Then & There OR At Home?

Where would you prefer to discipline your kid when s/he misbehaves in public? By public, I mean in front of your friends n family, or acquaintances or the kid's friends..could be anyone.

I've witnessed situations where, the kid has displayed extreme misbehaviour in public...and I've met 2 sets of parents handling the same situation.

A) These parents just give their kids a stern warning and then later when they reach home, they deal with them for having behaved so badly or said something unacceptable in public...or anything in that series. Their logic is..you shouldn't open fire on your kid in public, you can always explain things or scold them or whack them inside the four walls. This spares the kids the embarassment or the insecurity they might feel in public.... but will still teach them the necessary lesson that such behaviour wont be tolerated again.

B) These parents just deal with their kids then and there...leading to embarassment of the kid in front of everyone, at times even humiliation. These parents believe that by doing so, this lesson is comparable to a military lesson. Kids remember this lesson well and understand the fact that if they repeat it, even their parents wont cover up their mistakes or stand by them no matter where they are at that moment. Misbehaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated at any cost anywhere.

I've my own sets of thoughts regarding both these approaches...but which one do you feel is better? A or B?

I prefer A, and that was also the method I was brought up on. Misbehaviour should be prohibited BEFORE going to somewhere public and consequences for such behaviour should be given beforehand, and if not held up, it should be treated back at home. In Public, I think not only the child, but the parents are embarrased too.

am blessed with pretty good kids myself...but if the need ever arises, it has to be A above. don't believe in humiliating l'il ones in public.

Originally posted by: ftm_ca

I prefer A, and that was also the method I was brought up on. Misbehaviour should be prohibited BEFORE going to somewhere public and consequences for such behaviour should be given beforehand, and if not held up, it should be treated back at home. In Public, I think not only the child, but the parents are embarrased too.

This was precisely my choice as well Fatima. But when I expressed that, the one who followed B said...well kids brought up by the A method think...whats the most mum or dad might do if I do a certain thing ? She might jus warn me and then go home n scold me a bit. They might keep a door open depending on how tough these cookies are...n might repeat it. The fear of being dealt with inside the four walls doesnt compare to the fear that they might face embarassment in public again cus their parents wouldnt spare them.

I dont know...well...its a thought

Originally posted by: ftm_ca

I prefer A, and that was also the method I was brought up on. Misbehaviour should be prohibited BEFORE going to somewhere public and consequences for such behaviour should be given beforehand, and if not held up, it should be treated back at home. In Public, I think not only the child, but the parents are embarrased too.

I agree absolutely! If the opportunity still arises, sometimes A, sometimes B.

There was this kid blowing candles on my nephew's birthday cake😡 😭😭
and while blowing the candles , he was also little spitting accidently 😕😕.
I wished his parents disciplined him then and there. I did not want any other kids to consume the cake after that and myself also barely gulped it down.

Don't embarrass your kid by disciplining harshly in public, but some issues should be handled then and there. Best is to make sure they never behave such in the first place. 😳

Originally posted by: sohn

This was precisely my choice as well Fatima. But when I expressed that, the one who followed B said...well kids brought up by the A method think...whats the most mum or dad might do if I do a certain thing ? She might jus warn me and then go home n scold me a bit. They might keep a door open depending on how tough these cookies are...n might repeat it. The fear of being dealt with inside the four walls doesnt compare to the fear that they might face embarassment in public again cus their parents wouldnt spare them.

I dont know...well...its a thought

i don't agree with the bolded part. if you handle the problematic behavior accordingly, chances are it will not repeat in future. i am sure "A" parents don't just "scold a little" and let it go. kids have to face the consequences like time out etc. only thing is parents don't harm their selg respect by embarassing them in public...which can leave scars on a child's impressionable mind at such an early age. every one has self respect...even children.

i kind of agree with sohn @ the bolded part. kids aren't dumb.........they know what is right and what is wrong. before they do something wrong they aready KNOW that its unacceptable to parents..like hitting the parent or running around the parking lot.

and i do think that they have the mentality that i can get away with anything here in public. by the time you get home sometimes the parent is already over the whole situation and the kid gets away with it....well to some degree.

i agree the kids have self respect too but dealing with them in public and sometimes even embarassing them works better than doing it at home.

whenever my son misbehaves i simply threaten him that i will tell his massi and mamaji (whom he simply adores) and he stops then and there and apologizes.

kids do NOT want to be embarrassed in public and if they are embarrassed once i can guarantee you they will think twice before misbehaving that way again. this of course they are old enough to UNDERSTAND. can't expect a 1 year old to follow those rules.

i apply both methods depending on the situation. i never spank my kids in public....who knows when someone will call 911. 😆 BUT i will scold them and take away priviledges.

I dont know. As my maasi always says, that will be the day when I forewarn my kid and take him to some party and he behaves exactly as he should. Its a dream lol.

I was totally against the B side of life, but I think as Subha di & MJ said, it really depends. Both need to be implemented depending on the situation.

I've had this situation with my maasi in a bday party of her son as well for some strange reason 😕 One of my cousin's friend was trying to touch the bday cake and his mum was watching him, constantly giving him the stares and the 'dont do it looks' n finally she walked up to him n said, if he doesnt stop touching the cake, he will not watch some cartoon show tomorrow. I was chattin to her while all this was going on. Finally when he still persisted, she yelled out his name nice n loud and a few of them stopped to look at her kid to see whats happening. The kid was so embarassed with the stares ..he didnt come around the cake till they left maasi's home. Poor thing..but it worked 😕

Originally posted by: sohn

I dont know. As my maasi always says, that will be the day when I forewarn my kid and take him to some party and he behaves exactly as he should. Its a dream lol.

i agree........but like i said before all this depends on the age of the kid. i cant expect my 3 year old to remember all the rules i explain to him before a bday party........but a 6 year old for sure.

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

i agree........but like i said before all this depends on the age of the kid. i cant expect my 3 year old to remember all the rules i explain to him before a bday party........but a 6 year old for sure.

😕 🥺 Nahinnnnnnnnnn! Moi chhoti maasi ka chhota beta 6 saal ka hain 😕