Anupamaa the character - Page 4

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Comments inline.

Anupama’s pagal hai means are you crazy to think like that. Choti did want to leave with Maaya, there was the scene between Anupama and Choti where Choti asks Anupama to let her go. Also, the question here is not whether Choti went willingly, it is Anuj’s silence for months and his living with Maaya out of a misplaced sense of guilt and responsibility towards Maaya. He obviously did not feel this same sense of guilt and responsibility towards his love of 26 years, to his dharam pathni. 

So Anupama  has duties to look for him, but Anuj has no duty to call and tell her where he is? Only she has duties, he doesn’t?  He can bring Maaya, vest her with the powers of Maalkin of his house and do what his heart and his faltu dimaag pleases, but Anupama cannot? 

20+ or 50+ kids are your kids no matter what. That is how it goes, sadly and strangely. 

Religious functions like grahapravesh and other rituals are done by husband and wife. Marriage of the child is done by the parents of the bride and groom, not spouse but parent so the equation changes there. Maybe there has not been a precedent in Hindu culture as divorce was not common or widely accepted before so it always so happened that the parents of the bride and groom were married to each other. 

In the current age, divorce is common, mixed families are common but the parental bond doesn’t change because of that, may expand to include kids brought into the marriage and living with you but ultimately parents even when divorced try to maintain a semblance of cordiality for the sake of the children they have jointly brought into this world. If we accept divorce and mixed families, then we need to understand too that the duties of a parent does not go away just because they have decided not to cohabit with their spouse any more, that parental duty continues ad infinitum.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Anupama’s pagal hai means are you crazy to think like that. Choti did want to leave with Maaya, there was the scene between Anupama and Choti where Choti asks Anupama to let her go. Also, the question here is not whether Choti went willingly, it is Anuj’s silence for months and his living with Maaya out of a misplaced sense of guilt and responsibility towards Maaya. He obviously did not feel this same sense of guilt and responsibility towards his love of 26 years, to his dharam pathni.

Aren't you contradicting yourself especially talking about Dharma Patni?

Before leaving Anupama and Choti had a long drawn and crystal clear conversation. Choti Anu gives explicit reasons why she had to go with Maaya and that she believed (and Anupama never bothered correcting) that she was the reason for fights between Anupama and Anuj and the instances she narrated were evidence that Maaya was playing the emotional card to take her away.

This happened WITHOUT Anuj's knowledge and Anupama HID this fact from him. When Anuj retaliated, wanted to seek Legal help to Stop Choti Anu because she probably wanted to tell him something, Anupama pushed and LOCKED HIM in the room so as to not meet her.

Anuj went to Mumbai after this. So, no matter how much one tries to realign the sequence of events, twist logic, the facts do not change that Anupama let Maaya take Choti Anu inspite of FULLY knowing the truth. Anuj truly treated Choti Anu as HIS CHILD.

If we are drawing conclusions, it is only conclusive that Anupama, through this (sending Choti Anu with Maaya) despite knowing the emotional blackmail underlying it, conveniently got rid of Choti Anu and only then realised the extent of attachment Anuj had for Choti Anu.

So Anupama  has duties to look for him, but Anuj has no duty to call and tell her where he is? Only she has duties, he doesn’t?  He can bring Maaya, vest her with the powers of Maalkin of his house and do what his heart and his faltu dimaag pleases, but Anupama cannot?

Well, if he would have been run over before he reached Mumbai, none would have known, isnt it?

He NEVER called Maaya the Malkin of his house. Infact he made it clear at EVERY INSTANCE that he has NO INTEREST in Maaya. In fact Paritosh, Vanraj and Kanta, Ankush, Pakhi themselves are seen discussing that it is evident Anuj is with Maaya because of some Majboori and not love and that something is related to her health and that Choti Anu also is acting distant.

Infact, on every instance that Maaya tried to engage with Anupama in a verbal spat, Anuj not only sternly stopped her but eventually also fiercely defended Anupama which inturn triggered Maaya further.

Vanraj on the other hand, said that he wanted Anupama back in Shah House as the Malkin.

20+ or 50+ kids are your kids no matter what. That is how it goes, sadly and strangely.

We can go over this in circles for as long as we want but then, if we are equating a 7 year old to a married, adult then it is but pointless.

Religious functions like grahapravesh and other rituals are done by husband and wife. Marriage of the child is done by the parents of the bride and groom, not spouse but parent so the equation changes there. Maybe there has not been a precedent in Hindu culture as divorce was not common or widely accepted before so it always so happened that the parents of the bride and groom were married to each other.

Sorry, but that is not true. Even if only the bride's or groom's father is present, he CANNOT sit in the rituals. The right to sit with a Yajamaan is his Ardhaangi's ONLY.

Much as I dislike giving divine examples especially in cases related to this shitshow, since this is related to customs, here it is.

When Shri Ram wanted to perform Akshamedha Yaaga, he had to sit in the Hawan. A bronze pratima of Maata Sita was made since 1. She was alive and 2. She was the Dharma Patni.

In the current age, divorce is common, mixed families are common but the parental bond doesn’t change because of that, may expand to include kids brought into the marriage and living with you but ultimately parents even when divorced try to maintain a semblance of cordiality for the sake of the children they have jointly brought into this world. If we accept divorce and mixed families, then we need to understand too that the duties of a parent does not go away just because they have decided not to cohabit with their spouse any more, that parental duty continues ad infinitum.

Sorry Sir/Ma'am, I am not willing to engage in any discussion further especially related to culture and traditions because I stand by the fact that this show does a gross misrepresentation of culture and traditions which I strongly detest and by what it looks like, you seem to be aligned on it.

That said, neither I claim authority of religion, culture or traditions and I am sure you do not too but certain beliefs are personal and let us clearly agree to disagree.

Originally posted by: Harish111

No one will have any sympathy for anyone who wants to be a lifelong victim.

Life gave her great second and third chances, loving husband and daughter, all the money and power in the world to enable herself. 

But she ran away and now is a crying depressed victim again. 

There are millions of people waiting for even second chance to live independently and this selfish women threw away a loving family, money and power to end up on the road again.

Who will have sympathy for such a creature? 

Anupama's biggest mistake is that she choose relations over career. She had an opportunity to move on, explore the world and get to work after Anuj's entry. I see no Women Empowerment in this serial. I hope Anupama takes a leaf out of Rakhi ji's book and becomes a successful business woman.

Originally posted by: prachetas2211

Anupama's biggest mistake is that she choose relations over career. She had an opportunity to move on, explore the world and get to work after Anuj's entry. I see no Women Empowerment in this serial. I hope Anupama takes a leaf out of Rakhi ji's book and becomes a successful business woman.

Exactly, if she had chosen career over second marriage, love, no one would care so much. People would still support her. But she chose her abusive Shahs, baa, bauji and even vanraj over Anuj and Adhya. 

Multiple dance academies, restaurants, YouTube channel, kapadia Empire, she abandon every career. 

Originally posted by: Harish111

Exactly, if she had chosen career over second marriage, love, no one would care so much. People would still support her. But she chose her abusive Shahs, baa, bauji and even vanraj over Anuj and Adhya. 

Multiple dance academies, restaurants, YouTube channel, kapadia Empire, she abandon every career. 

I agree. Anupama should have stuck to her original decision not to marry Anuj. After divorce, she could have become well educated (There is no age limit for acquiring knowledge). Education is a powerful weapon that we can use to change the world. Anuj being a good friend should have invested in Anupama's education, himself being a rich business man and should have offered her a job in his company. Had this happened, we would have seen a different Anupama shining in her career.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Anupama’s pagal hai means are you crazy to think like that. Choti did want to leave with Maaya, there was the scene between Anupama and Choti where Choti asks Anupama to let her go. Also, the question here is not whether Choti went willingly, it is Anuj’s silence for months and his living with Maaya out of a misplaced sense of guilt and responsibility towards Maaya. He obviously did not feel this same sense of guilt and responsibility towards his love of 26 years, to his dharam pathni. 

So Anupama  has duties to look for him, but Anuj has no duty to call and tell her where he is? Only she has duties, he doesn’t?  He can bring Maaya, vest her with the powers of Maalkin of his house and do what his heart and his faltu dimaag pleases, but Anupama cannot? 

20+ or 50+ kids are your kids no matter what. That is how it goes, sadly and strangely. 

Religious functions like grahapravesh and other rituals are done by husband and wife. Marriage of the child is done by the parents of the bride and groom, not spouse but parent so the equation changes there. Maybe there has not been a precedent in Hindu culture as divorce was not common or widely accepted before so it always so happened that the parents of the bride and groom were married to each other. 

In the current age, divorce is common, mixed families are common but the parental bond doesn’t change because of that, may expand to include kids brought into the marriage and living with you but ultimately parents even when divorced try to maintain a semblance of cordiality for the sake of the children they have jointly brought into this world. If we accept divorce and mixed families, then we need to understand too that the duties of a parent does not go away just because they have decided not to cohabit with their spouse any more, that parental duty continues ad infinitum.

Parent duties continue not ex hubby duty cooking for ex and ex family taking care of ex in laws etc 

I know many people who married second time in real life.in india only  

Ex: One person was 55 when he married a woman at 45 in india. Wife has kids staying with husband two of them one girl with her. 

Husband is divorce with kids staying with first wife they visit father on festivals or his birthday only for few hours. 

The new second wife never goes to ex hubby house in same city less than 5 kms from her home ever. The two sons who stay with father come and meet mom once a week or on festivals etc and their sister who stays with mom. 

By the way the second wife had divorced her first hubby 10 years back before next marriage. Not one day in last 10 years she has gone to meet second hubby or her kids in 2nd hubby house. They only come and meet kids in her home. Daughter of course is small stays with mom goes to school. Sons are big like toshu and samar and stay with dad and her ex in laws

And after 2nd marraige no way that lady will go to 1st hubby house like anupama everyday okkk although her first hubby not married anyone yet 

Her in laws and sis in law are very good humans yet she never once go to hubby house after divorce - its called self respect 

Yes in social function or outside in laws meet she speak and even touch their feet and take blessings but never ever enter first hubby house again after she left after divorce 

And shes also 10th pass like anupama works in school as teacher only to support herself and her daughter. In court both her boys who were like 15, 18 years decided to stay with dad and daughter who was 5 with mom. 

She says if my sons marry than may be for tilak i will go that house but not enter ex hubby angan stand outside bless my son and new bahus and go to marriage hall. She has never gone to celebrate any festival or birthdays to ex hubby house. Her daughter who is both her sons real sister can go stay in house when wedding or any occasion is there with brother or father its her will. She is 14 now. 

This is called real divorce by a woman and self respect all pppl respect her a lot for how she conducted herself after divorce 

Ohh by the way that first hubby is not even as bad as vanraj he did not do any EMA etc with another woman etc hes no womanizer 

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Parent duties continue not ex hubby duty cooking for ex and ex family taking care of ex in laws etc 

I know many people who married second time in real life.in india only  

Ex: One person was 55 when he married a woman at 45 in india. Wife has kids staying with husband two of them one girl with her. 

Husband is divorce with kids staying with first wife they visit father on festivals or his birthday only for few hours. 

The new second wife never goes to ex hubby house in same city less than 5 kms from her home ever. The two sons who stay with father come and meet mom once a week or on festivals etc and their sister who stays with mom. 

By the way the second wife had divorced her first hubby 10 years back before next marriage. Not one day in last 10 years she has gone to meet second hubby or her kids in 2nd hubby house. They only come and meet kids in her home. Daughter of course is small stays with mom goes to school. Sons are big like toshu and samar and stay with dad and her ex in laws

And after 2nd marraige no way that lady will go to 1st hubby house like anupama everyday okkk although her first hubby not married anyone yet 

Her in laws and sis in law are very good humans yet she never once go to hubby house after divorce - its called self respect 

Yes in social function or outside in laws meet she speak and even touch their feet and take blessings but never ever enter first hubby house again after she left after divorce 

And shes also 10th pass like anupama works in school as teacher only to support herself and her daughter. In court both her boys who were like 15, 18 years decided to stay with dad and daughter who was 5 with mom. 

She says if my sons marry than may be for tilak i will go that house but not enter ex hubby angan stand outside bless my son and new bahus and go to marriage hall. She has never gone to celebrate any festival or birthdays to ex hubby house. Her daughter who is both her sons real sister can go stay in house when wedding or any occasion is there with brother or father its her will. She is 14 now. 

This is called real divorce by a woman and self respect all pppl respect her a lot for how she conducted herself after divorce 

Ohh by the way that first hubby is not even as bad as vanraj he did not do any EMA etc with another woman etc hes no womanizer 

Exactly what kind of empowerment is this. During marriage also u didn't focus on yourself blaming in laws ke wajeh se. After divorce also u are not focussing on self, just serving the Exs and then making the Ex in laws look bad for still exploiting you. Kya hai. Don't u have any control over your life. Is this empowerment? But TRP to isse se milti hai jab in laws are bashed on TV and FL is shown victim and bechari. Ager Anupama progress ker legi life mein to society ka power structure jo tut jayega. 

Originally posted by: AngelRG

Exactly what kind of empowerment is this. During marriage also u didn't focus on yourself blaming in laws ke wajeh se. After divorce also u are not focussing on self, just serving the Exs and then making the Ex in laws look bad for still exploiting you. Kya hai. Don't u have any control over your life. Is this empowerment? But TRP to isse se milti hai jab in laws are bashed on TV and FL is shown victim and bechari. Ager Anupama progress ker legi life mein to society ka power structure jo tut jayega. 

I don’t agree that Anupama is empowered at all. She was not in the past, nor is she empowered now, but she is trying to be independent and is trying to empower herself, whether she is succeeding or failing is not of consequence. Yes, we would like to see her succeed but even the trying to be strong and alone and independent is worthy of mention. She is a flawed character as is perhaps every human, art mimics life, and while not everyone may like her character, the show is about her life, her mishaps, some self created, some inflicted upon her, it is her story, she is the focus and the centerpiece of this serial that is named after her, everyone else is a secondary character in this story because this is Anupama’s biography say what we will. 

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Parent duties continue not ex hubby duty cooking for ex and ex family taking care of ex in laws etc 

I know many people who married second time in real life.in india only  

Ex: One person was 55 when he married a woman at 45 in india. Wife has kids staying with husband two of them one girl with her. 

Husband is divorce with kids staying with first wife they visit father on festivals or his birthday only for few hours. 

The new second wife never goes to ex hubby house in same city less than 5 kms from her home ever. The two sons who stay with father come and meet mom once a week or on festivals etc and their sister who stays with mom. 

By the way the second wife had divorced her first hubby 10 years back before next marriage. Not one day in last 10 years she has gone to meet second hubby or her kids in 2nd hubby house. They only come and meet kids in her home. Daughter of course is small stays with mom goes to school. Sons are big like toshu and samar and stay with dad and her ex in laws

And after 2nd marraige no way that lady will go to 1st hubby house like anupama everyday okkk although her first hubby not married anyone yet 

Her in laws and sis in law are very good humans yet she never once go to hubby house after divorce - its called self respect 

Yes in social function or outside in laws meet she speak and even touch their feet and take blessings but never ever enter first hubby house again after she left after divorce 

And shes also 10th pass like anupama works in school as teacher only to support herself and her daughter. In court both her boys who were like 15, 18 years decided to stay with dad and daughter who was 5 with mom. 

She says if my sons marry than may be for tilak i will go that house but not enter ex hubby angan stand outside bless my son and new bahus and go to marriage hall. She has never gone to celebrate any festival or birthdays to ex hubby house. Her daughter who is both her sons real sister can go stay in house when wedding or any occasion is there with brother or father its her will. She is 14 now. 

This is called real divorce by a woman and self respect all pppl respect her a lot for how she conducted herself after divorce 

Ohh by the way that first hubby is not even as bad as vanraj he did not do any EMA etc with another woman etc hes no womanizer 

People are different, different strokes for different folks. My dear friend got divorced cos her husband cheated on her with their babysitter. Her ex put the babysitter through university, the babysitter got a great job, but the babysitter ended up cheating on the man. My friend at the time of her marriage to the man, was a stay at home mom. When his new wife cheated on him and he had no nowhere to go, my friend took him in, he was a mess and heartbroken cos he was cheated on. He had done the same to my friend years before, cheated on her ie. My friend let him live in her house for 8 months and took in his kid from the other woman. My friend had zero interest in her ex and when I asked her why she was being this insanely kind to her ex, she said he was the father of her two kids and they still had a relationship with him and for that sake she had taken him in. She said she took care of the husband’s little boy because the kid was innocent plus he looked like her own son at that age. 

Her husband has since remarried another woman, my friend is still happily single. She regularly visits her ex in laws who still consider her their daughter in law. 

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Sorry Sir/Ma'am, I am not willing to engage in any discussion further especially related to culture and traditions because I stand by the fact that this show does a gross misrepresentation of culture and traditions which I strongly detest and by what it looks like, you seem to be aligned on it.

That said, neither I claim authority of religion, culture or traditions and I am sure you do not too but certain beliefs are personal and let us clearly agree to disagree.

No hard feelings, I am not personally aligned to what is being shown here, I am pretty conservative, but that is neither here nor there. These things (EXs coming together at their children’s weddings) do happen as I have witnessed it myself in real life. What works for you and me, may not work for others. And this is after all a fictional show.