FF: Ishq-e-Watan *Chapter 78 Posted* - Page 7

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mirai07 thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: NoeticLife

I am glad you like it! I had originally intended it to be nothing but something I wrote for my own entertainment and it was mostly a Moran centric story since they are my favorite ship.

That's my favourite ship too! 🙌

But then I changed my mind and I decided to keep this as a parallel track which would include all the things I wanted to see- missions, bonding and training with romance. Add in some backstories and some characters and it turned out pretty nice.

It didn't turn out pretty nice....It turned out amazing! ❤️


There is no quote option because that's reserved and can't be copied or quoted. It's to make sure people don't steal it (don't know who would but some said to do it, so I did.)

Actually, there is still a copy and paste option, I think. I may be wrong perhaps. There are more experience people who can tell you about it better.

I really loved detailed reactions. I love, love, love it. I might just not reserve it purely to hear what you have to say. 😆

Now, since you actually like detailed reactions, I'll give it. I enjoy giving it too! It's writing down monologues, except it's my monologue! 😂

I'll tag you every time! I am planning to update once a day. Hopefully, I'll be able to.

Did I say Thank you? No? Well, Thank you! I have two updated to read now! And I am excited at the fact that you are giving updates everyday.

You can always tell me what you want to see and if there is any particular scene or anything you would like to watch.

Ooo! I will, I will!....let's see how to take the story and then if I have any ideas I'll share!

I have a lot of ideas for bonds- between all six of the main leads, and also, between Sid-Bala, Suman ji-Monami, Suman ji-Koel, Karan-Chitra etc. Definitely a lot of team bonding and bonding as a team. Hope you'll like all of them. 👍🏼

Looking forward to reading them! Let me go through the chapter 3&4 and then I'll give  detail reactions to them!

mirai07 thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#62

Both the chapters were amazing 👏

So a detailed review like I promised -->

The bonding between the cadets, the subtle emotions and various mini-scene were great!

First couple (the oldest probably) :-

Koel's confusion was adorable. Faizi's nature was very similar to the show, and I loved it. You gave equal importance to them with their very own backgrounds. It turned out rather well.

I loved the part of Sumanji and Koel. It was subtle and drew out the fact that Koel found her a bit overwhelming but she wasn't rude about it. I liked that. Looking forward to see their chemistry.

Koel's talk with her son was just as good and her mother's worry was so well detailed. Nikhil is a cutiepie and I can't wait for him to interact with Faizi later on in the chapters!

(Perhaps you could have a scene with Nikhil-Faizi, without Faizi knowing that Mendhak is Koel's son or Nikhil knowing that Faizi is her trainer? U could add jealousy too, if u want. Idk! Just an idea.)

I don't think Faizi overheard her conversation in the phone. Did he? Btw, Why didn't Faizi introduce himself as Major too? I mean, it's not important but I just asked.

Koel-Faizi's meet was dramatic, but true to the character of Faizi. Koel's answers seemed rather witty! 😍 Again, I always thought she was a witty character with a very sharp-tongue.

Faizi angry with Karan - A nice touch. I always felt that for the person who claimed to know Karan for so long, he was rather submissive to Karan's tantrums. For a best friend to not speak out....that wasn't cool at all. I hope he becomes the guiding light for Karan, because honestly he could easily become that.

Verdict : It would be interesting to see their relation prosper with a witty Koel and a flirty Faizi.


Karan & Monami (the second oldest one? The middle one? What's the characters age again?) :-

Karan, Karan, Karan.....when will you learn to not judge a book by it's cover? The emotional scenes that you can draw when he gets to know of Monami's past would be worth all his prejudice! I look forward to that.

Let's start from where Faizi and Sanju teasing Karan about Monami being 'His girl'. He threatened them, he scolded them, he looked annoyed but never did he once deny it! 😂

His eyes seeking her out, being surprised when she evaded his trap (pretty much capturing his interest), helping the other cadets (what a show of subtle teamwork!) and at the end scolding her too.....He is slowly but steadily becoming entangled with her.

I loved his characterization here. It's realistic. I'm not sure whether his background here is similar to the show or not, but for a commander of his post, being strict and professional is a must. He was kind too - like in the case of Sid and a bit of an opportunist as he turned the situation into a training for Sid.

I feel he is right when he doesn't explain his motive behind burning their things (although he didn't). The cadets aren't kids who needs to be spoon-fed. They need have such kind of understanding from the start and it also acts as a wake-up call. Because if they don't understand this from the start, then there is no use in being a soldier. It can't be taught, it has to be understood. Being a soldier, fighting for you country is not easy. It's hard (and it's selfless too) and they needed such a shock.

Karan's method could have been better but Faizi pointed it out well. I hope he listens this time. It would be counter productive if the cadets becomes demoralized because they don't understand.

Monu-Karan's meeting was coincidental, slowly entangling themselves into a web. Till now, I am loving how it's going.

Now, about Monu. The girl stutters, is immensely nervous and is very uncomfortable in front of strangers. It would be a journey for her to find her comfortable self and be confident.

I found that you are utilizing the facts that were shown in regards to Moran in the very first promo. Karan being confident and comparatively Monami was the exact opposite. Am I right?

And Monami already became 'Karan's girl' for Faizi and Sanju.😂🤣She doesn't even know she is!

And the appearance of Khadoos Shergill! Her monologues are so different from what she says outside in front of people. But I like it that she is remembering the fact that at the end of the day, Karan is her senior and there is decorum to follow.

I don't think in Military Academy (I don't know much about military but it seems realistic in certain situations) you could back talk your seniors like that or even accuse them or something.

Are you going to make Monu misunderstand something, like she does in the show from the starting? I hope not. She seems sensible in your story - kind but observing (like her gut-feeling in the trap scenario).

(Oh, I just got another idea! Can you show a mission related scene where Monu observed something no one else did? Like an attention to detail? She is quiet, nervous, doesn't talk much. It sort of fits into the character you have drawn. It's your choice obviously. I am just saying.)

Her small scene with Faizi was cute. I feel that if Sid is her best friend then Faizi could be her elder brother easily. Both are easy-going and can be sensible. I hope she isn't quick to judge and takes Faizi's advice to the heart, no matter, she is annoyed with Karan. The fact that she understood why Karan did what he did was beautifully highlighted.

Sanju's scene with Monu was subtle but again immensely kind, especially Sanju's small gestures. It was honestly beautiful. I have a feeling they will get along immensely well.

Verdict : It would be simply amazing to see their journey unfold slowly. Although I honestly want Karan to fall for Monami first (slow realization) with how oblivious Monu can be in certain situations. Although it's you choice. Their relationship, I feel has the most trauma and bad past, so it would be better if it goes slow.


The DoubleS, I mean Sid and Sanju : (The youngest couple?)

An impressed Sanju from the start has my heart ❤️.

You bought out Sid's mentality from the start, showed how different he was from many men out there and that differentiated him in Sanju's mind from the start. It was all I wanted to see!

Sid is a sweetheart, he can be a bit lazy and immature but I knew he had a golden heart with very good morals and thought process. You bought that out well.

I always felt that surely his mother passing away would at least have some effect, whether it makes him a bit mature or emotionally strong. Loosing your mother is tough after all. It does have some effect in your life. You showed it too! It was subtle but all those simple changes has profound effect.

Sanju belonging from a family when her father had empowered her. Amazing! Truth is, most successful daughters has their father's undivided and selfless support. A father is the first man a daughter knows. Their relations, the subtle emotions of thankfulness amidst Sanju and her father, and the quiet but firm support Sanju's father showed for his only daughter was splendid.

Her mother nagged her, expressed her point-of-view but at the end showered her love and agreement on Sanju's decision. It's what mothers does, most of the time. It bought a smile on my face immediately when I read it. Another subtle but a beautiful relation.

Sid-Monu's relations shines out. They are best friends, confidants and each other's support. They have known each other from small and are truly best buddies. I hope they stand by each other like when Sid answered instead of Monu when Karan asked a question. Sid knew his bestie was nervous so he helped out, sort of, distracted Karan from Monu too by diverting the attention. That's what friends do and the beautiful bond between them was highlighted well.

Sid-Karan's scene was great. Karan, as I mentioned previously was kind. He was strict and stern but Sid took it well. He understood and it would be interesting to know how Sid is going to keep a secret from Monu. Hard but a good training given. Sid  needs to know and perhaps it would teach him certain things too.

(I have another idea! Actually like I said Monu could became the observing person of the trio [Koel-Monu-Sid], similarly Sid could be the smooth talker and someone who can control his emotions well. As you wrote that Karan asked him to keep his mom's bracelet a secret. Hence, this could actually help Sid gain the ability to get out of any situation, while keeping what he needs to keep a secret, by simply communicating well. This could also make him the information expert, you know the person who could get information from anyone? Again, just an idea acc. to what you have written till now. Rest is up to you as usual.)

Sanjana and Sid would be another adorable couple. I feel Sid's love-at-first sight was bit too much in the show. Here, it's still believable and realistic from Sanju's side as she is impressed by his thoughts (or what she noticed.) Don't know yet about Sid's thoughts, since he only complimented her subtly there in Monu-Sanju's room, but it would be fun if Sanju woos him.

Finally I'm ending this with the catchy scene of Bala-Sid.

Bala's reasons are realistic and the fact that you didn't show the same thing as the serial was great. First, you are right. He could have been a spy. He could also have been an informer and so many other aspects would have been taken into consideration if this was real. His back story is heartbreaking but shows that if you have the grit you could succeed. That's inspiring.

As usual Bala-Sid's bonding is precious. I hope Sid teaches Bala, like umm English or help him get some higher education? I mean is Bala literate? I think he is. No that it matters, but it can be another bonding point for them, I guess.


Verdict : I am very excited to see this ship sail. Somehow I want Sanjana to get engaged to that fiance of hers, Kundanji? Who turned out to be a criminal, I think? I am not sure. Sid could realize he loves/likes her then? You could turn it into a confidential mission where Sanju knows that her so-called fiance is a criminal and she is doing this to get him apprehended? Sid may not know, perhaps. Again, you choice.


Ummm......Ooops? This review turned out to be a bit tooo long. Hope I didn't bore you.

About the suggestions I wrote throughout, it's completely your choice. Those are just some ideas I had while reading your story.

P.S. You were right. There is no copy-paste option either 🥺 I just made it tough for you by making a joint review of all the chapters, instead of writing comments between your story.😜







NoeticLife thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#63

Originally posted by: mirai07

Both the chapters were amazing 👏

So a detailed review like I promised -->

The bonding between the cadets, the subtle emotions and various mini-scene were great!

First couple (the oldest probably) :-

They are the oldest. Faizi is 30, Koel is 31.

Koel's confusion was adorable. Faizi's nature was very similar to the show, and I loved it. You gave equal importance to them with their very own backgrounds. It turned out rather well.

I have a lot of things planned out about Koel-Faizi and also Koel and Faizi with others.

I loved the part of Sumanji and Koel. It was subtle and drew out the fact that Koel found her a bit overwhelming but she wasn't rude about it. I liked that. Looking forward to see their chemistry.

I find her being rude in the show to be fitting to her circumstances. She wanted everyone to stay away from her so it would be harder to detect her son.

But here, there's no such issue. She wants to mingle with the other cadets and make friends and she's willing to make efforts for it.

Koel's talk with her son was just as good and her mother's worry was so well detailed. Nikhil is a cutiepie and I can't wait for him to interact with Faizi later on in the chapters!

There will be. But it would be definitely later on. I have a personal track in mind before that.

(Perhaps you could have a scene with Nikhil-Faizi, without Faizi knowing that Mendhak is Koel's son or Nikhil knowing that Faizi is her trainer? U could add jealousy too, if u want. Idk! Just an idea.)

I don't want a lot of confusion or misunderstandings. I haven't really thought of a jealousy track for any of them because I wanted it to be very non dramatic. It won't be an entire track but there might be moments. I wanted both Koel-Faizi to have a relationship with fewer misunderstandings because they're both experienced in relationships as well as older and more mature.

I don't think Faizi overheard her conversation in the phone. Did he? Btw, Why didn't Faizi introduce himself as Major too? I mean, it's not important but I just asked.

I forgot to put Major in. Since in the show it's always Special Agent and not the ranks, I am used to listening that and forgot to put it in. I'll edit that in. Thanks for pointing that out.

Koel-Faizi's meet was dramatic, but true to the character of Faizi. Koel's answers seemed rather witty! 😍 Again, I always thought she was a witty character with a very sharp-tongue.

I want this to be a playful thing between them. Faizi always flirting with her, Koel always being witty even after they are dating.

The circumstances of their meet itself wasn't dramatic but they were dramatic in the way they talked, which is true to their characters with Faizi being the dramatic one and Koel being a sport and playing along.

Faizi angry with Karan - A nice touch. I always felt that for the person who claimed to know Karan for so long, he was rather submissive to Karan's tantrums. For a best friend to not speak out....that wasn't cool at all. I hope he becomes the guiding light for Karan, because honestly he could easily become that.

Faizi definitely isn't submissive here. He would call him out often and he would be the one who always knocks sense into him (except his family.)

Verdict : It would be interesting to see their relation prosper with a witty Koel and a flirty Faizi.


Karan & Monami (the second oldest one? The middle one? What's the characters age again?) :-

Koel is the oldest (31) then Faizi (30) then Karan at 29. Sanju is 27, Sid is a little younger than her by months and then Monami- the youngest- at 25.

Karan, Karan, Karan.....when will you learn to not judge a book by it's cover? The emotional scenes that you can draw when he gets to know of Monami's past would be worth all his prejudice! I look forward to that.

There'll be guilt, but more than that, he'll be right there to always be there for her. It'll be revealed really later but since his prejudice doesn't have a lot of ground to stand on, it'll actually fade away earlier and her past would be revealed later.

Oops, does that count as a spoiler?

Let's start from where Faizi and Sanju teasing Karan about Monami being 'His girl'. He threatened them, he scolded them, he looked annoyed but never did he once deny it! 😂

He certainly didn't! 😆

His eyes seeking her out, being surprised when she evaded his trap (pretty much capturing his interest), helping the other cadets (what a show of subtle teamwork!) and at the end scolding her too.....He is slowly but steadily becoming entangled with her.

He's intrigued by her, he can't understand how she is like, and it'll only get worse and there'll be a tug of war before the rope breaks.

I loved his characterization here. It's realistic. I'm not sure whether his background here is similar to the show or not, but for a commander of his post, being strict and professional is a must. He was kind too - like in the case of Sid and a bit of an opportunist as he turned the situation into a training for Sid.

He's a very efficient commando and a very respectable one and most of it is because of his no-nonsense attitude. But that doesn't mean he's heartless. He has a pretty strategic mind so he is very calculative with what he's given to work with.

I feel he is right when he doesn't explain his motive behind burning their things (although he didn't). The cadets aren't kids who needs to be spoon-fed. They need have such kind of understanding from the start and it also acts as a wake-up call. Because if they don't understand this from the start, then there is no use in being a soldier. It can't be taught, it has to be understood. Being a soldier, fighting for you country is not easy. It's hard (and it's selfless too) and they needed such a shock.

That's exactly what he intended. He made it very clear that they don't have time. If they are going to have to train them to be commandos, they'll have to put in a lot of effort, and that effort has to be met halfway by the cadets. It's possible to train them in 3 years and even less than 3 years but that'll take a lot (A LOT) of dedication from the cadets.

Karan's method could have been better but Faizi pointed it out well. I hope he listens this time. It would be counter productive if the cadets becomes demoralized because they don't understand.

Faizi is the voice of reason for Karan. While Karan is all about being tough and strict, Faizi is able to connect and understand the recruits much more and would pull him back when needed. They balance each other with Karan stopping Faizi from being too soft and Faizi stopping Karan from being too harsh.

Monu-Karan's meeting was coincidental, slowly entangling themselves into a web. Till now, I am loving how it's going.

It's going to be very slow burn and they'll understand each other before they'll begin to date.

I think I have revealed who's going to get together first, second and then the last.

Now, about Monu. The girl stutters, is immensely nervous and is very uncomfortable in front of strangers. It would be a journey for her to find her comfortable self and be confident.

It'll be a journey for her but it'll also be a journey for everyone around her as they realize a lot of things. It doesn't make sense now but it'll all make sense when things start to get together.

I found that you are utilizing the facts that were shown in regards to Moran in the very first promo. Karan being confident and comparatively Monami was the exact opposite. Am I right?

I didn't really think of the first promo. But it'll be another thing that gets pointed out later on. I want to explain so many things but it'll ruin the story and I'm already giving you guys so many hints and perhaps, spoilers. 

And Monami already became 'Karan's girl' for Faizi and Sanju.😂🤣She doesn't even know she is!

Nope. She is utterly clueless.

And the appearance of Khadoos Shergill! Her monologues are so different from what she says outside in front of people. But I like it that she is remembering the fact that at the end of the day, Karan is her senior and there is decorum to follow.

Again! Will make sense as the story progresses. Everyone will follow rules here and if they break it, it'll be very rare and they'll be punished for it.

I don't think in Military Academy (I don't know much about military but it seems realistic in certain situations) you could back talk your seniors like that or even accuse them or something.

I don't think so either. If you do, it's something that's looked down upon on, or perhaps, actually punished.

Are you going to make Monu misunderstand something, like she does in the show from the starting? I hope not. She seems sensible in your story - kind but observing (like her gut-feeling in the trap scenario).

Wait and watch. As I said, I'll try and keep this very subtle and not overly dramatic. Love stories would be subtle and the missions would be the one where all the drama and action would be.

(Oh, I just got another idea! Can you show a mission related scene where Monu observed something no one else did? Like an attention to detail? She is quiet, nervous, doesn't talk much. It sort of fits into the character you have drawn. It's your choice obviously. I am just saying.)

It's not going to come anytime soon, definitely. There'll be no missions for the cadets for a while. I am planning one for the trainers but not for the cadets. But I have some plans for future missions.

Her small scene with Faizi was cute. I feel that if Sid is her best friend then Faizi could be her elder brother easily. Both are easy-going and can be sensible. I hope she isn't quick to judge and takes Faizi's advice to the heart, no matter, she is annoyed with Karan. The fact that she understood why Karan did what he did was beautifully highlighted.

I have some scenes with Faizi-Monami in mind. That'll definitely be the role Faizi would have in Monami's life. All of them would be really important in each other's life and have special roles and special places.

Sanju's scene with Monu was subtle but again immensely kind, especially Sanju's small gestures. It was honestly beautiful. I have a feeling they will get along immensely well.

They'll all get along pretty well. Their fights would be petty and more like squabbles than actual fights, because all of them have their focus on serving the country rather than judging or fighting.

Verdict : It would be simply amazing to see their journey unfold slowly. Although I honestly want Karan to fall for Monami first (slow realization) with how oblivious Monu can be in certain situations. Although it's you choice. Their relationship, I feel has the most trauma and bad past, so it would be better if it goes slow.

I don't know if what I have in mind would count as Monu falling in first or not. 


The DoubleS, I mean Sid and Sanju : (The youngest couple?)

An impressed Sanju from the start has my heart ❤️.

She'll only get more impressed as time goes on. Sid is much more mature here, and definitely more focused on training and that'll be all the things that captures her attention.

You bought out Sid's mentality from the start, showed how different he was from many men out there and that differentiated him in Sanju's mind from the start. It was all I wanted to see!

Sid is a sweetheart, he can be a bit lazy and immature but I knew he had a golden heart with very good morals and thought process. You bought that out well.

I wanted him to be mature but fun loving here. He would be able to bond and friend with everyone very quickly but also, be pretty focused on what he wants to do.

I always felt that surely his mother passing away would at least have some effect, whether it makes him a bit mature or emotionally strong. Loosing your mother is tough after all. It does have some effect in your life. You showed it too! It was subtle but all those simple changes has profound effect.

That's not all the exploring that's going to happen, missy. Wait and watch!

Sanju belonging from a family when her father had empowered her. Amazing! Truth is, most successful daughters has their father's undivided and selfless support. A father is the first man a daughter knows. Their relations, the subtle emotions of thankfulness amidst Sanju and her father, and the quiet but firm support Sanju's father showed for his only daughter was splendid.

Her mother nagged her, expressed her point-of-view but at the end showered her love and agreement on Sanju's decision. It's what mothers does, most of the time. It bought a smile on my face immediately when I read it. Another subtle but a beautiful relation.

I wanted this in their family! Supportive parents who are pressured by society but ready to stand for their daughter's dreams and happiness.

Sid-Monu's relations shines out. They are best friends, confidants and each other's support. They have known each other from small and are truly best buddies. I hope they stand by each other like when Sid answered instead of Monu when Karan asked a question. Sid knew his bestie was nervous so he helped out, sort of, distracted Karan from Monu too by diverting the attention. That's what friends do and the beautiful bond between them was highlighted well.

Yay! I am glad you noticed all that.

Sid-Karan's scene was great. Karan, as I mentioned previously was kind. He was strict and stern but Sid took it well. He understood and it would be interesting to know how Sid is going to keep a secret from Monu. Hard but a good training given. Sid  needs to know and perhaps it would teach him certain things too.

It'll have a few mini scenes adhering to Sid keeping that a secret.

(I have another idea! Actually like I said Monu could became the observing person of the trio [Koel-Monu-Sid], similarly Sid could be the smooth talker and someone who can control his emotions well. As you wrote that Karan asked him to keep his mom's bracelet a secret. Hence, this could actually help Sid gain the ability to get out of any situation, while keeping what he needs to keep a secret, by simply communicating well. This could also make him the information expert, you know the person who could get information from anyone? Again, just an idea acc. to what you have written till now. Rest is up to you as usual.)

I have plans for all of them! Don't worry. 😆

Sanjana and Sid would be another adorable couple. I feel Sid's love-at-first sight was bit too much in the show. Here, it's still believable and realistic from Sanju's side as she is impressed by his thoughts (or what she noticed.) Don't know yet about Sid's thoughts, since he only complimented her subtly there in Monu-Sanju's room, but it would be fun if Sanju woos him.

Sanju doesn't have a crush on him or anything [You may think of it as a crush but Sanju isn't thinking of it as such.] She is just really impressed by him, and it'll only heighten every single time they talk.

Finally I'm ending this with the catchy scene of Bala-Sid.

Bala's reasons are realistic and the fact that you didn't show the same thing as the serial was great. First, you are right. He could have been a spy. He could also have been an informer and so many other aspects would have been taken into consideration if this was real. His back story is heartbreaking but shows that if you have the grit you could succeed. That's inspiring.

As usual Bala-Sid's bonding is precious. I hope Sid teaches Bala, like umm English or help him get some higher education? I mean is Bala literate? I think he is. No that it matters, but it can be another bonding point for them, I guess.

He's literate as in he knows how to read and write Hindi and English (I think that's a requirement to join the military) but he can't speak English very well.


Verdict : I am very excited to see this ship sail. Somehow I want Sanjana to get engaged to that fiance of hers, Kundanji? Who turned out to be a criminal, I think? I am not sure. Sid could realize he loves/likes her then? You could turn it into a confidential mission where Sanju knows that her so-called fiance is a criminal and she is doing this to get him apprehended? Sid may not know, perhaps. Again, you choice.

Not something I want to go for, sorry. I have other plans.


Ummm......Ooops? This review turned out to be a bit tooo long. Hope I didn't bore you.

I loved it! 

About the suggestions I wrote throughout, it's completely your choice. Those are just some ideas I had while reading your story.

P.S. You were right. There is no copy-paste option either 🥺 I just made it tough for you by making a joint review of all the chapters, instead of writing comments between your story.😜


I can't tell you how happy I was reading this review. Like, really! This was amazing! Trust me, you didn't bore me even one bit. If it's not too much trouble, I would LOVE these kind of reviews in every chapter.

There are inline responses in black italics and underlined.

Edited by NoeticLife - 2 years ago
NoeticLife thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#64

EDITED

Edited by NoeticLife - 2 years ago
NoeticLife thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#65

CHAPTER 5

LET THE TRAINING BEGIN

Monami shot up in bed, wide eyes frantically looking around the room. Through her tears, it took her a few panic filled seconds to recognize it.

Her room in the academy.

She was safe. She wasn’t there. She was safe.

“It’s okay”, she muttered to herself. “It’s okay, Monu. Tu theek hai. Tu nahi hai wahan par. Tu theek hai.”

She screwed her eyes shut tightly, eyes stinging from the tears. Her hands shook wildly. She wiped her tears away, rubbing her eyes till the tears seemed to have stopped.

She looked over at Sanjana. She was sleeping. Peacefully.

Envy rose up. She wanted to curl up and sleep like she was. She shook her head, glancing at the clock where the time blinked in red, glowing letters. 3:46.

Way later than she had expected. Less than an hour till she was allowed to be up. Over an hour till the alarm for the cadets will ring at exactly 5.

She swung her legs over, the cool, breezy air from the window making her aware of the sweat that covered her body. Her clothes clutched her tightly. They were restraining.

She leant over the window, taking deep breaths. The nightmare sounded in her head, the noises and voices distant as if far away. She glanced at the table, sighing. She sat down on the table, getting her diary out and picking up a pen.

Another deep breath before she started writing in the light of the lamp.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Karan sighed. “Chaar gaaliyan de de”, he said. “Baat toh kar, yaar.”

“Hum kyun kare?” Faizi grumbled, as he laced up his boots. “Kya zaroorat hai? Hum kuchh kahein toh tumhe achha nahi lagta. Hum kyun zuban kharaab kare?”

“Kya karega phir?"

He stood up, narrowing his eyes. He stomped lightly on his feet. “Tumhaari uniform kharaab.”

Karan smiled slightly. He tilted his head slightly up at him. Faizi smiled back, nodding in assurance. He suppressed a sigh of relief. He didn’t like it when Faizi was mad at him.

“Hume Sanju se kuchh baat karni hai. Tum training room mein chalo. Hum aate hain.”

He nodded, standing up. “Achha, sun”, he said. “Wo informer se milne ke baad seedha mere paas aana. Hum Batra Sir se baat kar lenge.” Faizi nodded.

Karan shoved his hands in his pockets, walking to the training room. Faintly, he could hear the boys in the washroom getting ready for the drill as he walked past it. The training started at 6 and an alarm rang for them at 5, after which they were supposed to get ready and eat something light before reporting at the training room.

He entered the training room, pausing when a figure moved. His eyebrows furrowed. He inspected the figure, hand drifting to his gun.

"Monami?" Karan asked, walking closer and the figure looked up.

"S-Sir", she said, standing up.

He glanced at his watch. "0523 hours huye hai. Reporting time 0600 hours ka hai. Aap jaldi hai."

"Sir", she said, nodding.

"Rani Sahiba, aap training room ke andar 0555 hours se pehle nahi aayengi. Chahe toh use apna reporting time samajh sakti hai agar jaldi aane ka zyaada hi keeda hai. Zyaada jaldi aane se sirf apne aap ko zyaada tire out karengi, kuchh milega nahi."

"O-Okay, sir."

He felt her gaze on him, as he walked around the room, setting the things up. “Rani Sahiba", he said. "Aap itni jaldi yahan kyun?"

"Wo... wo Sanjana ma'am k-ka alarm s-subah 4:30 b-baje b-bajta hai, toh- toh unke s-saath m-main bhi uth gayi."

He glanced at her. "Light sleeper?"

She nodded. "Med-Medical school m-mein aadat ho g-gayi. K-Kabhi bhi, k-kaise bhi b-bula lete the."

"Right, aap doctor hain."

“Aapko... k-koi help ch-chahiye?"

He turned to her, and she blinked back innocently.

"Matlab... I mean..."

"Aap hamesha hi itna atak atak ke bolti hai ya sirf mere saamne? Kyunki jab se aayi hain, maine aapke muh se ek baar mein koi sentence nahi suna hai."

"S-Sid ke alawa s-sabke s-saamne", she said.

"Aur yeh tumhare… Sid mein aisa kya hai?"

"Sid m-mera b-best friend hai. B-Bachpan se ek d-doosre ko jaante hai. Toh... toh uske s-saamne toh n-nervous hone ka s-sawaal hi nahi."

He walked closer to her, and she swallowed thickly, taking a step back. He reached above her, grabbing a piece of equipment. "Tum mere saamne nervous hoti ho?" He asked, and she stared at him with wide eyes, swallowing.

'Itna kyun darr rahi hai? Main kaunsa ise kha jaoonga?' He thought, staring into her eyes.

"Ma-main s-sabke s-saamne n-nervous hoti hoon."

"Aisa kyun?"

Her gaze averted. Karan had a feeling he had breached on a topic she wasn't entirely comfortable talking about. His eyebrows furrowed, staring down at her, but she didn't reply. Footsteps made him look away from her. He took a step back, placing the equipment down.

"Arey, Monami", Faizi said, walking in, Sanjana behind him. "Humne expect nahi kara tha ki abhi koi bhi cadet aaya hoga."

"W-wo S-Sanjana-"

"Sanju ke alarm se uth gayi", Karan filled in. "Jab tak aap bolna khatam karti, kal subah ho jaati, Rani Sahiba."

"Karan", Faizi said, giving him a 'Hadd hai' look that he was used to by now. He rolled his eyes, grabbing another piece and checking it.

"Wahan jaa kar baith ja, aur baaki jhingooron ka intezaar kar", Sanjana said.

She nodded, moving to the opposite side, and sitting on a tire as she waited. Her hand was twirling the ring she was wearing, seemingly deep inthought. For a brief moment, Karan wanted to know what was going on inside her mind. He shook his head, going back to setting the gym up, the three trainers working with minimal talk between them.

Karan paced in front of the lines. “Cadets, aaj se aapki training shuru hogi. Yaa phir yeh samajh lijiye, bura waqt aa chuka hai. Schedule toh dekh hi liya hoga aap sab ne? Aapki theory classes 3 din baad shuru hongi, taaki aap logon ko physical training ke liye used to hone ka thoda time mil jaaye.” He paused in front of them. “Everyone, follow me. We’ll start with the warm ups. Sabse pehle, jogging. 10 kilometres. Trainers, keep eye.”

He started to jog ahead, leading the cadets out of the hanger area and into the ground. He glanced at Faizi, who fell in step next to him. He glanced behind himself, spotting the trainers jogging along or behind the cadets. He nodded in approval, turning his attention to the front.

“10 kilometre?” Suman ji said, as they ran behind Karan and Faizi. “Itna toh Suman ji apni poori life mein nahi bhaagi hongi.”

“Khaana toh achha de rahe hain, par kabhi aisa kaam karte hain jisse khaana khaane ka mann nahi karta aur kabhi aisa ki jitna khaaya hai, usse zyaada nikal jaaye”, Bala said.

“Chalo, chalo, sab”, Ustaad ji called from beside them. “Rona nahi hai. Pasine mein waise hi shareer ka saara paani nikal jaayega.” He chuckled, running a little ahead of them.

“In sab trainers ko dekho”, Koel muttered. “Saare ke saare sadists hain. Humaare pain mein maze le rahe hain. Aur sabse zyaada, yeh Karan Sir.”

‘Maine tumhaari cheezon ko aag nahi lagaayi thi. Yeh bracelet tum rakh sakte ho.’

“I don’t know, guys”, Sid said. “Itne bhi bure nahi hain Karan Sir.”

They stared at him in disbelief. “Didn’t he burn your mother’s bracelet?” Koel asked. “I thought tum toh bahut upset the kal, Sid.”

He shrugged. “Haan, tha. Par koi na koi reason hoga jiski wajah se kara hai.”

“You’re #too good, Sid”, Chitra said. She smiled dreamily. “And he’s #too hot.”

They rolled their eyes. “Chitra!”

“#Just saying.”

“Sid, tujhe toh badhe maze aa rahe hain?” Suman ji said.

He grinned. “Main aur Monu roz 12 km running karte the. I like running. Toh mujhe toh koi problem nahi. Speaking of Monu… see you later.”

Sid sped up a little, weaving through the people and falling in step beside Monami. She smiled slightly at him, before turning her attention ahead and running.

“Tu theek hai?” He asked when she didn't say anything for a few seconds.

“Main? Of course”, she said. “Tu theek hai? Kal sad tha.”

“Of course, bro.” He nudged her slightly. “Kya soch rahi hai?”

Monami huffed slightly, glaring at Karan. “Ek number ka Khadoos hai yeh, bro. I know usne yeh kyun kiya, kya lesson tha, par sympathy naam ki cheez suni hai usne? Upar se daant raha tha. Khadoos Shergill!” He chuckled. “Aur tujhe pata hai, kal taunt kar raha tha aur pata nahi kya ajeeb sa bol raha tha. Aapke liye bhi applicable hai or something.” She shook her head. “Mujhe toh lagta hai iska screw dheela hai.”

“Wo toh definitely hai.” They chuckled. “Par itna bhi bura nahi hai. I feel there's more to him that he shows. He's not that bad.”

'Wo bura nahi hai. Nariyal hai wo, nariyal.'

She shrugged. “Nahi hoga, par mujhe achha nahi laga.” She scrunched her nose up, shaking her head. "Aisa kya kara usne ki tujhe yeh lag raha hai ki wo itna bura nahi hai?"

"Usne? Kuchh bhi toh nahi. Mujhe bas feeling aa rahi hai."

Monami eyed him before nodding, unconvinced.

“Baatein nahi”, Sanju called out. “Sab bhaagne par dhyaan do.” The two fell quiet, running diligently after the two trainers till they all circled back to their starting spot, huddling in groups.

Karan quirked an eyebrow up slightly, as Siddharth and Monami didn’t seem to be as winded as the rest, just barely breathing hard. Definitely way fitter than he had anticipated. They were talking to each other quietly, as the rest caught their breaths, panting like dogs in the peak of the summer. Sid grinned suddenly, and Monami rolled her eyes, punching him lightly in the arm.

“Sab lines mein”, he barked, and they all assembled themselves slowly into lines. The trainers lead them to ‘Wire Obstacle’, as they called it. It was short, of course, for their first day, and they had to crawl under the barbed wires, with the rocks underneath.

“Sanju, karke dikha”, he said, and she walked over the cadets’ side, before lying down and crawling through quickly. He pointed to two cadets randomly, gesturing them to step forward. “Naam?”

“Parikshit, sir”, the first one called.

“Megha”, the other one said.

“Chalo”, he said, pointing towards the course. They looked at each other nervously, before getting down and slowly crawling underneath.

“Ab toh Suman ji ko yakeen ho gaya hai. Yeh training ke naam par torture kar rahe hain”, Suman ji muttered slowly, staring wide eyed at the track.

“Patthar dekh rahe ho?” Someone asked.

“Aur wo #wire? It’s barbed”, Chitra said.

“Apni khud ki khundak nikaal rahe hain kya yeh?” Koel asked, glancing at Karan. “Kal cheezen jala di aur ab yeh.”

“Cadets!” Karan said sharply. “Kisi ko kuchh kehna hai, toh haath khada kijiye aur boliye. Aur nahi kehna hai toh muh band karke khade rahiye.” Someone lifted a hand up. “Boliye.”

“Sorry, Sir, but yeh zyaada ho raha hai”, he said. “Humne training keliye sign up kara tha, torture ke liye nahi. Aap hume aise torture nahi kar sakte.”

“Aapko yeh torture lag raha hai?” Karan’s eyes travelled over the group. Monami shifted slightly behind the man in the front of her. She didn’t want Karan to see her and call her out. “Aur kisi ko bhi kuchh kehna hai?”

“Sir, is this… #really necessary?” Chitra asked hesitantly.

“Next time, haath upar, Hashtag.”

“#Sorry”, she muttered.

‘Yeh Khadoos bomb ki tarah bas explode naa ho jaaye’, she thought, eyeing him. ‘Yeh kya explode hone se pehle waala tick tick chal raha hai?’

"Monami", Karan said, and her eyes darted to him. "Aap nahi dengi apna yogdaan inki iss torture theory mein?"

She looked away. What has her poor old self done to this merciless, cruel man? 'Bhagwaan ji', she thought. 'Thodi toh help karo. Bola aur logon ne, aur yeh Exploding Shergill mere upar phatne chala hai? Aisa kya kar diya hai maine inke saath?'

"Cadet Monami Mahajan", he said, and her eyes flew to him again. "Jab aapse kuch puccha jaaye toh uska answer dijiye. Aapko bhi yeh hi lagta hai ki yeh torture hai?"

If she spoke against what the cadets were saying, they would glare at her till she would evaporate. If she didn't, she would be lying. Screw it, she was just going to say whatever the hell she thought was the truth. Torture was definitely not the word for this training. Torture was... so, so much worse. "N-No, sir", she answered.

The cadets all turned to look at her in shock, and her eyes met Sid's, who blinked at her assuredly. She relaxed slightly. He would always have her back, no matter what. If the cadets really did get angry on her for not agreeing, Sid would defend her.

"No?" Karan repeated. Was that a hint of surprise she was detecting in his voice?

"No, sir. I- I don't th-think this is t-torture. T-torture isse k-kahin z-zyaada b-bura hota hai. I think this is m-military tr-training. I-Internet par k-kahin bhi m-military training ko e-easy nahi likha hai. E-Everyone m-makes it out to be r-really t-tough ", she answered, trying to keep the nervousness off her face. Everyone was looking at her. She hated it, hated it, hated it!

'Itni sundar academy hai, itna khadoos insaan hai saamne, itni daraawni drill hai, par nahi, sabko toh sab kuchh chodhkar mujhe hi dekhna hai', she thought bitterly.

"Toh aap internet se seekh kar aayi hai?" Karan asked, crossing his arms.

"S-Seekh kar nahi, S-Sir. Sirf k-kya expect karna hai, yeh- yeh jaankar", she said.

'Not that mujhe internet ki zyaada zaroorat thi. Mumma ne mujhe training ke baare mein bahut cheeze batayi thi. Par aapko jaanne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Waise hi aap mujhe pasand nahi karte, kahin mere mumma ke baare mein taunt na kare. Unke baare mein main kuch ulta nahi sunna chahti. Aur aap trainer hain, toh aapko kuch ulta bolna nahi chahti. Toh achha yahi hai, ki aap yahi samajh le.'

"You're next", he barked.

She nodded, walking forward. This drill was actually one of the few ones she had done before, mostly in a couple of camps she had attended. But the sharp rocks were an unwelcome change, as she placed her arms on them, crawling forward.

Her arms burned with the friction, and she held in a wince, as the wire above lightly scraped against her skin. The thick tracksuit, though, kept her skin from tearing, and she pulled herself from under the wire, standing up.

'Itna bura bhi nahi tha. Achha nahi tha, par ho gaya. Monu, har cheez itni easily, first try par nahi hogi. Zyaada khush mat ho. First day hai.'

She looked up at Karan, who nodded to her, pointing to the group of other people standing with this drill completed. She brushed her clothes off, walking up there, and Karan turned back to the recruits.

"You", Karan said, pointing at Sid. "Siddharth. You're next."

Sid's eyes found hers, and she silently held up a thumbs up, quickly hiding her hands when Karan glanced at her. He shook his head exasperatedly, and Sid walked forward, bending down and crawling under. Did she grit her teeth like this too? She thought as she stared at Sid doing the drill.

He stumbled to her after the drill, and she looked up, raising her eyebrows slightly in concern. He nodded, brushing his clothes clean, and rubbing his arms lightly where the rocks had likely irritated his skin.

She glanced up at Karan, who had an unreadable expression on his face, arms crossed across his chest. He was staring back at the recruits with his hard gaze.

He pointed to one randomly. Monami glanced at him. He was one of the recruits who had protested against it. “Idhar aao.” The recruit walked around the track. “Attack.”

“Sir?”

“Sunne mein problem hai aapko? Doctor bhi hai humaare paas, agar check-up karwaana hai.” He gestured to Monami.

She stared at the ground underneath her when people turned to look at her. ‘Khul jaa, sim sim’, she thought. ‘Nighal jaa mujhe.’ She glared at it when it didn’t split open. ‘Ali Baba ne gufa ko order diya, gufa khul gayi. Main dharti ko de rahi hoon, par nahi! Ise toh nakhre hi dikhaane hai.’

Her attention snapped up when the recruit swung his fist. Karan easily stepped aside, making him stumble back. He ducked under another attempt at punch, hooking his leg with him and making him trip.

Karan’s hard gaze turned back to the cadets. “Attack chodiye, dhang se khud ko defend bhi nahi kiya hai maine. Aur yeh aapke haal hain.” He crossed his arms. “Sadak ke do gundon se ladne ke liye nahi train kar rahe hain hum aapko. Terrorists se country ko defend karna hai. It’s not all fun and games. Easy nahi hai. Kisi ko inn drills se problem hai, toh jis gate se academy mein entry li hai, usi gate se waapas bhi jaa sakte hain.” He pointed to someone. “Next!”

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

“Kya baat kar rahe the?” Faizi asked.

“Yeh toh nahi pata, Sir ji. Thoda bahut suna, par tukron mein kuchh samajh nahi aaya. Ab bhool gaya ki kya suna. Bas itna yaad hai ki academy ke baare mein baat kar rahe the”, the informer said. “Sir ji, kuchh serious baat hai kya?”

“Nahi, nahi. Aisa kuchh nahi hai. Tum bas mujhe khabar dete rehna.” He sipped the tea. “Ek aur baat batao. Jo wo special agent tha, uski shakal dekhi tumne?”

“Zyaada achhe se toh nahi”, he said. “Chote baal the. Theek se yaad nahi.”

Faizi unlocked his phone, bringing up a picture of Raghav. “Yeh tha kya?”

“Nahi, Sir ji.”

He showed the picture of the other special agents on the mission, nodding when he denied them all. “Tumne… Blue bird jaisi koi cheez suni thi?”

“Blue Bird”, he repeated. “Yaad nahi, Sir ji. Hume lagta toh nahi par kuchh pakka nahi keh sakte.”

He stood up. “Kuchh yaad aaye toh turant hume call karna.”

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

“You think there might be a spy in the academy?” Colonel Batra asked.

“Kuchh keh nahi sakte, Sir”, Karan said. “Koi evidence nahi hai yeh baat support karne ka. But dekhkar yeh toh zaroor lagta hai ki information leak toh hui hai. It’s too big of a coincidence to be a coincidence. Yaa toh galti se kisi ne sun liya ya koi spy hai.”

“Bugs?” He suggested cautiously.

“Nahi, Sir”, Faizi said. “Humne poore academy mein scan karwaaya hai.”

“I hope tumne unhe apne suspicion ke baare mein nahi bataaya.”

“Not at all, Sir. Humne kaha ki since naye cadets aaye hain, toh security breech hone ke chances badh sakte hain, isliye saare rooms mein thorough security check hona chahiye, including bug checks.”

He nodded. “Ho sakta hai this is not something serious and ho sakta hai ise lightly lena ek bahut badhi mistake ho.” He leaned back in his chair. “Ek kaam karte hain. Faizi, tumhaare kaafi dost hain academy mein. Talk to them. Notice if someone’s acting weird. Baat baat mein jitnon ke baare mein information nikaal sakte ho, nikaalo.” He held up a hand in warning. “Dhyaan rahe. Kisi ko iss baat ki bhanak nahi lagni chahiye.” He looked at Karan. “Shergill, missions ke khatam hone ke baad, main files tumhe personally handover kara karunga. Saari files check karna aur notice karna if there’s something unusual, especially aisi cheezen jo yeh suggest karein ki information leak hui hai.”

“Sir”, they said.

Colonel Batra tapped on the table thoughtfully. “Till we get a lead, hum koi action nahi le sakte hain. Aankhein aur kaan khule rakhna, par stress lene ki zaroorat nahi hai. This could just be a mistake. Already, tum dono ke paas bahut kaam hai.” He nodded to them. “Dismissed.”

“Sir.” They moved out of the cabin.

“I hope yeh mistake ho”, Faizi muttered. “Yeh sochte hue achha nahi lagta ki jinhone desh ke liye mar mitne ki kasam khaayi thi, wo hi log desh ko mitaane mein lage hain.”

Karan patted his back in sympathy. “Kaash yeh ek galti ho. Bas.”

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

A tissue appeared in his line of vision. Faizi looked up.

Koel?

“Jitne upset aap lag rahe hain, mujhe laga sirf aanson behne ki deri hai.”

He blinked a few times. What? “Nahi. Nahi, hum upset nahi hai. Hum bas kuchh soch rahe the.” He smirked slightly, tilting his head. “Hume toh laga tha aap sirf dikhne mein pari jaisi hain, aapki toh harkatein bhi waisi.”

Koel’s mouth twisted in a smile. She sat down next to him, wincing slightly. “Zyaada achhi cheezen bhi kabhi kabhi dangerous hoti hain.”

“Aap yahan kya kar rahi hain?” He leaned back on his arms. “Yeh kaafi secluded jagah hai. Aapko kaisi mili?”

“Aise hi ghoomte ghoomte. Seemed like a good place to think.” She shrugged.

He tilted his head. “Kya soch rahi ho?”

“Ghar ke baare mein. Kabhi Nikhil se zyaada door rahi nahi.”

“Nikhil kaun?”

She smiled. “Mera beta.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Tumhaara beta hai?”

“8 saal ka.”

“Tumhaare husband ke saath hoga?” He poked casually.

She laughed slightly. “I see what you’re doing, Sir.” She sighed a little. “No husband. 4 saal pehle… ek car accident mein…” She fidgeted with her hands. “Mere parents sambhaal rahe hain use.” She shifted a little. She gasped suddenly, rubbing her legs.

Faizi laughed. “Dard ho raha hai?”

She rubbed her legs. “Nahi. Bilkul nahi. Mujhe? Main pari hoon. Hum pariyon ko dard nahi hota.”

“Humaari galti.” He chuckled. “Aadat daal lo dard ki. Yeh kam nahi hoga.”

She heaved a huge sigh, making him chuckle again. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, opening the message. It was from Abhishek Rathore, a friend of his. They were fairly good friends, and Faizi had a soft spot from him, considering he had saved his life on a mission once.

Faizi bhai! Zaroor milte hain. Abhi aa sakte ho toh abhi aa jao? Aapko toh pata hi hai ki kaam kitna zyaada ho gaya hai, pata nahi ab kab milne ka mauka milega.

Faizi glanced at Koel, who was looking around, a small smile on herface.

‘Faizi, tumhaare kaafi dost hain academy mein. Talk to them. Notice if someone’s acting weird.’

He suppressed a sigh, beginning to type. Sure! Milte hain, Abhi. Mess mein? A thumbs up came back in an instant reply.

“Koel, hume kuchh kaam hai. Hume abhi jaana padega.” He stood up. Koel stood up too, smiling at him.

“Bye.”

“Bye”, he said. He paused a few steps ahead, turning. “Koel!” She turned to him. “Hum yahan bahut baar aate hain. Kabhi milne ka mann ho, toh… aa jaana. Hum wait karenge.”

She grinned. “I hope you’re patient then.”

He smiled. "Aapke liye, zaroor hain."

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

“Suman ji ki kamar!”

Karan looked away, suppressing a smirk at the half broken cadets that piled in. They collapsed on the benches, groaning and moaning in pain.

“Samajh nahi aa raha kya dukh raha hai, kya nahi”, Prem ji said.

“Ab samajh aaya jab saari haddiyan ek saath haar maan leti hain, toh kaisa mehsoos hota hai”, Bala moaned.

“#Pain”, Chitra groaned.

His gaze scanned their faces, stopping on Monami’s. She had just entered, limping a little and walking awkwardly, clearly sore from the training. She quietly piled her plate with food before sitting in a secluded corner and beginning to eat. He tilted his head, staring at her. He had thought she would whine and complain the most, comparing it to the luxurious, rich lifestyle she was used to.

“Pata hai”, Faizi said, sliding into the seat across him. His gaze tore away from her. “Bahut time ke baad humne ek puraane dost ke saath baat kari. Kaafi achha laga. Yaad hai tumhe? Abhishek Rathore?” Karan nodded, humming. He raised an eyebrow in question. Faizi shrugged, nodding. “Haan, uske liye”, he quietly muttered.

“Anything?”

“Nahi”, he murmured. He looked at his plate. Karan slapped his hand before he could grab something.

“Jaa aur apna khaana lekar aa. Aalsi.” He sighed, standing up. Karan shook his head, continuing eating. Faizi took his seat again, happily eating the food. He shook his head. He had never seen anyone happier about getting food than Faizi.

"Akad toh dekho", Suman ji said. He looked up from his plate, turning to the cadets. "Humaare saath baithna bhi nahi chahti."

He followed her gaze, finding Monami sitting alone with her food, staring at a distance and playing with her food absent-mindedly. She took bites occasionally, tapping the table in whatever thought she was lost in.

"Ab in Rani Sahiba ko khaana bhi koi aur aakar khilaaye?" Karan said, rolling his eyes.

"Pareshaan nahi lag rahi?" Faizi asked, eyeing her.

"Tu bas apna dimaag zyaada chala raha hai. Aur sahi toh keh rahi hain. Baaki cadets ke saath baithe. Oh sorry, Rani Sahiba aam insaanon ke saath kaise baith sakti hai?"

"Karan, shy bhi toh ho sakti hai?" Faizi said.

Siddharth slid on the bench opposite her, his back to the trainers. Monami focused on him, snapping out of her thoughts. She nodded to the cadets, and Siddharth glanced between them and her, before standing up and limping tothe cadets.

“Hello”, he said cheerfully, sitting next to Bala.

“Sid, Suman ji puchh rahi thi yeh jo teri dost hai, use humaare saath baithne mein koi problem hai kya?”

“Nahi, nahi. Monu aisi hi hai”, he said.

“Sun liya?” Karan said. “Ab iska yeh namoona dost, Siddharth, usne tak bol diya.”

“Usne kaha ki wo aisi hi hai. ‘Aisi hi hai’ ka kuch bhi matlab ho sakta hai”, Faizi said.

“Tu hamesha uski tarafdaari kyun karta rehta hai?”

“Tum hamesha uske baare mein galat hi kyun sochte ho?”

“Main galat nahi soch raha. Wo ek rich, privileged aur spoiled kid hai jise lagta hai ki wo hum normal logon se bahut upar hai.”

Faizi sighed. “Dekh lena, Janaab, Monami aap ko galat prove karegi”, he said. “Likh kar le lo.”

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

An ice pack sliding in her vision made Suman ji look up. She blinked, following the hand attached to it.

Koel.

“Yeh lo”, she said. Suman ji accepted it, and the other woman sat down on her bed, keeping another one on her legs. “Main mess mein gayi thi apne liye lene toh socha aapke liye bhi le loon.”

“Thank you. Suman ji ki toh himmat hi nahi hui kahin bhi chalkar jaane ki”, she replied. She hissed at the coldness as she kept it on her leg, wincing. “Suman ji yahan logon ki madad karne aayi thi. Yahan aakar toh lag raha hai Suman ji ko hi madad ki zaroorat pad jayegi.”

Koel chuckled. “Same.” She moaned a little, rubbing her calves. “Bahut dard ho raha hai.”

Suman ji suddenly giggled as a thought came to her mind. Koel turned her head on the bed, raising an eyebrow in question. “Suman ji ne suna hai ki military training mein sabko dard hota hai. Karan Sir ko bhi hua hoga?”

The other woman smiled in amusement thinking of the agent in pain. It was hard to even imagine. He seemed so robotic and stiff that it seemed improbable that he’ll ever show tiredness or pain. “Wo toh robot lagte hain”, Koel said. “Lagta hai ki unhe toh dard hi nahi hota hoga. Do you think army ne ek AI robot banaaya aur use yahan testing ke liye bheja hua hai? Robot Karan Shergill.”

Both burst out laughing at the thought. “Aur jab unhe kholo, toh sirf taarein.”

“Correct. Aur har raat charge karte hain unhe.” Koel grinned at the thought.

“Suman ji ne suna hai ki Faizi Sir aur Karan Sir bahut achhe dost hain.” She tilted her head. “Faizi Sir toh itne achhe hain. Suman ji ne unhe Karan Sir ko daantte hue bhi suna tha, mess mein. Jab unhone humaari cheezen jalaayi thi. Zyaada toh nahi suna Suman ji ko par itna zaroor suna ki Faizi Sir unse naraaz the.”

Koel smiled a little. “Faizi Sir… kaafi nice hain. Nahi?”

She nodded, stifling a yawn. “Ab Suman ji ko toh neend aa rahi hain.”

“Light band karo.”

Suman ji gave her a wide eyed look. “Itna door nahi jaa sakti Suman ji.”

Koel frowned. “Ice pack main lekar aayi thi, na? Toh light aap band kijiye.”

She huffed, standing up. She moved to the light switch, grumbling angrily. “Koel ki bacchi. Suman ji ko laga yeh toh achhi hai, par yeh toh chudail nikli.” She switched the light off.

“Thank you”, Koel said, laughing slightly.

“Haan, haan, zyaada has mat. Kal teri baari hai light band karne ki.”

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Monami collapsed on the bed, moaning softly in pain, asher muscles protested from the exercises. She stared at the bland ceiling for a few minutes, before sitting up in bed, massaging her sore legs softly.

She hissed in pain, but it was necessary, and she rubbed her calves, trying to increase the blood flow. She glanced at the door, and then back at her calf, trying to decide if it was worth it to go and bring an ice pack to soothe her pain

'Chod, yaar. Bahut door hai. Darwaza hi itna door lag raha hai. Mess ya infirmary tak toh tab jayegi jab darwaze tak pahunchegi.' She sighed. 'Sid theek hoga? Phone hota toh call kar leti. Itni himmat toh nahi hai ki jaa kar uss se baat karke aaon. Bhagwaan ji, aap toh jaante hi hain ki Sid bahut achha hai. Jaanti hoon pain mein hoga. Bas please, thoda uska pain mujhe dedo. Use pain mein sochkar bhi mujhe achha nahi lagta hai. Ab doctor hoon na, toh logon ko pain mein sochkar bura lagta hai. Aur yahan toh baat Sid ki hai. Toh... uska pain thoda kam kar do. Please?'

She gasped softly, as her fingers hit a big knot. She winced as she gently massaged it.

An ice pack suddenly appeared in her line of vision, and she looked up, finding Sanjana holding it out for her. She stared up in surprise, looking between her and the ice pack

"Dard kam ho jayego", Sanjana said.

"Th-thank you, m-ma'am", she said, accepting it. She gave her a smile, and Sanjana looked away, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Ab tu humare saath rahegi, toh hum nahi chahte ki raat ko roye aur humari neend kharaab kare", she said, moving to her own bed.

Monami tilted her head slightly, before giving her another bright smile."J-Jis bhi r-reason se k-kara ho, th-thank you." She kept it on her calf, wincing slightly at the coldness.

"Kal subah bhi jaldi uthna hogo", Sanjana said. "Time se so jaana. Warna Karan Sir ji ki sazaa ke liye taiyaar rehno."

She looked up. Sanjana was making her bed, clearly getting ready to go to sleep.

'Sanjana toh Karan ki dost hai shayad. Ho sakta hai ise pata ho ki maine uss Khadoos ka kya bigadha hai jo hamesha mere peechhe hi padha rehta hai. Pata chale aur meri sach mein meri hi koi galti nikli, toh maafi maang loongi. Jo bhi misunderstandings hai wo clear ho jayengi. Kahin in misunderstandings ki wajah se koi problem na ho jaye.'

Her eyes flitted to Sanjana again, and familiar panic flared up at the thought of having to talk to her.

'Chod, Monu. Bahut log ho gaye hain aaj. Koi zaroorat nahi hai. Waise bhi Karan ki dost hai, aur teri trainer hai. Just because nice bankar ice pack de diya, iska matlab yeh nahi hai ki tujhse baat karne mein woh interested hai. Tang mat kar. Woh bhi thak gayi hogi. Aur shaanti se bas sona chahti hogi.'

She looked back down, concentrating on massaging herself, and holding the ice pack. Her eyes drooped slightly, and she stifled a yawn, tired from the day's hard work.


DO NOT COPY THIS POST AS THIS IS EXCLUSIVE TO INDIA FORUMS


NoeticLife thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#66

NOTE FOR CHAPTER 5:

Here's chapter 5! It's a big one, over 5000 words. And the first day of training. I actually struggled a lot with this one, added a lot of things last minute and rewrote it multiple times. Not sure how good it is, but here it is. I hope you like it.


Points:

1. So, I wanted to make things very clear between Koel and Faizi about Nikhil. The reason for that is Koel knows Faizi is flirting with her and might end up actually liking her and not just playfully flirting. So, she wanted to make that clear to avoid future hurting. [Since I want to make her character mature and experienced in relationships.]


I don't think there's anything that needs to explained or commented on anymore.

Favorite part of the chapter? Favorite bond? Do tell if you feel something lacking (not enough concentration on someone or something particular) or if there's something you find too repetitive or too concentrated on.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! 

Phir_Mohabbat thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago
#67

I wish monu asks him why he calls her Rani sahiba. And in one glance he knows she's rich spoilt Falana dikana🤪 



Faizi was always nice. I like how his relationship with koel is going. 


Monu is too good for the world. Sid ka pain v use chahiye, aww. 

iAmSphere thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#68

Originally posted by: NoeticLife

NOTE FOR CHAPTER 5:

Here's chapter 5! It's a big one, over 5000 words. And the first day of training. I actually struggled a lot with this one, added a lot of things last minute and rewrote it multiple times. Not sure how good it is, but here it is. I hope you like it.


Points:

1. So, I wanted to make things very clear between Koel and Faizi about Nikhil. The reason for that is Koel knows Faizi is flirting with her and might end up actually liking her and not just playfully flirting. So, she wanted to make that clear to avoid future hurting. [Since I want to make her character mature and experienced in relationships.]


I don't think there's anything that needs to explained or commented on anymore.

Favorite part of the chapter? Favorite bond? Do tell if you feel something lacking (not enough concentration on someone or something particular) or if there's something you find too repetitive or too concentrated on.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! 

Read the chapter, will write in detail later. 

Edited by iAmSphere - 2 years ago
NoeticLife thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#69

Originally posted by: Haal-e-Dil

I wish monu asks him why he calls her Rani sahiba. And in one glance he knows she's rich spoilt Falana dikana🤪 

How the hell did you know what I was planning? 😆 I actually had this scene written ages ago where Monami asks him why he calls her Rani Sahiba. 🤣

Faizi was always nice. I like how his relationship with koel is going. 

Glad you like it. 👍🏼 Faizi is definitely a sweetheart.

Monu is too good for the world. Sid ka pain v use chahiye, aww. 

Definitely too good. 😳

FairyWings1234 thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#70

This chapter was beauts especially the Sanju-Monu scene.


Ps: I love how the characters are matured and understanding