More proof Anuj needs a parenting class - Page 2

Originally posted by: Time_to_move_on

I totally agree Aadya's behavior is unacceptable. No matter what Anupama did, Aadya cannot push elders, badmouth her adoptive mother, and try to hurt her mom by forcing her dad to marry someone he doesn't love. The adopted child is being shown in very bad light. Some viewers who are not wise enough will think adopted children are not good for a family's well-being.

If Aadya's insecurities are not corrected, she will do the same to Shruti. What if Shru becomes her dad's wife and gives birth to a child? That baby will be much much younger and hence, both Shruti and Anuj may prioritise the baby. In that case, will Aadya start hating them too? 

Both Anupama and Anuj are responsible for this mess. The former left CA without clarifying her stance, while the latter allowed the hatred to breed to this extent! 

More revisionist history.

People are still spreading the message that abusive evil elders should be treated with respect. Why? How is this different than people being forced to respect evil Baa? This is how abusive elders are whitewashed. Respect needs to be earned, an evil women who abandoned a 9 year old adopted child earns no respect. 

Also why are you assuming she will be jealous of any babies? She was insecure because Anupama a abandoned her again and again and again and again. For her grown up kids and ex husband and pari. Every single time. 

There is no proof she is jealous or insecure in a normal situation. A normal parent won't ditch their first child if another child is born. 

I guess makers have succeeded in their plans  where they have made a big number of audience brainwashed enough to forget about what actually happened and they are spinning fantasies about Adhya hating on someone's baby. 

Originally posted by: Harish111

How was is not true? Are we watching the same show? There was ZERO misconception. Anupama abandoned her again and again and again for Shahs, throughout the 2-3 years she had CA. 

Are people not watching the show at all and just making stuff up?

I will repeat there was ZERO misconception, Anupama chose Shahs EVERY time over her adopted daughter. 

To hate someone who abandoned her as a kid is not being a brat, it's a natural thing. What reason did anupmaa have for walking away? Because she is a selfish vile woman who abandoned a child she adopted and ran away like a coward?

There is a lot of attempt recently at revisionist history, but viewers don't have such short term memories. There was no misconception or misunderstanding, Anupama always chose Shahs over her daughter and then like an evil coward left her and ran away for 5 years.

 

I'm amazed ki log ek child ko ek adult ki tarah perceive kar rahe hain! Aise to trauma adults tak ko paralize kar deta hai, Aadya to bacchi hai! 

Ye log behaviour correction me lage hain!! Hamare field (Mental Health and social work) me aise aunties uncles ki kami nahi jo apna moral judgement leker chale aate hain, aur clients ko aur jyada traumatize kar dete hain.

Inme se jyadatar to achhe trained bhi nahi hote aur kuch achhi training ke bavjud Khaps jaisa bartav karte hain. 

Field se bahar ke insaan ke bare me bada casually kah diya jata hai ki ye log unaware hain isliye wo kuch samjh nahi paate. Jabki yaha to field me kaam kar rhe log hi unable hain kuch samjhne me to wo dusro ko kya hi aware karenge aur kya hi clients ki madad karenge!

Originally posted by: LoLo

Both Anuj and Adhya or whatever were being influenced by others. I don’t agree with leaving your child, but if she stayed where would it have ended? As she said, “if there are so many complaints, how will the relation last?” If we want to get down to it, wasn’t Choti’s adoption the beginning of Anuj and Anupamaa’s problems? Maya and her drama and their first separation? Couldn’t Anupamaa hate her now too? Let’s agree to disagree here. A child who hates so much in her heart needs help. Her disrespect of both parents shows that. She would have eventually ended her parents’ relationship anyway. Are we to believe that if Shruti becomes Anuj’s wife, all will be well with CA/Adhya? What’s to stop her from ending their relationship if she feels wronged?

As far as the car accident she knew CA would be fine if she didn’t move, but Kinjal and Pari were in immediate danger. If I’m wrong about that, sorry. I just know all the screaming and pushing of Anupamaa is disrespectful and unacceptable, and I stand behind that.

If there are so many complaints, relation can still last by working on those issues instead of running away. Otherwise no relations would last ever.

CA’s adoption has never been the issue, its how Anupama and Shahs treated CA after adoption is the issue.

How convenient it is to say problems started because of CA and her adoption, while totally neglecting the fact that Anupama a married woman with a little child kept on running to her Ex’s house at the drop of a hat, they were treating her like a slave, like a maid and she let them do that and made her current family suffer. They literally threw her out of Shah house on multiple occasions and all she could say was Mei aaungi Mei aaungi, mere Baa Bapuji Mere bachche - who btw never respected her.

Its Anupamaa who needs help, she has God Complex, she wants everything and everyone, she cannot choose one at a time or cannot prioritise. She has Stockholm Syndrome. Not just was she attached with her Ex Husband post divorce but with the woman who broke her first marriage.

She would have eventually ended her parents’ relation anyway? Are we serious while saying this? The child adjusted as much as she could, when she had nightmares, panic attacks, fever, school commitments, packing her own tiffin to getting ready for school.

Its Anupamaa and Shahs and her behavior that has led to ending her second marriage too. She git enough chances and opportunities on a platter but she could value none.

Originally posted by: LoLo

Both Anuj and Adhya or whatever were being influenced by others. I don’t agree with leaving your child, but if she stayed where would it have ended? As she said, “if there are so many complaints, how will the relation last?” If we want to get down to it, wasn’t Choti’s adoption the beginning of Anuj and Anupamaa’s problems? Maya and her drama and their first separation? Couldn’t Anupamaa hate her now too? Let’s agree to disagree here. A child who hates so much in her heart needs help. Her disrespect of both parents shows that. She would have eventually ended her parents’ relationship anyway. Are we to believe that if Shruti becomes Anuj’s wife, all will be well with CA/Adhya? What’s to stop her from ending their relationship if she feels wronged?

As far as the car accident she knew CA would be fine if she didn’t move, but Kinjal and Pari were in immediate danger. If I’m wrong about that, sorry. I just know all the screaming and pushing of Anupamaa is disrespectful and unacceptable, and I stand behind that.

So because a selfish, evil woman couldnt love an adopted child, you will blame adoption itself? This is the regressive mentality this show is pushing in society, now people are questioning adoptation itself. 

A child deserve to hate a selfish vile woman who adopted her and then ran away. Its a completely normal thing to do. And then she also deserves to hate a simp who will go back to the same evil woman. That woman doesn't deserve any respect,

The relationship ended because Anupama was obsessed with her ex and spent 90% of time serving them. It had nothing to do with CA or anyone else. It was always doomed because she never had time for her new family, she never respected Anuj and his relationships like she did Shahs, she had the same behavior with MD after all the - bado ki izzat karni chahiye - jaap. Blaming breakup on a kid is very convenient. 

I cannot believe some of the posts i am reading here, instead of blaming the stupid evil woman who was so obsessed with her exes that she abandoned a loving husband and kid, people are really blaming a 9 year old kid and adoption process? There should be a case against this show for spreading such regressive thinking in society

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

She would have eventually ended her parents’ relation anyway? Are we serious while saying this? The child adjusted as much as she could, when she had nightmares, panic attacks, fever, school commitments, packing her own tiffin to getting ready for school.

This show has exposed a lot of people's mentality in our society, biggest proof of how just education does not make someone open minded or progressive. Blaming a 9 year old adopted kid for feeling angry about being abandoned by a stupid, selfish, evil woman obsessed with her ex, has to be the height of regressiveness.

Originally posted by: Harish111

This show has exposed a lot of people's mentality in our society, biggest proof of how just education does not make someone open minded or progressive. Blaming a 9 year old adopted kid for feeling angry about being abandoned by a stupid, selfish, evil woman obsessed with her ex, has to be the height of regressiveness.

I would really like to know what you guys think,

If Anupama and Anuj had their own child instead of an adopted one, what do you all think, she would have done the same things she did, would have treated the biological child same way she did to CA and at last would’ve abandoned them and left like this?

If the answer is No, we all know why she differentiated between CA and rest of her kids or between CA Anuj and rest of the Shah family.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

I would really like to know what you guys think,

If Anupama and Anuj had their own child instead of an adopted one, what do you all think, she would have done the same things she did, would have treated the biological child same way she did to CA and at last would’ve abandoned them and left like this?

If the answer is No, we all know why she differentiated between CA and rest of her kids or between CA Anuj and rest of the Shah family.

https://twitter.com/Sahil56140950/status/1753649993444208822?s=19

This picture says it all.

He needs therapy more than parenting class.

Who at age of 50 behaves in front of his child like a maniac.when he knows that adhya gets triggered even on the the name of anupama, why the hell was he chanting anu anu anu without taking a pause.

For every parent,  well being of a child comes first. but isko apne aur apni anu ke emotions ke alawa kuch najar nahi aata. 

Ya toh rota rahega ya bottle todna shuru kar dega. Pehle khud ke emotions par control toh kar le. 

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

I would really like to know what you guys think,

If Anupama and Anuj had their own child instead of an adopted one, what do you all think, she would have done the same things she did, would have treated the biological child same way she did to CA and at last would’ve abandoned them and left like this?

If the answer is No, we all know why she differentiated between CA and rest of her kids or between CA Anuj and rest of the Shah family.

This has nothing to do with adoptive children per se. Aisa kahna ki CA ke saath jo hua hai wo adoptive parents ke karan hua hai. Adoptive children ke sath issues ek alag broad area hai, jis par alag se depth me baat honi chahiye.

Is show me jaisa dikhaya gya hai, aisa sab kuch sage bachho ke saath khoob hota hai.

Pakhi ka character kahi ka eent aur kahi ka roda types hai.

Generally jin gharo me Anupamaa jaisi doormat aurate aur Vanraj jaise controlling aur abusive mard hote hain, us gharo ki betiyaan Dolly aur Pakhi jaisi nahi hoti. Wo to jabardasti Anupamaa ko ultimate victim aur Vanraj ko achha pita/Bhai dikhane ke liye create kiye gaye characters hain.

Yaha forums par kai women aise faltu claim karke chali jati hain ki sari takleef wives ko kyon sahni padti hai? Jabki reality to ye hai ki wives ke sath ensaan ho ya na ho (jo ek alag mudda hai, kyonki yaha justice to hardly kisi ko milta hai) lekin uske saath abuse ka social recognition hai. In-laws aur husband ke against baat kahi ja sakti hai aur log is par yakeen bhi karte hain. Chahe wo kitna bhi mild form of abuse kyo na ho (ye mai defence ke liye nahi kah rhi)

Lekin jab fathers/brothers ghar ki bacchiyo ko abuse karte hain to use unka pyar mana jata hai, us par baat nahi ki ja sakti. I mean kisi se bhi nahi. Honor/prestige ki to baat hoti hi hai. Saath hi therapists/so called broadminded log bhi unke sath ho rahe abuse ko justify karte hain kyonki wo apni soch ka projection karke reality ko deny karne ki puri koshish karte hain.

Isliye... Anupamaa ne jo CA ke sath kiya.. waisa to generation by generation kai women apni betiyo (sabhi betiyo ke saath nahi) ke saath karti aai hain.

Ghar ke kisi ek bachhe ko (usually girl child) scapegoat bana diya jata hai, jahan us bachhe par Maa ki unavailability aur Baap/Bhai ki violent tendencies ke saath adjust krne aur unke emotions ke hisab se khud ko regulate karne ka bahut high pressure hota hai.

I am one such woman. I have lived this reality throughout my life.

Mothers neglect one of her girl child who is sensitive, accomodating and who feels the pain of her mother. What starts as empathizing with mother's loss of autonomy, her story of abuse/injustices, soon it gets transformed into a never ending cycle of neglect and abuse by her own mother.

These mothers would gladly give their times to neighbours/distant relatives/TV serials but they would hardly find even one minute to look at her daughter's face.

My mother used to care for my elder sister, my two brothers and for other family members. But she used to forget even buying essential clothing items for me (ex: underwears, warm clothes, shoes). She would encourage me to endure everything and would shut me up instantly whenever I tried to talk about her negligence.

She made me so shy and reserved that I couldn't ask her for to buy sanitary pads for me. Women were not allowed to buy things for themselves, their movements were stricted except my elder sister. Even with the regressive norms, she had permission to ride bikes and was pampered with everything. Elder sister never shared her things with me and my mother taught me to obey her unconditionally.

My cousins too were neglected by their mothers. Now, I am a psychologist with social work background I worked with women coming from different backgrounds having similar stories of neglect and abuse by their parents, especially mothers. 

People who are lucky enough to recieved mother's care throughout their lives won't be able to understand the trauma of such children.

More often than not these mothers experienced the same with their own mothers. But they don't repeat the cycle of abuse with everyone. 

Even in this show, CA was very accomodating, kind and sensitive beyond her age. 

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

I would really like to know what you guys think,

If Anupama and Anuj had their own child instead of an adopted one, what do you all think, she would have done the same things she did, would have treated the biological child same way she did to CA and at last would’ve abandoned them and left like this?

If the answer is No, we all know why she differentiated between CA and rest of her kids or between CA Anuj and rest of the Shah family.

If the justification of her neglect and actions is her prior commitment to the 3 bachche, then no matter what, she wouldn't bond with the child.

If the justification of her neglect and actions is "apna khoon", I might l, just might have some hope of her involvement in the parenting.

Nonetheless, I doubt she will ever be able to cut her chord with Shahs.