My theory on why Adi has a problem with Ishita but not Ashok

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

I have seen many posts question asking why Adi has a problem with Raman's wife Ishita but not with Shagun's boyfriend Ashok.

Although they haven't revealed this yet, this is my theory based on some things they have shown and the characters we are dealing with:

Keep in mind that a person acts consistent with their beliefs whether conscious or sub conscious.

Young kids don't get the concept of married vs living together in the same way adults do. So Adi may not judge it as wrong in the same moral way some adults do especially depending how it was explained to him.

When Shagun left with Ashok, I suspect he was told by ApShagun that Raman was treating his mother badly, possibly beating her. Remember the FB scene where Adi fell down the stairs after Raman got angry with him for cheating. So Shagun probably presented Ashok as a saviour - someone who saved her and Adi. While Raman was now the bad guy. She had already been filling his brain with that Raman couldn't meet his needs. Note, Ashok is very careful about how he talks to Adi.

Shortly after Raman was given Ruhi's custody after marrying Ishita, Adi was brought back and calls Raman to sign papers to change his name to Aditya Ashok something (can't remember his surname) on the pretext of some travel plans. How ApShagun probably got him to do this is by probably by telling him that ..See now that your dad is married, the courts will also give him your custody and you won't be able to live your mum and she will be alone and Ishita will treat you badly. Ashok tried to padavafy a similar patti with Ruhi. He knows Raman's, Ruhi's, Adi's and Shagun's sore nerves and shamelessly uses them for his agenda.

So of course at the holi event, he is afraid for himself as well as of losing his real fathers love which he still craves. For him this is another rejection/abandonment by Raman. Then Ishita gets angry to him about the Bhang. Then he sees the altercation between Simmi-Ishita-Shagun and thinks his mother is being treated like shit by Raman's wife. Well he has to protect her and he loves Raman subconsciously so he can't be the villain, so Adi now conveniently makes Ishita the bad guy and blames her for all his problems.

These are my thoughts... What are yours?

Edited by eternalasha - 11 years ago

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aadk

@aadk

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

A logical post eternalasha :) According to me,Adi' behaviour can be deconstructed to two basic reasons - 1.He perceives the person Ashok as someone who saved his mother from the clutches of his cruel and harsh father Raman.The very image of Ashok is that of a saviour who got Shagun and Aditya out of their miserable lives(as brainwashed by Shagun) at the Bhalla house.2.Shagun once again has played a pivotal role in moulding the priorities of her son.Just like his mother,he finds happiness in materialistic pleasures.He comes across as a child who knows the price of everything,but the value of nothing.Shagun' influence over him has made him very much the person that she is.And who was the provider of al these pleasures to the lady and the child?Ashok!So either of the reasons go on to display Ashok' brighter side to Aditya. Somewher Aditya still craves for Raman' love,but it would take time before he actualy understands Raman.Its just a matter of time before he realises things on his own.

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serendipity.

@serendipity.

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

WOW! This was much needed, and what a wonderful post! Everything makes sense, ive thougt along the same lines a lot of times, and i agree! :)

Just like they say Raman is a complex character, his son, Adi is too, and its all because of these circumstances the kid has had to go through... Having said this, i still believe, that his behaviour, is not at all justified. I dont second his attitude towards his Mom/Dad OR his Mom's boyfriend. I know he is shown to love his mom and Ashok and everything, but he is extremely spoilt. His attitude is so bpolar, on one side he believes the pain of his mom (though fake) on the other side he is mean to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD including his dad, and the few friends we saw that had come on his bday party. He doesnt seem to be 11 from any angle.

What puts me to thinking and makes me curious is how will he realise his dad's love for him. HOW is he going to be tamed by Ishita? I mean to him Shagun isnt wrong, and even if she is, she hasnt done anything unfair with Adi, always wanted to give him the best and HAS... she actually lef Raman not just for her own needs but so that her kid could get the best... so will he ever even go against Shagun? Shagun has spoilt him with lots of love and materialistic stuff, but the LOVE that shes given him... and the LOVE that a child needs, is different... I cant wait for them to show this portrayal.

Again, back to the topic, i DO NOT connect with the kid, and NEVER can... they shouldve instead shown an introvert, emotional child... the way Adi is portrayed is creepy. Hes too mean to be a kid. Its inhuman. But the reasons youve given, head to toe, absolutely make sense, and whenever i would come to comprehend it, the same points would linger in front :)

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Wafah

@Wafah

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: serendipity.
WOW! This was much needed, and what a wonderful post! Everything makes sense, ive thougt along the same lines a lot of times, and i agree! :)
Just like they say Raman is a complex character, his son, Adi is too, and its all because of these circumstances the kid has had to go through... Having said this, i still believe, that his behaviour, is not at all justified. I dont second his attitude towards his Mom/Dad OR his Mom's boyfriend. I know he is shown to love his mom and Ashok and everything, but he is extremely spoilt. His attitude is so bpolar, on one side he believes the pain of his mom (though fake) on the other side he is mean to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD including his dad, and the few friends we saw that had come on his bday party. He doesnt seem to be 11 from any angle.

What puts me to thinking and makes me curious is how will he realise his dad's love for him. HOW is he going to be tamed by Ishita? I mean to him Shagun isnt wrong, and even if she is, she hasnt done anything unfair with Adi, always wanted to give him the best and HAS... she actually lef Raman not just for her own needs but so that her kid could get the best... so will he ever even go against Shagun? Shagun has spoilt him with lots of love and materialistic stuff, but the LOVE that shes given him... and the LOVE that a child needs, is different... I cant wait for them to show this portrayal.

Again, back to the topic, i DO NOT connect with the kid, and NEVER can... they shouldve instead shown an introvert, emotional child... the way Adi is portrayed is creepy. Hes too mean to be a kid. Its inhuman. But the reasons youve given, head to toe, absolutely make sense, and whenever i would come to comprehend it, the same points would linger in front :)

I know in terms of a kid that feels like a foreign concept, but just because he's mean doesn't mean he's not a kid or vice versa. Having dealt with different kids in my jobs there are kids of all sorts. The way Aditya behaves is more closer to how someone would react in his teen years but again age is not necessary indicator of behavior. Aditya has never been scolded by by Shagun and has always gotten his way. This has built on his self centeredness. He's very much egoistic and self centered. Kids grow and learn from example. If you look at the way Shagun and Ashok treat others around them its makes perfect sense. Both Shagun and Ashok look down on others who are not at their level. They both need their egoes constantly buttered.

In fact Adi being an introvert, emotional child would have not made sense especially being raised under the influence of Ashok and Shagun. Shagun and Ashok don't value emotions and have done nothing but fill Aditya with anger and resentment. Honestly the hatred building in Aditya over time can take him to a very dark place even at a very young age. Kids in fact are the easiest to brainwash because they are at their developing stage. If Shagun really knew how to love her kid she wouldn't do that to him. Ashok doesn't care and is using Aditya as a pawn. The longer his hatred and resentment builds and festers the darker place he will go to. Add to that the fact that Aditya is used to having his way...and its a very bad combination and toxic environment for a kid to be growing up.

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@aadk. Thank you. You explained the reason for Adi's behaviour very succinctly. Plus I like the very aptly way pointed out that "he knows the price of everything but the value of nothing". This is what his mother know and what she taught him. Ashok and Shagun have consistently shown only the brighter side of Ashok.

I look forward to the time to understand his father. Even with all his faults, and on his worst day Raman is head and foot above the "6ft Do inch lambu"

Edited by eternalasha - 11 years ago

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@serendipidity. I always make a point of reading your posts and comments and so appreciate your saying so. Also love your handle serendipity.

Absolutely agree, regardless of the reason for his behaviour, his attitude towards his mom, dad and Ashok shouldn't be condoned. As you also say he probably has not experienced the kind of love a child needs an craves.

It really is unfair that they have portrayed the kid as villainous and creepy... It is is hard to watch him let alone connect with him. Seems like the CVs may have missed the boat on this one... It's too bad... There was a potential to portray the emotions of a kid in a divorce/custody situation.

Edited by eternalasha - 11 years ago

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

@Wafah. Thank you. You seem to be very experienced with kids which I am not and you make some great points.

Love the point about... Just because he/she is a kid it doesn't imply he/she is not mean.

It also struck me that Adi behaved more like a teenager. The only time he looked more his age was when Raman was putting rang on Ishita and Adi was watching from the bushes and seemed to be crying until he put on his angry avatar.

Adi was brought up in a toxic environment especially in terms of treating others and being used as pawn. This could be very harmful for him in the long run. Even Raman pointed out that Shagun is poisoning her son. He has grown up reflecting the environment he was brought up in.

Edited by eternalasha - 11 years ago

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Sarah Kelly

@arjunadisidpari

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

I completely agree with whatever you have to say! A very very much needed post :P

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: kushalkidewaani
I completely agree with whatever you have to say! A very very much needed post :P

Thank you for reading and appreciating.

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aimf

@aimf

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Asha

This is a great and very thoughtful post. You have raised a number of pertinent points about the reasons for the displacement of Adi's anger. Your post inspired me to respond by addressing issues of parenting.

There are many styles of parenting, and each style has its own problems that affect the psyche of the child.

The Tiger Parent: A very strict and protective parent who criticizes the off-spring with the goal of making him/her work harder and not get a swollen head over small (according to the parent) achievements. Mrs. Iyer embodies this kind of parenting a bit, but in a healthy way.

The Helicopter Parent: Hovers noisily around the child at all times, interfering in all its activities, without really giving the child the opportunity to explore the world, to make mistakes and discover its capacity for responding an array of situations and personalities.

The Permissive Parent: This is the parent, with whom anything goes. Usually there is guilt on parent of the parent either for being busy with their own affairs or for somehow neglecting the child, and therefore the permissive behavior is an overcompensation for the guilt. Shagun models this kind of parenting, where Adi has the freedom to do whatever he wants. This is partly a way for her to overcome the guilt of putting him in a hostel.

The Desperate Parent: This is a parent, who for various reasons, wishes to befriend the child instead of parenting it. This is a desperate and complicated style of parenting. In fact, there is no parenting really involved, as one's desperation to have the child be close to oneself overrides discipline and setting of firm boundaries, which are an essential component of child-rearing. The child, consequently learns to exploit situations to its own advantage. We can see Raman, in this category, where his desire to have Adi in his life at all costs has obscured his vision. He fails to see Adi for what he really is --a brainwashed child who has turned to use emotional blackmail as a survival mechanism.

The Exploitative Parent: One who has no compunction to make use of the child as a tool for gaining what one wants. It is not so much about the child, but about the needs of the adult. Children from such homes learn to be exploitative and manipulative in return, as they need to protect themselves. Of course Ashok jumps to mind as an text book example of this kind of parenting, with his materialistic bribes, and his toxic raising of Adi to do his bidding, but is Raman really far behind? Raman too is wanting Adi as part of a wager to slight Ashok. The poor kid is not just a pawn of the broken marriage of RaGun, but also a pawn in ego-battle between Ashok and Raman.

Adi is a product not only of a bitter divorce, but an ongoing battle of egos. Even his own father does not appear to understand that if he does not mend his ways, Aditya will be the first serious casualty in embattled egos competing with each other for one-upmanship and supremacy. Not only is he brainwashed for others' selfish ends, but his smouldering anger is displaced in the place where it is the safest, and where he does not have to fear any repurcussions --that is, on Ishita.

Edited by aimf - 11 years ago