Originally posted by: allweois
Setting and Characters: The chapter takes place in a hospital and features characters like Bhumi, Prem, Dhanraj, and Vidur. It's established that Prem has been involved in an accident and is in critical condition.
Dramatic Elements: The dialogue between characters, especially Dhanraj's misunderstanding of "internal bleeding," adds tension to the scene. The emotional turmoil and confusion of the characters are apparent, especially Bhumi's distress over Prem's condition.
Emotions and Conflict: The emotional distress and concern of the characters are evident, giving the reader insight into their relationships and struggles. There's tension between Dhanraj and DB, and Bhumi's internal conflict is established through her prayer at the temple.
Foreshadowing: The snippets from future chapters hint at future conflicts and developments, such as Dhanraj's questioning of his experiences and Bhumi's reluctance to meet Vidur face-to-face.
Writing Style: The writing style leans towards emotional expression, showcasing the characters' feelings and inner thoughts. The use of short sentences and dialogue helps move the story forward swiftly.
Cringey Dialogues: While you mentioned that the dialogues might be cringey, it's essential to balance emotional expression with realistic dialogue. The dialogue can be improved by focusing on natural conversation while maintaining emotional impact.
I was just skimming through the forum and saw this post. Dude, with all respect and admiration - please write a fic!!! 
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