Shiva closed his eyes as he leaned forward under the cold shower. After tossing and turning for hours he decided to quit trying to sleep entirely. It was 4 am so it was no use wishing for a full night of sleep. Instead, he decided to do something he would never dream of doing under normal circumstances. He stepped into a cold shower (thankfully his uncle’s mansion had plenty of bathrooms with showers). Heck he couldn’t imagine facing anyone like this.
Why? Because his entire body felt like it was on fire. Because he was plagued by dreams of something (rather someone) he could never have. Because he couldn’t stop thinking of how it would feel to touch her... to have her touch him and for them to lose themselves as their bodies connected at that one sweet spot. Shiva opened his eyes quickly and ran his hands over his face. No! He was not one to lose control so easily. As the water worked it’s way down his body, he forced himself to think of anything but HER. Each and every time he closed his eyes, he saw those innocent doe eyes, sensuously puckered lips and those goddamn dark tresses. It was driving him insane! She appeared in his dreams at an alarming rate since the fateful day they got kidnapped, forcing him to call them nightmares once he woke up and realized what his mind was cooking. Initially he dreamt of that moment when he leaned forward to adjust her saree. It seemed like the practical thing to do at the time. But as soon as he leaned forward, her scent and warmth engulfed him. Never had he realized how soft and sweet her scent was and how alluring her mere presence can be. As he held her saree between his teeth and slowly moved up, he could sense her breath quicken. Although he was sure it was out of shock, Shiva couldn’t help but feel his own heart race. He swallowed hard as he recalled that moment.
When he reached the top of her shoulder and let go of the cloth, a part of him wanted to linger. To stay. To feel. But thankfully, they were interrupted and he was able to push those scary thoughts away. But only in that moment.
Since that day, almost every night he would dream of her. Of that moment, of every other moment whether they have happened in reality or not! In these particular dreams, he would see passion (directed towards him) in her eyes. He would hear her lips scream his name in ecstasy. In all his dreams, her hair would fall down her back, revealing the goddess she was. He was having bloody erotic dreams about MammiKiBehenKiBeti. And for that, he deserved a lifetime punishment of showering everyday, Shiva thought as he sighed and chucked bitterly. He turned off the water and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist. In the past few years, he had stayed away from any strong intimacy. He had a few one night stands at hotels but once the allure wore off, he found himself sleeping alone more often than not. He was usually able to keep his desires in check. But not since that day, not when she was so close.
Growing up, whenever he would see her only one face would flash into his mind. But these days, the only thing flashing before him were moments when they came close. Or rather moments when they didn’t threaten to destroy one another. Moments when he felt a spark that couldn’t be explained in words. It was as if he felt her presence in an entirely different way. That very idea was far from comforting.
The night after the kidnapping, when he saw her sleeping by the cupboard a feeling entirely new and almost frightening took over him. She looked so soft, so fragile sitting there with her eyes closed. He wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her that he was not going to leave her with those goons. The thought would never cross his mind. Instead, he picked her up and laid her on the makeshift bed that he himself kept her away from the night before. Their wedding night. Before he could process anything further she woke up. “I hate you Shiva.” Those words were enough to tell him how this tale ends.
Walking out of the bathroom, Shiva tossed on his clothes and sat down on his bed. There she lay on the other side of the bed. As far away as she could possibly be. Covering his face with his hands, he sighed frantically. He didn’t like feeling this way! He absolutely hated feeling confused! He hated the fact that his heart actually hurt each time he saw Raavi walk away. Each time he heard those three words repeat declaring her hatred for him. He hated that he felt desire each time he looked at her! Most of all, he hated knowing that he had feelings other than complete and utter indifference toward MammiKiBehenKiBeti.
The End
Hi everyone,
I recently started watching Pandya Store and I’m loving Shivi! This is a rewrite of my Ronakshi OS - Sleepless Nights at Malabar Hills. Hope you guys like it!
- Esha ❤️
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