Parents or your love? - Page 3

Originally posted by: raj5000

Parents are NOT reasonable in assisting/guiding children on the most important decision of life, is that what we are trying to say here?

I don't think so! Parents always think in best interest of thier children yes extreme cases or exceptions are there but we need to equally value thier thought process.

I think each of us here is stating our views. All of us are blessed with excellent parents. While keeping parents on the pedestal we often forget that they are human too and make mistakes just like children. Every decision of theirs' is not right. Sometimes they just stick to their belief and wouldn't hear what a child wants even if the demand is reasonable. Major decisions like career and love are not like what to eat and what dress should one wear. One thing to be noted here is it is you who have to live that life. So be sure that when you trust your parents' decision it is what you want. If you agree with that decision then great. That is the ideal world everyone wishes for.

Having said that as I said in a previous post, in a practical world it is better to pursue someone you love after making sure that your parents would approve of such a relationship. If one already knows how stringent parents are then it is better to let go of love. But if one has decided to pursue love then better not go back and create confusions in everyone's lives later.

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

i will respond but later. right now my hands are tired of typing!

don't worry about it.. am off this post after replying to next post...😊

Originally posted by: Maya_M

I think each of us here is stating our views. All of us are blessed with excellent parents. While keeping parents on the pedestal we often forget that they are human too and make mistakes just like children. Every decision of theirs' is not right. Sometimes they just stick to their belief and wouldn't hear what a child wants even if the demand is reasonable. Major decisions like career and love are not like what to eat and what dress should one wear. One thing to be noted here is it is you who have to live that life. So be sure that when you trust your parents' decision it is what you want. If you agree with that decision then great. That is the ideal world everyone wishes for.

I understood your point in the response before therefore no quote :).

See my first response too, its talking the same thing but keeping both parties in mind. I just felt the point of view that parents bring is being misunderstood and wanted to clarify on thier behalf. Bottom line one does whatever he/ she likes back is always parents... why to side line then stating they are unreasonable... No parents wants bad of child... but its definately upto childrent to make decision whether they are happy throughout or have to face seperation. Thier call they are responsible.

Having said that as I said in a previous post, in a practical world it is better to pursue someone you love after making sure that your parents would approve of such a relationship. If one already knows how stringent parents are then it is better to let go of love. But if one has decided to pursue love then better not go back and create confusions in everyone's lives later.

Read my response on page one😃

BTW this for all marraiges OWN CONSENT VS PARENTS CONSENT... percentage??? - u will get your answer.. 😊

Originally posted by: Maya_M

Having said that as I said in a previous post, in a practical world it is better to pursue someone you love after making sure that your parents would approve of such a relationship. If one already knows how stringent parents are then it is better to let go of love. But if one has decided to pursue love then better not go back and create confusions in everyone's lives later.

I think mostly the problems happen, when a person tells parents after they are already in love....

I earlier believed that love is made and does nt happen.... I was wrong... it may sometime happen that you are attracted to a person then you know the person more and more and fall in love....So whether your parents would stand for it or not.... U are not in senses to think about that 😆 ..... But if you tell that you are in love with a girl or guy and want to marry and give ultimatum directly.... Parents have teh right to think that you have nt trusted them and betrayed them.... because u have taken a decision already.... then whats the need of taking permission....

I feel if you are seeing a girl... then you must tell the parents and they would know her well through time that you fall in love.... then even if you marry against their will, Atleast they dont feel that u never trusted them and everything falls in place later.... 😊

I would not support if the parents reject to marry a nice boy or girl only for reason of caste.... (I m not talking of religion).... But I would support them of the family of that boy or girl is not good.... because marriage is not relation of two people bt two families.... If the reason is only caste then I would persue them and try hard to get them agree with me on the marriage than leaving them and marrying😊

Originally posted by: raj5000

BTW this for all marraiges OWN CONSENT VS PARENTS CONSENT... percentage??? - u will get your answer.. 😊

And who took the census of happily married couple? The discussion is not directly about success of Love or Arranged marraiges. Even if it is, still it doesn't prove that everyone in an arranged marraige is happy. I am repeating myself still again all of us are blessed with excellent parents. While keeping parents on the pedestal we often forget that they are human too and make mistakes just like children. So it is fine if their choices match ours. That is a perfect world. What if their choice was not yours and worse, life became hell after marriage? Who should be blamed? Obviously no one would blame parents because they always think good about their children. So it is always the couple's fault. It is their fault that they never liked each other and have nothing in common. Adjustment is necessary for a successful relation but there is a limit. Just because children decides to stay back in the marraige for the sake of parents doesn't make such relations successful and I don't really care about such percentages too.

I know true lovers would beat me up😆 but I would ask lovers to be practical. You want your parents to be happy with you always then fall in love with someone who matches your Mamma's list of qualities in future DIL. 😛

Originally posted by: Maya_M

And who took the census of happily married couple? The discussion is not directly about success of Love or Arranged marraiges. Even if it is, still it doesn't prove that everyone in an arranged marraige is happy. I am repeating myself still again all of us are blessed with excellent parents. While keeping parents on the pedestal we often forget that they are human too and make mistakes just like children. So it is fine if their choices match ours. That is a perfect world. What if their choice was not yours and worse, life became hell after marriage? Who should be blamed? Obviously no one would blame parents because they always think good about their children. So it is always the couple's fault. It is their fault that they never liked each other and have nothing in common. Adjustment is necessary for a successful relation but there is a limit. Just because children decides to stay back in the marraige for the sake of parents doesn't make such relations successful and I don't really care about such percentages too.

I know true lovers would beat me up😆----ya ya but I would ask lovers to be practical. You want your parents to be happy with you always then fall in love with someone who matches your Mamma's list of qualities in future DIL. 😛

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married .... Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in- law to a mother's heartstrings.

Originally posted by: raj5000

Sorry but couldn't resist - sounds more like being rebellious attitude to me.

Parents are NOT reasonable in assisting/guiding children on the most important decision of life, is that what we are trying to say here?

I don't think so! Parents always think in best interest of thier children yes extreme cases or exceptions are there but we need to equally value thier thought process.

I think you are generalising a lot.......... There are many parents for whom they love their caste, religion and customs more than their children.... They think with the time the son or daughter will get used to the person they have chosen, which may not happen... It may also happen, but then you are keeping someone else's life in danger with your family matters....

I believe in marriages with the consent of Parents.... But I believe in marrying with the one you love.... If you know your parents welll then rather than leaving them in jeopardy, talk out and try to make settlement😊

Originally posted by: Believe

Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in- law to a mother's heartstrings.