The negativity of word Kanyadaan stems from the narrow minded people who are stuck up on word Kanya and Daan.. but there is/was auspicious significance behind it. Girl is not praya dhan or being donated here. That is why mantra spoken at the time of Kanyadaan is different from all the mantras spoken at the time of donation/daan.. anyways let me get to the point where I show what it actually means..
In the religious realm, lucky are the parents who get daughters because they get the opportunity to purify their sins(even the one's made in previous births).
The bride is treated as incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi, not the so called objectification as people believe it today. So all the mantra's spoken at time of Kanyadaan are to seek blessings of the god that the parents of the bride have performed their responsibility of making Goddess Lakshmi meet the groom who is believed to be incarnation of God Vishnu. Parents of the bride have fulfilled their dharma, they have done the most divine act uniting Lakshmi back with her Vishnu and now the parents of daughter can attain Moksha..
One of the mantras literally means that parents are thanking god Vishnu for giving the opportunity to raise a daughter and now give rightfully back to him. As part of the cycle of birth and life to continue its important that Lashmi and Vishnu meet continue that cycle.
That is nice to read and thanks for sharing it. I did not know most of it. I then refered to this, and you are quite right: https://penguin.co.in/understanding-the-kanyaadaan-ceremony-an-excerpt-from-vedic-wedding-book/
But one point I still find troublesome.
With this in my mind, and with this ritual and before the ceremonial water is poured,
May I offer you, who are in the form of Vishnu, my daughter
in the form of Lakshmi.
Incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi (bride) is still being offered to incarnation of Vishnu (groom), while the opposite doesn't happen. It does come down to ownership of the woman being carried over from the parents to the groom and his family.
And that is also fine, really to an extent. The real problem IMO is, some of these rituals have gotten corrupted over time - by us practicing Hindus and the preachers, to suit one gender. Kanya being interpreted as Godess Lakshmi has led to the tradition of dowry which leads to other domestic crimes against women. There is no justification for dowry, especially in well off families, but it still happens even in the biggest metros and cities and with the richest families. Aur rural areas mein toh rehne hi do. And this is despite it being illegal.
The other issue is, there is no such tradition for the groom. The Groom is being called the all powerful Vishnu reincarnation and is not offered to incarnation of Goddess Lakshmi.
There are many such issues that have crept in which stand against women empowerment. If people in power positions are bringing light to it, I do not see a problem with it.
And to the people saying entertainment industry is Hinduphobic and has always been trying to put down Hindus. I think most of our movies and shows have Muslim villains, there are scenes showing Muslim villains / terrorists reading namaaz and then going out to kill innocents. indulging in illegal activities, etc. That is what the majority of the mainstream movies show and rightly so, because it reflects the reality of our times. If the same industry is showing the darker side of other religion, I do not see any issues in that because that too is a reality we live in
With the custom of arranged marriage being prevalent, the newlywed is supposed to reside with her husband and in-laws. Being new to the family, the custom arose of befriending another woman as her friend (kangan-saheli) or sister (dharam-behn) for life. The friendship would be sanctified through a Hindu ritual during the marriage ceremony itself. The bride's friend would usually be of the same age (or slightly older), typically married into the same village (so that she would not go away) and not directly related to her in-laws (so there was no conflict of interest later). A few days before Karva Chauth, married women would buy new karvas and paint them on the outside with beautiful designs. Inside, they would put bangles and ribbons, home-made candy and sweets, make-up items, and small clothes. The women would then visit each other on the day of Karva Chauth and exchange these karvas.
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