Disclaimer: This is NOT a justification for Shaurya’s behaviour, but merely an attempt to understand why he is behaving in the way he did. Since I am a person who enjoys villains and grey characters, complex and psychologically layered characters instead of uni-dimensional heroes out to save the world, I can’t help but be intrigued by the maze that SS is proving to be. Here’s to hopes that I do not get lost trying to figure him out. Grab a cup of coffee to read this one and do leave your thoughts
I`ll start with this quote:
‘We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience’ L.L.Hay
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So guys, Aaj ka shubh samachar yeh hain ki, Prof. Shaurya Sabherwal has fully activated his defence mechanism because a “small town girl” has entered his territory and has affected him in ways that she should not have. Let me stress how important this episode is, for it highlighted the major theme of the show - the conflict between sochs/beliefs. Let me also thank the makers for not making him apologise at this point, because (1) It would not be heartfelt since from the bottom of his heart he does not think he said anything wrong, (2) Because it would have halted the slow realisation that I want.
I`ll try to keep this as brief as I can:
Life is this one long story and everyday we try to write the best chapters we can about ourselves, so that we too have our happy ending. In our stories, we try to portray ourselves as a hero and since it is difficult to get rid of our biases - even when we commit mistakes we try to justify ourselves and in so doing, we misconstrue the story.
The reason why we often act in a particular way and even try to justify ourselves is because we hold certain beliefs in life. Certain beliefs push you forward, others limit you. In psychology there is a term that is used: Belief perseverance - this is when you continue to maintain a belief even after the information that initially gave rise to it has been refuted or proven to be inaccurate.The belief I’m talking about is his general attitude towards woman - that a woman should only be a homemaker, that small town girls uses man as a ladder to enter the high society, that education for women is just a pretense. See, he has grown up and even when his mom tried to clear his beliefs on his birthday, he took note of what she said but was unable to believe her because the belief that she threw him in the dustbin after using him and his father has driven his entire life, this belief has made him survive the traumatic childhood and when a belief becomes your key to survival, it is difficult to let go. We cling to beliefs even when we know that they do no good because it is the only truth we know and because it is essentially hard to unlearn what you have spent so many years learning and reinforcing. The belief that his mother is a woman who could use and throw him hurts him but it became easier for the child in him to swallow that pain by constructing a mental image of his mom as a bad person.
To continue maintaining that belief against all odds, you filter out all evidence that proves the contrary and the brain pays attention to all evidence that reinforces that belief. This is why it is often said that the first impression is so important because once an impression/judgement is formed about you, it’s harder to shake the beliefs. His first impression of Anokhi was in the prize giving ceremony where he saw her admiration for Astha and he connected that image back to her speech that he heard and scorned at - He constructed a mental image of Anokhi, then- that she is similar to Astha. Her desire to be at SIAC, her efforts and struggles are conveniently discarded by the brain because it proves the contrary. If his brain acknowledges Anokhi's dreams and desire for education, it would challenge his whole perception about Astha, therefore turning his whole childhood into an illusion. But there comes a point when your beliefs become limiting and damaging and this is exactly what is happening. A change of belief does not come overnight though because they were learned as a result of an emotionally and physically overwhelming experience.
Now, there is generally a strong motivation to defend those views that we hold as sacred because those views are born out of our personal experience, it is inherently tied to our emotions. Moreover, if we continue to live in the feedback loop with similar people holding similar beliefs as us, it becomes harder to shake up those beliefs. Today, Shaurya justified his outburst as something he said in anger, and something that he did not even mean and how wonderfully Anokhi summed it up for him - “Aapke dimaag mein tha, iss liye nikli hain sir.” His guilt at this point is due to the fact that he voiced out his thoughts, in an aggressive manner. These thoughts were meant to be restricted to him and his story, and was not for her to hear. His defensive mode kicked in again when he saw her with Ahir and immediately he went like, I was right afterall.
But, why the outburst? Generally, when deeply rooted beliefs are called into question or are challenged, the amygdala (the part of the brain that processes strong emotion like fear) activates your defence mechanism and tries to find a go-to response to protect you from threats. The most common form of Defence mechanism is flight (run away) or fight - whatever form of defence mechanism is chosen, the goal is one: to survive. While so doing, we become so charged that we do not bother considering a difference of opinion. Think about this, you are out camping in a forest with some friends and at night, you spot an animal with yellowish fur moving, your first step would be to run away. We run away, not because of our emotions -such as fear, but because of a preconceived notion or belief that is already in our mind, that is, Forest+Yellow fur = Danger, and this sparks an emotional (fear) response and then a physical response (running away). However, that may actually be your friend wearing a costume with the intention of scaring you. In essence, many times we act, not according to what things really are like, but according to an image our mind holds of what they are like. We make mental images of ourselves, our world and of people around us, and we behave as if those images are the truth - rather than the things they represent.
So, the mental image that Anokhi is a Woman+Connection with Astha+Ambition+Humble Background+Catching feels = DANGER. That’s the signal the brain is sending him. The fact that she affects him as much as she does despite how low he thinks of her pesters him. His heart is allowing her, but the brain is strictly against it because she is after all everything he fears, and should he allow her into his heart, she will leave him. That’s why the outburst; the words were for Anokhi, but it was an internal battle between a man who was starting to get affected Vs a man with strong beliefs.
To end up, I’d say buckle up, we are in for something intense. Maybe the following lines describes what we are in for:
Jism ke nishaan aksar dikh jaate hai,
Yeh rooh ke Zakhm dikhaoon kaise?
Ek daastaan thi uske hone mein,
Ek pal mein usse bataoon kaise?
( I don`t know the origins of this, but heard it from IPK-Promos and it stayed)
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