Separation Track: Collection of 7 OSes - Page 2

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Juggaadd thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#11
I like stories based on songs and "Mera kuch samaan" is one of my favouriate songs. Nice start. Would like to read further.
itsme_aish thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#12
Wow amazing⭐️..very beautifully written😊😊 That last eyelock that spoke volumes between them....You have depicted their state of mind so well dear👏.. pls continue😊😊
Nikki_Titli thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#13
awww lucky BRILLIANT update...by the time,i read the last line-evn automatically my eyes got lil teary...!!

seriouly heart touchin update...!!

plz conitnue soon...!!
suhaaana thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#14
U r a fab writer i just love this os
Bruce_L thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#15
Thanks for the PM
You emoted what they going through very well in your writing
EkPaheli thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#16
res
Edited

I am so loving this Lucky ... the other side of the coin... how Ishita too misses him and is angry with him at the same time this is so well written hats off to you

I cannot wait to see how you pick this up from where you have ended it. Especially because Ishita might sew on the button at Ruhi' insistence and that scene is a fav among us fans - also it will evoke the last happy memory they had before things blew up - so of course that's bound to make an impact of all sorts on them, it will be nostalgic, painful and wishful on so many levels!!

I really wanna see how Raman makes it upto her, convinces her and apologizes to her and what ultimately makes her forgive him, their reaction.

This has been the first acid test of their relationship and coming out of it unscathed though impossible and hard is the only way to make this relationship, this marriage stronger... dont all marriages face this issue someday? A huge problem that either tears you apart or brings you closer than ever!

Beautiful UD, cant wait to read whats next! 😊
Edited by EkPaheli - 11 years ago
creativeFF thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: always_a_TV_fan

Hi All,

First and the foremost, thanks to everyone who commented on my earlier SS and OS. Its only because of your comments that I had the inspiration and courage to begin this.


I am planning to write a list of scenarios (with some references to music that I enjoy), which I want to be a part of a longer story. I love the separation track (the one before the leads realise their ISHQ waala Love), because it gives us viewers a chance to see longing and love at the same time; and I am a sucker for 'ehsaas'.

What follows is a list of OSes. The first one is a prologue. (the story in my mind starts off sadly, but I WILLtry to make it happier). I dont yet know how many such scenes I will write, this hasnt been planned 😆

<font color="#CC6699">I am dedicating this to: @Indian_isha and @EkPaheli - i feel connected</font> 🤗

Please do let me know if you like this, and if you would like me to continue.


PROLOGUE:

My inspiration for the prologue is "Yeh Kya hua" from Amar Prem...

*****

It was stormy that night. Raman wondered why there were frequent storms in Delhi nowadays. He sadly thought to himself, "Upar waala deta hai to chappar phaadke deta hai". [When it rains, it pours]

It was exactly such a stormy night, more than a month ago. The night that brought a storm into his peaceful existence. The day that had started with so much promise and happiness, and had ended in darkness. He had just landed from Mumbai, wondering why such a sudden storm. He was eager to get home, to see the 2 women who had completely occupied his mind and heart in the recent past. His daughter: innocence personified, and his wife. He didnt yet know how else to describe Ishita. Yes, she was his wife in front of the whole world. But who was she to him really: the woman who helped him in a difficult time? the woman who gave his child the much needed maternal touch? The woman who filled her heart by helping others? How did one describe someone like her. Raman shaked off that uncomfortable feeling. He hadn't felt anything in six years,and it wasnt going to start now. He confirmed to himself that the only reason he was thinking about Ishita was because of the gratitude he felt for her. For making his life a more bearable. For providing his family stability. For making his daughter feel that she really had a set of parents who put her first. Yes, Ruhi was the reason. Then he smiled. "Who am I kidding, Ishita is the reason I am still in business. She is the reason I still have custody of my daughter. She is the reason my parents are happy. She is the reason I want to leave work and come back home. She is the reason I sleep so peacefully, without the need of alcohol. She is the reason my mornings start with a pleasant feeling. She is the reason my life is not a chore any more".

"Arre bhaiyya, kucch bologe bhi ki nahin??? kahin jaana nahi hai to mera time kharaab mat karo, main doosra customer dhoondta hoon". [oy, talk to me, if you dont want to get anywhere, dont waste my time, I'll look for another customer]Raman dragged himself out of his thoughts when he heard that. He then realised the taxi driver was talking to him... "Oh, haan... sorry bhaiyya, woh sar mein dard ho raha tha", he said, hand instintively on his heart. He gave the taxi driver his address, and then started looking through his phone for his emails. He was back in another world, where work mattered the most.

What awaited him at home was something he never imagined. His life changed. Exactly like the way his day had. From a sunny Mumbai to a stormy Delhi. His won business deal didnt matter any more. The lost look on Ashok's face didnt matter any more. Neither did the regret on Shagun's face. What happened to him that night was something he could never have imagined. That was the first night in a long time that made him feel like he needed a drink. He had promised Ruhi he wouldnt, but if there was ever a day to break promises, this was it. He wanted to get drunk. He wanted to be numb. He wanted to feel nothing. Yes, thats what he wanted; to feel nothing. Life had been so cruel to him. It was like someone was suffocating him with a rag deep down in his mouth, and then dragging the rag out just before he died. Making him think he was alive; just before the rag was stuffed into his mouth again.
The next few hours were surreal. He did not know what to think. For the first time in his life, he wished he was powerless. He wished he was a supporting character in his own movie. He wished no one bore their eyes into him. Not his mother with her tears of sadness. Not his sister with tears of anger. Not Ishita, with tears of disappointment. He did not know what to do, how to react. He knew in his heart that Ishita could never be doubted. But he had been burnt before. "Wasnt this the same room, where I chided my father for being harsh on Shagun? and look where it got me". With that thought in his mind and the blaring SMSes in front of him, he had blurted out, "How does Param know that we dont share any relationship?". He looked at her with surprise, more than accusation. And thats when he knew he had messed up big time. There was no coming back from there. The look in her eyes was not disappointment any more. It was lost hope. And that wasnt something he could rectify, no matter how much power he had.

A thunderstorm brought him back to the present. It had been a few days since he had seen her. In the last month everything had changed. The normalcy that had appeared in the Bhalla household was lost again. Param had fled. Simmi was desolute. Mummyji had retracted, and papaji was just mad at him. He knew he could fix his parents, he may even be able to make Simmi see the truth. But how would he bring Ishita back to him? How would he make her believe that he had trusted her from day one?

SInce that fateful night, he had seen her a few times. But that's all it was. Him seeing her. Nothing else. She looked at him only becuase he was in her line of view, not because she wanted to see him. She looked through him, like he didnt matter any more. Like THEY didnt matter any more. He'd tried to talk to her, apologise to her. She'd curtly replied, "I am talking to you only because Ruhi is watching. I dont want her to think there is anything wrong between us. But between you and me, we are DONE."

When he got off the taxi, he said to himself "WE are not done!'



<font color="#CC3399" size="4">Links to updates</font>:

OS # 2 : Mera Kucch Saaman[

luv the way you recalled him supporting shagun blindly. but that it wasnt right. a new point of view from ramans place.
BR]

serendipity. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#18
AAAH! This is so beautiful! ❤️
Absolutely loved it yaar! Both the parts! <3
Cant wait for you to continue! 😃
candico thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#19
beautiful ... waiting for ur next update
_Deepika_ thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#20
beautiful piece of writing...loved the way u expressed their emotions

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