Krish looked at his notebook then at Shiva. He had one question burning at the back of his mind. No one else was at home and this was the best time to ask him this. He was sure Shiva would hit him if he asked his question, but he really needed to know. So he dropped his notebook to the floor and went and sat next to Shiva who was eating chips on the sofa.
“Ek question tha.” Krish said
“Kya question?” Shiva asked.
“Tu pehle promise kar tu marega nahi.”
This got Shiva’s attention. He dropped his packet of chips on the table and looked at Krish. He was blushing profusely and Shiva knew he had nothing decent on his mind. He rubbed off his hand on his shirt and nodded. He had no intention of keeping his promise.
“Tujhe kabhi kisi ladki ko dekhke attraction hua hai?” Krish asked. “Matlab physical attraction.”
“Kyu? Tujhe ho raha hai kisi ko dekhke attraction?” Shiva asked.
“Nahi bhai. Mai toh sirf general knowledge ke liye puch raha hu.” Krish asked.
“Haa hua hain. Toh?”
Now Krish was curious as to who was this girl, but he knew if he asked that, he would definitely be beaten up by Shiva. He had an idea who it could be and he really wanted to know if he was right.
“Kaun hai woh ladki?” Krish asked.
“Tujhse matlab.”
“Woh bhi tujhse attracted hai?” Krish asked.
“Tujhe bara interest aa raha hai meri life mein.”
“Hum bhai hai. Ek dusre ke saath apni feelings share kar sakte hai.”
“Koi ghatiya hindi film dekhke aaya hai kya?”
Krish knew he needed to change his strategy. Shiva wouldn’t answer his questions straight. So, risking a good beating from Shiva, decided to try again. After all, his observations had made him really curious about everything.
“Ek ladki hai mere college mein.” Krish started. “Waise mujhe woh kuch khaas pasand nahi par bohot hot hai!”
“Tu yeh sab karne jata hai college! Aane de Gaumbi ko, sab batata hu.”
“Main tere saath feelings share kar raha hu. Tu Gaumbi ko kyu beech mein la raha hai.” Krish whined. “Tujhe kabhi aisa hua hai?”
“Dekh beta, ladkiyon pe itna dhyaan mat de. Padhai pe focus kar.”
Now Krish had had it. It was impossible to talk to Shiva. He was like a closed shell, no matter how much you tried to open him, he just wouldn’t open.
“Kaunsi ladki?”
Krish heard this voice and knew now there was zero chance of Shiva opening up. Raavi had come to Pandya house and was standing before them. She was looking excited like hell.
“Mere future devar ko pyaar ho gaya hai?” Raavi asked.
Shiva hit his head. Now two idiots were in this house. He had no peace.
“Pyaar kaha. Mujhe woh pasand tak nahi hai. Par bohot hot hai.” Krish wanted to give it a last try.
“Ae Krish. Ladkiyon ki izzat kar. Kya hot? Beautiful bol.” Raavi said. “Aur pasand kyu nahi hai tujhe?”
“Bohot zyada bolti hai.”
“Haa toh bolne de. Uska muh hai. Uska mann. Tujhe kya problem hai? Tu na iss bhootnath ke saath itna time spend karna badh kar de. Bilkul iske jaisa hi banta jaa raha hai!”
“Ae mami ki behen ki beti, mera bhai meri tarah hi banega.” Shiva said. “Krish, aisi pagal ladkiyon se na zara dur hi rehna.”
“Nahi. Ek Shiva kaafi hai!” Raavi said.
Krish’s plan failed once again. They had started fighting once again. But perhaps there was another way!
“Tu bata na apni wali ke baare mein.” Krish asked.
Raavi looked confused and Shiv looked as if he were ready to kill him.
“Apni wali matlab?”
“Shiva ne abhi kaha tha ki koi hai jisse use physical attraction hai.”
Krish noticed Raavi’s face. It was as if someone had told her there was no Santa Clause. There was confusion, shock, hurt, anger, and jealousy all rolled in one. Looks like his plan was working.
“Kaun hai woh?”
Krish shrugged his shoulders. Raavi snatched Shiva’s chips packet and pulled Krish away from the sofa and sat next to Shiva.
“Kaun hai woh chudail?”
“Tujhe kya?” Shiva asked.
“Bara secretive ban raha hai uss ladki ke baare mein.” Krish said and Shiva gave him a death glare.
“Tu bata mujhe abhi. Main tujhe aur uss ladki dono ko thik kar dungi.” She showed her fist.
“Ae maami ki behen ki beti, bhag yaha se. Aa jaati hai kabhi bhi dimaag khaane.”
“Oh Shiva, baat ko mat ghuma. Bata mujhe.” Raavi said. “Kutti, kamini, chudail kahi ki. Mere Shiva pe nazar daalti hai.”
This time both Shiva and Krish were shocked. Krish got one side of his answer and now he was happy. The other side, who knows? Maybe this conversation needed more fuel.
“Yeh aapke mere Shiva kab se ho gaye? Abhi tak toh mera Dev chal raha tha.”
Raavi blushed. “Haa toh... Shiva bhi... matlab dost hai. Toh Shiva bhi mera hua.” She didn’t know why she couldn’t bring herself to call him devar.
“Dono aapke kaise ho sakte hai. Aap kya Draupadi part two ho?” Krish laughed. Then he realised the full implication of his statement, and stopped laughing.
“Bakwaas mat kar Krish. Bhaag yaha se.” Raavi said.
Gladly, Krish thought and went out to meet his friends, leaving Raavi and Shiva alone in the house. Atleast he got one side of the story. He’ll surely get to know the other side later.
“Ab bata kaun hai woh?” Raavi asked.
“Tu yeh girlfriend jaisi harkate kyu kar rahi hai?”
“Shiva main kabse puch rahi hu tujhse. Baat mat ghuma! Kaun hai woh?”
“Mami ki behen ki beti.”
“Kya?”
Shiva rolled his eye. This chipkali was too dumb. She took three minutes to realise.
“Sachhi?”
“Haa woh ek number ki chudail, kutti, kamini, chipkali hai.”
Raavi laughed. “Gadhera, pehle bol deta. Mujhe kab se yeh Dev ka drama karna par raha hai.”
Now was Shiva’s turn to be shocked. “Tu Dev ko nahi pasand karti?”
“Bilkul nahi. Main toh apne bhooto ke raaja se pyaar karti hu.” Raavi kissed him on the cheek.
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