Posted:
DISH KITSCH
If marital rapes, Ansh and Sasha's villainous acts, children born as a result of rape and Tulsi's Mother India act dominated the idiot box in 2004, this year promises a lot more absurdities. From a spanking new Tulsi in Kyunki, Parvati bhabhi's tryst with the revolver in Kahaani, Kashish's third marriage in KTH, to Ansh's rebirth as Nandini's son, the soap dish will get kitschier as Ekta Kapoor and Co let their imagination run wild in a bid to capture your eyeballs. Neha Mathur crystal gazes into what lies ahead on the idiot box this year
If the killer-tsunami rattled you, brace yourself for another one.
Only this one wouldn't be relayed for its numbing shock value in
news capsules and documentaries or appeals to raise funds before the world moves on to another disaster. It will be beamed into our homes all through 2005 as we sit plonked in front of the idiot box having our dinner. The casualty figure wouldn't be 156,000 and still counting, but our collective intelligence. Like we have done year after year, we shall brush our sanity under the carpet and dumb down ourselves to become avid consumers of soaps that are poised to become more mentally challenged than ever before.
Heralding the era of dumb and dumber will, as usual, be soap queen
Ekta Kapoor as her scriptwriters and creative heads relentlessly
churn out unimaginable absurdities, viciousness, vitriol and gore.
Blueprints for convolutions in the plots of TRP toppers of Star
Plus, Sony and Zee have already been drawn, with several serials
getting a whole new look in 2005. Here's a look at the absurdities
you can expect:
Your idiot box will play host to at least two inexplicable marriages this year. Kahin To Hoga's Kashish will tie the knot for the third time - this time with Sujal's stepbrother Swayam! She will do this in spite of falling in love with Sujal, after finding out that he did not kill her ex-husband Piyush. Here's how KTH scriptwriter Anil Nagpal explains the twist in Kashish's rather fertile marital life: "We are planning this to make KTH a fast-paced show in which things happen spontaneously."
The other knot that is expected to send shock waves through a gaping audience is that of Kyunki's Shobha with Abhishek, who aided the killing of her husband Vishal. What's more, they will also have a child!
Tulsi's Mother India act will have ripple effect in the Balaji
stable. If Smriti Iraani can do it, can Sakshi Tanwar be far behind?
Tanwar shall be pulling the trigger in Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii on her
nephew Machchan. Like Tulsi, she will land up in jail, but will come out unscathed from the fracas. Mercifully, 2004's biggest villains - Ansh and Sasha will be given a proper burial this year. While Ansh will be cremated in the second week of January, Sasha will be confined to a mental asylum after his girlfriend Monika dumps him!
Says he, "I will be madly in love with Monika but she will turn
against me because of a chain of events. That will drive me mad."
But lest you think that the cup of woes of the numero uno telly
bahus - Tulsi and Parvati will stop overflowing after this, think
again. Post Ansh, evil will storm into Tulsi's life in the form of
Mohini, her son Harsh's muse. With this, Harsh will be the fifth of
Tulsi's children to have trouble erupt in his love life! And Parvati bhabhi will soon have to cope with the machinations of Sasha's girlfriend Monika. But even after Monika exits from Kahaani, Parvati's Ayodhya will continue to remain Kurukshetra, as a sordid secret from her past will be unearthed to wreak havoc on the Aggarwal parivaar. Says Kiran Karmarkar, Parvati's significant other half, "We have no clue about this secret from Parvati's past. The scriptwriters don't tell us things in advance. The plots keep
changing depending upon the availability of the stars."
Now, for the trail of 'rape' babies. As if Kyunki's Harsh and K
Street Pali Hill's Smriti hadn't exhausted our reservoir of
compassion for children conceived as a result of rape, Kyunki's
Nandini will discover that Ansh impregnated her with rape. Once
again, her romance with Karan will take a backseat, as the perennial damsel in distress will deliberate upon whether she should marry him in many an episode. So will the real life couple unite on TV as well? Says Gauri Pradhan Tejwani who plays the character: "Nandini will eventually marry Karan. If that doesn't happen, then many would stop watching Kyunki!"
And who else would fit Nandini's child's profile better than
Aakashdeep 'Ansh' Saigal? The actor is currently in the midst of
discussions with Balaji Telefilms about being reborn as Nandini's
son. Saigal doesn't know yet whether the character will be "positive or negative." However, if that doesn't happen, then Saigal's long locks and draconian ways just might jump across channels as he para- drops onto Sony's Kkusum as Trishul - Abhay and Tashu's son. Much like Ansh sweet-talked his way into Tulsi's heart, Trishul will go on the dutiful son overdrive with Abhay, and will win him over before stabbing him. Says Anuj Saxena, who plays Abhay, "Trishul will initially help Abhay with his business and will turn against him later." Adds Nivedita Basu, creative head of the Kkusum team, "Trishul is an out and out negative character." In Trishul's line of fire will also be Ejaz Khan, who plays Sohan, Abhay's nephew. Trishul will bump him off when he stumbles upon a closely guarded secret.
In true Balaji style, an army of young turks will invade the small
screen, what with quantum leaps across time. Come mid-April, and
Kyunki will celebrate its 1,000th episode with a 20-year leap. The
episode will mark the end of the Virani veteran of four generations - Ba. As many as 13 newcomers will storm the soap. Among these will
be Shobha and Abhishek's child, Damini and Ganga's sons and Nandini's child. There are rumours that Amar 'Mihir' Upadhyay may
return as one of Tulsi's grandsons. With the proliferation of the
Viraani parivaar, disparate opinions and a generation gap will
ensue, as parampara strives to meet a modern outlook. As the TRP
topper's scriptwriter Nagpal puts it, "The new lot will be a mixed
breed of those believing in old values and those who go by what's
new." Nagpal believes that the Kyunki team will be able to prove
that the soap isn't just about saas-bahu politics. "We want to move
with the times and evolve ourselves," he adds.
What's more, Shantiniketan will have a new Tulsi - for whom Balaji
has already launched a campaign - Kya hamari Tulsi aapke ghar mein
hai? This will be Smriti Iraani's grand-daughter, who will reflect
her values but will have a mind of her own.
However, much sooner that that, Prerna, Anurag and Rishabh Bajaj
will head towards a mid-age crisis as Kasauti Zindagi Ki takes a 20- year leap. But the soap isn't going to have the Kyunki brand of
masala. Says its creative head, "Kasauti's 20-year leap wouldn't
witness much." With Geetanjali Tikekar (Aparna) having walked out
because of the leap, rumours are afloat that Shweta Tiwari, who
plays the lissome Prerna, too, may not be part of the soap anymore.
It also remains to be seen whether Anurag will re-marry for the nth
time, or stay single.
The serial TRPs are likely to hinge on Surveen (Charu in Kahin To
Hoga) who will play Bajaj and Prerna's daughter. Surveen is pleased
as punch about landing the plum role. She exclaims, "It's a lovely
character. My dad and I are more of friends than a father and
daughter. I'll be treated as a mature girl, not like Sneha, Prerna
and Anurag's daughter."
The 'cerebral' soap, too, promise to introduce some convolutions
into their plots. Astitva's Niki Aneja, the brainiest lass on the
idiot box will discover that she has become the other woman in her
ex-husband Abhimanyu's life. Says Purnendu Shekhar, Astitva's script writer, "Simran decides to stay away from Abhimanyu and his second wife Neha." But Shekhar insists that the soap won't deviate from its focus on a man and a woman who are made for each other but are not able to be united. A few episodes down the line, the other-woman pangs will hit Neha and she will begin to feel that she has come in between Abhimanyu and Dr Simran. Says Varun 'Abhimanyu'
Badola, "Neha will keep commenting on Abhi and Simran's relationship but then she too would understand how important both of them are for each other."
The second brainiest telly damsel, Jassi, who had legions of fans
because she wasn't embarrassed of her geek quotient, will become one of the crowd by getting into the mould of a PYT. First on line is a mental makeover, and then, "if required", a physical makeover. Going by the way Mona 'Jassi' Singh is being photographed nowadays - without her glasses, and even her trademark Jassi hairdo and
wardrobe, the physical makeover will happen sooner than the creative brains behind Jassi would like to share with us. Dekho Magar Pyar Se, the other soap that dared not to tread on the hackneyed saas- bahu path, already has an obese Nikki transform into a svelte young thing, out to avenge her unrequited love.
Have we disillusioned you with the lowdown on serial madness this
year? Well, you always have Thakurji to turn to if the telly gets to you.
If marital rapes, Ansh and Sasha's villainous acts, children born as a result of rape and Tulsi's Mother India act dominated the idiot box in 2004, this year promises a lot more absurdities. From a spanking new Tulsi in Kyunki, Parvati bhabhi's tryst with the revolver in Kahaani, Kashish's third marriage in KTH, to Ansh's rebirth as Nandini's son, the soap dish will get kitschier as Ekta Kapoor and Co let their imagination run wild in a bid to capture your eyeballs. Neha Mathur crystal gazes into what lies ahead on the idiot box this year
If the killer-tsunami rattled you, brace yourself for another one.
Only this one wouldn't be relayed for its numbing shock value in
news capsules and documentaries or appeals to raise funds before the world moves on to another disaster. It will be beamed into our homes all through 2005 as we sit plonked in front of the idiot box having our dinner. The casualty figure wouldn't be 156,000 and still counting, but our collective intelligence. Like we have done year after year, we shall brush our sanity under the carpet and dumb down ourselves to become avid consumers of soaps that are poised to become more mentally challenged than ever before.
Heralding the era of dumb and dumber will, as usual, be soap queen
Ekta Kapoor as her scriptwriters and creative heads relentlessly
churn out unimaginable absurdities, viciousness, vitriol and gore.
Blueprints for convolutions in the plots of TRP toppers of Star
Plus, Sony and Zee have already been drawn, with several serials
getting a whole new look in 2005. Here's a look at the absurdities
you can expect:
Your idiot box will play host to at least two inexplicable marriages this year. Kahin To Hoga's Kashish will tie the knot for the third time - this time with Sujal's stepbrother Swayam! She will do this in spite of falling in love with Sujal, after finding out that he did not kill her ex-husband Piyush. Here's how KTH scriptwriter Anil Nagpal explains the twist in Kashish's rather fertile marital life: "We are planning this to make KTH a fast-paced show in which things happen spontaneously."
The other knot that is expected to send shock waves through a gaping audience is that of Kyunki's Shobha with Abhishek, who aided the killing of her husband Vishal. What's more, they will also have a child!
Tulsi's Mother India act will have ripple effect in the Balaji
stable. If Smriti Iraani can do it, can Sakshi Tanwar be far behind?
Tanwar shall be pulling the trigger in Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii on her
nephew Machchan. Like Tulsi, she will land up in jail, but will come out unscathed from the fracas. Mercifully, 2004's biggest villains - Ansh and Sasha will be given a proper burial this year. While Ansh will be cremated in the second week of January, Sasha will be confined to a mental asylum after his girlfriend Monika dumps him!
Says he, "I will be madly in love with Monika but she will turn
against me because of a chain of events. That will drive me mad."
But lest you think that the cup of woes of the numero uno telly
bahus - Tulsi and Parvati will stop overflowing after this, think
again. Post Ansh, evil will storm into Tulsi's life in the form of
Mohini, her son Harsh's muse. With this, Harsh will be the fifth of
Tulsi's children to have trouble erupt in his love life! And Parvati bhabhi will soon have to cope with the machinations of Sasha's girlfriend Monika. But even after Monika exits from Kahaani, Parvati's Ayodhya will continue to remain Kurukshetra, as a sordid secret from her past will be unearthed to wreak havoc on the Aggarwal parivaar. Says Kiran Karmarkar, Parvati's significant other half, "We have no clue about this secret from Parvati's past. The scriptwriters don't tell us things in advance. The plots keep
changing depending upon the availability of the stars."
Now, for the trail of 'rape' babies. As if Kyunki's Harsh and K
Street Pali Hill's Smriti hadn't exhausted our reservoir of
compassion for children conceived as a result of rape, Kyunki's
Nandini will discover that Ansh impregnated her with rape. Once
again, her romance with Karan will take a backseat, as the perennial damsel in distress will deliberate upon whether she should marry him in many an episode. So will the real life couple unite on TV as well? Says Gauri Pradhan Tejwani who plays the character: "Nandini will eventually marry Karan. If that doesn't happen, then many would stop watching Kyunki!"
And who else would fit Nandini's child's profile better than
Aakashdeep 'Ansh' Saigal? The actor is currently in the midst of
discussions with Balaji Telefilms about being reborn as Nandini's
son. Saigal doesn't know yet whether the character will be "positive or negative." However, if that doesn't happen, then Saigal's long locks and draconian ways just might jump across channels as he para- drops onto Sony's Kkusum as Trishul - Abhay and Tashu's son. Much like Ansh sweet-talked his way into Tulsi's heart, Trishul will go on the dutiful son overdrive with Abhay, and will win him over before stabbing him. Says Anuj Saxena, who plays Abhay, "Trishul will initially help Abhay with his business and will turn against him later." Adds Nivedita Basu, creative head of the Kkusum team, "Trishul is an out and out negative character." In Trishul's line of fire will also be Ejaz Khan, who plays Sohan, Abhay's nephew. Trishul will bump him off when he stumbles upon a closely guarded secret.
In true Balaji style, an army of young turks will invade the small
screen, what with quantum leaps across time. Come mid-April, and
Kyunki will celebrate its 1,000th episode with a 20-year leap. The
episode will mark the end of the Virani veteran of four generations - Ba. As many as 13 newcomers will storm the soap. Among these will
be Shobha and Abhishek's child, Damini and Ganga's sons and Nandini's child. There are rumours that Amar 'Mihir' Upadhyay may
return as one of Tulsi's grandsons. With the proliferation of the
Viraani parivaar, disparate opinions and a generation gap will
ensue, as parampara strives to meet a modern outlook. As the TRP
topper's scriptwriter Nagpal puts it, "The new lot will be a mixed
breed of those believing in old values and those who go by what's
new." Nagpal believes that the Kyunki team will be able to prove
that the soap isn't just about saas-bahu politics. "We want to move
with the times and evolve ourselves," he adds.
What's more, Shantiniketan will have a new Tulsi - for whom Balaji
has already launched a campaign - Kya hamari Tulsi aapke ghar mein
hai? This will be Smriti Iraani's grand-daughter, who will reflect
her values but will have a mind of her own.
However, much sooner that that, Prerna, Anurag and Rishabh Bajaj
will head towards a mid-age crisis as Kasauti Zindagi Ki takes a 20- year leap. But the soap isn't going to have the Kyunki brand of
masala. Says its creative head, "Kasauti's 20-year leap wouldn't
witness much." With Geetanjali Tikekar (Aparna) having walked out
because of the leap, rumours are afloat that Shweta Tiwari, who
plays the lissome Prerna, too, may not be part of the soap anymore.
It also remains to be seen whether Anurag will re-marry for the nth
time, or stay single.
The serial TRPs are likely to hinge on Surveen (Charu in Kahin To
Hoga) who will play Bajaj and Prerna's daughter. Surveen is pleased
as punch about landing the plum role. She exclaims, "It's a lovely
character. My dad and I are more of friends than a father and
daughter. I'll be treated as a mature girl, not like Sneha, Prerna
and Anurag's daughter."
The 'cerebral' soap, too, promise to introduce some convolutions
into their plots. Astitva's Niki Aneja, the brainiest lass on the
idiot box will discover that she has become the other woman in her
ex-husband Abhimanyu's life. Says Purnendu Shekhar, Astitva's script writer, "Simran decides to stay away from Abhimanyu and his second wife Neha." But Shekhar insists that the soap won't deviate from its focus on a man and a woman who are made for each other but are not able to be united. A few episodes down the line, the other-woman pangs will hit Neha and she will begin to feel that she has come in between Abhimanyu and Dr Simran. Says Varun 'Abhimanyu'
Badola, "Neha will keep commenting on Abhi and Simran's relationship but then she too would understand how important both of them are for each other."
The second brainiest telly damsel, Jassi, who had legions of fans
because she wasn't embarrassed of her geek quotient, will become one of the crowd by getting into the mould of a PYT. First on line is a mental makeover, and then, "if required", a physical makeover. Going by the way Mona 'Jassi' Singh is being photographed nowadays - without her glasses, and even her trademark Jassi hairdo and
wardrobe, the physical makeover will happen sooner than the creative brains behind Jassi would like to share with us. Dekho Magar Pyar Se, the other soap that dared not to tread on the hackneyed saas- bahu path, already has an obese Nikki transform into a svelte young thing, out to avenge her unrequited love.
Have we disillusioned you with the lowdown on serial madness this
year? Well, you always have Thakurji to turn to if the telly gets to you.
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