Gender Roles In the Household..

DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Hello Hello.. 

This is my very first post in debate forum but this is something very personal and something I strongly feel about. I would love to know what everyone here thinks so lets get it started.. 

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I come across remarks like "You're fortunate your spouse lends a hand with the household tasks." And, I bet most of you have heard it too. However, what does 'being lucky' imply here? When asked this question and told that men usually do not partake in domestic work as women do, my response is obvious- persuasively prompting them to consider altering such stereotypical gender roles.

The differential treatment of boys and girls can originate in primary socialization settings such as families, as evidenced by the prevailing belief that one gender is more valuable than the other. This notion is usually mirrored in parental behavior towards their children with regard to gendered division of domestic labor. Generally, household tasks are segregated based on gender whereby boys tend to receive maintenance chores like lawnmowing or furniture assembly whereas girls are assigned cooking and cleaning duties. Consequently, this sort of chore segregation communicates distinct roles for each sex within a family setting.

Living in the same house, both parties have equal responsibility and contribution towards maintaining the household. Therefore, it is unfair to consider his chores as a favor done for me since we share common spaces and use the same laundry facilities. Although I enjoy cooking and he enjoys cleaning, people tend to overemphasize his contributions while belittling mine. Why is it that cleaning becomes appreciated but cooking remains expected of me? Furthermore, even when attempting new tasks like painting a wall which my mother-in-law voiced reluctance about my ability to do so rather than suggesting support or helpful advice; why should these actions be limited by gender role expectations?

Not long ago, we had a little girl over at our place who was surprised to see my husband in the kitchen. Her father explained that men help out at home outside of India. I found his statement quite jarring because why are we making distinctions based on countries? This is more about an embedded mindset than any specific culture. In fact, whether it's within or beyond India’s borders, gender equality needs to be normalized when it comes to household chores. Ironing clothes happens across genders too — for instance, if he irons my clothes then he's helping just as much as I am by ironing his own shirts. Deciding what tasks one will perform solely based on their gender has no logical basis and is regressive thinking!

It can be difficult to accept the idea of a household being managed by two equal partners, but working together as a team in domestic matters has significant positive implications for one's professional life. It demonstrates that both individuals are competent and capable of managing responsibilities in all aspects of life, not just at work. In turn, this allows couples to fully dedicate themselves to their professional aspirations without stress or distractions from home duties. This more productive career outlook translates into greater opportunities for career advancement and personal growth – it’s truly a win-win situation!


Share your thoughts on what you think about gender equality in the household? 

Do you believe in gender equality in homes or believe traditional values dominate household?  

Edited by DiscoDhokla - 10 months ago

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DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Aajao share your thoughts on gender roles in a household ... 

Edited by DiscoDhokla - 10 months ago
DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Aajao share your thoughts on gender roles in a household ... 

DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Aajao saare  share your thoughts on gender roles in a household ... 

SarafWasima thumbnail
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Posted: 10 months ago

Thanks for the tag! I didn’t know you are married. 😲😳


First comes first. I totally agree that household chores have been assigned as gender roles since ages. Which is in no way acceptable or even normal. I get pissed when my father goes by the statement: ladki ko khaana banana aana chahiye sasural mein kaam aayega, family ki dekhbhal karegi. I mean, no way mister. Cooking is a basic life skill & should be known to any boy or girl for their own benefit & survival. He would ignore whenever I say to teach the same to my brothers as someday they will be married as well. Expecting such from all girls is sooo (I can’t even describe the frustration). When it comes to technical stuff, he would assume that I can’t do it since I’m petite & look fragile but he won’t bother to ask. Man, only I know my own capabilities so please stop being the flag bearer of some duties! 😕


md410 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 months ago

I believe that all the responsibilities should be share equally. There should be no gender specificities  

vibecheck thumbnail
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Posted: 10 months ago

i agree with your points. women are expected to do house chores, take care of their husbands, in-laws, kids. as soon as men offer any kind of contribution, it's considered to be some kind of ehsaan that they are doing on their wives. they get put on a pedestal for doing the bare minimum, like it's their house too and the kids are theirs too. it makes no sense for it to be considered "helping out" when they do something around their own house and take care of their own kids 🤦🏽‍♀️ 

DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Originally posted by: SarafWasima

Thanks for the tag! I didn’t know you are married. 😲😳


First comes first. I totally agree that household chores have been assigned as gender roles since ages. Which is in no way acceptable or even normal. I get pissed when my father goes by the statement: ladki ko khaana banana aana chahiye sasural mein kaam aayega, family ki dekhbhal karegi. I mean, no way mister. Cooking is a basic life skill & should be known to any boy or girl for their own benefit & survival. He would ignore whenever I say to teach the same to my brothers as someday they will be married as well. Expecting such from all girls is sooo (I can’t even describe the frustration). When it comes to technical stuff, he would assume that I can’t do it since I’m petite & look fragile but he won’t bother to ask. Man, only I know my own capabilities so please stop being the flag bearer of some duties! 😕


hahaha, I am 😂.

But thank you for replying and yes. This is so common omg ! My parents do it too. My mom is like your brother cooks despite being a boy and your sister cannot cook. I always say cooking is a life skill and cooking doesnt define your gender. I get so so mad ! They both are almost the same age and they often get compared and it makes me so mad. Like you said about tech right same thing happens in my house too my dad asks my husband when he has tech related issues and I am like why do you think I can't help you. Seriously Saraf it riles me up so much. I totally understand your frustration.

DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Originally posted by: md410

I believe that all the responsibilities should be share equally. There should be no gender specificities  

Thanks for replying 💕. And right responsibilities are just responsibilities irrespective of the gender. And maybe in olden times due to lack of education and lack of opportunities people had some specific mindset but times have changed and the whole gender line imo is getting blurry. 

DiscoDhokla thumbnail
Posted: 10 months ago

Originally posted by: vibecheck

i agree with your points. women are expected to do house chores, take care of their husbands, in-laws, kids. as soon as men offer any kind of contribution, it's considered to be some kind of ehsaan that they are doing on their wives. they get put on a pedestal for doing the bare minimum, like it's their house too and the kids are theirs too. it makes no sense for it to be considered "helping out" when they do something around their own house and take care of their own kids 🤦🏽‍♀️ 

Thanks Vibeyyy for responding. 💛 

Right, men are put on pedestal for bare minimum and same thing is considered ha toh kya hua isne kiya toh when women does it. Exactly my point - house is shared, kids are shared then why are responsibilities belong only to woman. 

Growing up I saw my mom manage job, manage us and house. Tab samajh nahi aaya but now I feel so bad for not being supportive enough as a kid. I regret not making her a cup of coffee when she came back from work. I never saw my dad help but my dad would be like make me a cup of tea / coffee when both would be so tired after work. All these life instances I feel shaped me and made me who I am today. I have strong opinions on what I feel is wrong and how I want to correct it for myself