Idea turned to reality

Anupama talks to Rakhi regarding staying separate. Rakhi had no right to speak all these things to Anupama. It should be Kinjal and Toshu saying that they wanna stay seperate. Some people will say that Rakhi is thinking for her child. But it's said that when a person starts her own Grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere. If Kinjal herself says that she wanna be separate, then I would have supported her. 

Anupama and Kinjal ka scene bahut mast hai. Anupama being free that Kinjal and Toshu can stay separate. But reality mein society baate banati hai, ki bahu ko saans ke saath nahi banti. Ya phir maa ki wajah se beti saans se dur ho gai. I know we don't live for the society, but this is my experience speaking. Because of the dignity, DIL won't leave separate.

I will look wrong here I don't know. Rakhi will manage the house for Kinjal and Toshu,when she stays separate, this is a huge disappointment. Shaadi karne ke baad, kamaane ke baad meri maa mere liye ghar arrange kare yeh mujhe pasand nahi. Alag rehna jitna achha sunai deta hai, utna achha hota nahi hai shayad, Serial mein couple romance dikhate hai, real life middle class couple, kaam kar kar ke thak jaate hai. But assuming Rakhi will hire a maid so it will get easy. KINJAL AND TOSHU CAN STAY SEPARATE, BUT WITH THEIR OWN EARNINGS. I am not liking Rakhi's interference at all. 

Vanraj is still trying to motivate himself. Anupama suggests him to open a cafe in her dance school. Kavya on the other side is trying to find a job for both of them. Even Kavya knows that Vanraj is not gonna find a job. Isiliye kuchh business hi start karna padega. Dono milkar business kare yeh hi behtar hai But this thing Kavya won't understand. She still wanna think that she will decide what Vee will do and that's why Kavya cannot digest Anupama's idea is somewhat considerable. 

The idea of cafe is OK. But I think yeh story ko connected dikhana hai. That's why Anupama and Vanraj should run a fast food restaurant. Anupama Annapurna hai 🤣, to restaurant zyada achha chalega. Kya hai cafe mein sirf Vanraj hoga, par yahan Annapurna bhi hogi. Cafe mein kuchh umra ke log aate hai. Par restaurant mein bahut log aate hai. TO Anupama ki Popularity badhegi, jisase Anupama ki pehchaan badhegi. 

Everyone supports Anupama opening a cafe in a dance school. Vanraj gets extremely happy listening how the business will grow. But it's a cafe. Cafe aise hi nahi khul jaata. Vanraj savings are coming to an end, how he will manage funds is the biggest question. Manpower's salary. He has to buy the apparatus. How he will manage is a big question? To start a business multiple ideas pass, but where the business is feasible and making profit is to be considered. Vanraj ne ek jhatke mein haa bol diya. 

“it's said that when a person starts her own Grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere”

@bold : This can be applies to only to those couple who are living separately. “Own grihasthi “ is only possible for the couple who are living separately.

“Grihasthi “ when includes shared kitchen , shared house, shared thought processes , it automatically gives license to everybody in speaking in between. It is reality of “Shared Grihasthi”.

Look at baa, Rashan ka saman jaha se hamesha discount mai lete hai waha se he lena chahiye. Why it’s hard and fast rule??? Agar kinjal/Kavya/anupama kisi bhi woman ki khud ki akele ki grihasthi hoti toh aise hard and fast rule follow karne padte? Nope but this house is shared and “Grihasthi” is also shared so baa got right to interfere in the shop selection methodology. It is very small things and when you are living in “shared grihasthi “ , such a small methodological changes should be acceptable easily since paying person has no issue in paying and they want to earn their own learning experiences about “Grihasthi” even though it’s “Shared Grihasthi”.

As you said when person starts her own grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere, still baa has this license for years to interfere in kinjal,anupama and kavya’s grihasthi since years just because it is “shared grihasthi”. 

Look at baa and anupama both , In kavya’s grihasthi Kavya likes to wear ultra modern london nighty in the house , kavya’s nighty was neither breast/cleavage revealing nor waist revealing and not at all cheap/vulger still she listened anupama’s senseless lectures about office ke kapde/ghar ke kapde lecture just because it is “shared grihasthi “ so ultra modern stylish kapdo se agar dusre awkward ho jate hai toh you should stop wearing it outside the bedroom.  Kavya bikini mai nahi ghum rahi thi  and na he vulger/cheap dikh rahi thi still she is not allowed to live after marriage the way she wants to or she is comfortable with , why ? because this “Shared Grihasthi “. 

Grihasthi word is not limited to husband and wife only . Before my phere, I remember pandit had told us grihasthi includes kitchen decisions, house decisions, finance decisions, child decision and these all things are pointing that we are entering in “Grihasthashram”. 

If after marriage you are living with other relatives then you will always going to live in “shared grihasthi “ . In your own grihasthi you can eat/sit/talk/wear the way you want but in shared grihasthi you have to follow all the hard/fast rules of existing system which baa type elders has already defined so basically you have to fit in . 

If after marriage you are going to live in joint family then 
“it's said that when a person starts her own Grihasthi, parents are not allowed to interfere”  this line doesn’t make any sense seeing baa and anupama type relatives around.

I agree with Tania here ..we are struck in a social structure here where it is ok for a boy fam.to intervene and not ok for a gals. Just because they are in a shared household ..

Look whatever Rakhi maybe u cannot discount that she loves and cares for Kinju baby. She wants the first few years of the marriage to be of bonding caring . Honestly it's the first few years when that equation gets set btw spouses . They get to enjoy explore each other as peeps. In this madhouse they never seem to have fun or enjoyment 

In our house all decisions used to be taken democratically for certain things on monthly budget meeting. Some of these even we kids had a say.

My nana has taken many suggestions on savings money on paper subscription, buying second hand books instead of new and things like that

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

I agree with Tania here ..we are struck in a social structure here where it is ok for a boy fam.to intervene and not ok for a gals. Just because they are in a shared household ..

Look whatever Rakhi maybe u cannot discount that she loves and cares for Kinju baby. She wants the first few years of the marriage to be of bonding caring . Honestly it's the first few years when that equation gets set btw spouses . They get to enjoy explore each other as peeps. In this madhouse they never seem to have fun or enjoyment 

In our house all decisions used to be taken democratically for certain things on monthly budget meeting. Some of these even we kids had a say.

My nana has taken many suggestions on savings money on paper subscription, buying second hand books instead of new and things like that

@bold : Exactly! we are stuck in social structure where it is completely ok for boy moms to intervene and not ok for a girl mom. Since last 25 years where is anupama's grihasthi???? I am seeing only baa's grihasthy since baa is boy mom so baa has all the right to intervene in the "shared grihasthi". Anupama's mom is girl mom so she has no right to speak for her daughter's grihasthi and look where is anupama from last 25 years of marriage!!! lol no grihasthi even in shared grihasthi!! vanraj's mom has all the rights to intervene in this "shared grihasthi" culture but anupama's mom couldn't advice her daughter to think about her own life during those 25 years of "shared grihasthi"

There was no grihasthy for anupama yesterday and there is no grihasthi for kinjal/kavya today since everyone has to fit themselves in the existing system which is created by baa since years. 

I am extremely happy to see girl moms are also voicing for their daughter's future in the shared grahasthi culture just like boy mom like baa are doing for years in the household. Glad to see jo galti anupama ki maa ne ki ,wohi galti rakhi nahi kar rahi hai.Kya mila anupama ko 25 saal ki shaddi mai?? Grahasthi hamesha baa ki he rahi ,anupama ki kabhi koi grahasthi shaddi ke baad bhi nahi hui. 

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

I agree with Tania here ..we are struck in a social structure here where it is ok for a boy fam.to intervene and not ok for a gals. Just because they are in a shared household ..

Look whatever Rakhi maybe u cannot discount that she loves and cares for Kinju baby. She wants the first few years of the marriage to be of bonding caring . Honestly it's the first few years when that equation gets set btw spouses . They get to enjoy explore each other as peeps. In this madhouse they never seem to have fun or enjoyment 

In our house all decisions used to be taken democratically for certain things on monthly budget meeting. Some of these even we kids had a say.

My nana has taken many suggestions on savings money on paper subscription, buying second hand books instead of new and things like that

@bold:

In our society, when you go as daughter in law to someone's house, society/family expects you should adopt/accept methods/norms/culture of their house but this is very selfish and one sided expectation. Nobody can change their living style/food habits/cloths of 25-26 years for anybody. Daughter in law of joint family can do compromise for certain things but not for everything.  

Look at kinjal's condition, only daughter who lived completely different life in her own house and also trying her level best to adjust with this circus/daily soap family. When you do daily hard work in office/house, you deserves some good outings/vacations with your life partner . Here kinjal's life is full of mother in law and step mother in law's daily dramas.

Every young working women doesn't deserve life what anupama lived years back and what anupama is living today. 

You have not taken birth on the earth just to work 24/7 and dedicate your life to adjustments and daily dramas.In this age every husband and wife works hard, build their life together and of course live their life to the fullest and it is basic right of every young couple.

I never appreciate the thought process of any in law family with the words " This is our house system, hum aj tak aise he jite aye hai and you should also mold yourself in the same system", Hell no! As a woman,we have not taken birth to fit in the existing systems of husband's house, we're born to stand out"

  daughter in law mayka can interference. I am not saying mayka walon ko bina wajah interference karna chahiye 

Bina wajah interference ke mai paksh mein nahin hoon 

But yes agar mayke paksh yeh dekh raha hai ki uski beti ke saath galat ho raha hai to interference ka pura right hai. Akhir mayka walon ne bhi  beti ko padhya likhaya use paida kiya   to mayka walon ka right hai ki agar beti ke saath galat ho raha hai to mayka paksh iske against bol sakta hai aur mayka paksh beti ke naam Financial security bhi kar sakta hai. Isme khuch bhi immoral nahin khuch bhi ilalegal nahin 

Aur sabse bhi rakhi ki aise koi majboori to nahin ki woh  kinjal ko support na kar paye 

Haan   jin parents ki financial condition sahi nahin hoti to unhe na chahte hue bhi beti ke saath galat ho rahe tolerate karna padta hai 

But rakhi financial weak nahin hai to rakhi ki aisi koi majboori nahin ki kinjal ke saath galat hota rahe aur rakhi khuch na bole 

Bas 

I have read little bit manusmriti  ki usme daughter in law ko queen ki position di gayi hai ki tum queen ban ke is ghar ka supervisiion karo

I am also seeing from my pov here ..u have only one child my J who is gal and about 4 years now 

I know I will stand by her and support her in her dreams and aspirations no matter what 

My bro for example has gone against convention and has stood by me in many ways to count. Of course there are times when I feel he is over protective. But he's non judgemental and mostly hassle free. Only requirement is no lies and to keep him in loop in what's happening in my life 

So am I bitching If I share most things since conventionally he is an outsider. For me not does not matter what anyone thinks..we are ok and my spouse is in loop so rest can stay away

I think yeh vanraj jitna mew mew karta, hai anupama ke samne. Agar vanraj phir financial strong ho gaya to yeh apna phan anupama ke samne phir uthayega. Aakhir anupama ko itna concern kyon hai vanraj ke liye

Better hai anupama vanya aur kavya ki problem se door rahe  yeh unki problem hai vanya khud apna dekh lenge

Kyu bhai, why can't Rakhi 'interfere'? Anupamaa ya Baa bolein toh guidance. Rakhi bole toh interference? Let's not forget that Rakhi is as much a mother to Kinjal & Toshu as Anu.

And she isn't asking the couple to move in with her. She doesn't want a free ki maid till Jhilmil comes back. She is asking them to move to a separate home of their own. Rakhi doesn't even expect them to abandon the family. Her only motivation is for Kinjal & Toshu to live their life too. She's totally right in getting worried that their life is stuck between office & home this early, and professional life that's getting affected by avoidable personal drama. Shah's are clowns. And the couple will thrive better out of this circus. Forget the young ones, even Anu needs to move out to live her best life.

Originally posted by: surabhi01

I have read little bit manusmriti  ki usme daughter in law ko queen ki position di gayi hai ki tum queen ban ke is ghar ka supervisiion karo

But in the Shah household, daughter-in-laws are not Maharani. They are naukrani.

Manusmriti is nothing in front of Baa's desire for thinner chapaati's🤣 She'll get it by hook or by crook. Fir chaahe Anupamaa ki divorce ke baad bhi maid banaa kar pade, ya Kinjal ko constantly pressurise karna pade.