Crimes of Passion OS: Shaurya's road to Redemption

Crimes of Passion OS: Shaurya's road to Redemption 

Part 1

"So Mr. Shaberwal will you please have a seat or do I have this hour of you sulking away in silence in the corner?" asked Dr. Ahuja to a restless and agigitated Shaurya who snapped back in a foul mood, "We both know I am not here by choice.  In fact I would really appreciate it if you gave me the clearance certificate for this programme." A very amused Dr. Ahuja smiled at him in amusement and said, "Mr. Shaberwal do you just hand out Degree certificate and diploma to the students enrolled in your classes or do you actually teach them and test their knowledge before awarding them their degree. You can think of this Cabin as my Class and do as you are told. We can start by you first having that seat on this couch. You can lie down if you want." Shaurya reluctantly took over the seat to get this done with. He took the seat opposite to Dr. Ahuja who was scanning him and closely observing him like a parasite under microscope. It unnerved him but he had no choice but to complete this charade if he didn't want to bear the consequences of his actions. 

After ages Dr. Ahuja began the session with a simple question, "Can I call you Shaurya, Mr. Shaberwal?" To which Shaurya sarcastically replied, "I think that's the purpose of any given name, Dr. Ahuja." Dr. Ahuja ignored his comments and started scribbling in her notes making Shaurya feel irritated at being attacked and judged. Dr. Ahuja gave him another chance and asked, "So Shaurya. How are you feeling today? What brought you here?" Shaurya gave her a look of disbelief and replied, "I am feeling really peachy today, Dr. Ahuja. In fact I am so glad I punched Dr. Ahir and got arrested for it and being only let off when Patiala High Court mandated me this Anger Management Therapy to keep my records clean. I am absolutely estactic to be here."

"I already read your Case file Shaurya so I know these details. I am asking you what brought you here? To this brink of insanity and violence? A Professor and Educator nonetheless. What was the trigger?" asked Dr. Ahuja in a warm compassionate voice making him mellow done in his tone and said, "I don't know. Honestly I don't know what came over me. He said something to me I totally lost my cool. I just lashed out. Temporary insanity. It won't happen again. Now if that's all then I would like to go now." "No. Shaurya the class is not dismissed till I say so. As for if it would happen again or not we both know this is not the first time it has happened nor likely it will be the last time it will happen. Unless you really don't want to repeat it and let it get out of control. I can help you with that. If you let me." 

Shaurya rubked Dr. Ahuja with a retort stating, "Thanks but no thanks Dr. Ahuja. I definitely don't need your help. I'm fine. I am not a weakling who needs therapy on every boo boo. I am perfectly capable of handling my emotions. I don't need your physcoanalysis blabbering with your trying to save me or help me. I am not a pathetic wimp so please help the actual criminals who requires actual help than me." "That's my job Shaurya. To help prevent those crimes from happening by helping people deal with their angry impulses. You think you are incapable of physically hurting people in your anger and are not criminal. Let me tell you there are some really twisted minds out there and then there are some like you who just ends up committing some serious crimes without meaning to in an impulse. You don't know what your mind or hands are capable of in your anger and bitterness. It takes over a person and needs constant check and tight lease. But if those impulses are suppressed for too long you really can't control with violent tendency and you can't even fathom it. The feeling of disgust and guilt. It kills a person from inside. I am here you help to get those impulses in check and if you can't keep it in check you let it out of your system in an healthy manner."

"I never thought I'll see you again after last time. I would have sent someone from the court if you didn't show up today for your session" smiled a pleasantly surprised Dr. Ahuja to which Shaurya plopped down on the couch and replied, "I don't like quitting things half way and since you compared it with a diploma course I couldn't give up. So shoot." "Who is Anokhi?" asked Dr. Ahuja in a measured tone making Shaurya fume in anger as he abruptly stood up and paced around in the cabin. "Who told you about her? Did you talk to that ACP? Obviously he would try and get back at me and paint me as the villain. That's what happens. He...he..." "Actually I talked to your Dad. Mr. Shaan Sabherwal. I needed some information about your background and since you were not picking up my phone and volunteering that information I had to do something" replied Dr. Ahuja.  "You crossed a line there Dr. You can't snoop around my private life and fish information about it" snapped Shaurya to which Dr. Ahuja patiently retorted, "Actually I can Shaurya. I can check upon you for your safety and people around you. And I thought Anokhi is a Professional subject no? How is she a part of your private life?" 

Shaurya was left speechless and he resumed his seat on the couch getting caught off guard with Ahuja's questions. "So tell me about the incident where you insulted the girl apparently for no reason at all. That's when all this started. Right? This downward spiral for you?" asked Shaurya narrating the entire incident leaving some details too incriminating for him but the general gist. Dr. Ahuja was making notes the entire time making Shaurya anxious. After he was done narrating the incident the good Doctor paused momentarily and asked, "Did you actually believe all that about her? Did you mean every word you said to her? Why do you think about her this way? What has she done to form that opinion in your conscious mind?" Shaurya looked away guilitily and in shame and replied, "Initially I did feel that she isn't what she proclaims. This innocent poor little sap who is always attracting trouble. I helped her like I would help any student in trouble. And obviously I didn't mean half the stuff I said in anger. I just lashed out. When I saw her pattern of behavior I started questioning that poor innocent girl facade. It's just not me. She ...she acts innocent and let men do the bidding on her behalf fighting her battle for her and when my work was done I was ignored and the next target came in. This ACP...ACP was another one such chap in a long list of men she has manipulated to get her work done. She would act all coy and oblivious that she effected Men but pretend all innocent and naive. Even a blind person can see the advances made. After all she got the training from the best...I obviously shouldn't have said..." stopped Shaurya mid way when he realized he had said too much when the Doctor was eyeing him with those analyzing eyes. He looked away and waited for Dr. Ahuja to say something. "So she is the trigger Shaurya. But I thought she is another student? Why do you care if she manipulates other men or not? Whatever she does outside the campus is not your issue or am I missing out on something? Are you mad at her for manipulating you and then discarding you? Or are you mad that you are not a special person and she is not eternally grateful to you for helping her out? Or the real question is that you don't see her as a student? Do you think so much about all your female students the same way or give too much thought about how they behave in their personal space. The way you were talking about her right now anyone would make a mistake of pegging you as an angry rejected lover who is jealous and angry on the woman for not responding to his advances and being with another guy. You don't sound like just a Professor talking about his student. Not even a bit. Something to ponder about. Okay I am giving you an assignment for today. Think about why and how you formed such a low opinion about your student and if you can't justify it I want an explanation why do you think she has wronged you?"

Shaurya took a note pad out on his coffee table to jot down in the peace and solitude of his room like most days recalling the incident in the library. He wished he could take back some of the things he said to her in library as he knew it were untrue. He wanted to smash things and grab her and shake her to get her to notice him. To ask her what's wrong with me? Why I don't get the same respect and gratitude that gets bestowed upon ACP? What is it about me? He recalled the incident after the library one where he proved Anokhi's innocence in the cheating issue. He wanted to apologize for some of the vile things he said that he didn't mean and make it up to her in some sort of way. He wasn't expecting the reaction he got from her.

 "It is my obligation for saying it even if I don't mean it. But Thank you Sir for proving me innocence and stopping this expulsion. But it was totally not necessary. I was leaving as it is. I just wanted to make a statement. But now that I think of it I shouldn't leave this college. In fact I will be here day in day out and study hard. I don't need your certificate for my character or lack of it. I will never forgive you or forget what you did. You have lost my respect for you as a Man.I couldn't have careless of your opinion of me now. I will still attend all your classes and give you the respect a Professor deserve even if you have lost all the respect and goodwill by earning from me these past few months. Unlike you I can still behave professionally and not let my personal judgement let you treat with the contempt you deserve. You may be a good teacher and a good Economist but you certainly are a pathetic man and I don't see that opinion of mine changing for anything least of all by this small gesture you made today expecting me to just forgive everything and how you treated me. And please don't ever save me again I would hate to feel obliged or obligated to you for your help and I don't ever want to hear you claim that I am some wallflower who needs your or any man's protection or his shoulder to cry on. Rest be assured I certainly won't ever come to you."

__________>____________>__________>__________>____

Continued in the post below. 

Part 2 

Shaurya passed Dr. Ahuja his note pad like a sincere student handing over his assignment for assessment. The doctor quickly scanned through his "homework" and passed a quick look and said, "What's this Shaurya? You have written here that you...you didn't believe half the things you said and wish could take them back. Let me tell you Shaurya no one says things he actually didn't mean. May be you regret saying them out loud but you did mean them at back of your mind. May be not about Anokhi specifically but about women in general. Would that have something to do with your relationship issues, anger and hatred towards your mother clouding your judgement on every aspect of your life?" Shaurya pondered over it for a minute and replied, "To be honest I don't know. May be you are right. May be I meant those words when I said it to them." 

Dr. Ahuja gave him a blank look and asked, "You don't sound too sure Shaurya. What is it? You said meant right now. So that's in the past? What happened to question this judgement and opinion about her?" Shaurya narrated the post cheating lecture and long hearing he got from Anokhi. "Last week she did something so crazy that I don't know how and why my own harsh words started ringing in my ears" said Shaurya to which Dr. Ahuja asked "What happened?" Shaurya recalled the incident last week when it was pouring cats and dogs the time he was leaving his office late. He noticed Anokhi still pulling those tables in the Canteen on her own in that crazy heavy downpour. He rushed in to help her and she pushed him away. He whipped around and yelled, "Are you crazy? Let me help you. This will take you ages to do this alone. Why didn't you call the peon he'll help you? Now don't be stupid. Here take my coat you are shaking badly. You'll catch pneumonia." Anokhi continued to push him until he had enough and pulled her under a roof and yelled, "Stop it stop it. Come with me you stupid crazy stubborn girl. Do you want to die?" 

Anokhi yelled back at him and tried to pull out of his warm embrace and tugged at his hand to leave her wrist in his grip. He immediately released her list but backed her up against a pillar protecting her from the incessant rain. She yelled at him and said, "I would prefer catching pneumonia and death before accepting your help. Not ever again. Been there done that. A man like you would cheapen even mine calling the peon for help. You made sure I now even think 100 times before asking any man be it ACP Ahir or Shaan Sir for the fear or being called manipulative, social climber, gold digger and what not. I hate that you have made me so bitter about men being fully aware that not everyone is like you. Narrow minded. People are kind. Men are kind. I had thought of you also being that once. How you brought me down earth quickly. Now move out of my way and go away. I would tale my chances with pneumonia." Shaurya silently stood watching her push those tables and chairs to the safety of the storage with her tiny body refusing to give up. He secretly followed her cab till she reached home in a cab spending half her canteen salary on that one ride due to surge pricing. He felt like hitting himself for spewing that venom against her due to his own inadequacies in dealing with his inner turmoil. 

Dr. Ahuja patted Shaurya on the shoulder when he went into a trance recalling the incident and for the first time he felt sympathy in that touch. The sympathetic Doctor gave him a folded envelope with his next assignment to be opened in his peace time. Shaurya went home and became busy the whole week due to his property clearance for Patiala SIAC land. He opened the envelope at the weekend and almost spit out the coffee he was having when he read "Write about your feelings for Anokhi? What does she mean to mean? Define your relationship." Shaurya made it to his next appointment with Dr. Ahuja in a foul mood and he yelled as soon as he entered the cabin, "What the hell? How can you give me such an assignment? H..." to which Dr. Ahuja rebuked him in a firm tone and reprimanded him, "Mr. Shaberwal I don't appreciate you just barging in my cabin. If you are upset at something what did I teach you the last time? Count to 10 before reacting. Take five deep breaths to calm your nerve and think about why are you feeling angry when you get your temper fit. Next time I see you do this you will be not cleared in this therapy and you can expect a law officer on your door. Now get out and wait for your turn." A speechless Shaurya immediately retreated on seeing the calm Dr. Ahuja this angry and getting scolded. Shaurya knocked on the cabin door when the last patient left and was called in. 

Shaurya immediately apologized to Dr. Ahuja on his behavior and said, "Sorry Doctor. I couldn't finish my last assignment. To be honest even I don't know the answer to that. I am yet to figure it out myself. But you were right the day you mentioned she was not just a student. She is not. She is not just a student to me. She is much more. Much more that I can't even define it. But it won't matter now. I have lost her. I have lost her respect and her trust. She hates me and the sight of me. And I don't think she can ever forgive me." "Shaurya, I am an anger management counselor and not a relationship guidance counselor. So I don't know how useful my advice would be to you. Words have consequences. They hurt people and destroy relationships. Even if you don't mean it or you mean it. They are sometimes as good as physical violence and can hurt your loved ones. Even if you repent or regret you can't take them back and turn back the clock. It always hangs in the air even if the other person claims they have forgiven you. They usually don't. My advice own up to your words and your mistakes. The stench of rots of words can't go away with spraying room freshener on it. It needs the act of cleaning up the rot and it takes time and patience and air to clear the air completely. Accepting the problem is usually the first step. So let's begin again, how are you feeling today and what brings you here?" to which Shaurya immediately replies, "I feel miserable and empty Dr. Ahuja. I am feel bitter dn angry all the time and I end up hurting the people close to my heart with my behavior and thoughts. I need your help. I don't want to feel like this always bitter and resentful anymore."

Shaurya continued seeing Dr. Ahuja for months making him come to term with some ugly uncomfortable truths about his personality and trying to overcome some one the impulses he felt when he felt bitter and angry on his parents with reason and compassion. Dr. Ahuja every week gave him small yet significant milestones in his journey to become a better person who didn't feel like he has the weight of a Boulder on his shoulder. He smiled everyday to his family and his students everyday with a heartfelt Good Morning rather than a fake for formality one. His family too was pleasantly surprised at his change of pace and tge spring in his walk. He shed off the jacket or the blazer and instead just went for formal shirts and pants with tasteful choice of socks he always wanted to but didn't try due to his consciousness and image as a serious person. All the students noticed about the change in his personality and dressing some even joked that may be finally he was getting some so he loosened up. All these changes didn't escape Anokhi's eyes but she ignored those changes and the gestures and overtures he made to apologize for his words. She rebuked him insulted him and one time even shoved him out of his way be he didn't seem to give up. Anokhi too started questioning why he was working so hard for her forgiveness and what difference her opinion made to him.

Months passed by and she almost had an heart attack when he saw Shaurya at ACP Ahir's place when he had called her to his cabin in the police station for the FIR copy in Babli's divorce case. Shaurya was laughing and smiling at ACP Ahir's PJ and they were sipping tea. She asked Ahir in a shocked tone, "What the hell is happening? Am I dreaming? I thought you guys hated each other? Didn't he punch you or something?" Ahir signaled Anokhi to take a seat next to Shaurya which she refused and preferred to stand up. Shaurya immediately vacated his seat and left ACP Ahir's cabin saying, "I appreciate you trying to patch things up between us Ahir but it's useless. Ms. Bhalla won't ever forgive me and I know that. And I am okay with knowing she hates my guts. I don't want to burden her with my guilt. That's my baggage and not hers to deal with. I have hurt her with my words however much I want to erase that conversation I can't. And I can't expect her to forgive me and accept my apology. If she does it will be when her heart tells her to. I won't force my apology or words on her. My actions will speak louder than my words and I want her to see that I am a changed Man on her own time, place and will. Bye Ahir. Catch up with you next weekend. You are down by 2 sets."

Anokhi passed a surprised look to Ahir after Shaurya left and asked about how, when and what to which Ahir recited the entire incident when he first seeked his apology for punching him. "What is it? A crime was reported. There is no crime happening here. You can be arrested for false reporting. " to which Shaurya smiled and said, "I was already in lock up once because of you. What difference would one more night make? Anyways you had slapped a restraining order against me so I am risking everything and am here today to apologize to you on my behavior. I am sorry. For punching you. You were right I had stooped really low by uttering those words and was in a dark place. But that doesn't excuse my hitting you for any reason. To make it even you can punch me too. I won't retialte." Shaurya closed his eyes anticipating his punch and then opened his eyes when he felt he wouldn't punch him. That's when Ahir punched him on nose almost breaking it making Shaurya loose his balance and knocked him off on the floor. He extended his hand to a shocked Shaurya to get up which he accepted. "What the hell Man? I wasn't expecting that. You are an officer of law. And did you have to punch it this hard? I have to deliver a key note speech tomorrow on Teacher's day Programme at DU. How will I go with this face?" Ahir smiled sweetly and said, "This punch was not from me. It was from Anokhji's side who sadly couldn't do the honor of hitting her teacher. I have no such qualms. And don't worry you can take this face to a Teacher's day programme like the ugly face behind a pretty packaging all these years. So don't worry this honest face is still prettier than the previous one." "Ouch Man that hurt. Both the punch and your words. Now if you don't mind let me buy you tea. Your favorite Ginger tea. This time I would like to finish that cup." 

"That's how our friendship started Anokhi. He really is a changed Man. You should see him now. Totally changed. I can't decide if he was always like this carefree and fun underneath the tough persona or he has a personality transplant. I wouldn't have done what I did today months back if you had asked me. But these past few months I have seen the man. He is genuinely very sorry for what he did. He would always ask me about you. Check up on you. Secretly look out for you. Even repeatedly apologize to you without ever actually expecting you to forgive him. He thinks he has lost your trust for good. I just...hope you would free him from the guilt around his heart for how he treated you." "How can you say this to me? How can you expect me to forgive him and forget about what happened to me? Typical after all you are a Man. You would stick by your kin. Bro code and all." 

"That's a low blow Anokhiji. I know you longer and are friends with you before than Shaurya. Do you think I would take his side in vain. And I am not asking you to forgive that bitter narrow minded person. But I just want you to give another chance to this new person who deserve a second chance and some consideration. He has had tough time enough with everything from his childhood to his other issues and he recognized his issues and worked hard to overcome them with the help of Anger Management Therapyand months ofcounseling under Dr. Ahuja. I see criminals everyday Anokhiji even the harshest punishments can not change a person unless he wants to and feels the guilt and repentance. What kind of law officer would I be who wouldn't give a person a chance to reform himself after committing a minor first offense. Not that I saying what he did was minor or something. I was just using that analogy to explain even the most hardened of Criminals have change of heart. He is after all a good person. He can definitely have change of heart , mind and opinion. Think about it. You can join Shaurya, Dr. Ahuja and I this weekend on the Gymkhana Tennis Court."

Anokhi thought about ACP Ahir words and co related to her observations regarding the changes in his personality and demeanor these past few months and found herself thinking about the caring man who saved her all those times. She felt conflicted and conflated and decided to give it a go this weekend as this animosity and hatred she had for him was taking a toll on her even if she claimed his words and opinions didn't affect her. It did. It hurt her heart and self respect real bad. She had pretty much vowed to never see his face out of class but for the first time she felt what if? What if she took this chance? What if he had really changed? What if he had not? What if he hurt her again? Did she really want her self respect in that situation ever again. Letting this man close to her again. Trusting him. Respecting him. She decided to seek all those answers herself. 

As soon as Anokhi entered the tennis court two new faces turned to look at her. A cute Labrador pup of 8 months chasing Shaurya around the court who stopped noticing her presence. Another face of a Woman in late 20s approaching her with a smile on the face and said, "So you are Anokhi? Now it all makes sense." She turned around and smiled at Shaurya and winked who blushed and looked away making Anokhi confused. Ahir too joined the ladies and put an arm around Anokhi saying, "Thank God you are here now. These two would never have let me play other wise. You see I am done by 2 sets and so I have to sit out while these two battle it out. Now that you are here we can play mixed doubles and what a good team we will be. What say Shaurya? You and Dr. Gupta vs Us. We will surely beat you." To which Shaurya shrugged and said, "Select your side of the court Ahir and be ready to loose the game." Anokhi gave them all a confused look and asked, "This is Dr. Ahuja? I thought..." "You thought I was a man? Quite sexist of you to assume my gender. Just kidding. In my profession no one takes me seriously if I reveal my first name. So I strictly stick to Dr. Ahuja." "I can totally see that happening. In fact I am kind of relate and have faced narrow minded opinions of some MCPs too so I can sympathize with you. Don't worry I won't ask your first name" said Anokhi throwing shade at Shaurya who colored red being called out in front of the group. He smiled and said, "I agree. She can relate hard with you Dr. Ahuja. She too has struggled a lot to reach here leaving her family, comfort of home and even her wedding for her studies and career. Anyways Vito is feeling homesick so I better leave. You all enjoy the game." Anokhi quickly masked her bitterness and said, "You. You stay. Please. I am sorry. That was uncalled for. Let's Start afresh. I would like want to start a new chapter from a blank page." "Works for me" replied Shaurya introducing her to his Pup Vito who instantly licked her hand when she handed him a treat making both of them smile and look at each other with a fresh set of gaze.

The End. 

Author's Note: Hey guys I know you all are upset and angry with Shaurya today and there are already many post about people trying to make sense of his actions or whether the character is redeemable or not. This is my OS on his redemption from my POV so I want your views if this felt like white washing and justification? Please let me know as Shaurya is the most hated character in the FD after being the most loved for a while. I want to thank you all for the extremely patient reading for such a lengthy OS and I would really appreciate it if you could let me know your honest opinion in the comment section. 

Looking forward to hearing from you all.

Please check out my other works if you haven't already. 

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This is interesting! I am loving the counselling sessions and Dr. Ahuja

I liked that he seemed help and made his life better 

Atleast he does regret what he said maybe at some point she may feel good about him 

What anoki told him about seeking help ..even I felt at some point that people mistake u r intenions a d second guess myself. I still try to stick to my inner circle when it comes to trust

That was damn amazing.... Shaurya needs some anger management for sure 

Glad to see you back from being busy with your studies 🤗

Well what can I say? This was obviously spot on & so good. Specially with the mention of it taking enough time to turn Shaurya's perspective & thoughts about women in to better, the months wise mention was needed. I mean a person with such mentality won't change within a day so yes, this wasn't whitewashing, indeed a good redeemable track 😆

I liked how Shaurya had to go for Anger management counselling which I guess is very adequate under the circumstances. He really needs some therapy where he needs to feel relief psychologically ✋🏻

How Anokhi still found it difficult to accept Shaurya has changed until the very end, how Ahir was pleased with his honesty where he clearly realised his change & how two & two put together Shaurya comprehended that Anokhi was more than a student to him were so beautifully written 

Great job once again! 

Interesting take on the situation...liked it...new beginnings💖

This was so awesome! 👏❤️

You really did manage to redeem him. I said in some other comment that, in real life I would advise him to go to a psychologist. 

And the fact you showed it (I so loved the whole convo part between shaurya and Dr. Ahuja, it was so nicely done)

Also his redemption was over a span of months so that it all the more realistic.

I don’t think they can show such a redemption in the show. You have set the standard too high!

(Though wouldn’t give up hope)

Guilty of assuming Dr.Ahuja as a man in the first glance😶

Some sexism is deeply ingrained such as assumption of a male person when gender is not pointed out. Glad you focused on how anokhi too ended up assuming the same and the sexism against women in workplace too.

It was amazing. 👏

From the beginning to the end, the read was worth the time, and had that grip on the reader. I personally don't mind the length of the posts as far as it's interesting. 

I too thought that Dr. Ahuja is a man. You're right, it's ingrained in our system. We tend to consider the gender as a man if the surname alone is being addressed. 

Shaurya's sessions with Dr. Ahuja were intersting. ACP and Shaurya's friendship was a appreciable take. Shaurya definitely needs a friend in life. 

As far as Anokhi is concerned,she is right in her shoes. I really liked the fact that you didn't show a readymade realisation of mistake for Shaurya. His gradual realisation through denial, confusion etc felt realistic.👏

The way you wrapped the OS was really nice. Indeed a new beginning for ShaKhi. 

Overall, loved it. 

Behen, more power to your pen. 🤗❤️

Originally posted by: FortunaMajor

This is interesting! I am loving the counselling sessions and Dr. Ahuja