Posted:
I am a marathon runner a national champion...I am Chakor and this is my story!
As a child I was tormented by Suraj, he took every opportunity to hurt me
On my re-entry to Azadgunj - not much had changed - he still looked for ways to torment me...flirted with me, hinted at my sister being his wafadhaar kutha, hurt my friend Aditya, ridiculed Vivaan, was a crook, made shady deals, abused the villagers, tried to botch my career, tried to kill his father, made a baby with my sister, took a bullet for her, manipulated and tricked me into marrying him,...in all shattered me...and left me broken. Everyone hated me - my parents, Vivaan, my sister, villagers, I was alone - I stayed with my husband for the sake of my sister
While married to him - I realized what I'd always suspected, was indeed true - he loved my sister...he just had not realized it. I stumbled upon stashed away pics of my sister...other things gave it away as well. He realized his love for my sister while almost raping me. He forced me to stay with him. He used me to get money and fame. I did everything he wanted.
He loved my sister...he took a beating to get her favourite ice-cream during her pregnancy, drooled over pics of their baby, saved her pregnancy from Ranjana, mourned his lost love, wept on his mother's lap over his lost love. We were married...he loved my sister and used me.
He always compared her favorably over me...he has publicly praised her as a good wife and ridiculed me at the same time. Still - I defended him...as his actions were somewhat justified on account of newly realized love for my sister. In spite of my own pain and loss of reputation, I understood his vulnerability on the day of Vivaan Imli's marriage celebration and let my guard down to help him. I stopped him from committing a murder and tried to be a wife.
My husband, by deception, sent me out of the house and declared his love for my sister, his brother's wife with romantic lights at night. He was devastated when she refused. He was very jealous of her husband Vivaan and took to alcohol and other women. I was witness to his pain. I tried to help him - but he threw me - his wife, whom he cheated into marrying...out of the house with no apology for anything that he had done to me.
He dragged me to my parents house and demanded a divorce. I gave him one and moved on.
KN came back for vengence and had Imli and me stand on the shoulders of the men. My husband was more concerned about my sister's life than mine. He was ready to let me die but was not willing to risk her life even at her request. I broke my finger - to save the life of my husband's mother and the others. I witnessed in my husband a deep regret for the cheer haran done to my sister at her own request...and thought to myself...does he even remember the almost marital rape.
KN wanted to kill my husband - I was married to him and felt I owed my husband my support - so I went back to my husband...became his shield and stayed with him in spite of his reluctance. He did not appreciate my support on account of his ego - but took it anyway. I defended him everytime he was criticised (press etc)
I slowly accepted my fate for the sake of everyone. My husband seemed to change. It was an interesting time...I got to see glimpses of niceness in my husband. My father in law tried to discredit me and succeeded. KN destroyed my career and wanted to kill my husband. By this time I was so involved in my husband's life that I gave up my career to focus on him. He was made a bandua - I suffered torture alongside him. Our relationship grew. Suraj needed me and I was there for him. He had no one else. He showed me he cared. I finally saved him.
All this proximity drew us closer. I fell in love with him. I accepted him knowing he had a physical relationship with my sister and a baby with her. I was insecure - especially since my sister always seemed to re-iterate her prior relationship with my husband. I went ahead and confessed my love to him. He reciprocated...but did not clarify his relationship with my sister or his prior love for her. We spent half the time talking about how happy he was for my sister and the baby. He was so excited for the baby. When he registered my agitation on account of Vivaan's truth - he became really nervous...almost appeared scared and worried.
Little did I know - he had spent an entire night in the car with my sister cuddled up in the back seat - talking about their child and how it would have been if they had married...gazing into each others eyes...so lost that they were sleeping on each others shoulders...this based on an eye-witness at the scene. Moreover he had lied to me about their positions in the car.
Then all hell broke loose. Vivaan freaked out as can be expected. I know while I was away making money for my husband to fulfill his promise to Pakhi...my sister's husband saw something that convinced him that my husband and sister were romantically involved...I questioned my husband and he did not explain ...just got angry and brushed me off. I trusted my husband and stood by him, supported him against my own parents. I took care of Imli...but it seemed like both Imli and my husband were always asking about each other. My sister did not want my care and ran away.
It happened then. My husband claimed in front of the whole village that my sister was carrying his child. I did not mind...some ego loss was ok to protect my sister. I smiled encouragingly at him. Then came realization that I had it all wrong. My husband did not want to hide it anymore - he wanted to tell everyone about him and Imli. He swore on my head in front of the entire village that Imli was carrying his child. He did not care how I felt - he went on to hug and carry her and took her away.
He brought my sister by clutching her hand tightly into my house...where I brought him to stay after saving him...even though I forbid it...he did not care about my feelings...he did not even see how I was reacting...he was more interested in defending my sister and making sure she was safely tucked away and comfortable. Does he even love me..does not seem that way.
He told me the baby was his mistake and not my sister's...he was full aware of what he was doing and it was not a mistake...he was not drunk...like my sister had narrated. I realized it then...my sister and my husband were both trying to protect each other and I was the third wheel in this equation. Like an idiot I was trying to make excuses for my husband...desperate to clutch at any straw to save me from pain...but no...two people I trusted and loved were telling me it was not so. I was devastated and left my house after telling my husband to go to my sister.
My husband is my sister's knight in shining armor - when her own husband interacts with her - my husband stands up to defend her uncaring of how it would look to me or her husband - even though he knows how sensitive I am of my sister...he does not care about me. He accepts my sister's child is his and then punches my sister's husband when he clearly calls out the relationship for what it is based on my husbands own confession. It's like my husband says I slept with your wife but you cannot insult your wife and call her characterless...even though I will stay with her in your house in my room 🤢 My husband touches and caries my sister for no good reason. In the midst of all this anguish and chaos, I see my sister and my husband on my bed...laughing over some cutesy head banging play...so engrossed in each other they cannot see me
I could file charges and throw my husband in jail...but love prevails...it's my sister and my husband. I decide to let them be happy and file for divorce and lick my wounds in private...and you know what...my husband refuses me one. He wants his child, his mistress my sister and me in the same room. What is he thinking - a threesome?? Sadistic behavior. He can't let me sister go...but needs me to stay. And he thinks its all right. Forget the cheating - this is now being Insensitive and stupid. Did I really fall for this man...what did I see in him? My parents and his mother stand up for me - and my husband tells them this is between us..a married couple. But he feels free to interfere between my sister and her husband. Double standards. My name for him - Pakhandi is again justified..Hypocritical behavior.
I decide to give him one more chance. What can i say...I am a sucker for punishment and I still love him...my love makes me weak. I ask my sister to leave my bedroom as the price of not proceeding with the divorce. Reasonable one would think...what does my husband do ...he holds my sisters hand and brings her back in to our bedroom. I deserve this insult.
Even though my sister cries buckets and says my husband loves me, she won't leave him alone ...she never leaves the house and holds on to my husband for everything..her baby is her priority...not my happiness or marriage. She calls him and he goes running every single time. She will never change...selfish to the core.
I gave him every chance to restore my self respect but every single time he chose my sister.
I filed for divorce,, insisted on it and got it. Finally something that I could control. I'm devasted but at least I can now breathe and start to move on.
My ex-husband cannot let me live in peace. He follows me and says no one can come between us, what about how he let my sister come in-between us and destroyed my life. I ignore his taunts...he attacks from another front...on my keeping his mangalsutra. He thinks I'm sad...the understatement of it all...has no clue how devastated I am, He called me crazy in court and unfit to live with.
I gave Suraj my all and he chose my sister over me. I continue now on the rest of my journey alone again...like I started. I feel lost and no one's #1 priority in life. Bapu says I'm strong and that God has a special reward for me. I should trust him and move on and see what life will bring next.
Personal note - I'm glad about the current track...I hope Chakor gives Ajay a chance and explores this relationship further..whatever it may be friendship or love...and I hope she makes Suraj stay out of it firmly. I'm happy for this track to move slowly.
Suraj should take Imli out of emotional abuse to Lucknow for a while and take care of her per the doctor's advise. After all he does not want Imli to lose the child now does he?
Thanks Nimmi for your feedback :) Always love reading your writing. I usually never make posts - but the story has just annoyed me for so long - writing this was very cathartic.
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