as he continued, his gaze never leaving hers, loosening his grip further
- I won't...Not ever Ishita... Not in this lifetime.
And finally... he hugged her, not to show to Ruhi or Shagun or anybody else but because that was the place where she truly belonged.
He hugged never to let go as she hid her face in his chest.





My previous works:

Rekindled Pasion:

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4027822/os-rekindled-passion

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4028797/os-rekindled-passion-part-2

A New Beginning for IshRa:
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4010733/a-new-beginning-for-ishra

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4011887/a-new-beginning-for-ishra-part-2

Jealousy Works
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/ye-hai-mohabbatein/4020385/new-os-jealousy-works

AMAZING will be an understatement ...really ...so beautifully written ...there are very few writers who can make the reader see the visual through their words...u r certainly one of those rare ones...loved the way u started with Ravan Kumar's feelings and he is putting so much effort to hide them from his JKR ...how he found her behavior odd lately ...the idea of diary was a masterstroke ...it came as a pleasant surprise and changed the mood of the story..how beautifully u expressed her gradually changing feelings towards him ...so so so beautiful ...keep writing dear ...u r really a gifted writer 🤗❤️

awww beautiful confession ...

that was a really sweet one. do we get a part 2? :D

Awesome os...
Ishita is not so innocent as she seems...
Beautiful confession...

OMG just awesome! Loved reading it :)

awww jaaanuuu WHY R U SO EPIC PERFECT?ufff to quote u ur chars lines...UR STORIES ARE MY DESIRES I CANT RUN FROM,JAANU..

u hv totally totally got the soul of BOTH Raman n Ishita..for me THIS os by nw hv bcome the BEST ISHRA OS BY U......!!

u rock PARTNER..🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Originally posted by: Nikki_Titli

awww jaaanuuu WHY R U SO EPIC PERFECT?ufff to quote u ur chars lines...UR STORIES ARE MY DESIRES I CANT RUN FROM,JAANU..

u hv totally totally got the soul of BOTH Raman n Ishita..for me THIS os by nw hv bcome the BEST ISHRA OS BY U......!!

u rock PARTNER..🤗

Awww Nikki! Thank u. This OS is very special to me coz i loved to keep diary too when i was younger!😳
N In this one our Ishu too n i loved how she got busted just like me some years back!😆

OSJ, this is awesome piece of work!!!

Originally posted by: _Deepika_

AMAZING will be an understatement ...really ...so beautifully written ...there are very few writers who can make the reader see the visual through their words...u r certainly one of those rare ones...loved the way u started with Ravan Kumar's feelings and he is putting so much effort to hide them from his JKR ...how he found her behavior odd lately ...the idea of diary was a masterstroke ...it came as a pleasant surprise and changed the mood of the story..how beautifully u expressed her gradually changing feelings towards him ...so so so beautiful ...keep writing dear ...u r really a gifted writer 🤗❤️

One of my favourites on this forum first posting in my thread! 😛 N cherry on the cake so beautiful and warm comments jo sidhe mere dil ko ccchoo gaye!!🤗
Thank u.
If i get so awesome comments from ppl like u, how can i stop?😳