Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - Agastya - Imlie perspectives

Hello forum wasis, 

Here I am. With another short take on the differing perspectives of Agastya and Imlie - the beloved jodi of Gen3. Agastya and Imlie are married with a marriage of convenience. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is one of the most analytical book I have ever read on how the expectations differ for both Men and Women when they are in a relationship. Men usually look for "Fixing Things/Getting a job done" whereas on the other hand Women look for emotional attachment. So here I am highlighting few of the things the characters have done so far and how it matches up with this brilliant book. 

Agastya - A cool, calculative guy. He got forced into marriage due to the zidd of Dadiamma and then figured out that the marriage was a scam. So he needed something that would help him gain an upper hand. So he goes and proposes to Imlie for a contract marriage. 

- The problem was he needed a wife to get the business and he needed to marry someone to "Get the Job Done". So viola here he was bargaining with Imlie that she become his contract wife. Agastya till that point whatever might have been his feelings at least saw Imlie and her dedication towards work when Imlie was Intern chef at his place. Agastya could have at least talked to her and explained to her what he was thinking.  But nope he displayed the typical Martian behavior and just wanted Imlie to be a puppet in the relationship. 

- Imlie who was trying her level best to arrange for funds for her Ashuwa's surgery did everything that she could do, in fact even agreeing to do a public performance. She was insulted by Amrit yet the never say ever spirit that was her did not accept defeat. She agreed for the marriage only to save her nephew's life. But even during the fake marriage, Imlie does promise Agastya that whatever might be their relationship now on for the next 6 months, she will doing everything to the best of her ability. This was her Venusian feelings which she can not leave even when this marriage was a contract marriage. 

- Agastya got trapped in the false blame game of starting a fire in the office by using cheap materials and bypassing the fire protocol standards. He was arrested but he was sure that he did not do any wrong. As a Man, he knows when he is wrong and trusts his ability to get out of problems. That is why he was not overtly scared. Imlie who is more emotional got blackmailed by Amrit that Agastya could be in jail for a very long time and to save him she went ahead and did the program in the bar. Because she was afraid of not being supported she unknowingly pushed away the support that she could have had if she just confided in her partner - Agastya.   

- Agastya could have asked for the reason why Imlie did what she did but nope he decided to "Fix the problem" by asking Imlie to move out of his life. Agastya has repeatedly read Imlie's actions wrong but he does not learn from them. "Learning from mistakes helps prevent the repetition of negative patterns". 

- Now here comes Chutki ka rokaa and Dadiamma wants Imlie to be back. If only Agastya went and told Imlie that she was needed as it was the question of his younger sister's marriage alliance, Imlie would have come back asap and would have even asked for forgiveness from everyone for hurting them. Even though Imlie was holding on to the hurt that Agastya did not ask her for clarification she would have forgone everything if only Agastya told the reason why he wants her back. Did Agastya do that ? Nope he went ahead and bought her house, her bar and fired her because Agastya believes in eliminating all the things that will help Imlie refuse his offer.

- Imlie is back not because of Agastya but because her emotional heart melted when Chacha and Chachi told her that they trust her and know why she did what she did. All Imlie wants is understanding and that she got from Chacha - Chachi and that is why she came back. 

We construct and deconstruct our view of relationships and people based on their actions and based on our understanding. That is what Agastya and Imlie are doing right now. Agastya is unintentionally thinking that Imlie is a gold digger whereas Imlie is thinking that Agastya is a heartless person who just sees his means and nothing else. Both of that is so far from the truth. Agastya is a fair person if only Imlie could peel the layers off and see and Imlie is so full of love and giving if only Agastya looked deep enough. 

"Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences" and ”When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom". It will take a long time for these 2 to keep aside their differences and see the other person for what they are and we are in for an angst filled emotional ride. 

*Italic Blue - Typical behavior matching the one that is laid out in the book. 

*Italic Red - Actual quotes from the book

Comments discussions most welcome.

Wow, this is such an insightful post. Haven't read this book (it is very popular and have heard a lot about it) so nothing much to contribute from my side about the book. 

But the behavioral patterns between Imlie and Agastya are rightly noted by you. 

He has a misunderstanding that is deep due to his prejudices. Some of the misunderstanding is due to circumstances, some his own doing and some driven by Imlie and her own actions. 

Sadly despite being married (contract), they still have not developed any sort of understanding and an open line of communication. He will not tell her his reasons of why he married her on contract, the issues and skeletons of his past, what majboori he has that she returns. Similarly, she chooses not to tell him the truth of her circumstances and majboori. If they allow these things to foster, it will take a very long time for them to make their way to each other. It's going to be a marathon but they will reach each other eventually. 

The show has some amazing aesthetics and very interesting tracks. Their characters are written well and I can't wait to see how they develop it further. 

Originally posted by: joliefemme

Wow, this is such an insightful post. Haven't read this book (it is very popular and have heard a lot about it) so nothing much to contribute from my side about the book. 

But the behavioral patterns between Imlie and Agastya are rightly noted by you. 

He has a misunderstanding that is deep due to his prejudices. Some of the misunderstanding is due to circumstances, some his own doing and some driven by Imlie and her own actions. 

Sadly despite being married (contract), they still have not developed any sort of understanding and an open line of communication. He will not tell her his reasons of why he married her on contract, the issues and skeletons of his past, what majboori he has that she returns. Similarly, she chooses not to tell him the truth of her circumstances and majboori. If they allow these things to foster, it will take a very long time for them to make their way to each other. It's going to be a marathon but they will reach each other eventually. 

The show has some amazing aesthetics and very interesting tracks. Their characters are written well and I can't wait to see how they develop it further. 

The book is really good yaar. Try to get a hand on it. 

One thing I am really glad here is that Agastya ka character is sketched really good - His prejudice, him getting  constant remainders of his mother's profession, his insecurities. I love that even though Agastya is an alpha male he does get bogged down when it comes to satisfying his family ka priorities. Then he reverts to this - Either My way or Highway ka approach thereby woh raitha phila deta hain. 

It is not as if Agastya is not emotional. He was in tears when he saw Imlie tending to her wounds on her feet during the pehle rasoi thing. He just fears putting his heart out and getting hurt as he doesn't trust the profession of Imlie. And Imlie doing everything for money till now hasn't given him good impression either. If only Agsatya knew why Imlie was behind money all the time, maybe his perspective will change. 

Yes they both are destined for each other. The marriage is legal and they are not going to go separate - no matter what. The story of their ups and downs would be beautiful to watch given that they both will feel attraction and angst equally. 

I am absolutely loving the title song - Teri Meri Teri Kahani hain yeah. Can't wait to see the love start between these two.

Wow 🤩 What a lovely post Sharada !! 

Beautiful post  sharada...really enjoyed reading this❤