I am sorryI am impressed, though not surprised that you chose such a mature and important topic. It is insightful and thoughtful to pen it from the point of view of the person most people shun and blame. Truly in some cases, it isn't the person's decision at all, but the pressure felt from that very society that then rebukes the person. I loved that you illuminated this issue, in this way so that people are more aware of certain facts, and therefore less inclined to judge.
I loved the lines, "Although I have been told to do the opposite, Yet I just fell in love with you." which you placed in the first verse. It sets the poignant tone and highlights the cruelness of a world that 'preaches' hate as a tool for peace. How can the world be better with less love in it? If you rid a mother's love for a child, then the world becomes a little darker, won't it? Of course her love remains but to remove its manifestation in this world, will undoubtedly affect it adversely, especially if you consider that you are replacing that 'couple' with a single, sole people who has 'died a little' too, for as you say, that child was "
A part that completed me."
"
Making my womb barren" I found the use of the word 'barren' very sharp. It is almost shocking, catching our attention. If you had used 'empty' it would point towards the current state of affairs as well as connotations of loneliness and loss BUT 'barren' reminds us also of what once was, a place where things used to grow or even where they are supposed to grow instead of being cut from their roots. Excellently done.
"
And the world around me shrinks." I loved this line. One thing about this world, is that it has the capacity to inspire us, to leave us in awe. A child like wonder that as adults we tend to lose. However it is exacerbated when people are a part of that change, or as you say 'shrinkage.' I love how the word, 'shrink' also enhances the point that as the world loses its charm, and instead of finding reasons to hold on, you find yourself at a 'distance,' as it shrinks away from you, smaller and smaller. Excellent.
"If only you were here,To witness the grief, I go through" As expected, you always capture nuances of emotions that some seldom write about, because they are rarely noted. It isn't just the guilt she may feel from 'allowing this to happen' BUT also she yearns for 'vindication.' She wants or rather hopes, that the baby would understand her grief as they lay testament to her true feelings. She is grief stricken because she has been overwhelmed by feelings that penetrate every part of her being. It isn't surface emotions that pass over like a wave, crashing and dissipating. She is affected, infected and she wants her pain to be a proof against any malice upon her part.
THEN the biggest shock..."I had conceived a girl,And that was my biggest sin." It wasn't some child conceived out of wedlock, a conventional or universal reason that people fear 'shame' nor a child with ill health but something more sadder. The baby was rejected because of gender. I loved how you bring this in past the half way mark. We first relate to her plight through her pain, her guilt, her need for absolution and now we understand the injustice of it all. If you had begun with this issue, we might have not 'felt' those nuances of emotions felt by the mother, as they are overshadowed by this 'social comment.' True, it isn't something to be ignored but neither are her feelings, their many layers.
Then a 'twist' as you chose a side to paint her portrait. "
That I chose them over you." I won't lie, I was really shocked. Shocked that I had felt pity for someone who in the end chose not to fight. It elicited many emotions from me; would I now rescind the empathy, my sympathy just because she made a choice that was repugnant to me? As my mind turns over thoughts, you add layers and layers "
But before a mother, I am a wife." It is testament to your wonderful skills as writer that you can create layers, nuances within a character and there from create friction, of an intensity that burns not just heats up our blood, that burning that leaves a bitterness in my blood.
I screamed, I shouted but moreso I struggled. I realized, I can not judge her, I can not hate her just because she made a choice I find difficult to accept. This new twist does not invalidate all the emotions she felt, and I felt before this revelation. As much as I accepted those, I must accept this one too. You are an extraordinary writer. I am in awe at how you are able to sway us one way, then in one move turn everything around so I that you force us to think.
"Loving that, (picture of a young girl) is easy, it's like loving a puppy."
One of my favourite quotes, from a fictional character on how parents find it easier to love and show that love to children when compared to their adult versions. So if I could love her, show her compassion before, why aren't I able to show her compassion now, after being made aware of her weaknesses. Mahak, just superb! Really just an excellent composition.
Then that end note, something to soothe us as much as her own balm.
Though maybe some things can not be forgiven, I would proffer the sentiment that forgiveness is never cheap. It is weighty and for some people precious, priceless.
I understand that some people in this situation would find it hard if not impossible to forgive her, and though I am quite unforgiving upon occasion, I would say that her asking for forgiveness, through opening up that door to such a hope, I respect her.
Most people can not break their ego to even ask.
Mahak, each new piece of yours, (though I know this one is older) I am impressed, in awe of your ability to paint from a palette of colours most have never imagined let alone seen.
OUTSTANDING!
With love, Sabah
Edited by a little faith - 13 years ago
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