Originally posted by: sweet_tania
“it's said that when a person starts her own Grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere”
@bold : This can be applies to only to those couple who are living separately. “Own grihasthi “ is only possible for the couple who are living separately.
“Grihasthi “ when includes shared kitchen , shared house, shared thought processes , it automatically gives license to everybody in speaking in between. It is reality of “Shared Grihasthi”.
Look at baa, Rashan ka saman jaha se hamesha discount mai lete hai waha se he lena chahiye. Why it’s hard and fast rule??? Agar kinjal/Kavya/anupama kisi bhi woman ki khud ki akele ki grihasthi hoti toh aise hard and fast rule follow karne padte? Nope but this house is shared and “Grihasthi” is also shared so baa got right to interfere in the shop selection methodology. It is very small things and when you are living in “shared grihasthi “ , such a small methodological changes should be acceptable easily since paying person has no issue in paying and they want to earn their own learning experiences about “Grihasthi” even though it’s “Shared Grihasthi”.
As you said when person starts her own grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere, still baa has this license for years to interfere in kinjal,anupama and kavya’s grihasthi since years just because it is “shared grihasthi”.
Look at baa and anupama both , In kavya’s grihasthi Kavya likes to wear ultra modern london nighty in the house , kavya’s nighty was neither breast/cleavage revealing nor waist revealing and not at all cheap/vulger still she listened anupama’s senseless lectures about office ke kapde/ghar ke kapde lecture just because it is “shared grihasthi “ so ultra modern stylish kapdo se agar dusre awkward ho jate hai toh you should stop wearing it outside the bedroom. Kavya bikini mai nahi ghum rahi thi and na he vulger/cheap dikh rahi thi still she is not allowed to live after marriage the way she wants to or she is comfortable with , why ? because this “Shared Grihasthi “.
Grihasthi word is not limited to husband and wife only . Before my phere, I remember pandit had told us grihasthi includes kitchen decisions, house decisions, finance decisions, child decision and these all things are pointing that we are entering in “Grihasthashram”.
If after marriage you are living with other relatives then you will always going to live in “shared grihasthi “ . In your own grihasthi you can eat/sit/talk/wear the way you want but in shared grihasthi you have to follow all the hard/fast rules of existing system which baa type elders has already defined so basically you have to fit in .
If after marriage you are going to live in joint family then
“it's said that when a person starts her own Grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere” this line doesn’t make any sense seeing baa and anupama type relatives around.
According to all I might be wrong. I have 12 bhabhis. They are all staying with with their FIL's brothers and their families. Means 2 Kakaji and their Bahus also... We all come from Mehsana and only my family is staying separate.
We haven't treated any DIL as a DIL. But family mamlo mein ladki ke maa baap interference allowed nahi hai. May be we have a reserved thinking. Tumne bataya aisi soch bhi ho sakti hai...
Have a lot to say but...I am not able to explain it. Post mein pehle hi likha tha acc to all I may be wrong. There are various experiences which make me think this way. But have no energy to argue with all
Not saying that Kinjal should not stay separate, but let it be the couples decide. My father decided to separate because his career demanded and my mother wanted to take care of my brother
❤❤❤
Kosha
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