Do you guys agree with Mumtaz's take on Boney/Sridevi? - Page 8

Originally posted by: MargaritaLover

Sri got pregnant before wedding. That too from her so called Rakhi brother Boney behind her best friend's back 🤢

and that was absolutely DISGUSTING! 🤢

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Falling in love is one thing,you can't help it but how do you justify being in love when you already have a partner and have begun to raise a family with her?  Even if his first marriage had already soured by then or whatever his excuse was , it's disturbing when somebody just thinks of abandonning their spouse .  If he can leave his wife for you he can definitely leave you for the next broad. 

A wise poet once said

"Save your advice, cause I won't hear

You might be right, but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants"

-----

What should someone do when they fall out of love with their significant other and in love with someone else? 

- break-up with your significant other so everyone can start moving on

- live two lives, one with the person you love, and the other with the person you used to love

- live a lie unhappily ever after where no one gets the love they desire

- other?

----

As my girl TayTay says

"Everybody has feelings and wants to be seen and loved. The idea that there’s some, like, some bad, villain girl in any type of situation who, like, takes your man is actually a total myth because that’s not usually the case at all.”  Re: August at the Long Pond Sessions

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

To be fair, Dharmendra really wanted to break his first marriage to be with Hema. His wife did not want a divorce due to the social stigma and out of respect for her wishes, he decided to convert to Islam to marry Hema Malini.

 

Originally posted by: nigahen

People do stop pretending in their 90s and 70s. That's why there are so many grumpy old people. Those people were always grumpy...they just didn't show it before because who likes grumpy people? In old age people stop caring about validation and how they are perceived. 

People ,some people, do stop pretending after a certain age but they aren't just going to air dirty laundry in public .  And these aren't regular people, they are celebrities, who are also parents of celebrities. They have a lot at stake.  She's old not senile.  Going by what I've seen of Hema and her conduct as an MP she sure loves validation , even where its not due.  

I was responding to your comment where you said he didn't leave her for another woman. The stress being on how faithful he has been to her . And I was saying we don't know for sure if he cheated on her or not because it's not as if she was going to tell the world about it and make things worse for her. She was not in a position to do anything about it and ruin her fragile love story  in the eyes of the people.  

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

A wise poet once said

"Save your advice, cause I won't hear

You might be right, but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants"

-----

What should someone do when they fall out of love with their significant other and in love with someone else? 

- break-up with your significant other so everyone can start moving on

- live two lives, one with the person you love, and the other with the person you used to love

- live a lie unhappily ever after where no one gets the love they desire

- other?

----

As my girl TayTay says

"Everybody has feelings and wants to be seen and loved. The idea that there’s some, like, some bad, villain girl in any type of situation who, like, takes your man is actually a total myth because that’s not usually the case at all.”  Re: August at the Long Pond Sessions

With due respect I don't know if Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are the wisest poets around lol. Either way I disagree with them.   The heart wants all kinds of things but one of the lessons you learn while entering adulthood is that you don't get everything you want ...and that there's a price for everything.   Not chasing your 'love' needn't mean you live a double life .  It could mean being a responsible adult who doesn't act on impulses.  Someone who thinks about others around them too.  Secondly love is a tricky word.  When people say love, they often mean infatuation. Or at best a kind of feeble love with lots of lust thrown in.  Obviously we are not the ones to decide for others , but does it make sense to wreck your family for love and then realise later on that it was only lust?  Thirdly, what if you end up falling in love again? Would it have been okay for Dharminder to leave Hema and 'marry ' another woman if he had fallen in love with her? At what point do we say it isn't worth uprooting a bunch of people to carry on like a suitcase on a carousel ? I'm all for the nuances of relationships and the complicated nature of infidelity but I just can't see falling in love as a good reason to dump your spouse with whom you got along well until then ( assuming that's the case here ) .  It's based on the myth that you need to be madly in love to stay married. 

@ bold : In this case the wife didn't have the option of moving on.  Being a divorcee and a mother of two decades ago pretty much meant that was it for you. It's not as if she could have gone to a pub to meet men again.   She d have had to lead a life of loneliness or wait for that person to come along ,in a society where people still think divorced women are damaged goods.  Which is why she begged him to not give her divorce and agreed to this weird ass negotiation of sharing him with the other woman.  As far as I know the latter went into depression, idk how true that is but I wouldn't be surprised. 

While Swift is right about the idea of a woman 'stealing' a man as if he has no agency of his own, it doesn't make the woman any less culpable if she lets him commit adultery with her. Just because he's to be blamed too ( a lot more ) it doesn't mean she's not a  part of it.  

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

People ,some people, do stop pretending after a certain age but they aren't just going to air dirty laundry in public .  And these aren't regular people, they are celebrities, who are also parents of celebrities. They have a lot at stake.  She's old not senile.  Going by what I've seen of Hema and her conduct as an MP she sure loves validation , even where its not due.  

I was responding to your comment where you said he didn't leave her for another woman. The stress being on how faithful he has been to her . And I was saying we don't know for sure if he cheated on her or not because it's not as if she was going to tell the world about it and make things worse for her. She was not in a position to do anything about it and ruin her fragile love story  in the eyes of the people.  

Hema is a very cunning woman....she knew that people will cry KARMA....anyways...whatever justifications people are giving here are all from a practical perspective....but still doesn't make cheating correct....if we start condoning cheating.....every single cheating partner will come up with a sob story...there is a story behind even the serious crimes committed.....doesn't make a wrong..right...maybe reduces the guilt a little ..that is all...

Sunny Deol did the same to his wife....because he saw that what his dad did to his Mom was kind of accepted....and BTW...people who think that Dharam's wife was OK with this cheating...she was not...the 4 kids of Dharam must have seen it...that is the reason why none of them have warmed upto Hema or her kids up till now....all I want is to call a wrong as a wrong...otherwise there is justification for everything..

BTW I had read somewhere that in one state of USA....this wife had sued her husband's lover....alienation of affection...and she won the case....very rare but it did happen..

Originally posted by: blue-ice.1

Oh....Mahanta ki devi Hema...😳....She let Dharmendra see his first wife and kids....wah wah

 Haan inka dil qaafi bada hai 😆.  

( Actually if she had tried to stop him from seeing her  he probably would have given in... It happens so often ) 

When my dad pulled over to get cigarettes his current wife turns around and tells me " I don't want to ruin you or anything. I don't hate you ".  I said "Oh ??" But In my head I was like "Warna Kya ukhaad leti ! I'm not Cinderella but you sure do look like a pumpkin ".  I think underneath the drama she's a  nice person and I'd rather hang out with her than him so the joke is on her if she thinks there's any rivalry from my side. 

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

A wise poet once said

"Save your advice, cause I won't hear

You might be right, but I don't care

There's a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants"

-----

What should someone do when they fall out of love with their significant other and in love with someone else? 

- break-up with your significant other so everyone can start moving on

- live two lives, one with the person you love, and the other with the person you used to love

- live a lie unhappily ever after where no one gets the love they desire

- other?

----

As my girl TayTay says

"Everybody has feelings and wants to be seen and loved. The idea that there’s some, like, some bad, villain girl in any type of situation who, like, takes your man is actually a total myth because that’s not usually the case at all.”  Re: August at the Long Pond Sessions

The one post that has disappointed me the most on this forum ever is this one.....never expected this from the always (99.99%) reasonable and logical RTH....😭 

Originally posted by: blue-ice.1

Hema is a very cunning woman....she knew that people will cry KARMA....anyways...whatever justifications people are giving here are all from a practical perspective....but still doesn't make cheating correct....if we start condoning cheating.....every single cheating partner will come up with a sob story...there is a story behind even the serious crimes committed.....doesn't make a wrong..right...maybe reduces the guilt a little ..that is all...

Sunny Deol did the same to his wife....because he saw that what his dad did to his Mom was kind of accepted....and BTW...people who think that Dharam's wife was OK with this cheating...she was not...the 4 kids of Dharam must have seen it...that is the reason why none of them have warmed upto Hema or her kids up till now....all I want is to call a wrong as a wrong...otherwise there is justification for everything..

BTW I had read somewhere that in one state of USA....this wife had sued her husband's lover....alienation of affection...and she won the case....very rare but it did happen..

Yeah Dharam's first wife could have sued  , in theory.  If she could prove things were going well until then.  

This family friend of ours just randomly moved in with HER friend,I.e his wife's friend .  You'd think a society that shames women for the slightest of things would have gone after them but nope.  He was wealthy and slightly influential so pretty much everyone sucked up to him and chose to ignore it.  His wife who is a lovely lady as far as I know ,could do nothing about it. He claimed  she was unfaithful and got neighbours to give false testimony in court.   For the sake of argument even if you consider his side of the story, it looks foul to me the moment I know it was her close friend tht he had been screwing.  A bit too much of a coincidence.  

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

With due respect I don't know if Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are the wisest poets around lol. 

How dare you? 😡😆

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

The heart wants all kinds of things but one of the lessons you learn while entering adulthood is that you don't get everything you want ...and that there's a price for everything. 

To be honest, even for mature responsible adults, making the right choice is easier said than done. But yes, I wholeheartedly agree with the concept that we make choices and there are consequences for it. You won't be able to escape the consequences of your actions forever. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Not chasing your 'love' needn't mean you live a double life .  It could mean being a responsible adult who doesn't act on impulses.  Someone who thinks about others around them too.  Secondly love is a tricky word.  When people say love, they often mean infatuation. Or at best a kind of feeble love with lots of lust thrown in.  Obviously we are not the ones to decide for others , but does it make sense to wreck your family for love and then realise later on that it was only lust?  Thirdly, what if you end up falling in love again? Would it have been okay for Dharminder to leave Hema and 'marry ' another woman if he had fallen in love with her? At what point do we say it isn't worth uprooting a bunch of people to carry on like a suitcase on a carousel ? I'm all for the nuances of relationships and the complicated nature of infidelity but I just can't see falling in love as a good reason to dump your spouse with whom you got along well until then ( assuming that's the case here ) .  It's based on the myth that you need to be madly in love to stay married. 

@ bold : In this case the wife didn't have the option of moving on.  Being a divorcee and a mother of two decades ago pretty much meant that was it for you. It's not as if she could have gone to a pub to meet men again.   She d have had to lead a life of loneliness or wait for that person to come along ,in a society where people still think divorced women are damaged goods.  Which is why she begged him to not give her divorce and agreed to this weird ass negotiation of sharing him with the other woman.  As far as I know the latter went into depression, idk how true that is but I wouldn't be surprised. 

I am going to speak in general terms, outside of very specific celebrity relationships. 

I do agree that marriage is a serious commitment. When you have kids, you have deepened that commitment. And you will always have a responsibility to your spouse and kids. That is why if there is a problem in the marriage, you have the responsibility to work on it. You have to do your best to salvage it. But salvaging means everyone finds a way to be happy and thrive. If there will be bitterness and resentment that you can't get over, it will lead to a very toxic environment. If your marriage risks becoming toxic, it is best to divorce. 

Arranged marriages in India make the marriage commitment more complicated. Young men and women were forced or emotionally coerced and guilted into marrying someone their families chose for them. Not all families did a good job of considering compatibility. Also, divorce was taboo - especially for the woman. It basically entrapped people in bad marriages. 

Going into specifics - Dharmendra was married to his wife at 19. They probably had kids out of obligation. It is not at all surprising that they drifted apart and he was enamored with a coworker with whom he spent a lot of time and had more chemistry. I don't think it was his fault that he married young and wanted to be with a different woman later. I don't think it was his wife's fault that divorce was a taboo and she had to be in a marriage with a man who didn't love her the way she deserved. I don't think it was Hema's fault for falling for someone either. 

Similarly, Boney made a choice to leave his wife for Sridevi. I don't know the details and cannot judge if he made any effort to salvage his first marriage or how it came to be. But due to the taboo of divorce and separation, the woman was emotionally traumatized and continued to live with her in-laws. 

Ultimately, in my view, the problem is a society that compels women to stay in unhappy marriages. Both Dharmendra and Boney's wives would be happier if society said - its not your fault he doesn't want in this marriage - you do you girl - you deserve to get out there and find your happiness. 

I will always maintain society is at fault with its inflexibility. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

While Swift is right about the idea of a woman 'stealing' a man as if he has no agency of his own, it doesn't make the woman any less culpable if she lets him commit adultery with her. Just because he's to be blamed too ( a lot more ) it doesn't mean she's not a  part of it.  

Have you seen "The Long Pond Sessions?" In context, it makes a lot more sense. She talks about her personal journey of hating the women her boyfriends cheated on her and saying/writing mean things about and embracing the fact that they were humans too. Sometimes, life is too short to keep blaming someone for stealing what was yours.