Originally posted by: mango.falooda
just some random real life related questions inspired by reel stories. can you see or feel for yuvraj? or do you see papaG's side more?
tag 2.0
Thanks for tag mango ... Will come back after a while and read it 🙂
Originally posted by: wrongturn722
One thing that's for sure a out this show is it displays things the way they would be in real life or practically like TVF shows where everything feels so relatable because of the way they are presented...
And here also, this is so true as it happens...
Well atleast in my family... I was a bright student from the beginning and my younger brother was an average or initially somewhat below average... Then youngest is sister who was bright too...
Now while me and my sister scored good grades, it became like common for us and it was nothing new anymore... And my brother whenever he did better, he was being praised.. and that's good too to boost his confidence..
But now, I cleared entrance, completed the course my parents always wanted... (Even though I didn't have much interest) and now I'm working... But now I'm saying that atleast I want to deviate a bit and follow what I want instead of conventional what's the world doing and now mamy a times I looked down... They are like kya rakha hai usme.. kya fayda hoga usse... Bade kaise banoge usme jaake... But my ideology is different... I mean yeah money is important but I want peace too... I don't want working all day everyday, instead I'll be okay with a bit less money but with peace of my mind...
And my brother changed stream as he was unable to cope up with previous and in this seems like he is liking it... Many a times he is scolded upon but recently I've seen that my parents have stopped mocking him and they have left him to continue at his own pace and do things the way he wants... But I'm still looked as I'll achieve something great and will make them proud... It happens that parents attach a certain thought to their one child in which another one often gets sidelined... But what I do is I don't say anything to my brother, atleast he is finally doing what he gets interest in .. and as for me... I'm hoping that my parents understand that I achieved what they wanted and now I want to pursue my interest in the same field for future.
Thanks for tag btw...
thanks for sharing wrongturn; there are lots of generational differences when it comes to choosing our path/career. the previous generation was so focused on money because survival was more important. now that we are in a comfortable position, our generations also want to think about things like quality of life. but because there is so much difference in experience and expectation between the two generations, there is a lot of conflict just like you shared. best of luck and I hope you are able to chart your path amidst your parents expectations.
in this drama, I think yuvraj would have been 100% times more happy if he didn't have to work for the business. perhaps if aditya had been around, yuvi would have had the freedom to do something of his choice, something he could possibly do well in. maybe not super achiever type but for his ability, be happy. here yuvi is so miserable because he is not able to apply whatever papaG is trying to teach him. if he focuses on cutting cost, papaG yells at him for sarcificing quality but all businesses need to focused on the bottom line as well. so yuvi has lots of money at his disposal but where is the peace? for him, not being appreciating is causing so much hurt and frustration and he is going to bring chaos and storm as he makes questionable choices...
Originally posted by: Viaanrocks
thought provoking post👏
I will confess while watching Garewal's scene as just see it as filler scene..
But if we connect it to the real world as your post has done, this scenario has so much of depth....
how can parents make their children feel valued? how can parents note their appreciation for the boring, responsible ways the child stands by them?
I believe aadi is elder than Yuvraj here. In most of the cases more than based on talent and abilities, parents have a special soft corner for the first born..
Subconsciously they treat them extra special..
Added to it aadi is dead and last memories of him with PapaG is not good. So PapaG must have that guilt and feeling of emptiness with him..
Mainly because of this reason he continues to ignore yuvraj ..
The thing here is communication..
Children should convey what they are feeling to parent. Then they can act up on it..
In the show papaG doesn't seem to know/care about the hurt he is causing to yuvraj..
Yuvraj should bring it to him before reaching the saturation point .
In the show in 14 or 15 th epi when katha went to papaG restaurant for money. They showed a scene where in kitchen papaG was not happy with the way yuvraj was dealing with Chef but he made him understand this coolly and calmly..
He can have the same approach now too..
I find the Gfamily interesting because of the real life implications. so I always roll my eyes when ITV does magic healing in families when we all know that these kind of real issues are far more complicated.
so you raised a good point that papaG may not be aware of how yuvraj is feeling at all. yuvraj did express his frustration that papaG is always questioning him even though he is trying. but perhaps, he hasn't communicated how he feels undervalued especially when he is made to feel like he has to fill aditya's shoes. so a question would be -- how does one communicate those feelings so that the other person will listen? what will it take for the parent for the understand their actions? am curious to see how the makers go about that..
Who is favourite definitely changes through out life, I guess it depends who doing better at the time. We had a situation a decade back with mum, so I had to throw my life away and look after home while elder bro could concentrate on work. Not much of a life anyway was always sick so I was fine with it.
Problem more likely is no one but you realise the sacrifices your making, we all stuck in our own bubble. Covid maybe made us all explode like pressure cooker but now we back to back to normal being selfish again haha.
I’m always piggy in the middle between my parents and bro, like why don’t they cut me out and just talk to each other lol. It just stupid small things like why he has radiator on and window open in his new house etc. Cause he dumb? I don’t know lol. It exhausting so I drown out now. Communication is key with the right person, at the right time and place.
I don’t think Papa G should dress Yuvraj down in front of his wife, gives the idea that his wife can do the same cause even his parents don’t respect him. It’s not enough to get scolded but then your wife puts final nail in the coffin.
I doubt Aditya was so perfect. After death, he was put on a pedestal that no one else can reach. Even if the son is far and hardly visiting you would think the sun shines out of them, cause you not putting up with their real self day to day. Truth is we don’t respect those close and always there for you cause they boring, predictable. We like new shiny stuff and limited contact to bring that freshness out. Yuvraj probably should have moved out and had something of his own work wise, probably would have appreciated him more if he was successful in his own right.
PapaG and Yuvraj need a heart to heart like he did with Katha, there are so many unsaid things between the father and son.
Should never compare your kids against each other or other kids in general it just makes them bitter towards the one you comparing them with. Kids are individuals and not clones.
Ok tired of blabbing, unsure if I answered the questions 🤣
Originally posted by: mango.falooda
as promised, here is my new papaG related post. 😂
this is a continuation of the previous adult child-parent conflict. seeing the feelings of yuvraj, I think it would be rather mean and much like papaG if I was to club him in the old thread. 😆 so it seemed appropriate to have a separate part II to this conflict. if you haven't read part I, you can read it here.
the conflict with yuvraj is a different dynamic as opposed to aditya and is just as real. so with every section, I have put questions for thought -- feel free to respond, reflect, discuss. the point of this thread is not about who is to blame or whether papaG or yuvraj is at fault. just as with with aditya (part I of adult child-parent conflict), this thread is also about looking at adult-child parent conflict dynamics and asking if these are issues that can be resolved.
forgotten like the furniture in the house
yuvraj represents all the adults who are the boring, responsible child but not appreciated by their parents necessarily. it does not matter that yuvraj is the one that is there physically in the house and standing by papaG. but his parents don't necessarily see or value what yuvraj is adding to the house.
it is not that papaG does not love yuvraj, he definitely does but whatever good yuvraj does is taken for granted. it is not seen as anything special that yuvraj stuck by his parents after aditya left. it is not seen as anything special that yuvraj continues to live with his parents even if he has conflict with his father. it is not seen as anything special that yuvraj chose to work with his father instead of elsewhere.
there is nothing that shines about yuvraj. instead, it is aditya who they miss and chat about constantly. even when aditya is no longer there, his ghost seems to linger.
while this may seem like a drama conflict, it plays out in real life as well. sometimes these stories are shared with a sense of comedy mingled with underlying frustration.
a colleague once sarcastically said how he may be the child who takes their parents to hospital at 2 in the morning, buys medicines, keeps track but the parents are super excited to see the brother who lives in another city/country. that other brother and family gets non-veg food while he and his family only gets old veg diet food when they visit. if he complains, his mom tells him to order through swiggy or take them out to eat. 🤣🤣
in osthe, the tamil movie version of dabaang, the ML hilariously fights with his mom about the thickness of the dosa. how his younger brother gets the crispy version while he gets the fat blob with old chutney. 🤣🤣 while these stories are hilarious, it shows that people feel valued in the small actions. sometimes we are in need of these small gestures that we matter and that we are not forgotten.
Q. so here is the question for forum members:
how can parents make their children feel valued? how can parents note their appreciation for the boring, responsible ways the child stands by them?
if you are an adult child who feels they are not acknowledged, how do you deal with it? how do you communicate those feelings to your parents? do you think it can change to a more healthier dynamic?
for those members with teenage children, how do you make your child feel appreciated? and in reverse, do you feel your children appreciate you for what you do?
or on a general note, are we present and acknowledge the family members who quietly do things in the background? do we appreciate them? how can we make them feel valued?
the problem of being average
yuvraj represents all the adults who are very average and outshone by their siblings and friends; so they seem a constant disappointment to their parents. it does not help that yuvraj clearly does not have the business acumen.
in some ways, papaG's fears and irritation is justified. many generational business fail after the owner passes away and it is because the second or third generation have no idea how to operate a business. at the same time, can papaG guide in a better way? is it yuvraj's problem that he is not able to pick up what papaG is trying to teach him or is this because papaG is not a good teacher? but if yuvraj does not have the aptitude, would it matter if papaG was not as harsh? how can this conflict be resolved?
katha tries to encourage yuvraj by reminding him that aditya appreciated and loved yuvi but it seems that her efforts are in vain. is it yuvraj's problem then only? is there nothing that can be done to help lift their hearts when you see a family member struggling?
Q. so here is the question for forum members:
how do you deal with your feelings of being outshone? how do you find a sense of security in yourself even if you are average? how do you forge a path for yourself where you are content and feel you are putting your best foot forward?
how do you feel about constantly disapointing your parents and how does that affect your relationship with them? do you believe this can be something that can be fixed with time?
do you feel your averageness is impacting other relationships such as with your siblings? your cousins? your friends? are you able to have healthy relationships or do you feel you being average is impacting your social relationships? if you are like katha and seeing a family member struggle in this kind of issue, how do you respond?
as parents, how do you deal with your disappointments in your children? how do you communicate those feelings? are you trying to motivate them or you expressing your own frustrations? when is it time to let go and when is it time to lean in? are you making things better or worse through comparison?
"not enough"
yuvraj represents all the adults who feel invisible in their house and feel they are deemed "not enough" by all around them. it does not matter how hard they work, how much they give to the house with love but they feel unappreciated and unloved. this then leads to friction. yuvraj feels he cannot even miss aditya because he is made to feel resentful towards aditya for outshining even after death. yuvraj cannot fill the shoes of aditya regardless how hard he tries. if papaG is eating his head, reet does the same.
she goes from concern (when papaG is shouting at yuvi) to anger (when papaG mentions aditya) to derision (when she mocks yuvi that he has received his quota of insults for the day). so his conflict with papaG is spilling over to other parts of his life.
Q. so here is the question for forum members:
how do you support your spouse/partner/significant other when they feel undervalued by their own family? what should and should not be done?
if you feel that you are not valued because of the actions of your husband, how do you respond? if your feelings of your own insecurity is exasberated by what is going on with your in-laws, what is the best way forward?
if your loved one is dealing with the feelings of insecurity, how do you handle it? how do you see insecurity or feelings of anxiety affect other areas such as relationships with your children?
This is such a nice article .
It has so much depth .
The realtionship with a father and son ( even daughters) are not limited to the screen it's REAL .
Parents often take for granted whatever kids do for them , i am not telling they should be bending down in gratitude, but few gestures of love atleast a PAT ON THE BACK is enough for kids to be head over heels .
But this kind of appreciation is mostly lacking in homes .
It is tagged as common from childhood and we live with it . But as we grow up it creates insecurities within us . I have always felt that the insecurities and inferiority complex or lack of confidence is mostly because we are compared to the other person since childhood .
Like in Kjo's movie ---they are elder to us , but that doesn't give them the right to insult us .( Don't remember the Hindi version 🙂)
In real life i have heard stories for father filing legal case aganist son because he thought son is taking right of his property when he is just running the business 😬🤣
I am definitely not with papaG in scolding him infront of Reet . That is altogether a different issue .
thanks for sharing angel; you raise some interesting points. if someone doesn't appreciate what you have contributed, then do you need to communicate how you feel in order to resolve the problem? food for thought
in regards to what you and fruitbae pointed out papaG putting down yuvi in front of reet is an interesting issue. didn't think on that angle. since they are family, do they still need to chat it in private? does reet have a poor opinion of him because of papaG and that is negatively impacting their marriage? would reet have been more positive if papaG argued with yuvi only in office? some interesting questions there....
Originally posted by: mango.falooda
thanks for sharing angel; you raise some interesting points. if someone doesn't appreciate what you have contributed, then do you need to communicate how you feel in order to resolve the problem? food for thought
in regards to what you and fruitbae pointed out papaG putting down yuvi in front of reet is an interesting issue. didn't think on that angle. since they are family, do they still need to chat it in private? does reet have a poor opinion of him because of papaG and that is negatively impacting their marriage? would reet have been more positive if papaG argued with yuvi only in office? some interesting questions there....
From PapaG point of view he is scolding his son , he is not his enemy .
But for Reet he is father in law so is feeling bad for her husband , also she might be feeling that hee position in the house depends on his value in the home .(here she is treated quite well , but real life can change ).
They need not speak in private but the tone or the comparison can make a difference, special here when Aditya had left the home and Yuvi is taking care of everything being a responsible son still he is not valued .Such things can be spoken when they are sitting alone . Imagine he could have also left the home but he chose to stay as he didn't want his parents to feel bad or be sad .
Reet can still be bad as she has her own insecurities. Right from the time she has two daughters she is insecure . And now when Katha made na entry as a working independent women and also with boy child her insecurities are at heights.
But may be her taunting would have been less🤣
Thanks for the tag
I completely agree with your opinion.
This happens in case of multiple siblings and sometimes it can effect the sibling bond
Thanks for the tag
I completely agree with your opinion.
This happens in case of multiple siblings and sometimes it can effect the sibling bond
Indeed it happens in case of multiple siblings.. 🌝
First of all, how did you get the time to write a full encyclopedia. Kudos to your brain for processing all these thoughts. I really enjoyed reading it especially cause I'm one of those people who rarely cares to dissect the other characters if it's not the main lead lol.
To your point about parents and how they value their children differently or not, I think a lot of it has to do with their own upbringing and the culture they grew up in which goes on to reflect their own parenting skills later on. We don't know much about PapaG's background, but I'd like to believe that he might have dealt with something similar with his parents and is now using a similar way of parenting on Yuvi. Ideally speaking, every child should be treated equally by their parents regardless of whether the child lives with them or not, regardless of if the child is alive or not, regardless of how successful the children are. For example, if one is more successful than the other, that should never be used as a means to expect more or less from the other. Hell even if their child is smart, parents should not be having greater expectations from that child. They should appreciate them and motivate them so that they keep doing well, but not expect so much from them that their own child feels undervalued every time. In fact, I really think it's not fair for parents to expect anything from their children and comparing them with each other or with anyone else's kid is a big NO NO. Every child is unique and they should be appreciated and loved for who they are. I know PapaG has many expectations from Yuvi but he needs to question himself about his own parenting style and realize that Yuvi is not Adi.
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