Serendipity - one shot

Serendipity

It was love at first sight, although admittedly, not quite for the first time. But Neha wasn't one to count or rank "loves." Love was just love, not to be confined or categorized or controlled, or worse still, rationalized. It was simply there to be lived, and its magic believed in and celebrated, without any conditions or expectations. Like life. To other people, Neha was naive. To Neha, others were unnecessarily complicated.

She excitedly memorized every detail of what had just happened as the red-heart-clutching white teddy bears on the shelves smiled, winking at each other mischievously.

It was all so romantic, and all so perfectly timed, as though predestined.

Barely an hour ago, for no reason she could fathom then, she had decided to bunk her last lecture and go on one of her random walks.

Everyone judged her ways crazy, but she never questioned her instincts. Random walks to her were not a hobby or even a habit; they were a way of life she abided by with utmost faith, because she knew she would discover the reason behind the "randomness" sooner or later. Neha believed that coincidences were hardly ever accidents, and often found herself to be proven right.

Her steps that day led her to a supermarket. And there, in the aisle especially devoted for Valentine's Day gifts, just as Enrique's 'Hero' started playing on the supermarket's loudspeakers, he walked by and caught her eye.

He.

He was short, pale and average-looking. Yet, there was something that drew her to him. Maybe it was his eyes, bright and kind behind thin blue-framed spectacles. Maybe it was his warm and genuine smile. Or maybe it was just the way he seemed, content, at peace. Like someone who valued life and every moment thereof. Neha liked people like that because she found herself reflected in them.

And when he talked, she knew that it was his sincere heart that made him so magnetic.

"Hey, can you help me?" he said to her, politely, with a cute, endearingly embarrassed air, "I need to buy something for my girlfriend for Sunday, you know, Valentine's Day, and I have no idea how to go about..you know? I've never - Sorry. If you don't mind, that is."

"Sure!" Neha chirped cheerfully, "How about this mug? It's adorable. You can fill it with lots of tiny chocolates, and give it to her ...umm, along with ... a hand-made bouquet!"

"Hand-made?"

"There are these beautiful lilies on the other side of the mountain! I have plucked them before. There is nobody to stop you. And listen, don't be nervous. She'll be very happy, I'm sure!"

"You know, you're, you're simply wonderful. Thank you. I love you!"

Neha smiled and he went away with the mug.

Yes, it was love at first sight, and definitely not for the last time.

I think there could have been a little more detail, You know, I mean about how the whether was that day, and where they were, and you could have explained how the mug looked like, I really don't mean to sound rude, a little more detail would be good, but i liked it, I loved Neha's character, a sweet, bubbly heroine, overall I think it's a nice start, You could have given the boy more detail though, you know whether he seemed young or old, or something like that, so basically all you have to do is add a little more detail, and then your good to go, I'm sorry if I sound you know… rude, but as I writer remember this, criticism makes us better, and praise makes are head bigger, I guess you feel weird taking advice from some random stranger on the net seven seas away.. Anyway back to your story, I liked it, just remember to add detail, and it'll be great.

Okay that was a long, long review, I just feel happy today I guess.

<3 Hala

Very cute Hema! She lives life in her own eccentric way. I think that you purposefully did not add much description to the boy's character - you wanted it to be "uncontrolled" and "irrational." It's something that comes and goes. It wasn't the first time that it happened nor will it be the last.

Originally posted by: 090909as

I think there could have been a little more detail, You know, I mean about how the whether was that day, and where they were, and you could have explained how the mug looked like, I really don't mean to sound rude, a little more detail would be good, but i liked it, I loved Neha's character, a sweet, bubbly heroine, overall I think it's a nice start, You could have given the boy more detail though, you know whether he seemed young or old, or something like that, so basically all you have to do is add a little more detail, and then your good to go, I'm sorry if I sound you know' rude, but as I writer remember this, criticism makes us better, and praise makes are head bigger, I guess you feel weird taking advice from some random stranger on the net seven seas away.. Anyway back to your story, I liked it, just remember to add detail, and it'll be great.

Okay that was a long, long review, I just feel happy today I guess.

<3 Hala

Originally posted by: nanshr

Very cute Hema! She lives life in her own eccentric way. I think that you purposefully did not add much description to the boy's character - you wanted it to be "uncontrolled" and "irrational." It's something that comes and goes. It wasn't the first time that it happened nor will it be the last.

Very well written! Story is nice.👏

Keep writing..

Keep up the gud work..


Hey frn, i also have tried to write story called "Footprint" n "Whispers From Within" n poem Life is BEautiful". Plz give some feed back. (all positive n negative (constructive) coments are most welcome.

God Bless u n keep in touch alys..